Peace Of Mind In Troubled TImes - Part Three

This is session 3 of my three-part transformative series designed to help you cultivate and maintain peace of mind, no matter what challenges life throws your way. I created the series in response to the pervasive social angst that has marked our times. In this final session I share a time proven way to work toward desired changes in the world without compromising your peace of mind and equanimity. The session involves didactic, storytelling, and experiential components. It ends with a summary of the series.
Background Music by John Bartmann, Shady Dave, Ashot Danielyan, and Doug Maxwell. Photo by Anastasiia Chaikovsk via Pexels.

Transcript

Meditations for Deep Living. Today, Peace of Mind in Troubled Times. Part 3. Welcome. I'm G. S. Renfree, And this is the third and final session in my series on cultivating and sustaining peace of mind in the face of life challenges. Meditation and mindful living enables us to create a place within ourselves that's calm, Fully present, And at peace with the world, Regardless of what's happening around us. This series has focused on how to cultivate and protect that sacred space in the face of troubled times. In Part 1, We looked at the nature of the human mind and why we're prone to distorted perceptions. We explored how our distress doesn't come from the life events themselves, But from how we think about them. You were guided through a brief meditation to help you discern the difference between dwelling on a disturbing thought and grounding yourself in mindfulness. I then shared a simple technique that can often dispel distressing thoughts and feelings in seconds. In Session 2, We explored two important ways to preserve our peace of mind. The first was how to better discern between distorted narratives and perceptions and what's really happening in our lives. The second was how to stay calm and centered when dealing with legitimate concerns. Today we'll explore a time-proven way to support desired changes in the world without losing your peace of mind. We begin with a short discussion, After which I'll share an old teaching tale. We'll end with an exercise to give you a sense of how this approach works and feels. Most of us, At some point, Face a situation that cries for action. For some, It's a daily experience. These often involve perceived dangers that are being ignored, Injustices that remain uncorrected, Or deeply important issues that we feel need public attention. Sometimes these concerns are widely shared, But even then, People often have sharply opposing views on what should be done. Historically, Such highly polarized situations have led to social unrest, Even armed conflict, But today they more often lead to information wars and deepening political divides. For those who seek to live mindfully and with compassion, It can be hard to know what to do or whether to become involved at all. On the one hand, As many spiritual and philosophical traditions teach, A mindful path often involves detaching from the chaos and conflict of the world. This might mean carefully avoiding the drama that usually surrounds social upheaval. Yet doing nothing in the face of danger or injustice can feel like complicity. It also denies the world of any positive impact you might offer. As the saying goes, All that's needed for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing. Still, One must be cautious with such sentiments. While sometimes valid, They often arise from polarized thinking and can lead to dangerous attitudes like, You're either with us or against us, Fueling the very division and conflict we hope to quell, Or at least avoid. On the other hand, A mindful path can also mean spreading goodwill, Helping others, And promoting needed change. This would argue for taking action with clarity and kindness when one encounters suffering or injustice. So it seems we face a dilemma. Should we detach from the chaos of the world to preserve our peace of mind and avoid adding to the conflict? Or should we engage the problems of the world and try to become part of a solution? How do we reconcile this apparent quandary? There's a beautiful teaching tale I heard some time ago at the Spirit Rock Center in California, And it provides a time-tested answer. Long ago there lived two renowned teachers of the way. Each followed a core principle of the path to enlightenment and freedom from suffering, And countless people came to them from far and wide for spiritual guidance and for help with life's challenges. The teacher in the north followed the principle of non-attachment to worldly affairs. To those facing loss, Hardship, Or injustice, They would simply be told, This is the nature of life. The right response is to accept what is. In contrast, The teacher in the south emphasized right action and service to others. When people sought help with similar struggles, They were advised to confront life's difficulties with courage, Skill, And compassionate effort. Both teachers served their people for many years, Developed devoted followings, And each became the master of a large monastery. In time, However, The teacher in the north grew troubled. So many had come to him with grief and pain, And all he ever offered was to teach them to accept what was. They would heed his advice and leave no happier for it. Though he believed that their suffering would end if they truly accepted life as it was, He was haunted by the thought that there had to be more he could do