Hi,
My name is Orit and I would love to ask you something today.
Have you ever noticed that relationship anxiety almost always sounds like a question?
Are they upset?
Did I do something wrong?
Am I asking for too much?
Should I text them?
What if they're losing feeling?
Your mind starts asking one question after another.
And it feels like if you could just answer the next question,
You would finally relax.
Accepts.
Have you ever actually answered all of the questions?
I'm guessing if you're like me,
You have not.
Because your mind just always finds another question.
So today,
Instead of trying to answer the questions in your mind,
I'd love to invite you to try something different.
Let's take a slow breath together.
Breathing in.
And out.
You may close your eyes.
Lower your gaze,
Or keep them open.
There's no right or wrong.
Think about one question that your mind has been obsessing over lately.
Just fine.
Maybe it's,
Does my partner still love me?
Or am I enough?
But don't answer it.
Just ask the question and notice.
What happens in your body when that question lands?
Where do you feel it?
Does it change your posture at all?
Maybe your body leans forward.
Or contract.
Maybe your body feels more heavy.
Now ask the question again,
Whether you're just saying it in your mind or saying it out loud.
And then simply say to yourself,
I don't know.
Do they still love me?
I don't know.
Am I enough?
I don't know.
Should I text them?
I don't know.
Not because you're giving up,
But because.
.
.
I'm inviting you to practice something most anxious nervous systems never learned,
Which is to rest before solving.
So ask yourself the same question.
And respond,
I don't know.
Notice what happens in your body without judgment.
I notice immediately that a deeper sadness comes up for me.
Notice what happens in your body after you respond with I don't know.
Does another thought immediately rush in?
If it does,
You can say.
.
.
I see you!
And come back to I don't know.
When I say I don't know to those questions,
I feel my stomach drop.
Whatever new sensations arise from saying,
I don't know,
Allow yourself to feel those and be with those without changing or fixing.
And keep breathing through it.
Keep saying,
I don't know.
Do they want to be with me?
I don't know.
Invite any other movements.
That feel natural for you in the moment.
I instinctually want to hug myself.
And comfort myself.
Am I enough?
I don't know.
And I'm with you anyway.
I'm here to stay.
You can hear whatever words come up for you.
Whatever movements come up for you.
And I wonder.
If you felt any sense of relief in your body.
Or maybe not even relief,
But.
.
.
More Quiet.
Let's take one more breath together.
Breathing in.
And out.
And gently open your eyes.
Do any other movements that feel natural to you right now to transition out of this.
If you felt any sense of relief,
Maybe not even relief,
But just more quiet.
In your being.
Notice that it didn't come from finally getting an answer.
It came from giving yourself permission to stop chasing one.
Sometimes our minds convince us that certainty is what we need we need to do anything and everything in our power to just get an answer.
But I know in my own healing and in the work that I do with my clients,
That the more I practice Resting and becoming comfortable in not knowing.
The less every unanswered question controlled my life.
If this practice resonated with you,
We go much,
Much deeper into it in my new video course,
Heal Anxious Attachment,
Why Reassurance Never Feels Like Enough.
Together,
We will safely and gently explore why reassurance never seems to last.
Why uncertainty feels so activating.
How to finally build a relationship with yourself that remains steady.
Even when your relationships don't.
I'd love to see you in there.
