Kundalini Yoga for People Pleasers and Empaths

This Kundalini Yoga practice supports people who tend to overextend, people-please, or identify as empaths by working directly with the nervous system. It helps you notice when you are scanning others and guides you back into your own body through breath and movement. With repetition, you build the capacity to stay connected to yourself while being in relationship with others. Many people report clearer boundaries, less emotional exhaustion, and a stronger sense of self.

Transcript

Are you a people pleaser? I have news for you. That term itself is a little diminishing, To say the least. Think about all the people that you tried to please. Are any of them happy? Are you happy? No. And I want to offer you a different framework to think about all of this. When you were younger, And you were trying to get your needs met in your family of origin, By your caregivers, Whoever they might have been, You probably recognized that you were too small to fight them, Right? That's one nervous system response. You were probably too small to outrun them, So you couldn't flee. That's number two in the nervous system responses. The third one is to freeze. And the last one is about fawning. And that's really what people pleasing is. It is a survival strategy. It is, I see your energy, I recognize where you're at, And I'm going to match you in some kind of way so that I can keep myself safe. Okay, So what that could have meant was flirting, When somebody was being a little threatening, And you needed to make your way out of that situation. What it could have looked like was seeing that somebody is angry, And then offering them a drink of water, So that they could calm down, So that you could feel okay. And this particular pattern might have been going on for lots of time in your life. And I want you to know something, That this isn't your failure. This is actually the success of your body, Mind, And spirit. How am I going to stay safe in this I'm going to figure out how to maneuver my energy, And my size, And my frame, My gender, My sexuality, My race. I'm going to maneuver all of that, Mold all of that, Shapeshift all of that, So that I can stay safe in all of these different environments that don't actually, May not actually have my best interests in mind. And so that's what you did. And so let's stop talking about it like it's people-pleasing, Because nobody's pleased, Least of all us. What is challenging is catching it while it's happening. What is challenging is to be with the people in your life who you have been very cooperative, Compliant with, Obedient almost, And start to pull back your power. And that's, That's the more tricky part. Okay, So I want to offer you a practice. It's a breathwork practice that is relatively simple, Takes a bit of time, But it's relatively simple. And it's a way to harness your energy so that you can stand and deliver a no when it's necessary. You can hold a boundary when it's needed. And you can start to walk away or walk yourself back from situations that always require your survival, Not your thriving. And when you start to do that, Start to call back your energy and use it for your own benefit, For your creativity, For your desire, For your career, For your whatever. I think you'll feel better. And so that's why I want to offer this to you. Okay, So let's get started. We'll do a little bit of a practice now to tune in. This is a sound vibration. And this sound vibration is an opportunity to tune in to the world around us, To hone in to the energy within us, And to start to make those changes by bringing in life force. Okay, So press your palms together at the center of your chest. Sit up tall and straight. You can be on a chair, Sofa, Bed, You can be on the floor, Whatever works best for you. Just be comfortable. Inhale very deeply. Exhale completely. Just stay here for a moment, Breathing in and out, In and out, Just as you regularly do. The mantra we're using here to tune in is the Adi mantra, Aum, Namo, Gurudev Namo. I bow to the teacher within. I call on my highest consciousness. These sounds in the sacred language of Gurmukhi mean I bow to the teacher within. I call on my highest awareness. Let's begin now. Sitting up tall and straight, Inhale very deeply. Exhale completely. Inhale. Let's begin. Aum, Namo. Gurudev. Gurudev. Very deeply. Set your intentions. And exhale. Relax your hands down. Take a moment. If you have kids sitting with you, Have animals sitting with you, Know that they're welcome. They're keeping you company. They're responding to the vibratory frequency of what we're about to do. Bring your hands onto your knees. Let's do some physical movement. First, You ready the body for sitting a little bit more still. Inhale as you press the spine forward, Exhaling as you roll all the way to the back. Inhaling, Opening the chest, Lifting the chin slightly. And then rolling all the way to the back. As you do this, We start to calm the nervous system. We're letting body, Mind, And spirit know that we've reached a place of relative safety, And that our practice is really about enhancing this feeling of connection, Love, And belonging. Move at any pace that feels good