Adversity's Hidden Gifts

There are aspects of life that are not pleasant. Among the countless joys and blessings, there is loss and pain, but if we mindfully accept these, it can add to the depth of our life experience. Doing so can also reveal a hidden gift, even if that is just greater confidence that we can use to navigate this life with equanimity.

In this practice, you are guided to explore the difference between our usual way of thinking about things unpleasant and a mindful way of practising acceptance.

Image by Asphotography on Pexels. Music by John Bartmann (Interstellar Space), Shady Dave (Mystical Glade, Feelings of Twilight, Under The Stars), Alan Spiljak (Flash Piano Ambient).

Transcript

Meditations for Deep Living Today,

Adversity's Hidden Gifts Late one autumn,

An Alberta Clipper rolled into Ontario,

Bringing with it a foot of light,

Floppy snow.

An Alberta Clipper is what we call a mass of frigid arctic air that moves in from the northwest,

Freezing everything in its wake.

Driving through it was tricky,

And the winds could freeze skin in minutes,

But once embraced by the warmth of my home with the storms safely locked outside,

Life became pleasantly cozy.

The only thing that dampened the experience was the thought that yet another winter was upon us,

And it was promising to be a difficult one.

When I awoke the next morning,

I showered up and put on the coffee.

Looking out my garden window,

I saw a morning dove under the cypress bush and realized that the food I'd put out for the birds the day before was now covered with snow.

I donned my winter boots and went out with a broom and cup of fresh seed,

Hair still wet from my shower.

It was minus 18 degrees Celsius,

Or about zero Fahrenheit,

But there was no wind,

The skies were clear,

And the sun blazed brightly.

Only dressed in thin cotton,

I stayed warm by brushing away the snow and placing the seed.

When done,

I paused for a moment to breathe in the icy air.

In meditation,

The difference in sensation between breathing in and breathing out is often used as a focus for our attention.

That morning as I breathed in,

I could feel moisture freeze inside my nostrils and the chilling,

Drying effect of the icy air on my throat and the top of my lungs.

When I exhaled,

I breathed out body warmth and moisture.

It was a profound difference in sensation,

And the result was that I quickly found ground in this natural meditator focus.

Rather than go into the warmth and waiting coffee,

I stood and gazed into my yard.

The fallen snow was so light and fine that the air glittered in the sunlight with tiny floating crystals of ice.

It was quiet and peaceful,

And I was struck by the intense beauty and serenity of the moment.

I felt blessed to be a part of it.

The evening storm that I'd thought a harbinger of a harsh winter became the bearer of this gift.

I recalled how cozy my home felt and how grateful I was for it.

The amazing conveniences we enjoy,

Like central heat and hot running water,

Usually fade in our appreciations to become minor items in the backdrop of our lives.

Taken for granted,

We often need a reminder of how much they add to the quality of our lives,

And nature has a way of doing that.

At a deeper level,

My experience reminded me that there are aspects of life that are not pleasant.

There is loss and pain among the countless gifts and blessings.

And yet even these,

If we accept them,

Perhaps embrace them,

Can add to the depth of our life experience.

In contrast,

Resisting that which is painful through escape or denial often creates the very suffering we hope to avoid.

Accepting such things,

Sitting quietly and exploring them with an open mind and heart,

We are often treated to a hidden gift,

Even if that gift is simply a more profound experience of our lives or a greater sense of confidence that we can navigate this world with grace and equanimity regardless of our circumstances.

The wet tips of my hair had frozen,

And I knew it was time to go back into the warmth and enjoy my coffee.

But I stood for a few more minutes facing the sun and breathing in the cold air.

It was a beautiful and unexpected reminder of how truly blessed we all are and how sometimes what seems undesirable is really a gift in disguise if we're open to it.

In this brief meditation,

You're invited to embrace something unpleasant in your life with simple acceptance.

So now,

If you please,

Sit or lie in a comfortable position.

Close your eyes and relax.

It's time to be present here and now.

Please bring your awareness to your breath.

When you're ready,

Take in a slow breath to the silent count of five.

Breathe out to five.

In for five.

And out for five.

Take in another full breath and direct your attention to the sensations in your chest as you draw the air in.

Then release the breath and notice any changes in the sensations in your chest.

Continue this for several more breaths,

Directing your awareness to the sensations in your chest created by this natural rhythm.

Now take a moment to identify a situation or event that has been mildly to moderately troubling for you.

I don't recommend choosing something with dire significance or emotions yet,

But it should be something meaningful.

Perhaps a recent loss or disappointment.

