Dealing With Having Your Buttons Pushed (Live 10/28/22)

This is the recording of Femke's Friday Live of 28 October 2022, in which she speaks about why our buttons can get poushed and how you can help yourself when it happens. After her talk, she guides you in a meditation to let you experience for yourelf what her words mean to you personally.

Transcript

Hello lovely friends, Welcome to my weekly Friday life. I'm so happy that you are here. And I'm so looking forward to this life of today, Because the topic is dealing with having our buttons pushed. And I know if you looked last week, The title was slightly different, Although the meaning is the same. I will get to that in a minute. If you're here for the first time, My name is Femke Bakker, One of the meditation teachers here on Inside Timer. And I'm here every Friday at this time to speak with you about something that involves you, You yourself, In your world, In interaction with your world, Whether that's the small world from your family or the world at large. I'm speaking about that, But I do not only speak. I try to keep my talks as brief as possible. And if you've been here before, You might know that I do not always succeed in that, Because I do like to talk about things of interest. But I also believe that I can speak a lot about a topic and I can make you really, Really understand with your head what I mean. But that is not the same as when you start to experience for yourself what you can do with that understanding, With that knowledge. So I always guide you in a meditation afterwards, In which I try to let you experience for yourself, For you personally, Uniquely you, How it feels for you if you would start using that perspective, If you would apply that meditation, If you would work with the understanding that I just gave you. So that second part of that meditation is for me always really important. That is why I started to record these lives on audio and I'm publishing these. So if you miss one or you're here and at a certain moment you think, Oh, I wish I could hear this again, Then you know that in one, Two weeks these recordings will pop up in my track list on Insight Timer. So if you're not following my profile, Please do so and click on the bell so that whenever something new pops up, Whether it's an audio or a course or a workshop or anything else, You will be informed that I've published something. So what I started to say, That practice for me is really, Really important. So with most of my lives, I publish them twice. Once the full talk and the practice, Followed by the practice, But then also the practice only. So that after hearing the talk, You can come back to the practice if it resonates with you, If it helps you, If you like it, If it's easy for you. And you don't have to go through the whole talk again. Of course, You're most welcome to listen to the talk also, But I also understand that at a certain point you just want to do that practice and work with that. And since those meditations are very often around half an hour long and the talk also, We are here for an hour, Sometimes more. So I think that's a really good way to work with it. So if you are here for the first time or maybe the second time, It's really worthwhile to check out my other talks in my track list here on Insight Timer. Next to the talks, There are also many guided meditations, Different techniques, Different viewpoints, Different perspectives. And if you start to listen to a lot of my work, You might start to see that I have a core, A core teaching. And that core teaching is self gentleness. So you might've heard the term already before, But I'm going to give you my definition of self gentleness. And that is this radically accepting yourself as the most important person to consistently deserve your own gentleness. Yeah. Again, Radically accepting yourself as the most important person to consistently deserve your own gentleness. So why have I picked self gentleness as a concept and not self love? Well, Very clearly it's about the same, But we don't give it the same meaning. The word love has so many connotations. We have so many different ideas about what constitutes love let alone self love. If you ask someone, Do you love yourself? The answer will be pretty quickly. Yes. But if you start to think about it and you listen to the sometimes critical words that you have in your own head, You do not always feel so self loving, Which brings me by the way, To the fact that next week my talk will be that how to deal with self criticism. So if you are wondering about that, Join me also next week and you will hear more about that. So self gentleness. I purposefully chose the word gentle because it sounds feasible, Right? It sounds doable to be gentle to yourself. Aren't we always from time to time gentle towards ourselves? That doesn't sound as something hard. It sounds like something you can do in between everything in between all your chores, In between all the expectations, In between whatever is going on, To be gentle for yourself for a moment or maybe two. Yeah. But then my definition hits you, Right? Radically accepting yourself as the most important person to consistently deserve your own gentleness. Oh my. Consistently. So also when you fail, Also when you feel you are not doing something right, Also when you are embarrassed, Ashamed, Also when someone else tells you that you are not doing a good job, Yes, Also then you are going to dive deep into yourself and find in what way you can become self gentle. And that's actually a pretty easy job, Becoming self gentle, If you take it step by step. You know, You've been here already for pretty some time on this world. You cannot just become self gentle just like that if you've never practiced that. So it will take some time. So to help you with that I created a checklist. An honest checklist, It's actually you can print it, It's with daily tasks and you can even check off on what day