Hello,
Welcome.
My name is Lew Redman.
Thank you so much for practicing with me today.
I want to give a brief intro and inspiration to this practice which is about allowing yourself to feel your wanting.
To notice the places that you cut off or hide because you fear judgment,
You fear being seen.
You might feel like you're not supposed to have wants,
Especially if you are on a spiritual path or maybe you have a Buddhist background where it's all about releasing desire that can often get put in the shadows.
And so today is not about manifesting what you want or getting your dreams.
It's simply allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to want what we want.
And to highlight this,
My vulnerable share is that I want to be famous.
I've always felt this.
I've always had an inclination towards not necessarily fame like a reality TV star,
But fame for my work.
I see myself impacting millions of people.
I have the dream of being on Oprah's couch because for me,
Attention has always been validation.
I was one of those kids who needed my parents to watch me do everything.
And I get there are some wounds in this,
And this is not about exploring those wounds necessarily.
I'm not saying that all of our wants come from the most whole place.
What I'm saying is that we have natural inclinations towards certain things.
And if we cannot judge it,
Because when I say I want to be famous,
I promise you I am judging the heck out of it.
When we let ourselves want what we want without judgment,
We open to a wider experience.
Because what can often happen is when I see myself wanting to be famous,
I either cut it off because I'm not supposed to want this thing because I know it's not going to make me happy.
I know it actually might make me depressed.
Like I understand this intellectually.
And so I cut it off.
Or I might take action toward it.
I might be like,
Well,
Okay,
I want this thing.
What do I create?
Do I create a meditation?
Do I create a video?
Do I post it here?
Then I got to,
You know,
I got to do something about it.
And your wants and wanting your wants are really not about doing anything about it.
They're about feeling all about it.
So that's what we're going to do in today's practice.
The other piece here that we're going to practice is naming your wants in relationship.
This can be so vulnerable to speak our truth,
To speak a want when it involves someone else.
And so we'll set that up as we move through today's practice.
But let's go ahead and get into it.
And so go ahead and come into your body.
Close your eyes if you haven't.
Relax your shoulders.
Relax the lower jaw from the upper jaw.
Let a few big beautiful breaths allow you to slow down and settle in.
And as you breathe and slow down,
And see if you can welcome everything that is here.
Welcoming our wants is just like welcoming our experience.
We notice any tension,
Tightness,
Emotions,
Thoughts.
And in a meditation,
We accept them.
We say,
Yeah,
This too can be here.
There's nothing to fix.
There's no need to change.
Nothing to manage.
And so welcome whatever experience finds you right now.
And breathe into that welcoming.
The practice of naming and claiming our wants is connected to our throat.
So bring some loving attention to your throat.
Notice the energy,
The sensation.
Notice if it feels open,
Scratchy,
Or closed.
And to work with bringing some energy and some openness into your throat,
The invitation is to do a few gentle hums.
Feeling the vibration happening in your throat center.
So taking an inhale.
Again.
And do a few more on your own.
Really feeling the energy moving from your throat.
You might even feel it moving down,
But keep it moving.
Keeping it centered in your throat.
And then letting go of the humming.
Notice the impact on your throat.
And then just being with a natural rhythm of breath.
The first part of this practice is about being vulnerable with yourself.
Vulnerability is any time we might be rejected.
And when we have something we want,
It's easy to reject ourselves.
And often that's in fear that if others knew we wanted it,
They would judge.
And so the three false idols are rich places to look for our unfelt wants.
They are money,
Power,
Fame.
They're called false idols because many people unconsciously seek them out for their fulfillment.
But we already know that they're not going to fulfill us.
And so we can bring consciousness to a want for them.
And if you have a want that involves them,
See if you can name it and open to it right now.
Maybe you want to be a famous author like me.
Maybe you want to be president of your company.
Maybe you want to make tens of millions of dollars.
Being vulnerable with yourself,
If no one would judge you for it,
What would you let yourself want?
See if you can allow the vision of it to come to mind.
But this practice is not about manifesting it.
It's not about getting what you want.
It's just a practice of wanting it.
And so as you see it,
As you feel the want for this thing,
Notice where it's living in your body.
Notice if there's any aversion or aversion to it.
Or attachment.
There might be a part that's judging,
And that can be here too.
Just notice it.
There might be like a,
Oh yeah,
Let's do something about it.
And that's welcome here too.
But the invitation is really to be behind both of those inclinations.
To witness it all.
And to let the wanting grow.
To feel the wanting like you would feel sadness coming up.
And you notice tears might start coming,
And it takes its emotional wave.
And at some point,
The wave is over.
So I'm going to give you a couple minutes here to feel the power of your want for whatever this thing is.
And really breathing,
Letting the wanting grow.
Opening to it.
And again,
Notice if aversion or attachment is present.
And see if you can just stay in feeling the want.
And then let's take a breath together.
And letting that go.
And we're going to do one last piece here of exploring your wants.
This time in relationship.
So think of something you want that involves someone else.
Whether it be friends,
Family,
Colleagues,
Or co-workers.
Maybe it's something unnamed,
Something new that might emerge right now.
And maybe it's somewhere that you've been harboring resentment,
But just haven't had the courage to speak to it.
Maybe it's,
I want more space in this relationship.
I want credit for the work I put into this project.
I want you to call me to see how I'm doing,
Not just when you need something.
So take a moment,
Think of what is your want and whom do you want it with or for.
Notice how that want feels different from the want we just explored.
There might be more tension.
There might be more fear because it involves someone else.
It might be less dreamy,
Like,
You know,
The want for a dream.
Still see if you can feel this wanting.
And imagine that this person that this involves walks in front of you.
And feel yourself sitting or standing in your strength.
Look them in the eye.
Notice how your body reacts to seeing them.
See if you can breathe and stay grounded,
Stay open.
And it's important here that we're not blaming or judging the other person,
That this is about speaking your truth without any sort of blame.
So from your heart,
Name what it is you want in this context.
And notice as you set it,
If you have attachment to something changing.
And see if you can try again,
Speaking your want without attachment.
Now,
I will say that if it's something that you can change,
A boundary that you can set,
Then that's different.
That's you making it clear of what's going to happen going forward,
But still being unattached to how they might react.
Or what they need to do.
And so if you have any attachment to how the other person needs to act,
See if you can name your want again,
Letting go of that.
So notice what it's like to speak your truth.
To feel your wanting and for letting it be heard and known.
Go ahead and invitation,
If it feels good,
To put a hand over your heart,
Honoring yourself for being vulnerable,
Both with yourself and with this person.
And let's take one last breath together.
Letting it go.
And whenever you're ready,
Gently opening your eyes,
Coming back.
I thank you for leaning in,
Exploring this practice.
So curious what came up for you.
Feel free to leave a comment and let me and everyone else know.
And extra credit if that person that you brought in,
If there's something that needs to be said,
Go into your day,
Make the space,
Lean into that fear and discomfort that's going to come and name your want.
See the power that can happen when you do this.
And of course,
As the other wanting comes up,
Can you really see it as an emotion?
Can you let it take its course?
Feel it and see what unfolds as you do.
All right.
Thank you again so much.
I look forward to speaking or practicing with you again very soon.
Take care.
