Hello and welcome to 5 minutes in nature with me Liz Scott out on Dartmoor and I am enjoying the early rays of a morning sun as I walk up a steep hill.
I've just taken a pause so I can speak to you.
Either side of me are green tall ferns and I am walking a yellowy brown path of grass up the centre of them and I'm about to head up onto the moor and to go to one of my favourite spots and I might stop again then and have a chat with you.
But I'm here today talking about taking up space,
Finding your voice,
Being in the world.
And I'm on a journey myself about this.
So as I often say to you,
I don't have any particular answers or I'm not asking you to do anything in particular.
I'm sharing what's going on in my life with the invitation that you reflect and see how that resonates for you.
And that's very much what I'm doing today.
Yesterday I was in a meeting and in this meeting I made a comment and I found that I wasn't heard.
It was a meeting online and I wasn't heard but not only was I not heard I was misunderstood and then there was a discussion about what had been misunderstood.
So I felt sort of doubly,
In a way I felt a bit stupid really because I was like well no I didn't say that and it feels as though what's assumed I've said is now the point of a discussion topic which isn't so.
In those sorts of situations I I kind of withdraw.
I come back to myself.
I find a place of quiet.
I don't want to get triggered and go into my ego.
I don't want to sort of bite back or bounce back.
My habitual way of being is like,
Okay,
Just wait for a little bit and then see what emerges.
And I'm glad I did that because for me,
If I get lost in,
I call it red thinking,
Unsettled thinking,
And I kind of charge through,
Then that's not a way to hear or to find resolution.
If I get lost in red thinking and I charge through,
Often it just means everybody gets into their ego.
So I took this away,
This experience,
And this is often what I find is useful,
And I go,
Well,
What is there for me to learn in it?
And I had a brilliant conversation with my husband,
And I said,
Look,
I don't exactly know what I want to say,
But I just want to speak out loud,
And just tell me what you're hearing.
And he's very good at giving me some listening feedback and support.
And at the end of it,
As I was,
We had walked up onto the Dartmoor last night when I did that,
And then as I was walking back home,
I thought,
Do you know what?
I find that I am not taking up space in the world.
I am not finding my voice so that I am heard.
And it felt to me as though that meeting was a reminder that it's time to take up space in the world.
It's something I have been curious about and reflecting on for some time,
But there was a different energy behind it this time.
And I'm really curious to see what is going to happen.
I feel over the last few years I've been in a little bit of hibernation.
I've been very self-reflective,
Very internal looking,
Finding my way as I transition to become an older woman.
And what I'm experiencing right at the moment is like this period of,
I don't know,
Let's call it hibernation,
Where I've been looking inward.
It's shifting,
There's a different energy.
I feel as though I'm an animal that has been hibernating through the winter and there is some sunlight that has just touched my nose and I am waking up to the warmth and getting ready to come out of my burrow.
That's how it feels.
So today's reflection is about taking up space,
Being heard,
What that means.
I'm going to find out what it means for me,
But I'm curious,
What does that mean for you?
Does that resonate?
And I do want to make the distinction,
This isn't for me about being bolshie in the world or being opinionated or putting other people down.
This is about being rock solid in my space and holding that as I engage in the world.
That's what's really important for me.
It's not about hiding.
It's not about stepping backwards.
It's about stepping forward and stepping into my space.
Let me know your reflections on that for you.
Does that resonate stepping into your space?
And of course,
Don't forget to join me again tomorrow for another five minutes in nature.
