The Fear Of Failure & Expectations

Many people worry about living up to the expectation of others, and especially with loved ones. While we may be up to the challenge or not, over time this fear will sap our energy and spontaneity. This meditation introducing an outlier approach to overcoming and healing this predicament.

Transcript

Hi, Welcome back. This is Ed. And today we're going to talk about our fear of failures and expectations put on us by everyone and everything in our life. It's a very, Very powerful motivator in our lives. And today, In this meditation, What we're going to do is we're going to learn how not only to deal with them, How to release the beliefs and the physical wounds that substantiate and propagate these possibly erroneous fears and sensations, But also how to create the mindset that allows us to remember. Because just practicing presence alone is not enough. Our wounds hold and deposit themselves, Not just in our memories and emotions, But in our physical bodies. And when we allow them to release, We feel the sensations of them. And when we allow the sensations in the body to release, The connection between them and the mental triggers that go on in our life, When the world triggers us, When circumstances, News, Lovers, Bosses, Friends, Trigger us with a look, With a comment, Or a lack of comment, We can then begin to understand where that comes from and how we can release it. So what we're doing then actually is creating an environment for the physical and the mental components of our triggers and stresses and wounds for them to resolve and heal very naturally, Like we heal any sickness, Illness, Or injury. So, With that, Let's begin. First off, What I'd like you to do is to close your eyes. Sit comfortably with your body supported so that it won't be uncomfortable in five minutes or so. You'll have to force move it to feel better. If you have a meditation technique, Begin it easily and effortlessly. If you don't, Then put your attention on your breath. Just feel how wonderful it is to breathe. Notice the air coming in through your nostrils and filling your lungs and your diaphragm. Good. And then allow yourself to notice the naturalness of your breath. And I say, Notice that you're just kind of getting quiet and going within. You're going to a quiet spot somewhere. I say inside of you, But it may not be inside. It could be everywhere. But whatever it feels like, Go there. Allow it. Good. If you want, You can take a nice deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. I want to give you a couple of minutes just to let yourself go in deep. And if a thought should come into your mind, Say, Hi, Thought, Thank you. I'm going to come back to my technique. And then just let it be there if it wants to hang out. But you put your natural, Easy, Effortless attention on your technique. Good. Good. Good. Just allow yourself to go within. Get quiet. Allow yourself just to maybe become aware of the spaces between your thoughts. Good. And now I would invite you just to stay in that quiet place. While I ask you to think of a past experience. The farther back you can go, The better. When did you first feel? A fear of failure. Or. A fear of an expectation. Go back in your memory. Try to recall it. You may be able to recall it clearly. You may just get a kind of taste of it. A gist of it. Whatever you can. Just try to relive it as clearly as you can. Where you were, How old you were, With you, Time of day. And you will notice possibly that these fears or these concerns. A failure. Come up. Allow it to come up. Don't fight it. Allow it to come up. Let it take you over a little bit. We're doing a beautiful exploration here. Good. As you embellish it, Which is what you're doing, You will notice that you're getting lost in it. The mind begins to remember thoughts, Fears, Concerns. This is good. Let's just allow that to happen a little bit more. If it's not happening that much, Then try to remember more and see if you can have a physical and a mental response to the memory. Good. So now I want you to put your attention on your body. Yes. Put your attention on your body. And do what we call the body scan. Yes. Scan the body. And notice where there's some tightness, Some sensation, All of a sudden. Good. I'll give you a couple more seconds just to, If you haven't found something, Just to do a complete scan. Good. Now that you felt it, This is a sensation. This is the physical wound of that memory, A fear of failure or expectation. I want you to put your attention on that sensation. And I'd like you to talk to that sensation. Yes. I'd like you to say, There you are sensation. I see you. I feel you. I'm putting my attention on that area of the body. And I'm inviting you to release. I'm inviting you to unwind. You are the physical anchor to that fear and belief of failure. And I want you to unwind. I invite you to unwind. This is gently an effortless request. Good. I will not judge you like I did before. I know I pushed you down into the vault of my memory deep within, Not wanting to feel you. But I embrace you now and invite you to come out and unwind and heal. It's safe here. And you will notice one of three possibilities. You may notice that the wound increases and then begins to diminish. Or it can move to another part of your body. Don't worry about why. And if it moves, Just take your attention and move it to where it moved and say, OK, You've moved. There you are. I continue to invite you to unwind, To heal. It's safe. I won't judge you. I won't judge my belief. I just I'm not thinking now. The important part of this exercise, This part of it is that you're feeling without thinking, Except when I'm asking you to think. It's a little different feeling without judging. If you hear the mind judging, Go, Shhh, Just feel it. And it may increase and then diminish. Good. And if it diminishes completely, You could go back to that situation or you could find another time when you were felt afraid of failing or felt afraid of an expectation that was placed on you. And then invite it and excited, Embellish it and see what comes up in the body. It may go to the same place because it's not completely healed yet. Don't expect something that you've held in your body for 30 years to be released immediately to make come up again. And you follow the procedure. You're following the procedure of allowing it to unwind intentfully and with your attention, You're requesting it to release in the body while you're not judging it. Be mindful that if you do judge it, You are just reinstilling it into because the judgment will cause tension in your body. So if you feel tension in that area, Other than the unwinding, You might be judging it. Watch your thoughts. This takes practice. Good. And in this way, What you're doing is you are releasing the anchor that is in the body that is holding this mind memory as a trigger that you must react to. And when you disengage it, You are taking the bullet out of the chamber and you are basically eliminating the trigger. Can you imagine you doing this to all the triggers in your life? What your life will be like? Wonderful. So let's do this again. If you're still working on something, Releasing it, Go ahead. If you've done that, Go back into meditation, Into quietness. If you're not working on something and go in deep, Ask for another experience because there's always more than one there. And relive it. Be there. Mentally remember, Cause the mind to get excited a little bit about it, Which is going to cause your body to release a sensation. And then go to the sensation. Talk to it. Invite it to release. I'll give you a couple of minutes to do that now. Yeah. Great. Great. . Good. . . Great. Good. Okay. Great, Guys. You're doing great. Just remember, If you should practice this on your own, That the key is to feel the sensation without any judgment about it, So that you can allow it to release. Yes. Yes. Wonderful. Great job. Great job.