COURSE

Why You Shut Down (or Blow Up) In Conflict

With Stacey Bennington | Psychotherapist & Coach

Most relationship conflict is not really about what it appears to be about. Underneath the argument about dishes or tone or who said what is a nervous system responding to something much older and deeper. In this course, you will learn what actually happens in your body when conflict arises, why you either shut down or escalate depending on your attachment patterns, and what it looks like to stay regulated enough to actually hear each other. Each lesson builds a fuller picture of how conflict works beneath the surface, and what becomes possible when you stop reacting from the wound and start responding from the self.

Connection Emotionalhealing Anger Psychology Love Relationships Recoveryhealing Stressanxiety Parentscience

Meet your Teacher

Stacey Bennington | Psychotherapist & Coach

Denver, CO, USA

Stacey Bennington is a registered psychotherapist in Colorado and a nationally certified school psychologist with an Ed.S. in School Psychology. She is also a board-certified medical support hypnotherapist, a certified integrative nutrition health coach, and a certified integrative attachment theory coach. With a multidisciplinary background, her work integrates attachment theory, nervous system regulation, and practical, body-based approaches to emotional well-being. She specializes in helping individuals and couples understand how early attachment patterns shape their relationships, communication, and emotional responses, including the anxiety that underlies so many relationship patterns, and how to build more secure, connected ways of relating. Stacey's approach blends science-based insight with accessible, everyday practices, supporting people in reducing relationship anxiety, reconnecting with their bodies, building awareness, and creating meaningful, lasting change.

5 Days

3 students

5.0 stars

4 min / day

Connection

English

Lesson 1

The Nervous System In Conflict

Before you can change how you show up in conflict, you need to understand what your body is actually doing. This lesson breaks down the physiology of conflict responses and explains why your thinking brain goes offline at exactly the wrong moment.

Lesson 2

Fight, Flight, Freeze, And Fawn In Relationships

Most people have heard of fight or flight, but fewer know about freeze and fawn — and all four show up regularly in relationship conflict. This lesson maps each response onto real relationship behaviors so you can start recognizing your own pattern.

Lesson 3

The Pursuer-Distancer Cycle

One of the most painful and common conflict patterns in relationships is the pursuer-distancer dynamic. This lesson explains how it works, why both roles feel completely justified from the inside, and what it actually takes to break the cycle.

Lesson 4

De-escalating Without Abandoning Yourself

Most de-escalation advice tells you to calm down and listen — but that is much harder than it sounds when your nervous system is activated. This lesson offers a practical, body-based approach to de-escalation that works with your physiology rather than against it, and keeps you in the conversation without requiring you to disappear.

Lesson 5

Repairing After Rupture

Every relationship has ruptures. What separates secure relationships from painful ones is not the absence of conflict — it is the presence of repair. This lesson explores what repair actually looks like, why it is so hard for so many people, and how to build a repair practice that both people can trust.

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Core Wounds: What They Are, How They Show Up, And How To Heal Them

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Why We Keep Hurting Each Other

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How To Ask For What You Need In Relationships

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