Hello,
Kimberly Johnson here.
I am so honored you will be sitting with me today,
Exploring your inner world and your outer world.
I have been meditating since 2007 and am currently under the mentorship of the lovely Jet Kornfield and Tara Brach.
My hope is leading you through meditations that give you access on the cushion and off of the cushion in day to day life to really develop and feel true peace,
True joy,
And true presence.
Today we will explore working with agitation.
So first maybe just begin to let your body get settled.
And as the body settles,
Maybe relaxing or releasing any habitual tension.
Those places in the body that we tend to clench or squeeze or tighten up.
Just see if for this moment if you can practice letting it go,
Letting the body be relaxed.
And you might even notice that as we meditate,
Even during this short time together,
That the body will pick back up tension.
And that that's okay and that's normal.
And just practicing time and time again letting it go,
Letting the body relax and release.
And then maybe just as the body relaxes,
Begin just noticing the body breathing.
How the body moves with the breath.
And right here as the body and the mind begins to settle,
Just allow yourself to bring to mind whatever is agitating you.
Maybe it's something at work,
Maybe it's something in a relationship,
Maybe it's a habit or a pattern.
And just seeing if you can just allow it to be here,
Bring it into the mind.
Not judging it or needing to change it or fix it.
Just letting it be here.
And then move out of the mind and see if you can feel where you feel it most in the body.
Keeping the body relaxed and feeling where you feel the sensations most intensely in the body.
Maybe it's tightness around the neck or the chest or maybe it's a clenched jaw or fist or belly.
And just pay attention to the sensation.
What does it actually feel like to be agitated?
And maybe even asking yourself,
Can I let this be here just as it is?
Can I let this be here as part of this human life?
And then right here,
Maybe ask yourself,
What am I believing most about myself or about life?
Just trusting whatever wants to arise.
What am I believing most about myself or about life?
And maybe see if you can look back on your life and ask yourself,
When's the first time I remember believing this or feeling this way?
Maybe it's in my childhood or my teens or my young adulthood.
When's the first time I can remember feeling this way or believing this?
Not looking for anything grandiose,
Just notice what arises.
And see if you can see this younger version of yourself,
See if you can see their face.
See what they're wearing.
Feel what they're feeling.
And imagine yourself walking up to them.
And as you walk up to them,
Maybe placing your own hand on the body part where you feel the agitation most as an act of supportive loving touch.
And imagine as you walk up to them looking at this younger,
Vulnerable version of yourself and asking,
What do you need?
What do you need most?
Maybe it's to be held.
Maybe it's words of care and affirmation or love.
Maybe it's to whisper to them,
I see you.
You are safe.
I'm here with you.
But for a few breaths,
Really practice giving this version of yourself exactly what it needs.
Taking some slow breaths.
And maybe just noticing how you feel now.
I want to suggest that most agitation in the body is the body yearning for nurturance,
Yearning for care and comfort.
And instead of obsessing about the thing that has you agitated,
Maybe turning the attention on your own heart and caring for your own heart.
Repeating this practice as often as it's needed.
Have a beautiful day.