you did what task. And those tasks are all self gentleness practices. So you don't have to do them all 19, There are 19, But you can just take a look and see which one resonates with me, Which one do I feel like doing, Which one feels doable. So then you do that. And even if you just do that practice every day, That's fine, You don't have to use them all 19. But I've created this sheet because I know we as individuals are so diverse, So unique, That everyone resonates with something else. And you might resonate today with this practice and tomorrow with a different practice. So it's also self gentle to allow yourself that. If you want to get this checklist and after my life, I will remind you at the end, You just go to my profile, You click on the link and then you find on the top a link that will bring you to a downloadable self gentleness checklist. So today's topic, Having your buttons pushed and dealing with that. So you might remember from last week that first I called it dealing with triggers. And what I meant with triggers is actually meaning having your buttons pushed. So why did I change the title? I just want to briefly address this. That is because my oldest daughter who is studying to be a medical doctor, She saw on Instagram my posts, And she said, Can I please give you some constructive criticism? And I said, Of course, My dear, Always open to hear that. And she said, I see you use the word trigger a lot. And she said, And I know you mean it well. And I know you mean it also in the right sense that people might have old wounds or beliefs or maybe even traumatic experiences that are triggered by things. But she said, You have to know that the word trigger is really meant in mental health conditions. It has a special meaning. People who have anxiety, Who are triggered into panic attacks, People who have PTSD, Who have, You know, Their trauma triggered. You deflate the meaning of triggering if on such a big platform as Insight Timer. You start to use it so that people think they can also use it when, You know, Someone is annoying them, Someone is irritating them. And then I explained, Yeah, Indeed, I mean it. I use the word for myself sometimes when an old childhood wound is triggered and have a response. And she said, Yeah, On a personal level, That's perfectly okay. I don't mean that, You know, You cannot do that. But she said, But you have a role here on Insight Timer, And you have to use those words properly. And I thought about it. She gave me something to read it. I thought, Well, She is right. I'm going to change this. We can still think or feel like we are triggered. But I agree with her that I also don't want to take to devalue that word for people who are really suffering from mental health problems and leave that word to them in the broader sense of speaking. So having our buttons pushed, I think that is exactly what I meant. And it's a different way of saying it. And we can, Yeah, We can have a whole talk about the semantics of that. But we're not going into that. We're going to speak about having your buttons pushed. So what do I mean with that? What I mean is that in an interaction with someone else, Or someone else's, Because there are more, You suddenly notice that because something they do or don't do, Something they say or just remark, Sometimes not even directed at you, You suddenly get emotional. Something happens within you that you suddenly feel that they said it on purpose. They wanted to hurt you or they wanted to point something out to you. So basically that moment you start to feel, Well, Whatever the button is that is pushed. So some people can get, Suddenly feel stupid when someone says something or feel really ugly or fat. Some other people might think that people are really after them. Well, There are so many examples. I see that there are already a lot of comments here. So I'll go take a look, You know, Maybe to hear some of your experiences with having your buttons pushed. But I'm sure that you know what I mean when I speak about having your buttons pushed. And sometimes we're not even aware that these are our buttons. Someone does something, Someone says something and immediately we feel this emotional response and we feel like lashing out of them towards them or telling them something so that they start to feel guilty or we cry or we get angry or we slam with doors or whatever that is. And you know, I'm not speaking about those people that you don't know that spark those feelings like in the traffic or something. No, I'm speaking about people that care for you, People that you care about, People in your family, Your spouses, Your children, Your parents, Your siblings, Your friends, Your bosses or your employees. These are the relationships that matter for us. And on a certain level we sometimes know that this is not truly them but it's us. But it's not always so clear and why that is not always so clear. It is because that emotion is sparked. The moment an emotion is sparked, It's hard for us to think clear and to really value the meaning of what someone said or did for us and also where it came from. So whenever an emotion happens, And by the way it can also be buttons that are giving you a pleasant feeling. It doesn't per se have to be about unpleasant emotions. But generally we like the pleasant emotions, We enjoy those feelings so when those buttons are pushed we don't care so much. We actually love those folks for pushing those buttons. But in a theoretical sense, Whether an emotion is unpleasant or pleasant, They always give us information. They always give us information that we put the power on the other person to judge or have an opinion about us. Even so, When those opinions that we think they have are not truly there, Very often that's our perception based on those buttons that are pushed by the things that we're thinking already about ourselves and we suddenly feel that they might be thinking that as well. So the best way