Welcome to this practice,
The calm meditation for depression.
CALM is an acronym for Curiosity,
Acceptance,
Love and Mindfulness,
And this practice draws from internal family systems,
As well as breathwork and nervous system regulation,
Focusing on soothing and reassuring your inner child.
This practice will focus on depression.
Which is sadly very common and extremely hard to bear.
But you can use it anytime you are struggling with painful emotions.
Start by feeling your feet flat and grounded on the floor,
Sitting in an upright but relaxed posture,
And gently rolling your shoulders back,
Then letting them drop.
Close your eyes if that feels comfortable for you,
Or soften and lower your gaze.
Then take some deep breaths,
In through your nose and out through your mouth.
Try a slow count of four on the in-breath and four on the out-breath.
Keep breathing slow,
Deep and steady.
Four seconds in,
Four seconds out.
As you are breathing,
Let your belly rise and fall with each inhale and exhale.
Keep breathing deeply for another minute.
Now let's move into the practice,
And remember you can pause the meditation anytime you want,
If you need more time to speak to your inner child.
Calm starts with curiosity.
Which means getting curious about what you're feeling right now.
If you're feeling depressed,
You may notice a heaviness in your body as if it's hard to hold your head up.
Your muscles might be aching and fatigued.
You may feel like your body posture is slumping forward in the chair.
Turning towards your emotions,
You may feel sad,
Lonely,
Or a sense of dread in the pit of your stomach.
You might also feel angry,
Agitated or irritable.
Or you may just feel numb,
As if you're frozen inside.
There is no right or wrong way to feel,
So just notice whatever is happening.
As you scan your thoughts,
You might notice they skew negative,
Probably very self-critical and moving between worry about the future and rumination about the past.
Again,
Just notice whatever you are thinking,
No need to change anything for now.
Then start to connect with the part of you who is feeling so bad,
Your inner child.
Take some time to connect,
Saying hello and letting them know you,
Your big strong adult self is there.
When the time feels right,
Ask them why they're suffering so much.
Resist the temptation to fix or problem-solve,
And just let them speak.
This communication might be in words,
Your thoughts,
Images,
Memories,
Emotions,
Body sensations,
Or some other way.
Just be receptive to whatever form of communication you receive.
The next stage of calm is to practice acceptance of whatever you are experiencing.
Buddhism teaches us that we increase our suffering by trying to cling on to good feelings or push away bad ones.
Instead,
Try accepting whatever your reality is right now,
Even if that's hard.
Part of your struggle at the moment is probably caused by protective parts who desperately try to take you out of this reality,
Having you sleep or watch TV all day,
Overeat comfort foods,
Drink alcohol,
Smoke weed or get lost in a world of gaming.
And that's OK.
No need for judgment or self-blame.
Depression is painful,
So of course you don't want to feel it.
But the Buddha also taught that turning towards your suffering and your inner childs with kindness and compassion is the only path to genuine rather than temporary relief.
Let this sad little kid know that you totally understand why they feel so bad.
You are here for them,
And they don't have to do this all alone.
They have you,
And always will.
Now we add the magic ingredient of love.
Turning towards that little kid inside with warmth,
Care and compassion.
Ask what they need from you right now.
That might be to hear their story,
Perhaps memories of painful times from your childhood,
Trauma or neglect you may have experienced in the family or at school.
Again,
No need to jump in with solutions,
Just listen,
And keep reminding them you're there,
You want to hear more,
And that you love them.
They might need a big hug.
But again,
Make sure to ask rather than forcing this in any way.
It should be organic and come from them.
If they do want a hug.
Stay with them as long as they need.
And use simple,
Comforting language like,
I'm here.
I have got you,
Or I care about you deeply.
Just use whatever words feel right for you,
And then.
Then see what they need moving forward.
Like checking in daily,
Putting a photo of them on your desk,
Or the lock screen of your phone.
Remind them you're not going anywhere,
You love them,
That this relationship is for life.
Then say goodbye for now,
Let your breath return to normal and rest.
The final stage of calm involves mindfulness to scan your body and see how you're feeling.
You might notice some new good feelings.
Perhaps some warmth in your heart.
A feeling of peacefulness or calm.
Your muscles becoming softer and more relaxed.
Even if these feelings are quite subtle,
Focus on them,
Enjoy them,
Let them soak into your body.
This is the gold of calm,
Because it's a sign that your little self is feeling a bit better,
And of course that you are too.
Spend as long as you want enjoying these feelings,
But at least 30 seconds.
Then take a deep breath and open your eyes.
I very much hope you enjoyed the practice.
Thank you for meditating with me,
And I hope you have a good day.