It can also be physical discomfort or pain,

But I'll be creating a special meditation for that in the weeks to come.

Once you've identified your focus,

Reflect on this event or situation for a few moments as you normally would and allow yourself to experience whatever arises for you.

You may find yourself caught up in some sort of narrative about it.

You may find yourself flooded with emotion.

Whatever your experience,

Just allow things to happen as they normally would when you allow yourself to think about this event or situation.

Now take in a deep breath and blow it out with a little force,

Imagining your exhalation taking away all the thoughts and emotions you just generated.

Repeat this,

Focusing on the sensations it creates to release your mind of the task of reflection.

The emotions we experience when we reflect on some event,

Whether past or expected,

Do not actually stem from the event itself,

But from the thoughts we have about it and any conditioned reactions our past might have created.

In that sense,

When we reflect on something unpleasant,

We usually do so from an ungrounded,

Non-present state and it's all too common to become caught up in negative fantasies from which we want to escape or tend to avoid when we can.

Mindful reflection is different.

It involves acknowledging an event and whatever images and emotions arise without becoming caught up in storytelling about it.

It involves remaining relatively grounded while being aware of the event and its associations.

It often involves a dance between the virtual reality of imagination and the reality of the here and now.

Prior to the next step in this process,

Return to the silent five-count breathing we began with.

Shift your focus to the sensations in your chest.

Now allow your breath to return to its natural pace and simply observe it for a few moments.

Now revisit the event or situation you identified earlier.

Reflect on it again for a few moments and allow yourself to experience whatever images and reactions arise.

This time,

However,

Stay grounded in the present by retaining some awareness of the sensations of your breathing.

Remain present with the experience without embracing any negative thoughts that arise or allowing your mind to take flight into fantasies or stories.

If strong,

Unpleasant emotions arise,

Breathe into your heart space.

This involves a partial shift in attention to the sensations in your chest while taking in a slightly deeper than normal breath,

But with no attempt to otherwise lessen the emotions.

If you become aware of any disturbing or agitating thoughts about the event,

Gently detach from them in the same way.

If at any point what you experience becomes too unpleasant,

Or if you find yourself caught up in an unpleasant story,

Briefly reground yourself by taking in one or more full breaths,

Observing the sensations they produce,

Until you feel grounded again,

Then return to your mindful reflection.

See if you can sit in awareness of this unpleasant part of your life with just a little more acceptance and peace.

Recognize,

If you can,

What it's like to mindfully hold this experience without undue attachment or distress.

What is it like to simply sit with this painful experience,

To accept it,

With no need to change it or escape from it?

The above practice can be difficult at first,

So if you haven't been able to experience this yet,

Be patient.

We are most often accustomed to grasping at the pleasurable and suppressing or avoiding the painful.

Too often,

We let our minds run free with positive,

Stimulating imaginings or get caught up in negative storytelling.

When we do either,

Mentally grasp at pleasure or escape displeasure,

It draws us from our center and as a result,

We lose depth in our experience and foster the conditions for distress.

There's certainly a healthy place in our lives for allowing the mind to freely wander the landscapes of the imagination,

Even become lost in them.

But doing so without awareness,

As a matter of unconscious habit,

Opens us to experiencing its negative counterpart.

Through a regular practice of accepting the unpleasant aspects of our lives without becoming lost in unpleasant thoughts about them,

It becomes progressively easier to be fully present with life,

Whatever it brings,

Positive or negative,

And remain grounded in equanimity.

Finally,

In this short meditative exercise,

You may not have uncovered one of life's hidden gifts as I did that cold autumn morning.

But if you practice being at peace with what is and cultivating equanimity,

You'll become more aware of the profound experiences and the gifts that life offers us each day.

Thank you for taking the time to meditate with me today.

May you be warm and safe.

And may you live in peace and happiness.

Reviews

Such grounding, wonderful advice. This came at a much needed time for me, and brought much comfort.

Love the depth. Thank you.

Lovely voice and helpful lesson.
Thank you ☯️

Gentle and kind introduction into looking at areas which cause discomfort and how to be with them rather than be moved by them. Absolutely amazing!! Thank you George. ✌️

This was really helpful! Thanks.

Very good Thank-you.

Excellent exercise and message. Thank you!

Really enjoyed this mediation, thank you

Thank you - really nice. 🙏 namaste

Thank you George Stephen. I could relate well to your message. Sending good wishes.

Thank you. I enjoyed listening to the experience you shared at the onset of the meditation and the way you related it to the practice of mindful living.

That was beautiful and timely. Thank you for it.