Let's meditate,
Right?
Let's make sure that you're sitting comfortable and if you prefer to lie down that's also perfectly fine and if you notice you're falling asleep that's okay,
Your body just needs some rest and so you're sleeping a little bit you can listen to the recording later on so you're not really missing something also but if you really don't want to fall asleep then it's best to sit up with me but you can lean against the back of the chair against the wall something to make you comfortable and it's good to feel your feet on the ground so put your feet on the ground and become aware of how your feet make contact with the ground with the floor it's not just foot on the ground there are a lot of different touch points under your feet that are pressing against the floor if you tune into that,
Maybe close your eyes you can distinguish those different touch points now bring your attention to your buttocks which are resting on the seat of your chair your cushion,
Ground also your buttocks,
The surface of your buttocks has many touch points pressing against the seat different pressure points now bring your attention to your shoulders are those shoulders relaxed?
Or is there some tension?
If you feel any tension,
Then just pull them up and drop them pull them up and drop them and notice that when you drop your shoulders there is a sense of relaxation in your body a sense of relief of the tension is there any tension in your face?
Is your forehead relaxed?
Are your jaws unclenched?
Alright,
Now imagine that there is this big beautiful door in front of you now use your imagination in the way that you normally fantasize so I will describe images to you but if you know from yourself that you fantasize through knowing,
Feeling,
Smelling whatever way you fantasize,
Then use that ability don't try to see images if you know from yourself that you are not a visual fantasist let my words inspire you to use your fantasy in a way that you can create this fantasy world around you make this fantasy world believable for you by using your means of fantasy alright,
Now that's settled take a look at this door it's a beautiful white door and it now opens,
Wide open so let's walk through it and when you step through it,
You see that you are in a beautiful garden and really take the time to make this your garden so take a look around what kind of plants do you see?
Flowers?
What kind of colors?
Are there trees around you?
How does it smell?
How does the atmosphere feel in your skin?
Because it's perfect for you,
It's not too hot,
It's not too cold are there any animals?
Is there a sun?
Or is it evening?
Maybe there are more suns,
Also possible,
It's your fantasy it's a good place to be,
This garden this is really your fantasy garden,
This is a garden where you could hang out every day to relax to feel good let's walk into this garden for a moment and when you walk,
You see something shiny in front of you it makes you curious,
So you're walking towards this shiny thing and you realize it is a mirror and you stand now in front of this mirror and you look at yourself and you realize when you look at yourself that you are wearing the most comfortable,
Easy-going clothes that you would love to wear something so cozy,
Something so nice something so soft and comfortable that the only way to feel good in your body right now is good this is what you would love to put on when you come back from hard days of work and you want to feel comfortable and cozy and pleasant this is what you're wearing right now and if you don't possess something like that,
Then just imagine something fantasize something and when you look at yourself in the mirror wearing these really comfortable clothes and realize that you look at yourself smiling in the mirror you can see that you are comfortable you are with ease that looks really really great maybe it makes you smile right here and now when you see yourself there so comfortable you now notice that just behind you there is this really comfortable chair and you decide to sit in it and this chair is perfect for you the cushions are just right,
Not too hard,
Not too soft supportive,
Comfortable you know you can sit in this chair for quite a while and feel really really good and when you now look in the mirror you see yourself stepping back a little bit and you see yourself now not mirrored anymore but it's like you're looking at a movie screen where you watch yourself and you see yourself now in a situation that was guided by your perfectionism but you really felt not so good about yourself this is a situation,
It might be a memory it might be a very common understanding of when your perfectionism is in your way and when that critical voice starts to be up and I remind you,
You are not experiencing this now it's you in that mirror screen it's like you're watching that movie so know that when you watch it that it is not you but it's like looking at yourself in that situation so keep some emotional distance if you can,
If you cannot that's also ok,
But be kind to yourself if you feel emotions because you're watching this then really hug yourself put your arms around yourself and hold yourself tight rock yourself a little bit,
Tell yourself it's ok it's ok and if you feel it's really overwhelming then just open your eyes take a look around and see that you're just in your own room listening to me and everything is fine but if you can look at it and stay with that experience a little bit of that unpleasantness,
But not too much then we're going to work with this right now so you have this feeling within you now you have this perfectionist in you that is criticizing a little bit what is going on there and before it becomes way too big I would like you now to bring your attention to your nose yeah,
All your attention to your nose now,
To your nostrils ooh,
That's completely something different,
Your attention is on your nostrils and you're noticing the air flowing in and the air flowing out and the air might flow in fast or slow,
That doesn't matter just observe this air flowing in and flowing out flowing in and flowing out and if you find it hard to detach yourself from that image from that emotion that you see there in that mirror,
That's ok you're used to beating yourself up like that the moment you notice you're doing that,
Just bring your attention back to your nostrils to the air flowing in and the air flowing out in and out in and out and if you're distracted by thoughts,
That's ok,
Your mind is used to doing that you're just going to train it and by gently bringing your attention back to your nose to your nostrils where the air is flowing in and out in and out alright,
Now,
Can you feel that there is a relative calmness a relative relaxation of whatever was going on when you were watching yourself in that mirror so look in that mirror now and see yourself there again in those comfortable clothes,
Smiling at you the situation is gone,
The moment is gone and you notice that your distraction,
Your bringing your attention to yourself in the here and now has helped you to calm down that picture there,
In that mirror alright,
If you find this hard,
That's ok it's something that needs some practice,
It's something that needs some time join me for another practice,
Something else that you could also try when things are getting a little bit heated within let's get up from that chair and let's make a stroll next to the brook there can you see the brook?
