Welcome to this internal family systems meditation,
Which will help you calm a busy,
Worrying mind and drift off into a deep,
Peaceful sleep.
As an IFS therapist,
I help my clients understand that our minds are made up of many different parts,
Some of which are young and vulnerable,
While others are protective.
This is just the way that your brain creates you,
With not just one self,
But lots of different parts of the self.
If you're struggling to sleep,
One of those protective parts might be especially active,
Perhaps filling your mind with stressful worries about the next day,
A big work meeting,
Or a problem with your kids.
Or,
You may not be worrying exactly,
But just feel like your mind is whirring with thoughts,
Ideas,
Memories,
Fantasies,
Or some other mental busyness that would be perfectly fine if it were daytime,
But not what you need as you try and switch your thinking brain off for the night.
This practice will help you quieten your mind and reassure those busy parts so they can relax and let you sink deep into nourishing,
Restful sleep.
Are you ready?
Good,
Then let's begin.
Start by getting as comfortable as possible,
Maybe plumping the pillows or turning them over to find a cool spot.
Adjust your nightwear so it feels as cosy and comfortable as possible.
Sink deeper into the mattress,
Get the covers just right,
Let your body relax.
Allow it to succumb to gravity,
Feeling heavier,
Muscles relaxing,
Tension easing,
All the stresses of your day just ebbing away.
Then let's start with some deep breathing.
Take some slow,
Steady breaths,
In through your nose and out through your mouth.
Try counting to four on the in-breath and four on the out-breath.
Keep breathing,
Slow,
Deep and steady.
Just breathing this way,
Especially if we add the counting too,
Is in itself a helpful way to calm and slow down your busy mind.
You may already notice those thoughts are a bit slower or have less urgency to them,
Which is great.
Now let's add another step,
Which is understanding that these thoughts are not just random,
Ephemeral cognitive activity.
Instead,
Especially if there is a sense of urgency or an emotional tone to them,
They are communications from a part of you.
This part is just trying to get your attention,
Much as a little kid would who is hungry or bored and tugging at your elbow.
And,
As with that little kid,
Trying to ignore them won't work,
Because of course it doesn't feel good to be ignored,
So they just up the ante,
Trying harder and harder to get your attention.
That's why the thoughts keep whirring away until the part feels heard,
Understood and validated.
The counter-intuitive step here is that,
Rather than trying to ignore these thoughts,
We need to turn towards them.
First find the place in your head which feels tight or uncomfortable in some other way.
Then send some breath into the places of discomfort.
Imagine with each in-breath you can feel the breath travelling in through your nose,
Then up into the space behind your forehead.
Let these be calming,
Compassionate breaths,
Reaching that busy,
Tight place in your mind,
And bathing it with a soothing balm of kindness and care.
Just breathe like that for 30 seconds.
Then let's try speaking to this part,
Silently,
Sending those messages just by thinking them inside.
Before we do,
Of course it's natural to feel a bit frustrated with this part,
As they're stopping you sleeping.
But remember that a key lesson from IFS is that there are no bad parts inside you.
They all mean well,
And these busy,
Thinky parts are always trying to protect you in some way.
So try to put that frustration aside and speak to them in a warm,
Friendly tone.
Start by telling this part that you really get how busy they are,
And that you hear them.
You could also say that you understand how important it is for them to communicate with you right now,
That you're not ignoring them,
But that you really need some sleep.
Ask if they can come back in the morning and tell you whatever it is then,
Maybe about that big meeting or an important decision you need to make.
You could also let them know that the more sleep you get,
The more able you will be to deal with this problem effectively,
And to look after them and all the other parts in there.
Then remind them that you hear them,
Are not ignoring them,
And will definitely attend to whatever the problem is in the morning.
See if there's anything they need to say to you at this stage.
If so,
Just listen respectfully.
Then gently remind them that you'll get to this in the morning,
And right now you need some sleep.
Often this is enough to help the part relax.
If so,
Your head might be a lot quieter and you can drift off into sleep.
If not,
You may need to try a few rounds of this until the part is ready to relax.
Try to stay calm,
As getting frustrated won't help you or them.
But if your mind is quieter,
Take a few more deep breaths.
Get extra comfortable in bed.
Then drift off into a deep,
Peaceful,
Restorative sleep.
Thank you for joining me this evening,
My friend.
I hope you have a lovely,
Restful night,
And wake up feeling refreshed and restored.
Sweet dreams.
