Hi,
My name is Orit and I would love to try a little experiment together.
You don't have to believe anything that I'm about to say.
Just notice what happens inside your body as we go through this video.
You can close your eyes,
Lower your gaze.
And if it's most comfortable for you,
You can keep your eyes open too.
I'd love to invite you now to think about someone that you feel deeply attached to.
It could be your partner,
Someone you're newly dating.
Or a friend or family member.
Think about them,
Focus on them.
Picture them in your mind's eye.
Now imagine your phone lights up.
They've sent you a message.
And it says.
.
.
I've been thinking about you all day.
And miss you.
And let that simmer with you.
Just notice what happened.
For instance,
Does your chest soften?
Does your stomach relax?
Maybe your breathing changes.
Maybe your shoulders drop.
Maybe as you imagine that text.
He smiled.
You might even feel a little bit more alive.
Maybe something else.
Notice how you feel in your body without judging,
Analyzing,
Judging.
Labeling or trying to fix anything.
Now keep them in your mind,
But let's imagine something different.
Imagine that they've become distant.
Nothing dramatic,
No breakup,
No fight.
Just.
.
.
Less available.
Maybe it's been a few hours.
A few days.
They might just be quieter.
And less responsive than usual.
Or maybe their texts just feel different.
In some obscure way.
Notice your body now.
What changes here?
For instance,
Does your chest tighten?
Does your stomach clench?
Do your thoughts suddenly become loud?
Do you start trying to figure out what's going on?
Stay there for just another moment.
Feeling,
Noticing without judgment.
Or trying to fix anything.
There's nothing to fix here.
We're just noticing what's happening in our bodies.
And now let's take.
.
.
Of breath together.
Breathing in.
And out.
Gently open your eyes.
You can make some intentional movement just to kind of Move through that experience.
We like to shake it off.
Or just put a hand somewhere that feels good,
Maybe your heart,
Maybe your tummy,
Maybe both.
Wherever you are right now,
I'd love to ask you a question.
Throughout that experience,
Did your partner actually enter the room?
I'm guessing no.
Nothing physically happened.
The only thing that changed in the last few minutes was what your mind imagined.
But your body and your nervous system responded.
Maybe in a big way,
Maybe in a very subtle way.
That realization That my inner experience can completely change without anything actually happening on the outside.
That completely shifted my healing journey.
Because for years I thought my anxiety was proof that something in my relationship needed fixing.
And sometimes that was true.
Sometimes there was something I needed to bring up.
But most of the time,
My body wasn't responding to what was actually happening.
It was responding to.
What uncertainty awakened inside of me.
The stories,
The ambiguity.
The what ifs.
If you experience this too,
You are not broken,
And it doesn't make your feelings wrong.
Your feelings and your experience are real.
But if it's anything like mine,
They're pointing somewhere deeper.
What if your partner isn't creating most of your anxiety?
And they're actually revealing a part of you that is craving attention.
For me,
That changed the entire course of my anxious attachment healing because I stopped trying to make my partners and my relationships.
Responsible for every fear or worry.
Or insecurity that stems from inside of me.
I stopped trying to make my relationships feel perfectly safe.
And I started helping my own nervous system feel safe.
It's a very different kind of healing,
Healing at the core of the attachment wound versus trying to just ease the pain with reassurance and other things that might help temporarily.
And that leads to being truly free.
If this resonated with you,
This is exactly what we explore in my new video course on Insight Timer.
It's called Heal Anxious Attachment,
Why Reassurance Never Feels Like Enough.
I would love to see you in there.