to deal with that is basically by bringing your attention to the present moment. That's hard right? Being in the present moment. You know, If you're longer here or you're listening to my meditations you know I have quite a bunch of meditations that will help you to bring your attention to the present moment. But that can be pretty hard when you know your emotions are aroused when you have those feelings. But that is exactly what I want to do with you in a minute. Because I first want to explain why it's so helpful to bring your attention to the present moment. So what is happening when your button is pushed? Right? Your button is pushed. It doesn't matter what it is. You fill it in for yourself. It can vary. We're all so unique. And you experience immediately a feeling. Very often we feel it in our stomach, Our belly or in our heart space. And that emotion becomes physiological. So our body really responds to that emotion. And this is what makes the emotion actually unpleasant. You know I've spoken before about how to deal with emotions and one of the tricks, The keys is to really see these as a physiological response of your body and to focus on that. Okay. But that's a different topic. So whenever that happens there comes thought in response to that. And those thoughts are not the pure, Clear, Peaceful thoughts that you can have when you're in the present moment. No. Those are thoughts that are sparked by that old button. So for instance the example that someone just makes a remark, Well couldn't you have done that in a different way? For instance that's all they said. So basically they're just asking you couldn't you have done this in a different way? But if you have this old belief that you are not smart enough and that might be because in high school you felt that everyone was smarter than you and you had this teacher who was kind of not liking you and giving you bad feeling about yourself so that you start to believe you were not so smart or maybe you know whatever happened there is a belief within you that you are not so smart. This person says this and you suddenly feel that feeling coming back like you had when you were in the classroom or when you had when you were at the dinner table with your ways, In your opinion way smarter siblings. That feeling comes back. So at that point because those emotions are now ruling your system it's not so easy to calm those down because it will spark other thoughts. Thoughts that you've had many times before, Every time that you were feeling stupid you had this thought oh I cannot do anything right, You see I don't understand nothing, Oh my teacher was right, I really am worthless and you know you can spin out of control with all kind of thoughts which will only put oil on the fire of that emotion which will only put oil on the fire of that feeling and it might take a long time before you can let go of that. So a natural response when someone sparks such an emotion within you is to lash out at them or to give a snarky comment or to try to push their buttons back and especially when those are people that you know, You generally know where those buttons are and you know how to push them. So and then you might have a fight and that can be a way in the end to make up and to start to understand that they didn't mean it like you thought they meant it. You know you can think back of all those times that people that you love pushed your buttons and you created a fight and the fight got bigger and bigger and then after that fight whether there was some time in between or not that you made up and that you were assuring each other that you didn't mean it like that and that gives a sense of relief but my dear friends if that's your way to deal with buttons pushed that's a false relief because you have needed the other person to reassure you and actually you've kept the problem looping. You felt not so good because of them. You made a fight until they told you that it wasn't really the case and I'm sure you're human just like me. I'm not speaking about this because I don't experience these things because I'm also experiencing these things from time to time but I have learned myself to really be aware that when my buttons are pushed that I have to hold back first, Hold my horses, First investigate whether I really need to pick a fight if I really have to engage with this or that something all this triggered, Something all this sparked that I can deal with, That I have to deal with even though it's really hard. So this is basically the process and so the first step would be a process of becoming aware, Awareness, An awareness of what might be going on within you that when one of your buttons is pushed by a certain point you know which buttons there are and you recognize it when they are pushed and then it doesn't matter that it's a different person you suddenly remember oh yes this was one of my buttons. So then it's time not to respond, Not to react with that emotion immediately going after them looking for validation, Looking for a fight, Looking for them taking it back but first to retreat inwards and bring your attention to the present moment if you can and if not just wait long enough until you are in the present moment and you can assess it better and there is a beauty in that process because the moment you start to become aware of buttons being pushed and by retreating, By bringing your awareness to the moment now so you actually start to feel that this is you, You start to feel, You start to be with that feeling, You start to acknowledge that there is this emotion within you that is really old and it has not so much to do with the current situation. Sometimes it has to do with the current situation but then you have maneuvered yourself in a similar situation as once before because there is this big longing within you to let go and to heal yourself. So bring your attention to the present moment is a practice that you can practice that is best