Hi there,
I'm so glad you're here.
We're gonna do some forgiveness work.
Today.
And For this meditation,
We're going to focus on.
.
.
Forgiveness for someone who you're feeling.
Difficult feelings towards,
Whether it's anger,
Or just being upset,
Or hurt.
By them or any other emotion that it may be for you.
I want to emphasize that we're doing forgiveness work as a practice and an exploration.
There is no necessity to forgive anyone.
There's also no necessity for this practice that the person asks you forgiveness.
This is a practice for our own well-being.
I'm looking forward to practicing this with you,
As there's someone on my mind who I'm going to see at a family gathering that I'm feeling sad and upset about.
And I'm not sure how aware they are of the hurt that I feel in response to something.
To some interactions that we had.
But I would like to do a forgiveness meditation.
In order to process it for myself and to see if I feel a possibility of releasing any expectations I have.
Of that person's behavior.
So the intention of this practice is that it be a healing.
For you and for me.
Whether or not we feel ready to forgive another person,
Whether or not we in the end choose to forgive,
But to allow space to explore the possibility of releasing difficult feelings regarding another person's behavior.
The origin of the word forgive.
The beginning of the word is far,
Or away,
And then the word give has the same meaning that we think of it.
Today.
And so it is.
Very close to the idea of letting go.
To let it go far away.
So,
Finding a comfortable position.
I'm sitting in a chair right now,
Putting my feet on the floor.
My arms on the armrest.
Perhaps you are seated on a meditation cushion.
Or lying down,
Whatever position feels good to you.
Take a moment to allow your body to be comfortable.
And a position with some alertness,
Some uprightness in the body can be good.
But listening to yourself about what feels right to you right now.
Connecting to sensation of the breath.
In-breath and out-breath.
With no need to change the pace or the depth of the breath.
Simply witnessing.
In-breath and out-breath.
Allowing that flow that always accompanies us,
The flow of the breath that is always there with us.
It's a good beginning.
For any meditation,
And especially for this forgiveness meditation,
Where we'll begin by just noticing what is,
With no need to change it.
And first,
Before we go there,
Let's connect to the body.
Noticing the body sensations.
That are present for you right now.
Perhaps.
The sensation of your hips and legs on whatever is supporting them.
Your arms on whatever they are resting upon.
Perhaps the air.
The gentle touch of the air on your skin.
And with every out-breath.
Seeing if you'd like to,
Seeing if it flows for you to allow the body to sink.
Just a little more into the support.
Of the furniture.
That you are seated or lying upon.
Or of the cushion.
And even more into the floor that is supporting you.
Whether directly or that it's supporting the piece of furniture that you're on.
The floor is supporting you right now.
The building is supporting you.
Allowing yourself to rest in the support of the earth.
The whole Earth is supporting you right now.
As we look at the possibility of releasing.
Of being with and release.
So taking a few moments just to be.
Noticing breath and body.
Being with ourselves in that way as a preparation for the inner work.
Will embark upon.
Just noticing whatever is there with the sensations of the breath.
And the sensations in the body as a whole.
And also thoughts and feelings.
Or the inner experience of this moment.
Just notice it.
You may want to put a hand on your heart and your belly.
Or anywhere on your body that feels comforting and connecting to the body.
If there's any physical pain in the body,
Just noticing that as well.
With a gentle curiosity about those sensations.
No need to alter your experience at this moment.
And call to mind a person.
Who you're upset with.
Perhaps angry.
Perhaps hurt.
Perhaps resentment or judgment.
And we'll begin with allowing that emotion.
It's very difficult to forgive.
When we are so consumed with moving the difficult emotions of non-forgiveness aside.
So just noticing now,
Perhaps calling forth an image of that person.
Or any way that it feels right for you to connect with the person you'd like to explore.
Perhaps releasing some part of emotion.
Of difficult emotion that you're feeling towards them.
Please pick something that is manageable for you,
That feels approachable in this context of doing a meditation with someone who is not with you.
If at any time during this meditation you feel yourself to be too overwhelmed,
Overwhelmed with emotion,
Or with difficulty,
Then open your eyes,
Notice the present surroundings that you're in.
Notice that right now everything is okay.
Reconnect to that.
Okayness of reality at this moment,
In this place.
If you're ready and when you're ready,
Close your eyes again and pick something that feels simple to approach.
Doable.
So connecting again to that person.
Seeing what feelings arise for you.
As you are internally gazing on that person's face or bringing them into your attention.
Perhaps there's hurt.
Noticing the body sensation of whatever emotion arises.
The hurt they feel.
Like a warmth or a heaviness in the chest.
Or a sensation around the throat,
Behind the eyes,
Or the belly.
There is,
Of course,
No one right way that you will sense any given emotion,
But rather curiosity.
How do I know I'm sensing this emotion?
Where is it in my body?
Where are the sensations in my body right now?
Whether it's anger,
Resentment,
Hurt,
Or any other emotion.
That arises when you bring this person to mind.
And now take a moment and give some words to that difficult feeling.
Because we're going to begin with creating space for what we feel right now,
Going into this process of perhaps forgiving.
Can't forgive without giving space to what there is to forgive.
I'm bringing a gentle curiosity.
