Training The Mind

The mind is a wild thing. The practice of training the mind or redirecting it is one of the most powerful practices we as humans can partake in. This is a talk about how I redirect my mind in moments of stress or fear. This is one normal humans way of practicing! I hope you enjoy!

Transcript

I'm Kimberly Johnson. I am your host and I am so grateful that each and every one of you are here Taking your precious time and spending their precious moments in life with me. Thank you so much I Have been thinking a lot about Redirecting our attention so This all kind of started by I sometimes Try and make music I do make music, You know, I'm very new to it So I'm not new to singing per se, But I'm very new to like actually making music and creating music and I was Reading a Buddhist book that I really love and one of the first lines of a chapter was don't let your mind follow moods and my The singer in me like literally just started going Don't let your mind follow moods You can't control where your mind goes. Don't let your mind follow moods You can't control where your mind goes. Don't let your mind follow moods You can't control where your mind goes And then it just kind of I Did that for a really long time and I added some beats on top of it and it's just you know It became kind of super fun. And then I I kind of became obsessed With that phrase. Hi kitten I kind of became obsessed with this phrase of don't let your mind follow moods. Well, It began to kind of permeate Everything of like don't let your mind just follow any train of thought and You know when we study the mind Honestly, If you've spent any time with your mind just Watching your mind or observing your mind or just even just living and breathing We all can like agree that the mind is kind of a wild beast It is Everywhere it goes everywhere. You'll be like thinking about Dinner that you had last night and how great it was and then the next thought is like oh man I have to do that proposal for work And then the next thought is why did that person at work say that thing to me? And then it you know, It's just like it literally is like a tennis court or you know How it is very famously described as like, You know a monkey jumping from limb to limb to limb to limb The mind is just kind of like monkey mind It's like everywhere and often it doesn't even make sense. Like if you actually pay attention to it There's no like rhyme or reason that the mind kind of hops from one thing to another there probably is deep within our psyche if we actually Sat long enough and observed But For the most part it seems pretty random and so I've been like kind of Contemplating this this thing of like don't let your mind follow moods that has like began This whole contemplation of don't let your mind follow anything know where your mind is at at each time at each moment and You know Bring yourself back to the reality of this moment that this is going to change and evolve with time And I've been really getting practice with this at my current job I Have one of my best friends. I just so I just moved and one of my best friends lives here and Her and I have been spending a lot of time together and something that I'm noticing And I noticed this with myself and I noticed this with my partner I noticed this with like all the people that I'm close to is that having confidence is really challenging Having kind of Consistent confidence. It's like the mind it kind of does these things where it it loves to kind of harp on or Continue to ruminate on Negative things The things that we think that we're doing wrong the things that we think we are not good at the things that We said that we didn't mean to say the ways that we acted that weren't skillful, Right? It's just like they kind of just like go around and around and around in our brain and Often I think that the brain does this as a way to protect itself like okay if I like think about this enough I'm gonna change my behavior But often it's kind of in psychology is it can be often called the vicious cycle where actually it Creates the same negative behavior again. So if you actually harp on or Continuously think about something negative that you did or something negative going on that actually That it actually creates more negativity in your brain and more negativity in your emotions Which then has you act out more negatively or see the world more negatively and it kind of creates this like vicious cycle and so what I've been noticing is how important it is to be able to redirect your attention and To be able to do it in a split second without Following The mental the mind games So, You know the don't let your mind follow moods. Okay. Well, I have moods I'm I am like I would probably say that I'm like I don't know if there was a scale of moodiness like I definitely live like in the middle or more on the moody side and I Have always been this way, You know, I've always felt intensely and that Feeling intensely also creates the changing of my moods so like somebody can say something to me and I feel it and then it can change my mood to where I begin questioning myself or I feel bad about myself Or I feel bad about that person or I worry about what that person was thinking and I can I can often have these kind of