We begin a loving-kindness meditation practice as we do all our practices by taking a moment to find a way of sitting so that we feel comfortable and supported.
A way that allows a sense of dignity into the body.
Connect with the breath.
Invite the mind to settle here in the present moment.
And then we begin the practice itself by first tapping into that place of tenderness,
Of loving-kindness,
Of friendliness within ourselves.
Bring to mind somebody that's easy for you to have that friendly feeling towards.
Someone easy to love.
Perhaps it's a pet.
Someone who's still on this planet or someone who passed away.
Maybe it's someone you know or maybe it's a teacher.
A deity.
Someone,
Something that represents that friendly,
Loving,
Kind,
Tender-hearted quality.
And you hold them in your mind as best you can until you feel a little bit of that quality arising within yourself.
And then when you feel ready,
You'll turn this open heart,
Loving heart towards yourself.
And you begin by repeating some affirmations.
There are many different options.
This is just one of them.
And you'll repeat either out loud or to yourself in your mind.
May I,
Insert your name,
Be filled with loving-kindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
Safe and protected.
Loved and connected.
May I be happy.
And as you repeat these words or other words that have more meaning for you,
Keep attempting to come back to this sense of kind heart.
And sometimes it's helpful to visualize yourself as a small child.
Just seeing the basic goodness,
The innocence that resides within you.
And sometimes this is the most challenging part of the practice.
Wishing these affirmations of kindness and well-being towards oneself.
And this might be a place where you stay with the practice for quite some time.
And noticing on yourself,
Sometimes feelings of not deserving it arise.
Or some sense of numbing,
Shutting down.
As best we can,
We become aware of these barriers that arise within ourselves.
We notice them.
And we even hold that with a sense of kindness,
Tenderness.
Without the awareness,
These barriers remain in the dark,
And there's little to no chance of dissolving them.
But once we can welcome a barrier,
An obstacle,
And we see it,
And we don't fight it,
We simply acknowledge that it's here.
And as best we can,
Come back to these affirmations.
May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be well,
Peaceful,
And at ease,
Safe and protected.
Loved and connected.
May I be happy.
And when you're ready,
You can shift to someone in your life who's easy to love.
Again,
It might be a pet.
Maybe it's someone you know who's going through a challenge that you would like to support them.
And see them in your mind's eye,
If you can,
As clearly as you can,
Looking deeply at this one and wishing for them these very same aspirations.
May you be filled with loving kindness.
May you be well,
Peaceful and at ease,
Safe and protected,
Loved and connected.
May you be happy.
And if it feels authentic for you,
You might see them smiling or surrounded in light.
Sometimes when you practice,
Barriers arise here even.
Their little annoyances could arise,
Little personality quirks or conflicts can come to mind.
And again,
Notice them.
Don't fight them.
Don't insist that they be different.
And you come back to this feeling of wishing them well.
And then when you feel ready,
Widen that circle a little more to include your closest friends and family.
And you might see them in a snapshot in front of you all together.
And don't get obsessive about not leaving anyone out.
Whoever's there will do.
Look deeply at these ones that are close to you and direct this tenderness in their direction,
This desire for them to experience not just a superficial happiness,
But a deep,
Deep sense of loving kindness and well-being.
And repeat,
May you all be filled with loving kindness.
May you be well,
Peaceful and at ease,
Safe and protected,
Loved and connected.
May you be happy.
And then when you feel ready,
Bring your awareness to a neutral person.
Call to mind someone who you don't really have strong feelings for one way or the other.
It might be somebody you get coffee from or someone you pass in the halls at work and you don't even know their name.
Bring this person to mind and direct the very same aspirations to them.
As best you can,
See them in your mind's eye and as sincerely as you can.
May you be filled with loving kindness.
May you be well,
Peaceful and at ease,
Safe and protected,
Loved and connected.
May you be happy.
It may be challenging to look deeply or find some sincerity in sending aspirations to someone you really don't know.
But the next time that you cross paths with them,
You might silently to yourself repeat these aspirations and just notice what happens.
As possible,
This person becomes a little bit more real to you.
The sense of separation might diminish a little bit.
And then the request is to bring to mind someone who's difficult for you,
A thorn in your side.
And it's not recommended that you start with the most difficult person,
Not someone who's been particularly cruel,
Someone who evokes feelings of strong anger or tension.
The suggestion is to start just with the light stuffer,
Somebody who irritates you a little bit,
The neighbor who doesn't take down their Christmas lights fast enough,
Somebody who didn't park very well in the parking lot today.
Start with the light stuff until you develop some trust in the practice,
In the process,
Until you have a certain foundation underneath you before you start to move into the heavy stuff.
In our world,
We like to get in and get out,
Start with the hard stuff.
But these practices are better done gently.
And at first,
It may feel like you're just faking it.
And that's okay.
You can do it skillfully.
So,
Whosoever popped into your head at this point will do.
And see them as well as you can in your mind's eye.
And with as much sincerity as is here today,
Send them these very same aspirations.
May you be filled with love and kindness.
May you be well,
Peaceful and at ease,
Safe and protected,
Loved and connected.
May you be happy.
And allow an awareness within yourself of whatever arises as you repeat these aspirations.
You might feel resistance,
A shutting down,
A turning away,
A remembering of things that they've done.
If you really get stuck here,
You might hold this in loving kindness,
Direct the loving kindness back to yourself.
Even greater compassion for yourself.
Or you might feel a little opening of the heart,
A little kindness towards this one.
Sometimes it helps to see them as a child.
Know that that place of innocence,
Of basic goodness resides somewhere in them.
Sometimes there's a great opening of the heart,
A recognition that this person is doing the best they can.
That this person also wants to be happy.
That this person also experiences fear or suffering.
Whatever arises in you,
You meet it as best you can,
You welcome it.
And then we expand this practice out to all people,
All creatures.
May all beings be filled with loving kindness.
May all be well.
May all be peaceful and at ease,
Safe and protected,
Loved and connected.
May all beings be happy.
And may you remember these aspirations throughout the day and direct them in ways that nourish and nurture you.
And feel free to sit now in silence for as long as it serves you.