One way to approach this question is to ask yourself,
If I could say anything I wanted to this person,
Speaking from my heart,
Knowing that it would be okay to say it.
What would I say?
For me,
The words that are arising are,
I feel that you don't care for me at all.
Sometimes,
Though,
It can be much sharper words than that.
How could you do that?
Don't you love me?
And sharper than that.
The words that come up in your mind may contain profanities.
That's present too.
Allowing those words to be there in your mind as an expression of what you feel.
We're not planning on saying those words to the person.
We're just giving space to your experience now.
As you face this person in your thoughts.
How could you not care for me at all?
How could you behave that way?
That's not OK.
Whatever the words are for you.
So take a moment to be with that.
And if it gets overwhelming… You can,
As I said before,
It's important.
To take care of yourself,
And if it feels too much,
Open your eyes.
Connect to the room.
And if and when you're ready,
Close your eyes and perhaps pick something else.
Or connecting again to body and breaths.
You can perhaps go back and forth between being present to your experience towards this person and back to the benign,
The good,
The neutral,
The pleasant reality of body and breath.
I don't want to have anything to do with you.
" Perhaps those are words that come up for you as they're coming up for me at this moment.
Those words are not a decision.
They're a thought and a feeling in this moment.
It's safe to allow your thoughts and feelings.
They don't have to determine your behavior.
Get away from me.
I'm furious at you.
Any words that come up.
Continuing to imagine gazing at that person's face or calling them to your attention in any way that feels possible and right for you.
Gazing at that person's face and picking one line that expresses your emotion.
To imagine that you're saying to them right now.
For me,
The words that are most resonating.
With some grief and some sadness are,
I've given up on you.
And I'm gazing at this person's face.
Just imagining those words spoken to this person.
And seeing if,
When you say those words,
There's any other experience that comes in.
It could be that saying those words and allowing them shifts your experience,
Or or perhaps creates room for an additional experience alongside the difficult feeling,
The first difficult feeling in these first words.
And for me,
When I say those words to this person in my mind,
What comes up is.
.
.
I want you to care about me.
And very quickly there's also,
But that feels impossible.
So perhaps I wonder for you too,
Is there an additional experience that doesn't necessarily replace or erase the first experience of difficult or blaming or angry emotion towards the other person,
But allowing full expression inside of that sometimes lets us notice something else as well.
Just noticing if that is true for you as you call this person into your attention.
Gazing at their face as you say.
As you speak your truth.
It could be also even a loving experience that arises.
Lives alongside the angry or hurt feelings.
For me,
There's a sense of,
You're beautiful.
As I look at this person in my mind.
Just noticing any thoughts,
Any emotion that is there.
Now that we've given some space to our present,
Feelings and thoughts towards the person who has hurt us.
We're gonna explore the possibility of release.
With no obligation.
With no expectation that you must forgive or you must release.
That does not work.
It's not necessary,
And it is not caring for yourself.
And if it feels right to you.
To continue looking at this person's face.
And perhaps choosing one or two sentences that have come through your mind to reconnect to as you're gazing at this person.
Ask yourself.
What made it feel like to be free?
Of wanting this person to be different than they are,
Or than they were.
Notice any body sensations that arise as you consider this.
Possibility.
What might it feel like to allow this person to be the separate individual that they are.
With their own choice.
With their own difficulties.
With their own mistakes.
And their own priorities.
What might it feel like to allow that?
You may imagine yourself.
In a sense,
Moving back a step from the person,
And allowing more distance between you.
As you continue to gaze upon them.
Seeing perhaps,
In a way,
A bigger picture of the person.
Beyond what they did that was hurtful to you.
Or seeing more space in your own life.
It is filled with so much besides how that person hurt you.
You may want to experiment with speaking words in your mind,
Such as.
.
.
I release you.
I release you from my need that you act in a specific way.
I release you from any grudge.
Or burden of feelings that I am holding you in.
I release you from being a source of pain for me.
Perhaps imagining.
The image of the other person.
Even floating up and away out of the sphere of your attention.
Noticing how any of this feels in the body.
I release you.
From playing this part in my inner experience.
So you see,
None of this is necessarily forgiving the actual deed that was done.
It may or may not be.
It's a floating away.
Allowing the heaviness of how we're holding this person or the deed that they did.
In our experience.
Allowing that to dissipate,
Allowing it to lighten,
And perhaps even just completely float away,
Evaporating into the air.
This is not at all necessarily about distancing from the person in your life.
It may be,
Or it may not be.
It's about releasing the heaviness that they are for you.
Releasing that from your experience.
And noticing now,
How does it feel when you call that person's image to your mind again,
The image of their face?
It may feel more neutral.
It may feel more loving.
It may feel exactly the same as it did before.
And this is just a practice of noticing.
And as we approach the ending of this meditation,
Let's take a moment.
For love and kindness towards ourselves.
Expressing appreciation for you.
That you've embarked upon this process.
That your intention is to explore forgiveness and see if it is possible for you.
And that is a lovely intention.
Appreciating yourself for that.
And offering yourself love and gratitude.
And taking another moment.
To send an intention and a wish.
For all the people.
That are participating in this meditation,
In whatever time frame that is.
That it may be a blessing.
That it may be a worm.
And comforting part of your journey in relationship with yourself and with others.
Thank you for being here.
I'm wishing you well.