mood swings and then something really positive will happen and I'll have like a burst of like excitement and happiness and then I'll have like A low period of the day, Right? Like I kind of can have this like swinging effect and imagine What it would be like as me. This is how I was in my early 20s if I just followed all of those moods So if somebody said something to me and maybe it was like I don't know sarcastic or something and it kind of hurt my feelings and Then I got in my head and I just cycled it through like why they say that like what do they mean by that? Like what are they trying to tell me like am I a bad person blah blah blah blah like right like the cycle that is the natural tendency of the mind and If we follow that and we believe in that and we go down the rabbit hole of that It leads us to these dark places that are actually super hard to get out of They're really hard to get out of and it's very very important That you can redirect your mind the second that you notice yourself going down a rabbit hole So the rabbit hole could be the rabbit hole of a mood I'm all of a sudden frustrated and I'm going down the rabbit hole of that frustration, Right? It can also be a thought or a story going on in your head about yourself Like am I good at this job? Am I even doing good? It could be a thought train about another person Is that person mad at me? That's like one that I have all the time like is that person mad at me? Did I do something wrong is something wrong, Right? It's kind of a rabbit hole and What I have found is every time I go down the rabbit hole or I let myself go down the rabbit hole It's almost like letting a dam of water Go like shoot through that neuro pathway in your brain like every time you allow yourself and you don't catch yourself you know in the path of Following whatever Kind of negative mind state that has arisen and this can be a positive mind state too I want to say it's not just negative negative tends to affect us more, But I actually think positive really affects us as well I'll talk about that a little bit and you know later But if we let ourselves go down these rabbit holes, Then we're actually digging ourselves deeper into the trench of that patterning So if you have a pattern of questioning yourself or feeling like you're not good enough and every time you allow yourself to go down that long rabbit hole of thinking that you're not good enough and Worrying if you're gonna get fired from your job and worrying if you're doing everything correct like incorrectly or correctly. It's like You are allowing that ditch to get deeper and the deeper and deeper that ditch that ditch gets the more that you The more that you entertain those ideas the more that you Let yourself kind of ruminate in these thought patterns the deeper it gets in the harder The more we have to work to get ourselves out of them And so I've been thinking a lot about this because I can see my mind I think anytime we have change anytime there's a transition I can see my mind Really Like in probably habitually going down certain patterns and one of the main ones is like is somebody mad at me Did I do something like somebody will be in a mood? At work, And I will automatically think that it's because of me something I did. Are they mad at me and What I've been doing is I've been practicing redirection So, You know redirection in my opinion I think it's super healthy to have like a few places that you redirect your mind and for me One place I redirect my mind is my breath Why because it's always there. It's always with me. It doesn't matter where I'm at I always have the capability to redirect myself to my breathing So what I do is I give my mind a job I give my mind a healthy job instead of letting the mind do what it wants to do Which is like ruminate and go down crazy spirals That's what the brain wants to do the brain kind of likes drama because like the brain thinks that it's like its job is to figure everything out and keep you safe all the time and the truth is is that it Just can't do that. You can't figure out all the time if a person is mad at you like people are more complex than that if Something occurs. It's very rare that a person is like mad at you that that's what caused it It's like maybe Their spouse and them had a fight and then they came to work and somebody else said something and then what you said just also Compiled it right? It's like way more complex than the mind makes it out to be the mind is like, Oh no, They hate me and The mind does that for very good reason. It's trying to protect us. It's trying to have us understand Why the world is working the way it is. So if somebody is acting upset the mind Automatically is like oh it's because of me and what can I do to protect myself and that's like all Well, You know, It's fine That's what the brain does But if you don't know that that's what the brain is doing all the time Then you can just be swept up by any current that comes like I imagine the mind kind of like an ocean or you could imagine it like the sky and There are Storms that come in the sky right and they create big clouds that create darkness that create lightning they create Tornadoes they create whatever it is same with the ocean storms come to the ocean and they create