Do Our Thoughts Really Matter?

There’s conflicting information regarding our thoughts. Some professionals say they matter and some say they don’t. Well, the reason there’s so much conflicting information about this question is because it’s not so black-and-white. It’s a little more complex than just answering yes or no and the answer depends upon where you’re at in your stage of growth. Dr Traci explains why so that you can determine what this means for you.

Transcript

Welcome, Everyone. This is Dr. Tracy Moreno, Psychologist, And today we're talking about our thoughts and whether or not they matter. So there's a lot of conflicting information regarding our thoughts. Some professionals say they matter and some say they don't. Well, The reason there's so much conflicting information about this question is because it's not so black and white. It's a little bit more, Actually a lot more, Complex than just answering yes or no. And the answer depends upon where you're at in your stage of growth. So let's break it down and walk through this together. If you're currently experiencing thoughts that are negative, Intrusive, Obsessive, That contain excessive worrying, Worst case scenarios, Fears, Doubts, Insecurities, Then the answer to the question, Do our thoughts matter, Is no, No, Our thoughts do not matter. This is because we can't afford for them to matter because if we were to believe that they matter, That could actually exacerbate and amplify those negative thoughts. If we believe they matter, Then we're giving those thoughts even more power over us. Experiencing these thoughts is bad enough as it is, Much less having to worry about the consequences from them. We already become anxious over our thoughts when we believe that they have power. Then we get anxiety over our anxiety, Which compounds the problem. Whereas if we can simply deal with the negative thoughts on their own, We've already limited half the battle. So let's start here. Thoughts have no power over us unless we allow it to. Thoughts are just thoughts without action behind them. In fact, No one even knows we're having those thoughts unless we tell them or act on them. The reality is we all have wild, Crazy, Outlandish thoughts with content that ranges from ridiculous to disturbing, Or even they can be aggressive in nature. But remember that most of our thoughts are from the ego, Which means they are fear-based and negative in nature. If we choose to hold these thoughts to a higher standard and believe that they have power over us, Then we will listen to them, We'll entertain the idea, Play out scenarios, And basically take it and run with it down the rabbit hole, Turning one simple, Random thought into hours or even days or weeks of unnecessary emotional distress. The good news is there's a better option. If we see them as mere thoughts and don't take them too seriously, We're then able to hear them, Hear them come in, And easily let them go out. We can do this by acknowledging how absurd the thought is and just releasing it. I'm sure there's many times that you do that already. There are many ways we can do this, And I'll review a few techniques here, And it might be a good idea for you to write these down. So if you'd like to pause the recording and get pen and paper, Then you can do so now and come back when you're ready. Now, These techniques may sound basic or silly, But I'm telling you they work, And they are very simple, So it never hurts to try and see what works for you. Again, You have nothing to lose by trying, Yet a great deal to gain if any of these techniques work for you. So one, Let's talk about the stop technique. Literally say the word stop in your mind and redirect your attention onto something else like a good, Appropriate coping skill. Number two, Swipe left. Swipe left in your mind's eye. Sometimes I even use my finger in the air in front of me and swipe left, And imagine the thought going to the left right out of your mind. Number three, The pause technique. If it's the thought you need to think about later, But keep worrying about it now, In your mind's eye, Visualize a pause button and just hit it. Press the pause button. Visualize it. You can do it all in your mind, Or again, Sometimes I use my finger in the air and I just hit the pause button, And remind yourself that you're going to think about it later at a more appropriate time when you're able to. Number four, Shake it out. You can literally just give your head a little shake back and forth and imagine shaking the thought right out of your head. I'm telling you, It works. Mental distraction. We actually cannot think of two things at the same time. Mental distractions, Such as affirmations or repeated mantras, Journaling, Automatic writing, Or talking to a friend, These can be highly effective by disrupting the negative thought process. I used to use the mantras, No emotion lasts forever, Because it doesn't. Sadness, Anger, It always eventually ends. Even happiness doesn't even last forever, Unfortunately. Another great mantra is, If it's a good idea now, It will be a good idea when I calm down. This one I use when I'm in maybe like an anger state and I want to make some sort of rash decision. And this one is hard to agree with, Though. How many times have we reacted in the moment because we believe that whatever we're thinking of doing, Whatever, How we want to solve the problem, We believe with 100% certainty that it is the best decision, Only to later regret that decision. So again, The two mantras that I like using is, No emotion lasts forever, And if it's a good idea now, It will be a good idea when I calm down. And the last tool is a behavioral distraction. This is number six. Behavioral distraction. Take action and distract yourself with a healthy and appropriate coping skill. Remember, We can't think of two things at once. So you want to choose something that engages your senses enough to distract the intrusive thoughts. The coping skills we choose must also match the level of emotional intensity that we're experiencing. So with more anxious, Fear-based thoughts, We need a coping skill that's more physically active that can help us release that excessive energy, Like upbeat music or singing or dancing, Exercise, Or anything with physical activity and movement. Punching your bed or screaming into a pillow