If you've been feeling wired,
Tired,
Or a weird combination of both,
Welcome.
Together we're going to return to our window of regulation,
That sweet internal state where you feel calm,
Safe and able to meet life's ups and downs from a steady place.
But we're going to do it in a way that's a little different.
Less about breath,
Relaxing or stillness,
And more about waking up your social engagement system.
The network of nerves connecting your face,
Throat and heart.
Which is how your body creates and signals a ventral vagal state,
The deep sense of safety and calm connection underneath it all.
Because as humans,
We're wired for connection.
A warm conversation,
A genuine smile from a stranger,
A pet resting beside you.
These moments may seem small,
But they can shift your whole internal state.
And amazingly,
We can move into this state not only by people around us now,
But also by the memory of people and pets who are no longer here.
Pretty cool really.
When our social engagement system lights up,
Our faces actually change.
Our eyes soften,
Our jaw unclenches,
Our voice becomes warmer.
Take a moment now to notice how it feels when someone you trust smiles at you.
You can often feel it in their eyes.
And conversely,
When someone's smiling but not truly present,
Not truly authentic.
Something in us senses that too.
So before you close down your eyes,
Let's begin with a simple practice to gently wake up the ventral vagal state.
Place one palm at the back of your head.
Where the skull meets the neck.
And the other palm on your heart or the centre of your chest.
Feeling the contact.
The warmth,
And as you rest here for a few breaths,
Sensing that you're gently awakening the ventral vagal pathway.
Creating the conditions for greater connection.
Safety.
And ease.
Hands back in your lap.
Long,
Smooth inhale.
Long,
Smooth exhale.
As we explored earlier,
This system is closely linked to the face,
Voice and heart,
Helping us express and sense safety in one another.
So now let's continue waking up this state through gentle touch.
Using the pads of your fingers,
Beginning to tap along the jawline.
Starting just below the ears,
Moving down both sides of the jaw.
Slowly.
Gently.
A few times.
And now allowing the tapping to travel up the cheeks.
As though you're waking something kind and ancient beneath the surface of your cheeks.
And then in your own way gently tapping around the eye.
Perhaps making little circles around your eyes.
Softly enlivening your social engagement system.
And now allowing the hands to rest in your lap once more.
Closing the eyes or allowing the gaze to be gentle.
And noticing any sensation.
Any sense of waking up within the face.
Trusting that through this simple practice you've created a little more space for connection,
Safety and calm presence.
Feeling your feet supported beneath you.
Shoulders relaxed.
Heart open.
Jaw soft.
Cheeks,
Gentle.
Eyes smiling.
This is the face of safety.
This is how the body can feel when it's in ventral vagal regulation.
Open.
Available for connection.
Taking three slow breaths here.
Now imagining yourself in the presence of someone you feel safe with.
A friend,
A loved one,
A pet,
Someone from the past or the present.
There's no need to force an image.
You can simply sense them.
Remember them.
Feel the atmosphere of connection.
Opening to any sense of warmth.
Soaking in the experience of safe connection.
Noticing what happens in your body as you imagine them here.
And you might also like to reflect on moments in your own life when this state arises naturally.
A coffee or a walk with a friend.
A cuddle with your dog.
A laugh with your partner or child.
This is your social engagement system in action.
The deep part of you wired for relationship.
You breathing deep into the belly.
Low and slow.
Feeling the softness of your eyes.
The warmth of your cheeks.
The steadiness of your heart.
You and just noticing if you feel any different to when you first pressed play on this guided practice.
This is the gift of awakening your social engagement system.
Feeling the surface beneath you.
Wiggling your fingers or toes,
Taking a stretch if you like.
Well done.
You might like to save this practice and come back to it anytime you want a slightly different type of relaxation practice.
Or when you're feeling lonely or in need of some connection.