huge waves They create currents they create Cycles they create, You know, It's just like all these things, You know hurricanes And so we have a few options we can know the mind which is to know that the mind has a tendency to kind of think negatively and to ponder on the negative for protection and know that it's not wrong or bad and We can also know that we can train the mind to be redirected to something that is more helpful So actually it is more helpful for us to Concentrate on our breath than it is for us to concentrate on whether our boss is mad at us and The reason that that is is because the breath is Just what's occurring in the present moment. You can actually observe it. It's real. It's tangible. You can feel it in the body It brings you back into your physical senses, Right? It's like what's happening right here right now I can like almost I can see it. I can sense it. It's here When the mind is going on these tangents, Nothing is actually occurring Often we're like worried about something that has happened in the past or we're worried about something that's happening in the future And you know as I've said on this podcast a million times When your mind is not in the present moment, But it's in the past or the future There is a ghost running your body. You are not actually embodied. You are not actually here right now in your life experience You're somewhere else The mind has taken you away and that's okay, That's what the mind does and When we're away we often miss the goodness in the things that are happening right now Pretty much all the time whenever I'm noticing like I'm noticing that I'm having some sort of you know Anxiety or physical experience that's like attached to my mind just going down these these rough roads And I choose to redirect my attention For the first few minutes of it it can feel pretty rough because my mind my mind wants to pull back To that thought pattern it wants to pull back to trying to figure it all out It wants to pull back to trying to be safe And so to get my mind to actually steady on the breath can sometimes be very challenging And so if it's challenging, You know, There's there are some other ways that I redirect my attention I Will go on a walk and I'll notice my feet I'll be like left right left right left, Right? I often will sing So I'll put on a song I love or I'll pick up my ukulele and play some music or even this phrase Which is you know part of why I'm bringing it to this podcast It's I want you to steal it go steal it If you notice your mind following moods, Or if you notice your mind following thoughts Or if you notice your mind following storylines that aren't helpful for you. You can just say Don't let your mind follow moods You can control where your mind goes Don't let your mind follow thoughts You can control where your mind goes Don't let your mind follow stories You can control where your mind goes Right, You can make it whatever you want. You can say whatever you want But it redirects your attention and I will sing that song all the time I will be actually in my car It's funny How quickly? Your mind can get frustrated while you're driving. I think driving is like such a good practice So I'll notice that somebody does something on the road I'm driving quite a bit with this new work that I'm doing and I'll notice that You know Somebody will do something driving and I just like my mood shifts. I'm like, What the heck is wrong with people, Right? And Right after I do it, I'm like don't let my mind follow moods. I can control where my mind goes Right And it just becomes like fun and playful Like the redirecting of the brain is meant to be helpful It's meant to help you focus on something that is more helpful like it is more helpful to be playful and jokey and light and humorous than it is to cling so tightly to this person did this wrong or This person is mad at me and I have to figure out why and you know Like none of that is even helpful. Even if the person is mad at you you doing that it's not gonna make them not mad at you What's gonna make them and help them not be mad at you is for you to keep your own mind, Right? For you to be calm and collected and and Reasonable so then that way if you do need to talk to someone if you need to say, Hey, Did I do something and They can be like, You know, Yeah, You actually when you said this it hurt my feelings that you can be like, Oh man I am so sorry. I really hear where you're coming from. I really hear what you're saying Instead of you know, If you think somebody's mad at you're like, Oh my gosh, What did I do? What did I do? I didn't do anything. I don't think I did anything. I didn't do anything right and I'm just totally like Literally mocking this off of my own conversations and then if the person said that you did something you're like wait But no, I did that because this person did this it's like you become defensive of yourself and you're trying to prove something There's nothing ever to prove if a person is mad at you You know, They're just mad at their own thoughts about what happened You can if we can keep our mind, Right if we can keep redirecting our mind to helpful things to more balanced things to To just you know things that help us stay in our body and help us stay Connected