works fabulously to release built-up tension. For negative thoughts that are more numbing or sad, We can use more calming coping skills like meditation or taking a bath or taking a walk or being with a pet. Now, Many people think they only need to do this once, And the thoughts should be gone for good. But unfortunately, This is not true, Or they wouldn't be intrusive thoughts. So you'll need to repeat these techniques as often as the thoughts re-enter your mind. But with practice and persistence, Eventually, The negative thoughts won't last as long or come back as often. Eventually, They'll be less intrusive and more manageable. Now, To some, This may not be positive news. I guess that's because the solution isn't easy and requires a conscious, Consistent effort. Although the alternative is to continue experiencing these negative thoughts and the subsequent stress it puts on your body and mind, Because there is no quick fix. You have the choice to do the work and take back control over your life or don't. But if you choose not to do the work, Just be warned that the intrusive thoughts could get worse. I understand this doesn't feel like a choice, But it is. I'm not going to sugarcoat this because I'm just not a sugarcoater. But in the beginning, It's going to be hard. It's going to be emotionally exhausting. But again, The alternative choice to continue with these fear-based thoughts for the rest of your life is even more emotionally exhausting. Keep in mind, You've probably had these stressful thoughts for many years. So it's going to take more than a couple days or even maybe a couple months to undo this thought pattern and replace it with healthier thought patterns. Now, Let's revisit the original question. Do our thoughts matter? It's not the initial thought that matters or that has control over us. Having the thought means nothing. Attaching to the thought, However, Means everything. Attaching to the thought means we actually entertain the idea, Which means we give it meaning, Which means we also give it power. This is where our thoughts do matter. Once we grab a hold of that singular thought and multiply it times 1, 000, We are fueling it and giving it energy. And that energy does have the power to manifest itself and create matter like a self-fulfilling prophecy. We create our own reality. So I believe two types of circumstances manifest themselves here for what we're talking about. From a pure psychological perspective, The more time and energy spent fearing negativity and worst-case scenarios, The more we focus on it and then the more we notice it. Our ego-driven mind has a need to be right and continually searches out for answers. It searches for answers without validation. So if we fear the worst will happen, Whenever something bad does happen, We notice it immediately and say, See, I was right. Simultaneously, When something good or even something not so bad happens, We tend to dismiss it, Minimize it, Or make excuses for it because it doesn't fit into our narrative of negativity. The spiritual perspective is based in science and quantum physics. In fact, It's the basis for the law of attraction and the contributions of Albert Einstein, Who discovered that negative energy attracts other negative energy and positive energy attracts other positive energy. We know that energy and matter cannot be separated. So since our thoughts create energy and energy creates matter, Our thoughts can quite literally manifest and create our own reality. Therefore, It can also be said that our life, Including our physical and emotional well-being, Relationships, Career, And financial stability can be seen as a direct reflection of our own internal state. And you can't fake energy. I've seen people on this journey of change. I've experienced it myself. And in the beginning, It's often like a fake it till you make it type of change. Like when we start saying affirmations, We don't usually believe them fully at first. But we hope that the more we say it, The more we believe it. And we eventually do. It's like we make up our mind to be more positive, But it's still a conscious forced effort. Our mind will eventually believe anything we continually tell it. It's how brainwashing 101 works. It's basic repetition. This is the most difficult stage of change because it's as if we're telling ourselves something that we don't yet believe, Which causes an internal conflict. This is the most difficult stage of change because we're telling ourselves something that we don't yet fully believe, Which puts us in an internal conflict. Be aware that at this stage, It seems almost easier to give up and go back to the negative thinking because then we at least know what to expect from the world. We expect negativity and our ego doesn't like the unknown. So even though we don't like negativity, Our ego likes the fact that we know what to expect. Another reason this is a difficult stage is because we're actively and consciously doing the work to be positive, But it could take some time to see the results. This is not a, You know, An immediate gratification. It's going to take time. We're in it for the longterm. This is because if we are in a fake it till you make it stage, It's not real yet. We're still trying to convince ourselves that it's real. And since we can't fake energy, Then our energy is still in that negative or lower vibrational state. So try, Please try not to get too discouraged. And when this happens, Realize that your mind is making the conscious change, But your heart, Your soul, And ultimately your energy needs some time to catch up and make that change. Also for you to begin actually attracting that positive energy and seeing the results. But if you don't maintain your motivation and commitment through this stage, You may never get to the other side of it. You may never get to live life with a free mind and a peaceful heart. Just be aware that this stage exists so that you can keep pushing through it, Stay focused, Stay committed, And good luck on your amazing journey. Thank you for joining me today.

Reviews

Interesting! I'm not a big fan of using affirmations. After this talk I understand why they might work, so why don't give it a try? Thank you for sharing 🙏🤍

Amazing education and guidance! My gratitude for this golden gift to have been aligned to listen to. Thank you.