to practice also when your buttons are not pushed. If you start to practice this on a daily basis just for one, Two minutes a day, Longer can also be but one or two is already great then it is way easier to do the same process when it is really, Really needed. So I would like to take you guys in just this practice now for a moment and after that I have a different meditation because that is a meditation that on the long term will really, Really help you with supporting yourself in all healing processes. So we do it in two steps. First this practice briefly so you just understand how it works and it will be recorded here also so you can come back to it and then the other meditation which is loving kindness meditation about which I will tell you a little bit more in a minute. So I also see that there are a lot of people commenting here. What I want to suggest is we do the practice and then the meditation and then I will come back and to see what questions are there or what comments are there so I can really address these and we will end the session with like this Q&A. So if you have something coming up that you want to share, That you want to ask and just put it here and at the end after the practice I will come back to that. Alright so. So first a simple practice of bringing your attention to the present moment. So I know that if you try to meditate with the present moment awareness meditation that it can be sometimes really hard. But also something that I realised is that that is because we put the bar really high we expect to bring our attention there and just stay there. And if we are not there we blame ourselves and that would not be self gentle. So I just want to offer you a practice that is so easy and light that you can do it in just one minute. And it is also perfectly fine if you notice that you are out of the present moment because then you just come back. It is really simple. It is really really simple. So just sit or lie down in a comfortable way that feels good to you. And you can close your eyes but you can also choose which is easier if you want to do this practice in between work, Day, Commute. You can also just pick one point and you kind of stare at that point. You know it is a soft focus. It is also possible. And just when you are sitting bring your attention to whatever you are hearing right now. You hear my voice. That is pretty prevalent. Can you hear also sounds that are really far away? Cars in the street. Birds singing. Maybe an airplane. Your attention is right now in the present moment. That is it. How easy was that? Right? Ok now I am speaking to you. You start to think about that. So probably you are now a little bit out of it but you are not that far away because you are still listening to me. Let's do it again. Just sit and listen. Whatever is in your surroundings. Can you hear really gentle sounds? Like your own heartbeat. There you did it again. You were in the present moment. How lovely is that? How simple is that? You didn't even have to close your eyes. Now for some people using their sense of hearing might be hard. So let's do it again and we use the sense of touch. So just sit. Bring your attention to the way your feet are on the ground. Touch points on the ground. Certain parts of your feet are stronger on the floor than other parts. Bring your attention to your buttocks and seat. Can you feel the clothes on your skin? Again you are in the present moment. Right now. You see how easy that is? So if you practice this you know you could even, We all have phones with us these days, Smartphones, You could put an alarm clock every two hours, Every five hours, Whatever you prefer and you just do this for one minute. Sit and listen. Sit and feel. And if it's easier to close your eyes then close your eyes. Perfectly fine. So if you are someone who knows that it helps you to relax by bringing your attention to things outside of you, The hearing can be really good. If you are someone who likes to keep that attention more internal then you can use that sense of touch. Can you feel it now? How present you are? So next time your buttons are pushed and you notice this, Really allow yourself. You can actually just tell yourself away. I am going to retreat. You know this movement, Leaning to the back, That in itself is already really helpful. And then you just decide to become silent. To have a soft focus on one point or close your eyes. And to just listen for 30 minutes, 30 seconds, Sorry not 30 minutes, Way too long, 30 seconds. Or fill your sense with your sense of touch, 30 seconds. It might be that emotion, That feeling is really strong. And that when you bring your attention to the present moment it's hard to not feel that. If that's the case then just feel where it is in your body. And it's very often or in your head because of a lot of thoughts or here like you cannot swallow or your heart, Like your heart is aching or in your stomach like there is a big knot or maybe your belly like there is a rock in your belly. Wherever you feel it, Bring your attention there. Just bring all your attention there. Pure. Don't think about it, Don't explain it to yourself. Just have the attention as a spotlight there on the physical sensation. But if you do this, Be aware that the moment you start to have thoughts about this emotion then you're not in the present moment. So what I mean by that, For instance you feel this knot in your stomach so you bring your attention to that knot. It is not, That tension is not, Yeah I'm right to have this knot that was really unpleasant what was happening and it's always happening, Then you're not in the present moment. Observing that knot is, I feel like my stomach contracts. It's a really narrow feeling. It's like shining a light upon this contraction of my body. You really focus only on the physiological expression of your body and you will notice that it starts to dissipate. And it can be that there are thoughts coming but