to the fact that this is all gonna go away at some point and that and not none of it is actually this big of a deal nothing is actually Big enough of a deal to freak out about like this is something I am learning over and over and over again in my life It's like nothing is worth my peace nothing, Nothing is worth my peace and I get to actually control my peace by Learning this this habit of redirecting the mind to something that makes me more peaceful Something that allows me to stay in my physical experience and stay grounded and stay just logical You know when we're lost in our mind we no longer are logical we're like, Oh this person is mad at me Cuz seven years ago I said this it's like, Okay It's just not it goes beyond logic anymore It's like our brain just like goes down every single crevice of like why something could be wrong and it's okay it's kind of funny to think about I laugh because I Don't know. It's like it's just kind of silly. The mind is silly. It's like a very silly thing And we take it so Seriously, It's like we are so strung out by our brains. We are so strung out by Going down these thought patterns and rabbit holes that the brain wants to take us to because we don't have the skill of redirection We don't have the skill of saying like, You know what? I'm going down a path that I don't really want to go down. I kind of feel crappy. I don't want to feel crappy Okay, What can I do and you know, Sometimes it's like, Okay I'm gonna take ten really really really deep breaths or it's like, Okay You know what tonight? I'm gonna try to make it to yoga class or it's like, You know what tonight like I'm gonna go and Pick up some food for my family and make my dinner tonight easeful Or you know what tonight? I'm gonna get on the floor and I'm gonna stretch for like 30 minutes right when I get home just to kind of like Feel my body and relax or it's like, You know Okay, I can feel myself tightening up I can feel myself frustrated I can feel myself Thinking all of these negative thoughts that I don't even know are true. Okay, No problem Don't let your mind follow moves, Right? Like doing something that helps you like bring yourself back Something that brings yourself back to this physical moment To the fact that everything's impermanent, Even if a person is upset with you that that's okay It's gonna change the person's not gonna be upset with you forever And if they are upset with you forever, Eventually we all die. I Say that jokingly, But it's like just true. It's it's it's the reality. It's true. It's like nothing is forever everything comes and goes everything and The way that you can help yourself is to really train your mind one notice when your mind is doing this pattern Notice when your mind wants to latch on to things and can't let it go. I Really the more and more that I study Buddhism the more and more that I recognize that it Just is about being able to let go of whatever wants to keep you out of this moment There's a lot of things that pull at our attention and I am NOT perfect at this whoo-wee constant work in progress and Every time I allow myself to let go of something and Bring my attention back and bring it back in a light kind of playful way Man do I feel better? Man can I then move forward in a more intentional? More aligned way And it takes a lot of practice because honestly it happens like probably 50 times a day. Maybe a hundred times I don't know. It happens a lot. It happens a lot We're constantly being bombarded by stuff and so it takes a lot of practice and I think you know One way we can keep thinking about it is like wherever we let our mind go That's what that's what is strengthened in our life so if we let our mind go to negative thinking about ourselves or another and then we talk negative about Ourselves or about another or we talk negative about our job That is what is being strengthened in our mind and in our heart and in our life And if we can keep you know, Noticing that the mind does that naturally, Right? We're never going to be satisfied in this life personally because everything is always changing and Nothing is always like stable and happy forever That's the reason that even thinking about positive things or thinking about the things that make us happy is also kind of a dangerous place to go like Ruminating on all the positive, You know There's definitely like I would rather somebody ruminate on positive than negative But I also there is negative to both because both are impermanent. So if you're ruminating on something that's really good in your life One that can be helpful as you begin to kind of like strengthen your moods To look toward positive things or look toward the good There's nothing like bad about that, But it has to come with the wisdom that that too is also Not forever So, You know right now I'm in like a really good relationship and sometimes I'm like wow Man this is amazing. This is perfect, You know, Whatever it is and I have to remind myself that yes in this moment, I can take a breath and feel that joy and really feel it and experience it and also I can keep an awareness that this Relationship will also end at some point and it may not be breakup. That's kind of the cool part it may not be break it maybe maybe it will be when I die like