Let's walk to the brook and don't forget to enjoy this garden,
Enjoy the animals,
The butterflies,
The bees the beautiful flowers and the perfect scents the aromas of this beautiful nature birds flying in the sky the sun on your skin and now we're walking next to that brook and this brook is a perfect brook because the water just flows naturally,
Kindly over some stones,
It makes this pleasant sound ahh,
Relaxing sounds,
Can you listen to it for a moment?
Such a calming quality comes from being aware of water running over stones alright,
Now while we're standing here I would like you to think of a sentence,
A thought a critical voice,
Part of you,
A word,
A sentence that is often in your head that is coming from the perfectionism,
That is beating yourself up that is something that you really,
Really suffer under when you hear it now,
This word or this sentence comes out of you it comes out of you in the form of a rock it might be in your heart,
It might be in your stomach,
It might be in your belly it might be in your head,
In your mouth but you just pull this stone out and this stone is now in your hands in front of you and if you have the feeling that part of that feeling,
Part of that thought is still in you then just reach out and pull out another stone and put it next to this stone in your hands and if it's still not enough then just pull out another stone,
It's okay really feel how these thoughts,
These emotions that come with these thoughts are pulled out by you and they're now rocks in your hands and as rocks they are contained,
They're not hurtful you can actually observe them and let's tell these rocks now your voice,
Your words are not helping me I know these words are spoken with good intentions with the aim to improve myself,
With the aim to perfect myself but the truth is they're not helpful and how much I appreciate your attempt to better me I have decided to walk a different path from now on I've decided to be gentle with myself I've decided to think gentle thoughts and I've decided to say goodbye to you painful thought,
Painful word and when you've said this,
You gently or not so gently,
Whatever you like toss this rock or these rocks into the brook and then something magical happens because these rocks are floating and the brook gently takes these rocks away and there's an important message in the fact that these rocks are floating it means that they were not so dense,
They were not so powerful they were not so strong,
They were not so heavy they were just empty,
Light thoughts that can float off into the distance let that sink in,
That realisation that although those thoughts might sound heavy and serious and important and big and unavoidable they're not,
They're just like empty shells that when you pull them out of yourself you can drop them in the brook and see them float away and really see how they're floating away they're really,
Really,
Really,
Really,
Really,
Really floating away that's powerful,
Let's do that again is there another word,
Another sentence that you would like to pull out of yourself yes,
There it is,
There it is pretty big one,
Pretty big one it means that you got it out all in one piece right now it's gone now,
It's not in you anymore can you feel how light it is,
Light weighted not as heavy and demanding it's a bit of a fake thought about you if that makes you smile,
Then I'm happy because that's exactly what you're aiming for here you can smile about this now,
Say goodbye to this rock say goodbye to this empty shell,
Goodbye thoughts goodbye whatever it was that I was thinking I decided I will be gentle with myself and that means that there is no room for you anymore,
But it's ok,
There's room in the brook I will toss you in and you will float away and find your way be part of nature let's toss it in and again also this one,
It just floats it floats off out of your experience out of your body out of your mind can you feel that sense of relief in your stomach,
In your heart your belly you know it might be that that thought might pop up again tomorrow but that's ok because now you know what to do with it now you know the practice to gently pull it out,
To thank it for its efforts,
But also kindly refuse to use these methods to better yourself because you are going to be gentle with yourself and you toss it away and you see it float away out of your experience and the more often you repeat this the more likely it is that those thoughts will appear less and less at a certain moment,
They will not be there anymore because you have helped yourself to find different thoughts,
But let's do that right now let's continue to walk by the brook and you see there at the distance that there is a beautiful bonfire I don't know about you,
But I love bonfires,
So let's walk to the fire remember that you are wearing those most comfortable clothes that you are in this most beautiful garden,
That everything is just as you like it you are in a good place,
You are in your good place so now we are there at the bonfire and you feel the warmth of the flames it feels good,