for his people. Eventually this weariness grew too heavy to bear, And he decided he needed help for himself. As it happens, He'd heard of the great teacher in the south and believed that if anybody could help him, It would be them. So under the guise of taking a retreat of solitude, He left the monastery and set out on a long journey. After many days of travel, A great storm struck. The wind howled, The rain poured, And he was soon soaked and chilled to the bone. But undaunted, He journeyed on through the forest into the night. Then, Just before giving in to despair, He noticed a flickering light through the trees and followed it to a cave. Inside, An old woman sat by a small fire cooking a humble meal. She looked up, Smiled, And invited him in. She gave him her seat by the fire and served him warm food and hot tea. As his clothes dried and the warmth of the fire and food soothed him, The old woman observed, You dress in the manner of the north. What brings you here and through such a storm? So he told her his story about who he was, How he'd grown weary, And that he journeyed there to seek help from a great master. The old woman nodded thoughtfully. I know of this teacher, She said. The monastery is not far and I shall take you there in the morning. Relieved, The teacher thanked her and fell into a deep restful sleep beside the fire. In the morning, As promised, The old woman led him through the forest until they came to a grand monastery. As they approached, The great doors of the monastery swung open and monks and nuns filed out with colorful banners lining the path in welcome. The teacher was stunned. This master must truly be wise to have foretold my arrival, He thought. But then all of the monks and nuns bowed, Not to him, But to the old woman. Welcome home, Master, They said in unison. The humble old woman from the cave was the master he sought. And so the teacher from the north did receive the healing he'd hoped for. Together they forged the union of their two teachings, Right action and detachment. Now he could offer his people more. He would advise those facing hardship and injustice to act with courage, Skill, And compassion to correct these, But to always let go of any attachment to the outcome. When it came time to leave, The teacher of the south accompanied him the half day's journey to the cave where they'd first met. When it was time to say farewell, He found himself emotional and at loss for words. I don't know how to thank you, He finally said. The old woman cleared her throat, Equally touched. But you have helped me as much as I have helped you, She said. How is that possible, He asked. When I sought you out, I was of no service to anyone. The old woman gave him a sheepish smile and said, That night you encountered me here, I was on a journey north to seek help from you. So what can we learn from this old parable? What's its fundamental lesson? It suggests that neither right action nor non-attachment alone work well in facing life's challenges. It's the combination of the two that enables us to respond with clarity and compassion, And to pursue change when needed, And yet still maintain our peace of mind. In short, Do your best, But detach from the results. Let's explore what this might look like in real life. Suppose your community is facing what you believe to be an important election, And you want to contribute, Hoping for a certain outcome. So you engage the task. Perhaps you speak up, Write letters, Maybe even volunteer in the campaign. But you don't fall prey to fear or anger. You stay grounded, Using tools like those covered in sessions one and two. On the day of the election, You might simply cast your vote and go home for a pleasant dinner. Detaching from the outcome, You may choose not to watch the election results as they come in, But decide instead to discover the results in the morning. Here's another example. Let's say you received what you consider an unfair traffic ticket, And you decide to dispute it. You prepare your case, And, Using what you've learned in sessions one and two, You prevent yourself from feeling victimized or otherwise distressed about it. On your day in court, You speak your truth, But you don't become emotionally attached to your desired outcome. If the judge rules in your favor, That's great. If the judge rules against you, However, Well, It may not be as nice, But it's okay too. Imagine how much easier life would be if you could engage its challenges fully and mindfully, And yet when things don't go the way you'd like, It doesn't disturb your equanimity. Keep in mind that equanimity at this level also means emotionally detaching from positive outcomes. If your favorite political party wins the election, Or if the judge rules in your favor, That's nice, And it's okay to take some pleasure in it. However, The more you allow yourself to indulge in positive thoughts and feelings when things go the way you want them to, The stronger the negative thoughts and emotions you'll need to battle when they don't. Taking reasonable pleasure in the wins and mild disappointment in the losses will give texture to your emotional experiences, But they'll not perturb your peace of mind. It's a way to transform an emotional roller coaster into a pleasant and interesting ride. That level of equanimity is hard for many people to imagine, And there are some issues that most would find impossible to detach from completely. But the greater the ability for you to do your best and detach from