for you. Inhaling through the nose, Exhaling from the nose. Inhaling as you come forward, Exhaling as you roll to the back. Really bring your spine involved here. Last two. And last one. Inhale very deeply. Come to center. Hold still. And steady. And exhale. Good. We'll begin with shoulder shrugs now. Inhale, Bring the shoulders up and drop them down. Inhaling up, Exhaling down. And going at your own pace here. Find a way to move that feels comfortable and relaxed, And at the same time gets any discomfort out of your shoulders. Eyes are closed. Just paying attention to your inner movements. Nothing much to see on the camera frame. You may notice a little bit more freeing. You may notice that your shoulders are a little bit tense. And now you've released some of that stuff that you were holding. Last two. And last one. Inhale, Bring the shoulders all the way up. And exhale, Roll the shoulders back and down. Good. We'll do a little bit of work here for the wrists. Inhale, Bring one hand forward. Doesn't matter which one. Bring the other hand forward, And gently pull on your wrist. Pull, Pull, Pull. We'll do a gentle pull here, The stretching out the front of the body, Front of the arms and the wrists. We want to move to the opposite side. Inhale, And gently pull against your fingers. Take a moment now to settle yourself in your seated position. Again, Remember that comfort is the most important part here. Because we'll be doing a little bit of stillness, And we're bringing in prana, We're bringing in life force energy. And in order to do that, We need to keep the spine really straight, And hold a sense of purpose. So as you think about all the habits and patterns that have developed over time, We're going to use this prana, This energy, This life force to number one, Start to notice where you exercise that same habit. Who is it with? When do you do it? And then number two, We're going to start to observe what circumstances, What's happening in that scenario that you feel that that's the most important thing to do. And then finally, We're going to start to make those changes. We're beginning our breathwork practice now. Now that you have your intention in mind, Bring your finger to the middle of your forehead and just make a little bit of a sensation right here. This is your third eye, Also called your brow point. And then relax your finger away from that point and see if you can look up to that place where your hand was touching your forehead. Good. So now you can focus there in a relaxed way. Relax your shoulders. On your left side, Bring your first finger and thumb to touch. And then on your right side, Bring your thumb against the side of your nostril. So here, We are covering the right nostril and breathing in and out completely through the left nostril. We're here for two minutes. So bring your thumb here. Finger straight up like an antenna, Not relaxed, Not folded, Not relaxed, Straight up like an antenna. Inhaling and exhaling. Let's begin. Inhaling for a count of seven. Exhaling for a count of seven. Inhale two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven. Exhaling two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven. If you find challenging, You can do that for a count of five or three. Just make it all equal. Inhaling. Exhaling. A little reminder to straighten up the spine. Inhale very deeply. Hold the breath. And relax your hand all the way down. Slowly exhale. So there, We were energizing the left part of the brain, The free-thinking, Relaxed part of you. And now we're moving to the opposite side. I'm going to take the left thumb, Cover the left nostril. Inhale and exhale completely now through the right nostril. Inhaling. And exhaling. Remember that your opposite hand is first finger and thumb to touch and your breathing is equal. An equal count on the inhalation, Equal count on the exhalation. Remembering to straighten up. Remembering to hold your intention. Inhale very deeply. Relax your hand down and exhale completely. It's taking a few moments there to absorb all the energy of this breathing practice. When we are breathing through the left nostril, We're actually energizing the opposite part of the brain. So our bodies are opposite matched, Mapped. So here we have an opportunity to balance both hemispheres of the brain. So the creative part of you and the analytical part of you start to come together. We have, We find more creative ways to solve problems. So here now we're going to take the same experience, But now we're going to alternate. So we're going to take the, On the left hand, Bring the first finger and thumb to touch. And on the right hand, Bring the right hand up to your nostril, Cover the right nostril, Inhale left. Use the baby finger and cover the left and exhale right. Inhale right. Inhale left. Cover the right nostril. Exhale left. Inhale left. Cover. Exhale. Inhale. Cover. Exhale. Cover. Exhale. And continue. And here, As you alternate from side to side, We're energizing both hemispheres of the brain. So what this does is allows you to take more energy from the left nostril to the right and to create more inspired action. And as you do this, As you breathe through one side and the other, You