It warms yourself and when you look through the bonfire you see on the other side that there is a being waiting for you so you decide to walk around the fire walk up to this being and this being can be someone that you know someone that you knew,
Someone that you know from your fantasy maybe it's a fantasy being,
Maybe it's your dog,
Maybe it's your spiritual guide maybe it's your spirit animal maybe it's one of your parents or grandparents but this being loves you this being loves you so much,
That's for sure so when you approach them you realise who they are whether you have never seen them or they are very familiar you can feel their love almost as well as the warmth of that bonfire shining upon you and when they look at you they have this big beautiful smile you cannot help but smile by yourself and they are here to give you something to put back in that place of the rock so they have it in their hands and they now open their hands and you look at it and whatever it is just let your subconscious accept this gift even if you do not have a clue what it is maybe it's a flower,
Maybe it's a symbol,
Maybe it's a shell maybe it's something that you remember from your childhood maybe it's a word,
Maybe it's a song it doesn't matter what it is but take it from them and hold it in your hands for a moment because they have to tell you something and while you listen to them you hear them speak these words you are so worthy my dearest you are so lovable I've loved you from the very first moment I saw you and I will love you into eternity I'm so proud of you,
Of the human being that you are and you know what,
You don't have to do anything special to deserve my pride you don't have to do anything special to deserve my love you don't have to do anything right to deserve my love because I am here,
Always whatever you do,
Whatever you say,
Whatever you think remember that I am here holding so much love for you know that I am here and that because of that in itself you are so loved so take a look at this gift that is in your hands right now and realise that these words are coming with this gift and that when you put this gift back on the place where you pulled the rocks from which you are doing right now you put this sense of worthiness and loveability deep within it's rooted deep within now and just a memory of this being being there for you,
Loving you you are carrying their gifts within it will help you to resonate with those words it will help you in moments where you are beating yourself up to remember that you are worth everything that you are so valuable and that you don't have to do anything to deserve that you just are,
You just are love you can put your hands on that place where you just put that gift really feel how your whole soul is immersed with that feeling that strong intense knowing that you are always worthy and if that doesn't make a smile in your face can you feel that even if it's the tiniest smile can you feel that?
Can you feel that power of that love from that being?
How it fills you?
It's good to know that you are loved it's good to know that you are worthy and this I wish for every one of you this I wish for every being in this life that they know this worthiness because this worthiness will help you to be self gentle and being self gentle will help you to connect to this worthiness it's a beautiful process with ups and downs but you will get there alright now let's just with no rush walk back to our door through this garden if you like you can walk next to the brook take a look at the place where you dropped off those bothering thoughts and you feel this gift how it replaced it maybe you walk by the chair and take a look in the mirror and see yourself there pretty comfortable,
Pretty content big smile and take a look around in this garden with everything just as you like it this is a place that is deeply rooted within you a place where you can come whenever you want to whenever you need to and remember that whenever one of those thoughts is bothering you that you can do two things you can bring your attention to the here and now by focusing on your breath coming through your nostrils until you feel a relief of that tension or you can actually fantasize that you pull out this what is bothering you you thank it for its attempts to help you but you also tell it that you don't need it because you prefer gentleness over toughness and then see it float away and remember every day from time to time that you carry this gift within you this gift of this being that loves you so much it's the knowing that you are lovable and that's so,
So important to know so remind yourself whenever you can now let's step back through the door and see that it's closing behind us but it's not locked you can always come back whenever you want to and now just take some time to get out of the meditation keep your eyes still closed for one or two minutes don't make a transition come too fast first feel your feet on the ground again maybe you can wiggle your toes push them against the ground move your fingers stretch your spine and then whenever you're ready in your own time you can gently open your eyes
