Welcome,
My friend,
To this SOS practice.
This is a safe space and I am here with you.
If you're here now,
Something may have just triggered a feeling of rejection and I know that can hit our body with a surprising force.
So for the next few minutes,
Let's slow things down together and help your nervous system settle and feel safe again.
Nothing has been broken,
Everything's okay.
Feeling rejected can really be painful and forceful in our bodies.
Maybe someone didn't respond,
Maybe something didn't work out or maybe it was just a look,
A message or even a silence that has suddenly made you question yourself.
And if that's true for you,
Please know this is so human,
Such a common,
Tender human experience.
But with that,
There can often be an urge to rush in and repair because your nervous system is reacting very strongly and very quickly.
I'm going to explain why.
I'm going to show you how you could step in and help.
You might be feeling this physical pain in your body,
Somewhere in your body.
Sometimes when this happens,
We can spend hours analyzing even a brief exchange or feeling a need for excessive reassurance from others or have this urge to control,
Explain,
Fix a situation.
And sometimes this pattern is called rejection sensitivity.
It's a known thing.
It's when our nervous system reacts really strongly to the possibility,
The whisper of a feeling of rejection or disconnection.
And many thoughtful,
Caring,
Intelligent,
Wise people experience rejection sensitivity.
Because when connection really matters to you deeply,
Your body can become very alert to anything that might threaten it.
So it's important to understand,
My friend,
That your nervous system isn't trying to cause you trouble.
It's actually trying to protect connection.
That's what it thinks it's doing.
Because humans are wired for connection.
And our brains,
Therefore,
Treat rejection almost like physical pain.
And there's something important to recognize,
Which is when this feeling hits,
Our mind often starts telling a story.
It starts spinning out and saying things to us like,
You're not wanted.
You've messed this up.
You've done something shameful.
They don't like you anymore.
And yes,
Those stories can feel incredibly convincing.
They can feel true.
But that feeling doesn't make them true.
Those mind games are often just your nervous system trying to explain a painful feeling.
So right now,
Instead of following that story,
Let's come back into our bodies.
Let's bring you back into your body now.
So the first thing to do is feel your body,
Your flesh,
Your bones,
Your presence.
And then you're going to lift your shoulders up toward your ears.
Hold them there for a moment.
And now,
Slowly,
Let your shoulders drop.
Sigh.
Feel that release.
Take a breath.
And then gently press one hand against your chest.
And use just enough pressure to feel your palm on your chest.
And say quietly on the inside,
This hurts,
But I'm okay.
Take a breath.
Let your breath move slowly.
Feel your hand gently pressing your chest.
This feeling hurts,
But I am still here.
Just letting your breath move slowly through your body.
I want to tell you that sometimes,
When rejection hits us this strongly,
It isn't really about what just happened in the present.
Our bodies store memories of earlier moments when we felt uncomfortable emotionally.
So our bodies can store memories of earlier moments when connection felt uncertain or painful.
And so when something today even slightly resembles those moments,
Our nervous system can react as if the past is happening again right now.
And that's why it's such a strong and speedy reaction,
Because it's trying to protect you from having that pain again.
So when you feel in the present something that slightly resembles those old moments,
And you're feeling that surge of pain and that urgency to repair,
A feeling of shame and isolation,
That may actually be an old echo moving through your body.
An old echo that still lives in your body of a time when belonging did feel fragile,
But right now in this moment,
What you're feeling is simply a wave moving through your nervous system,
Just like your slow waves of breath.
And waves can settle.
Feel your feet on the ground,
Press down into your feet for a moment.
You're really here now,
Not there.
Take another long breath.
Let your shoulders soften again.
Your mind may still want to analyze what's happening or what's happened,
But your body doesn't need to solve that right now.
What your system needs most is the message that you are already giving it,
That you can step back,
That you are here,
Present,
That connection has not disappeared.
You're acknowledging your body's remembered something old,
And right now you're helping it return to now,
And giving it a wonderful message,
A healing one,
That connection doesn't have to disappear just because something felt rejecting.
And you can still be here for yourself.
Take another slow,
Luxurious breath into you.
And let that breath wind its way out as everything softens to the earth.
And now just for a moment,
Take a pause to tune into your body.
What's happening in your body?
Has anything shifted even slightly?
You might notice that your breath is a little freer.
There's more space to breathe.
Maybe some heaviness has softened a little,
Lightened.
And maybe the sting of rejection doesn't feel quite as sharp as it did moments ago.
And that tells you a lot.
Feelings can shift without anything else needing to happen,
Without you having to do anything.
Even the smallest shifts matter,
My friend,
And noticing them matters.
Because this is how the nervous system learns and changes,
And becomes more and more a place that knows safety and regulation.
And right now your body is experiencing something really important,
That instead of getting pulled into something,
You stepped in and helped yourself take space.
You,
This was all you,
Supported your nervous system.
So take a moment to let that register.
To let your body feel the shift,
The steadiness you've created.
This is something you can do.
You can meet moments like this with your support and your presence.
Dropping into your body.
And each time you do,
You're healing something.
You're updating your body to safety in the present.
And your nervous system is learning a little bit more about how to settle and feel okay.
So before we finish,
Take one more slow breath in,
Lift your shoulders up,
And out,
Let them drop.
Feel your feet,
Feel the ground.
You're here.
You're steady enough now.
And you,
My friend,
Are learning how to stay on your own side.
And this can only get stronger.
This space is right here for you.
Whenever you need it.
So just knowing that might help you when the waves get a little big,
Every now and again,
As they do.
Thank you for practicing,
Trusting yourself,
Taking space.
And until next time,
Bye.
Bye for now.
