Self-Love For Perfectionists - by Laurasia Mattingly

COURSE

Self-Love For Perfectionists

With Laurasia Mattingly

If you’re a perfectionist this course is for you. As a recovering perfectionist, what I’ve learned is that we are so hard on ourselves. We have a story about the need to be “perfect.” In this course we will discover what our perfectionist story is, re-write that story, and learn to find the beauty in our very human imperfections. After this course, you will learrn to love yourself unconditionally, and learn to let go of the need to be “perfect” which ultimately holds us back from peace, ease, and unconditional love. Each day will include a lecture, journal prompts, and end with a meditation practice.

LoveRelationshipsStressStress & AnxietyUnconditional Love MeditationVisualizationSelf-CompassionAcceptanceHealth & HappinessHappinessSecularMotivationPerformanceSecular MindfulnessMindfulness

Meet your Teacher

Laurasia Mattingly
Los Angeles, CA, USA

Laurasia Mattingly is a certified meditation and mindfulness (400hr) instructor, author and speaker. After experiencing debilitating anxiety as a teen and depression after the loss of her mother, she found mindfulness and meditation it helped her transform her life. Laurasia is the founder of her own virtual meditation platform The Sit Society. She shares her practice internationally on retreats, with companies and corporations like Nike, Soho House, Lululemon, and Moët and Chandon to name a few. She is the author of two meditation books and featured as a meditation expert in publications such as Good Housekeeping, Well + Good, The Today Show, Health Magazine, and Self Magazine.

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6 Days

2.1k students

4.5 stars

11 min / day

Love

English

Lesson 1

Identifying Our “Perfectionist” Narrative

We all have a story about why we need to be “perfect.” For some of us, it may have been pressure from a family member, or perhaps it was a pressure we put on ourselves. In this session, we will identify what our story is, and how it's affected our lives, more specifically how it's taken awareness from our happiness and how this story has held us back. We will also try to become more aware of our tendencies. Once we become aware, we have the power to overcome our perfectionist tendencies. We will conclude with a meditation on loosening our grip around the need to be perfect.

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Lesson 2

Meeting Our Story With Kindness & Rewriting Our Narrative

As we have discovered we all have a story as to why we have the need to be perfect. We will learn how meeting our story with kindness is the pathway to freedom. We will learn that our perfectionist stories, more often than not, were never our fault. Now that we’ve identified our perfectionist story and where it comes from, the next step is to infuse kindness (There is a mindfulness equation that says pain + resistance = suffering while pain + love = transformation). Now that we’ve met our stories with kindness, it’s time to let go of the perfectionist story that’s been holding you back. We will re-write our stories and realize that we have the power to see life and ourselves with a fresh perspective and new eyes if that's what we choose to do. We can be the way we are because of the past and have the power to change how we look at ourselves by being more compassionate and kind to ourselves in the present and future. Typically, our perfectionist tendencies stem from the mind's need to fixate on the negative. We can begin to re-write that story by focusing on the positive. We will discuss, journal, and finally end with a practice seeing our story with fresh eyes and re-writing it by noticing the positive.

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Lesson 3

Accepting What It Is To Be Human

We will begin to see ourselves for our true human nature - beautiful and imperfect beings. We will learn to adopt a new outlook on achieving our goals - progress, not perfection. We will discuss, journal, and meditate on the fact that we are changing beings and that life is constantly changing, so taking a more kind, fluid, and compassionate approach is more realistic than our previous perfectionist approach. We will then begin to understand that mistakes are a very natural part of this human experience, and to not be so hard on ourselves when we do make a mistake.

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Lesson 4

Setting More Reasonable Goals, Receiving Criticism, & Increasing Compassion

As perfectionists, we tend to set unrealistic goals for ourselves - we tend to expect ourselves to show up perfectly on the first try. A way to work with this is to start setting more realistic goals. Progress, not perfection! Setting realistic and reasonable goals will leave us feeling more confident and able to achieve our goals. As humans, we tend to take things personally, and that includes criticism. When we take things personally, we are unable to separate the feedback from our own personal worth. We must cultivate and understand that criticism isn’t personal, and actually allow for room for growth. Let us learn to reframe criticism first by evaluating if what is being said is in fact true, and then if it is, how can we use this information. As perfectionists, we typically are the ones putting the most pressure on ourselves, no one else. What’s needed is to practice kindness towards ourselves, to practice self-compassion, and to practice self-acceptance. We can lower our unrealistic standards and still stay motivated and do our best. Realizing there is no “perfect” but can applaud ourselves for doing our best.