like with every meditation technique the moment you notice those thoughts are there you bring your attention back there. And the thing is the more often you practice to be in the present moment the more easy it will become to do so. So this is a practice that you can start to use, You can practice it so that when it becomes natural to you to really you know bring your attention to the present moment so you can start to apply it whenever you want. And of course when something really big happens and this is a big fat old wound that is so hurtful it might be really hard to start healing it immediately. But you could start also with the smaller things with the annoyances that you might have at your work with your children or whatever is going on. It's a process, It's a lifelong process in which you are the director, You are the person that is going to deal with yourself to help you in this, To heal yourself with this. So what I want to close off as a meditation is loving kindness meditation. And why is that? That is because loving kindness meditation is in my experience one of the most healing meditations for ourselves but also for our interactions with others. If you know my work you might know that I study loving kindness meditation also as a researcher and that I have created some courses around loving kindness meditation, Specifically the one here on Inside My Time which is called How to Deal with Challenging Opinions and Behaviours where loving kindness meditation is the basic meditation to start healing your interactions with others and especially in that course to cultivate tolerance of others. And that tolerance is not so much turning the other cheek and feeling really bad what others are doing but it is about letting the power that others hold over you go to empower yourself to find your own voice so that you're not disturbed anymore by people who are really different from you for whatever reason and you start to resonate with folks that believe the same things like you do and you can make a stronger position in your world from a place of self-love, Self-care and also care for others. But if you're interested in that check out the course. If you have a premium subscription on Inside Timer you can have access to all courses of all teachers here on Inside Timer for free and really check out that one. It's a really interesting one I think. There are already almost 4, 000 people did it and really really got a lot out of it if I can understand their responses. Alright, So we're going to do the loving kindness meditation. When we close off I come back to see whatever questions are here and to address those. But first this before I start I would like to I would like you to pick now three people. One person that you love dearly. One person you feel neutral about that could be you know someone that you might see when you walk your dog without knowing their name or someone who served you coffee in the morning at the train station. Someone like that. And a person that you had some troubles with. And don't pick immediately that one that you know you had big troubles with that really ruffles your feathers that you just by thinking of their name you get really emotional. That might be someone to work with later on. Someone that irritates you and annoys you. You don't feel so good about that one. Yes. Okay. So I'm asking you now so that during the meditation you will not go thinking about who to pick. You have picked them now and you can always return to this practice to do it with different people. So don't be afraid that you're missing out on anyone. You can always come back and work with different ones. Alright let's start. So when we start sit comfortable. And I really mean comfortable so you can lean against the back of the chair, Lean against the wall. You can lie down if that's comfortable to you. You might fall asleep then you just need some sleep that's also okay. And gently close your eyes. And let's bring our attention for a moment to the present moment like we just did. Bring your attention to whatever you're hearing. Now bring your attention to your sense of touch. What are you feeling on your skin. Maybe the air on your cheeks. Now feel again for a moment if you are sitting comfortable and relaxed. And if not then shift a little bit to make yourself more comfortable. Really take some time to allow yourself to be as relaxed as you can be right now. Alright. Now I would like you to imagine this person that you love be with you. That they are together with you. So you can use your fantasy, Your imagination in the way that you like to fantasize. So if that goes through images then just imagine that they are standing in front of you. But if you don't fantasize in images then just get a feel for their presence. Maybe you want to say their name. This is a person that you love. This is a person from whom you know they love you. It's feeling so open and free and loving and supportive. And when you get a feel of their presence I imagine that they are looking at you. And that they are going to wish you so much good. And they do that by repeating four sentences. So I will say these sentences first and afterwards we are going to repeat them together. So imagine them saying to you. May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live your life with ease. Alright. Now join me. You can repeat these sentences out loud or just mentally. Whatever you feel comfortable with. But imagine these people telling you. May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live your life with ease. And if you find it hard to say them with me then just repeat after me. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be safe. May you live your life with ease. Alright. Now let's wish these things back to them. Imagine them again standing in front of you. Get a feel of their presence. Maybe you can picture the outline of their body. Picture their face. And let's wish them the same. May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live your life with ease. May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live your life with ease. You can see how they are receiving your words. Let's wish them one more time. May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live your life with ease. Alright. Now imagine that you see yourself right now. Imagine that you see yourself standing in front of you and if you find it hard you can imagine that you are looking in a mirror or that you see yourself on a photograph or a video. Just get a feel of your own presence, Your face, The outline of your body. You can even say your own name to get that feel of that presence. And we're now going to wish these same wishes to yourself. Repeat after me. May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live my life with ease. One more time. May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live my life with ease. If you notice that you get a little bit emotional, That's okay. That's perfectly fine. Let's say it again. May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live my life with ease. Yeah. Alright. Now let's expand our circle of loving kindness and let's now imagine that neutral person, That person that you don't really know, You don't have specific feelings around them, The person in the street that you see often, The person that serves you coffee. Just get a feel of their presence. You can imagine the outline of their body, Their face standing right in front of you and just acknowledge that every person has the same desire to feel good, To feel happy. And we acknowledge that but also this person that you don't know really also has that desire. So this is what we're going to wish them. So repeat after me or say it with me. May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live your life with ease. May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live your life with ease. One more time. May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live your life with ease. Alright. Now bring to mind this person you've had some difficulties with. Get a sense of their presence but put them at a position that feels good to you. So if you want to keep a large distance then keep a large distance. That's perfectly fine. You are the director of your own imagination here. Put them on an equal footing but keep the distance if you need that. Get a feel for the outline of their body and their face. And before we start to wish them well I want to tell you something. Something really important and that is this. By sending them loving kindness you do not condone whatever they did. You do not agree with whatever they said. You don't have to forgive them. You don't have to love them. The only thing that we are going to acknowledge here is that every being has this unity of desire and that is to be happy. To be healthy. To be safe. To have an easy life. And the way they might want to achieve that, That's not at stake here. All that we are focusing on right now is your ability to understand that on this abstract level, On this loving level all desires are the same. So when you get a sense of their presence really at a distance that feels good to you we are going to send them the same wishes. If you notice during doing so that it's too hard for you then just stop and send those wishes back to yourself because when you start to suffer you are the one who needs to get these wishes and no one else. So they are standing in front of you and we are going to wish them. May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live your life with ease. May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live your life with ease. If it's too hard for you then just stop and send these wishes to yourself but if it's not too hard then join me once more. May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live your life with ease. Well done. Now let's sit here for a moment and expand our circle of loving kindness towards all beings. Just let's bring our attention to all beings in front of us. All beings behind us. All beings above us. All beings below us. All beings known and unknown. All beings on this planet earth. And let's send all beings the same wishes. May all beings be safe. May all beings be happy. May all beings be healthy. May all beings live their life with ease. May all beings be safe. May all beings be happy. May all beings be healthy. May all beings lead a life with ease. Let's sit for a moment and feel how this circle of love, Kindness, Compassion forthcoming from you starting with yourself has expanded to encompass the whole planet earth. If you would look down on earth now you would see your own loving light surrounding this whole planet. It feels good right? Relative to how you started it feels more lighthearted. More gentle and kind. And just for the purpose of today I would just bring our attention back to our own heart for a moment. If you want you can put your hands on your heart space in the middle of your chest. Bring your attention to your heart and if you find it hard to do so then just imagine that there is a light in your chest. Beautiful coloured light. And let's send our wishes one more time to that light in our heart. May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I live my life with ease. You can repeat a few times for yourself if you like or you can just sit in silence feeling your heart, Feeling your own love resonate through your whole body. I'll just give it a minute before I lead you out of the meditation. Alright. You can let go of the intention. Keep your eyes still closed. Just take some time to get back in your body and wiggle your fingers. Wiggle your toes. Feel how present you are. Feel the relative silence, Peacefulness within. You did that. You gave that to yourself. Well done. And now in your own time you can open your eyes but really take some time. Take one minute, Take two minutes, Take some time to get back here.