Stop Caring About What Others Think

This insightful meditation will help you take back your personal power and let go of the need for other people's validation. Lou will allow the space to heal blockage that may be present, and guide you into a place of deep love and appreciation for yourself.

Transcript

Just a quick note before we begin.

This practice was inspired when I was on a day retreat,

A silent retreat.

And I was sitting there eating lunch or not eating lunch actually.

And I was just realizing that so many of my thoughts are wondering,

What are other people thinking of me?

What are they thinking of me not eating lunch right now?

And then I realized how all my life really that question is so prominent.

What are others thinking of me right now?

And I realized that meditation is really a place that we can come to forget about that and realize that we have the power and the control only over what we think of ourselves.

So with that,

Let's begin.

Let's get a comfortable seat.

So finding your chair,

Finding your cushion,

Finding your space.

So doing all the little movements and last itches before we settle in.

Begin to release the body weight.

It might feel good for this practice to roll the shoulders back a couple times and then we roll them forward.

It's loosening up our bodies.

Widen across the chest.

Soften the skin of the face.

And see if you can feel like you've softened the skin of the entire body.

It's almost like a release as we begin to soften down,

Softening our hearts,

Our jaw,

Our belly.

And let's begin to really find our connection with the ground.

Connecting our tailbone to our seat.

Connecting our hands to where they find themselves rested,

Either in the thighs or between your lap.

Maybe they're by your side.

And let's just do a quick scan of the body,

Noticing if there are any parts that might feel a little tight,

Still feel like they're holding.

And as we invite the awareness into our breath,

Seeing if we can use our breath to release any last parts of our body that might be holding some tension.

Allowing the inhale to fill your body with more space,

More openness.

And letting the exhale release and relax and soften every part of you further into your space.

And let's just take a few moments just to follow our breath in and out.

Very simple,

Core of our practice,

Just following the rise and the fall.

Just a couple breaths here.

And maybe just for a moment,

Just practice noticing just the out-breaths.

So it's as if the in-breath comes in,

And we just notice when the breath leaves our body.

It's our nose,

Our belly contracts,

Whatever focus that you'd like to focus on.

Just a couple more.

And let's take a breath in and out.

We care so much about what others think of us.

We look for validation from others all the time.

We give away our power to others thinking that they for some reason have more judgment into our lives.

What they say has more power than what we say.

That they can actually override the things that we think of ourselves.

And in our meditation practice,

We learn to remember that that is not true.

We shift that need for validation and other people's approval to understanding that ultimately we are the ones that get to choose.

You have the power right here,

Right in this practice of being into the now.

So we're going to practice giving ourselves that validation that we deserve.

And we're going to start that by first offering ourselves some forgiveness.

Often there's a block in giving ourselves validation because of negative things that we might have done in our past.

Or negative thoughts that we sometimes have about other people or ourselves or just all of these weird thoughts that we can have on any day.

And this thought that we are not good people sometimes.

It can block ourselves from being true and giving ourselves the love and validation that we truly deserve.

So first,

Just seeing if you can forgive yourself either for a specific moment in your life that maybe you are hard on yourself for.

It might just be something simple like you had an argument where you said something to your child that you later regretted.

Or maybe you just offer yourself a general forgiveness for negative things that you've done in your past.

For things where you've been unrightly tough on yourself and you continue to be tough on yourself.

And if you can't think of any specifics,

Just a general forgiveness for any negativity that might have came up in your awareness or something that you might have done in your past.

Use the breath to release that out.

Because the fact that you are here is no,

It proves how wonderful of a human that you are.

That you are setting this time to practice for the benefit of yourself and you'll see that that in turn benefits so many people.

There's a song I've been listening to with this really beautiful lyric that says,

Forgiveness is the garment of our courage,

The power to make the peace that we long to know.

So once we've set our last thoughts of forgiveness,

We're going to bring back our power.

So each breath in,

Feel the power coming back into your body.

And with each breath out,

I'd like you to feel that rooting down into your seat.

So each breath in,

Taking the power into you.

And each breath out,

Rooting that power down,

Being strong in your own being.

Setting ourselves to give ourselves the love and validation that we deserve.

Just a couple more here.

And let's take a good breath in and let that out.

I'd like you now to imagine that you are leaving your body and there is a version of you sitting right in front of you,

Just as you are.

So you're actually staying in your body,

But you're looking at another version of you.

You're looking at you sitting in front of you,

Sitting just how you're sitting in the cross-legged or on a chair.

Just take a moment to see yourself in front of you.

Notice what you notice.

He or she is even wearing the same thing as you.

And we're going to give this person the support and the validation that we so often would save for others.

So I'd like you to,

In the mind's eye,

Look this person in the eye.

And you're welcome to repeat these silently,

You're welcome to repeat these out loud.

We're just going to go through a few words and affirmations to send to this person,

This other you in front of you.