the outcome, The happier and more effective you will be in the long run. The following exercise will give you a glimpse of what it's like to have that kind of mindful presence and composure. For this exercise, Think of a situation you might find yourself in where you're involved with something that has a desired outcome for you. At this point, It's best not to choose something too important to you, But something that is at least meaningful. It could be a simple as a game of some sort that you're playing with friends, Watching your favorite sports team compete, Or maybe being involved in a local or regional election. Take a moment to decide on the situation you'll use. If you have difficulty, You can always use a memory of a real situation that had an outcome you didn't care for. Just be certain that it isn't one connected to strong emotions, As that'll make the learning process more difficult. So, If you please, Sit or lie in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and relax. It's time to be present, Here and now. Feel free at any time to make any adjustments you need in how you're sitting or lying, So that you remain comfortable. Take in a full breath, Counting to three, Feeling it fill your belly and chest. Now gently release it to the count of three. Breathe in to the count of four. Pause, Then release to the count of four. Breathe in to the count of five. Pause, And slowly release your breath to the count of five. Repeat this a few times at your own pace, Letting each in-breath fill you with relaxation, And each out-breath carry away any lingering tension. Let go of any control of your breathing, And simply observe it in its natural rhythm. See if you can notice any subtle body sensations as you breathe. Perhaps there's a slight tension in your chest as your muscles engage to inhale, Or a slight wave of relaxation as you exhale. Continue this for several more breaths, Simply being aware of these sensations, Without analyzing or thinking about them. Just be present, Observing the ebb and flow of your breath. Take a moment now to imagine the scenario you selected. Start from some point prior to the eventual outcome, And try to capture the thoughts and feelings of mindfully engaging in whatever the activity is or was. Now imagine the outcome is not what you'd hoped for. Allow yourself to experience whatever thoughts and feelings accompany this, And after a few moments, Take a deep breath and dismiss those thoughts with some statement that minimizes the negativity. Statements such as, You win some, You lose some, Hats off to the other team, Or it is what it is, Or from session two, This feels unfortunate, But we'll see. See if you can dismiss the thoughts and feelings associated with an undesired outcome, And return your focus to your breath. Repeat this exercise, Either using the same scenario or selecting another one. Spend a moment imagining yourself engaging mindfully in the task at hand, Hoping for a particular outcome, And then imagine the undesired outcome. See if you can take a breath, Dismiss it with a phrase, And return your attention to mindful breathing. Practicing with imagined scenarios like this, Ending in both desired and undesired outcomes, Can give you a sense of the process and provide practice, But the real learning comes when you face real situations that matter to you. Like most skills, There's a learning curve to this, And at first you may find it difficult to emotionally detach from outcomes of issues that are deeply important to you. Once you do however, You'll find it much easier to navigate life's challenges and conflicts mindfully, And without disturbing your peace of mind and equanimity. Most people find that when they're able to experience greater equanimity with both positive and negative outcomes to events, Their overall life satisfaction deepens, And they become more effective in taking an active and proactive approach to life. Let's take a moment to review what we've covered in this series, And how it all fits together to promote equanimity no matter what life brings. In session one, We explored a powerful idea that our thoughts and emotions about life events come from within, Not from the events themselves. Recognizing this allows us to reclaim control of our inner world, So we can remain calm, Centered, And resilient in the face of challenges. In session two, We focused on clarity and truth. We learned how to protect ourselves from misinformation and disinformation, And how to practice intellectual honesty when evaluating what we see and hear. Doing this helps us form more accurate beliefs, And frees us from being manipulated by social and political forces. In session two, We also learned a way to respond mindfully to disappointing events, So we can remain grounded rather than reactive. And in this final session, We looked at the delicate balance between action and detachment. We discovered that peace of mind doesn't require us to step away from life's problems, And that we can engage them fully so long as we let go of attachment to the outcomes. Taken together, These principles and practices can help you experience true presence, Peace of mind, And emotional equanimity in the face of whatever life brings your way. I hope you've enjoyed this series. I hope you found it helpful, And that what you've learned will serve you well in the coming months and years. Thank you for taking the time to journey with me today. May you be warm and safe, And may you live in peace and happiness.