whatever and Eventually, I will have to let it go and if I just keep that mentality it also makes me cherish what's here and Makes me cherish this moment. It makes me want to be present with my partner because who knows? Who knows what the future is going to bring? You know, We all know these wisdoms. We all know that Something can end at any moment. We all know that we can die at any moment, But we don't actually like Know it in our soul. We kind of know it logically. We know it because we've heard it so many times But to know it in your soul, I Don't know There's a way in which it changes how you want to live There's a way in which it changes how you want to be in your day-to-day moment and you know moment by moment experience And I think it's an important shift Personally it has been very important to me It has given me the ability to I Don't know really take in goodness And experience it and it's given me the ability to let things go when I need to let them go without Clinging for too long. I mean we all know we all have probably held on to something longer than we needed to And this can be people this can be jobs this can be stories this can be Habits this can be you know, It's like it runs the gamut and So to practice redirecting your mind just gives you the power It gives you the power back you get to control where your mind goes It's not like it just happens like it feels like that because the mind is so habituated but you actually Can practice something else and you actually can train the mind to redirect into? More Wise and helpful places a lot of people struggle with the mind or struggle with the breath Because of trauma and because of other things and so another thing that you can do is just get into your body So I said walk and notice your feet But you can also just begin to focus on a sensation you feel in your body You can focus on your palms of your hands your feet You can focus on literally the belly moving out and in as you breathe you can bring it into the body to just anything That brings you back to present moment reality something that is happening right now in this moment, I Really feel like we will never regret attempting more and more to be here now And it takes work and it takes practice, But I think it's such a worthy practice And I really do think that we must remember That the breakdown is the breakthrough so we have to catch ourselves Getting caught by a mood or getting caught by a storyline or talking negative about something We have to catch ourselves doing the behavior that doesn't make us feel good and then say you know what? I'm gonna practice this redirection thing. Where's my breath or don't lay my follow moves Don't let your mind follow moves. I kind of like I'm saying like singing this as a joke, But it really works Don't let your mind follow moves You can control where your mind goes Don't let your mind follow moves You can control where your mind goes You actually can and I think it is one of the worthiest practices That we can do in this life Okay, Y'all that's on This podcast ended up being way longer than I thought it would but that's cool I always appreciate when things actually arise for me to speak to People always ask me like do you write a script and I never write a script I always just think about something that I'm being currently inspired by or something that occurred in my You know moment life my present moment life and I just like turn on my podcast and talk about it That's also why there you know, There's mess-ups there's also why I lose train of thought sometimes there's also why it's like This is just a very human Podcast and for all of you folks that actually listen and keep listening Deep deep bows to you. I am You're the reason I keep doing it. So thank you And the people that reach out to me and share how it's impacted them. Thank you. It's like Talk about some juice for the battery It's like massive juice for the battery Because as you guys know life gets in the way and it's not always easy, You know, I don't get paid to do this podcast so sometimes it's not easy to make it a priority, But Knowing that there are people that listen and knowing that it matters to them is like really impactful to me So thank you to everyone who reaches out and thank you to anyone who has ever Rated and reviewed this podcast, You know, That's how it gets seen and heard about and and also if you share It so if you're ever, You know inspired by something that's here. Please share it. It's You know, It's so individual what inspires us, But if it inspires you, You know Pass it along if you feel called no pressure ever Um, Okay, That's it happy Saturday and I look forward to next time

Reviews

I love the phrase " each breakdown is a break through." Good stuff! Thank you.

Incidently, the link to your website ln your prfile oage on Timer is broken. Clicking the link produces an error: " Errer 404 File Not Found". Be well... I ee

Thank you, Kimberly. I find your talks truly inspiring, helpful and amusing 🌟 Love it that your feline chips in with comments, too 😁 Are your podcasts available elsewhere? The website doesn't appear to connect.

Loved it …. Your voice and words sounds exactly how it would speak/talk. I really really enjoyed it/you. Thank you will listen more.