You don't have to prove yourself to anyone.

Your presence in this world is enough.

I love you for who you are.

Your light shines brighter than you can see.

You are so loved.

You don't have to prove yourself to anyone.

Your presence in this world is enough.

I love you for who you are.

Your light shines brighter than you can see.

You are so loved.

You are so appreciated.

And I'd like you to acknowledge this person in front of you for something kind that they do.

Acknowledge this person for what they desire to give to the world in their heart of hearts,

What they're truly wanting.

And don't say,

I see you,

I feel you.

And let's take a deep breath in.

And let that go.

And we're going to go ahead and we're going to bring this person in front of us with all of that energy that we just created and gave.

I'd like you to feel that person moving back into your body and sitting with you in your spirit.

Feeling all of that love that you just gave out.

And now we're going to give that to ourselves.

And if you'd like,

You can place your hands covering your heart or one hand on your heart,

One hand on your belly.

That feels right for you or you can just leave your hands right where they are.

And repeat out loud or silently.

I don't have to prove myself to anyone.

My presence in this world is enough.

I love myself for who I am.

My light shines brighter and I can see.

I am so loved.

I don't have to prove myself to anyone.

My presence in this world is enough.

I love myself for who I am.

My light shines so much brighter than my eyes can see.

I am so loved.

I am so supported.

I am so appreciated.

Maybe find one of those that resonate strongly with you.

And repeat,

Giving yourselves that love.

Giving yourselves that validation that we so often feel like we need from others.

And we forget that we are our greatest source of love.

So give yourselves any last words,

Any last feelings,

Any last support.

And know that all of this attention that you put towards taking your power and giving yourselves what you need,

It is going to come back to you.

It is going to come back to you by how you perceive the world.

And in turn,

Will be less needy of other people perceiving you in a certain way.

Because in your heart of hearts,

You already know that you are already there.

You have it all.

So slowly begin to come back into your body.

Come back into your connection.

Maybe again roll out those shoulders.

And slowly,

As it feels right,

You can begin to open your eyes and start to come back into your world.

May you live this day and many others in that power and that love that you truly are.

It has been a blessing to be able to share this space with you.

Thank you.

Namaste.

Reviews

Deeply nourishing! Thank you for your comforting words. I got chills during the guided visualization to say “I love you” from Self to self. And I got chills again when I offered “I love you” after the reintegration of the Self and self.

Helpful, and just needed to hear that again. Thank you!

Excellent meditation, affirmations, and message. Thank you, Namaste
🙏🏽 ✨♥️

Thank you Lou. So much history to try and forgive myself for. To try and forget about the ego and pleasing everyone else around me when I should be trying to always be true to myself and The Universe.

Your guided meditations are always exactly what I need when things feel too hard

Came for the meditation (which felt like it flew by) but stayed for the major boost to the personal vibes. This guy is the best hype man. Pretty sure my self-estreem grew three sizes today.

Thanks for this great meditation. I used crystals during the meditation. They got warm. You said things that I needed to hear. Thank you!

Excellent. Thank you for the reminder at the beginning that often this wisdom comes to us when we are silent. 🤫

This was really helpful. I appreciate your guidance in this meditation. Thank you!! 🙏

Simple and engaging. Calmed my monkey mind looking for validation outside. Feeling more grounded. Thank you.

Great I’ve noticed recently a lot of the seeking validation from others and was really stung when I didn’t receive this is return of his has helped me see the truth

That was just great, thank you. Something in your voice and how you said things deeply resonated with me; i cried a little, happy tears, and feel very grounded and supported by myself now <3

Really needed this. Truly felt a sense of connection to my inner self. Thank you!

Thank you for reminding me of what I already new 🙏💫

🙏😌🪷So comforting. I feel like I just gave myself a much needed gentle hug . ☮️

What a wonderful and awesome exercise! This practice also aligns well with an Internal Family Systems approach to self-awareness and acceptance. Thanks so much for helping me start my day with an extra shot of compassion for self and others. 🙏

Thanks, Lou. This was very helpful.
I'm always second guessing myself, to see if I would be worthy of love or admiration in the moment. Especially when I'm alone, which is most of the time now. I know why, from my childhood, but still, it's deep. The concept of loving myself, of self-love, goes against the grain. I'm working on it, though I don't usually feel it. There's always something more I could or should be doing to deserve being good enough. It's subtle self-judgment and it's not rational because I know, intellectually at least, that I am a good, or good enough, person.

I really appreciated this mediataion. I am working on truly being kind and patient toward myself, and this was a great way to work towards that. 💚

Thank you, I have never felt this about myself. Going forward I will try to remember and repeat the affirmations that were presented. Peace & Light,
Peter 🙏🙏🙏

This meditation moved me. I wept, then sincerely smiled. I now feel grounded. Thank you for this gift of reminder. 🙏