start to really regulate your nervous system, Start to strengthen your ability to perceive and to understand the moment for what it's really offering you, More learning. We're here for just about another minute and a half and continuing to experience what it feels like to breathe through alternate nostrils. Inhale very deeply and exhale completely. Take a moment to quietly relax into this breathing. Notice sensation, Notice where you are, The flow of your thoughts. And now we'll do the same thing on the opposite side. So now we take the left hand, Right hand is in Gyan Mudra, First finger and thumb to touch, Laying that down on your knee and taking the left hand, Starting now with the right nostril, Inhaling through the right. Cover the right nostril with the pinky. Exhale left. Inhale left. Cover. Exhale. Inhale. Cover. Exhale. Inhale. Cover. Exhale. Inhale. Cover. Exhale. You can go at your own pace now. Check in, Just make sure that you're seated comfortably, Make sure your spine is straight, Your eyes are closed, Focusing in between the eyebrows, Really allowing your body to absorb all of these changes. Your eyes are closed so that you can really hold all the prana. 10% of the energy of our bodies releases through the eyes, Looking around, Comparing, Making sure we're safe, Checking the environment. And when you close your eyes, You get to retain that 10%. Continue to breathe. I'm chatting with you here to keep you connected to your pace of breath and really to experience this practice of harnessing prana. Remember, We want to come out of survival mode. We want to recognize where we don't need to hold that pattern anymore and using the breath to support new habits. Last few seconds here. This is meant to be a complete reset. Really great for beginners. You start to really understand the impact of your breath on your daily life. Take a deep inhale here now. Hold the breath for just a moment and softly exhale. Set for a moment. Let yourself absorb these changes and relax. Good. We're moving on now to now a little bit more of a vigorous breath. This is called breath of fire. If you're pregnant or menstruating, Just go with long, Deep breathing at this time. And if you want to come along, You know breath of fire, You can start it right away, But I always find that it's a good idea to warm up to breath of fire. In other words, Don't just take off and do it, But spend a little bit of time getting prepared and then go into it. So the step in to breath of fire is called panting like a dog or dog breath. We stick your tongue out, Begin panting. And as soon as you get that rhythm, Now close the mouth and begin breath of fire. So now we want to breathe completely through the nostrils. Now go at your own pace. Remember to take a break whenever you need to. We're not trying to get dizzy. We're not trying to lose our presence or practice here. We're really doing our best to operate from this place of cleansing breath now. Breath of fire sounds like what it is. You're going to feel some heat. So keep on going. The heat is going to remove any impurities, Blockages, Impure thoughts, Old belief systems, Things that don't really support where you want to go, Any resistances. Now we burn through all of that. And the burning through like fire is meant to change form, To transmute. That's what fire does. If you take a piece of paper and you write down your intentions and then you burn it, Then all of that goes out into the ethers. And we're doing the same thing now. We're taking our intentions and letting them fly free. So we have just about another minute here. Excellent work. If you find it a little challenging, That's totally normal. This is a challenging breath. It's a little faster than what most of us are used to. And that's by design. We want to shift some habits. So we want to shift how we breathe into it. Last few seconds, You're doing great. Inhale very deeply. And exhale completely. Sit quietly, Let everything settle. And now we have one more practice. But just take a moment and notice how far you've come. Have new thoughts arisen? Have you thought about a different way to approach the people or circumstances in your life? If you have, Great. Trust that. If not, Don't worry. They'll come through. And maybe, Just maybe, You need to practice for a few more days, Maybe even 40, To start to really enhance your breathing practice. Let's move to the next one now. This is chanting long Sat, Short Nam. Sat Nam, Truth is my name. Truth is there is only one, And that is all of us. Inhaling deeply and chanting out loud. Bring your palms together at the center of your chest, Focusing in between the eyebrows and slightly above. Noticing how you feel now. Let's complete our practice now. Inhale very deeply. And we land our practice with a long Sat, Sat. Two more. Sat. Please ground yourself, Bring your forehead and your palms to the ground, Closing off the energy of today's practice. It's a pleasure and an honor to be with you. Lots of love. Until next time, My name is Salimah, Yoga therapist.

Reviews

That was a wonderful experience. So calming and balancing. Now I just have to keep in mind to stay in myself when the urge for pleasing arise. Thank you 🙏🏻 Sat Nam ❤️