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Lesson 5

Focus On Meaning Rather Than Perfection & Incorporate Gratitude

Rather than focusing on trying to do something perfectly, shift your attention to the intention behind what you are doing and its meaning. If it brings us joy, and it’s for the greater good, it doesn’t matter if it’s perfect. If there is intention and meaning, then we can find fulfillment along the way. The mind can easily get conditioned to look for flaws. One way to shift this is by resting in gratitude for what we already have, what we’ve already achieved, and how much we’ve learned along the way. We train the mind to actively look for what’s going well in our lives, rather than things that have gone poorly. Research backs that gratitude can help undo negative thought patterns ( common amongst perfectionists), lower levels of depression, and increase positivity and happiness.

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Lesson 6

Seeing The Beauty In Our Imperfections

On our final day, we will look at all beauties in our imperfections, how they’ve shaped us, and made us who we are today. We are each a special, unique, human being with our own unique journeys, let us celebrate this. Just as there are no two same snowflakes or two same fingerprints, there is no one like us. That is what is so beautiful about this being human. Rather than striving for a "perfect" version of ourselves, we learn to soften into our imperfections. We realize it's what makes us US! Perhaps, we might have viewed some of our personality traits as flaws or bumps and setbacks on our journey as failures, but they are just parts of life that have shaped us into who we are in this exact moment. We close the course by celebrating our humanness, our flaws, the beauty of making mistakes, and all we’ve learned about ourselves along the way. We will discuss, journal, and closeout on a practice tapping into the gratitude for who we’ve become due to our imperfections.

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4.5 (58)

Recent Reviews

Phoenix

June 29, 2024

The pacing of course felt too fast for me, but I found the journal prompts and reflections really helpful.

Lilian

May 13, 2024

A gentle journey towards letting go of our perfectionism or at least being more compassionate with ourselves when we make mistakes. One request, please: at times, the audio level changes, and I had to readjust my own audio level. Perhaps wrote down at which audio level you want to record at, and then stick to that every time? Thanks for sharing your own story and congrats on this course!

Richie

September 17, 2023

Such a beautiful Journey thank you so much this has been a great experience and you deliver this so eloquently. Thank you thank you thank you.

Bill

August 6, 2023

Thanks 😊

Donna

July 9, 2023

Good content, could have addressed a bit more about the nature and roots of perfectionism. A nice overview though and a good start for those taking on the task of blunting the negative effects of perfectionism on the simplicity and joys of life. Thank you!

Josefina

July 8, 2023

Insightful ! Thank you 🙏

Becky

June 10, 2023

This was a really beautiful course, and try your best to make it personal and relevant for you, your healing will be tremendous. Namaste!

Alicia

May 20, 2023

Some audios had several prompts together, cut and pasted, with no transitions. Seemed like it was a mistake? But like 3 of them where like that

Angela

May 20, 2023

Angela

May 13, 2023

Lovely class - it helped me view myself in a different way. Thank you.

Laurel

May 11, 2023

Right time!

Steve

May 8, 2023

Great content! I was frustrated at times because the recording was SO quiet that I couldn't understand (even at full volume).

Oleksii

December 15, 2022

Thank you

Cassidy

October 15, 2022

What a beautiful 6 days! Thank you Laurasia for the softness you brought to each of my days! 🤍💫🪷

Becky

June 18, 2022

Thank you!

Yasmin

May 7, 2022

Opens up a kind and compassionate way of addressing the “problem” of perfectionism.

Mariam

March 16, 2022

I really enjoyed the content of this course. It was exactly what I needed to remember. My only wish is that some of the lessons with multiple journal prompts were broken up into individual classes. That would allow the meditation practices to be a bit longer. Overall though, a great course.

Steve

March 16, 2022

Laurasia Mattingly is incredibly talented and generous for sharing so many things from her own experience to help others on their own journey. Thank you for sharing

Marla

March 7, 2022

LIFE CHANGING!

Faisal

March 4, 2022

I’ve discovered a lot about myself. I enjoyed the journal prompts and the meditations. I will visit the journal prompts and meditations from time to time. Thank you.

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