How To Handle A Rage-Spike: Practice To Deal With Anger

It is normal to feel surges of rage when going through an emotional healing process, perhaps due to old memories resurfacing, sudden awareness of injustice, or a buildup of the pain and frustration of the healing process itself. Anger is a natural reaction to unfairness and injustice, so it is no wonder we experience it when healing from past hurts. However, a rage-spike can be incredibly distressing and frightening. If not integrated, rage can become highly destructive, so a method to neutralize this pain will help. In this video, I explain a practice and approach that allows us to both validate and accept the rage without it causing too much distress or dysfunction. In time, these 'rage-spikes' will flatten, and although they may not vanish entirely, they will no longer cause distress or dysfunction.

This practice is influenced by Mindfulness, the Cognitive Behavioral approach to painful emotions, Dzogchen, Tantra, and Kashmir Shaivism.

Music Credit: Narek - Music Of Wisdom

Please note: This content is intended for educational and supportive purposes and is not a substitute for professional mental health care.

Transcript

First to stabilize the body and mind as much as is possible right now. Slow your breathing down. We don't have to force this. Just breathe as slow as is possible. As is practical, As is reasonable, Right now. Just breathing as slow as you can and as deep as you can. And just keep breathing in that way. Some people find it helpful to breathe in through the nose. All the way in. And then out through the mouth. All the way out. This is purely to. . . Stabilise the body and mind. Just allows us to remain. Present and conscious in the here and now. Just a sense of beginning. To ground ourselves. But you'll notice it doesn't really dissipate the rage. If the rage spike is there. It will be so intense it feels overwhelming. And no amount of deep slow breathing gets rid. Of this. We. This intense spike of rage. We're actually not going to try and get rid. Of that intense feeling of rage. We're actually going to try a different approach of simply accepting. The presence of this emotion. And handing the emotion over to the body. So this is going to get us out of the psychological suffering. That is being caused by the presence of this emotion. So withdraw your attention away. All of their stories. All of the mental images, All of the arguments that are going on in your head right now. Thoughts of things you should have said or should not have said. Things other people should not have done or they should have done. Just think of this as. . . Narratives and stories in the mind. Just withdraw. Your attention from all of that. The flight. The power of this psychological noise. Instead, You can bring. . . Your awareness. To the sensations of breathing. It just redirects. Focus of attention. That's where we can begin to start feeling much more. Present, Conscious, Grounded, Secure. And ultimately safe. So focus on the sensations of breathing. Pull attention out. Of the mind. Don't try to get rid. Of the rage, You will find that only makes it worse. Just feel it. That might sound like strange advice, Because you're trying to get away from it, Not feel it. It's one of the reasons we go up into the mine. It's actually. . . Paradoxically going into the mind as a distraction from the emotion. So we're actually intentionally going towards the emotion now. Just feel. The rage, How does it actually feel in the present? Might be rough. I know this from experience, It sucks. It's intense, Uncomfortable. Feel like a wannabe. Jump out of my skin. Nasty. But if you simply feel it in its full intensity, The full raw expression. This powerful, Fierce energy of rage but feel it roar. Pure. Unprocessed, No mind stuff added to it, Just feel it as a raw energy. In the present moment, With no narratives attached. And no analysis, So don't interpret the feeling. Don't try to decide if it should be there or shouldn't be there, Just accept that it is there. And it's okay, It's alright that it's there. All emotions are perfectly natural, Perfectly healthy, Perfectly innocent. These are natural life energies. So if you feel it from that perspective in the here and now, We're not trying to get rid of it. Not trying to push it away. Not trying to get away from it. Just accepting that it's here. Feeling the brunt of it. This raw intensity. And just accepting and allowing it to be there. Regardless of what the trigger was. All of that. Images or stories, Words in the mind, Whatever they are. Don't worry about that, Just stay with the emotion itself. Keep breathing nice and deep, Nice and slow. And I'm not saying it's pleasant, That's not what I'm saying, But I'm saying this is how we can begin to. . . Integrate this emotion to allow. For rage and anger to be there, Without getting in the way, Without getting involved. You'll find that emotion. This goes for any emotion. Naturally find its own way home. To its healthy, Correct position in the inner emotional spectrum. It just has to be felt. Has to be allowed to be here. It needs its time in the light of consciousness, In the light of awareness. To rise up. Be felt. Be known, Be seen, Be validated. When it's accepted in this way. It doesn't cause suffering anymore, And it won't cause dysfunction either. You'll find already it's beginning to lose its. . . Its potential. For dysfunction and damage. You no longer feel the need to behave. In an angry or rageful way. You no longer need to go up into the mind. Get involved in all kinds of arguments and fights in imagination. There's just no need to do that. When instead. . . Of turning outwards in the presence of rage we turn inwards. Just allow yourself to feel fully. Continue to breathe. Nice and slow, Nice and deep. You'll find already, Already this is beginning to just. . . Play itself out. You're already feeling more stable. You might still be agitated, Feel quite jumpy, Quite tense, That's fine, That's okay. Keep breathing, Keep accepting, Keep allowing. There's no harm here, There's no damage here. And here begin to hand. This raw experience of rage over to the body. Let the body do whatever it needs to do with this. Perhaps the body needs to shake or twitch. Maybe you feel the need to move in some way or vocalize something or cry. Just let the body do what it needs to do. To dissipate some of this energy. And realise it really is alright to feel this, It's okay. The emotion itself is innocent, Natural, Healthy, It's fine. We only suffer. From the presence of rage psychologically. Because we're so used to repressing it and burying it. When anger is Repressed. Resisted. Chronically avoided, Chronically rejected. That's when it bubbles over into rage. Because of our conditioning, When we detect the presence of rage, We panic, We worry, We think something's gone wrong. Because the world culture doesn't tolerate. Anger. Particularly angry children. So there's never been a. . . Regulated. Framework that can feel. This emotion when a child is feeling it. So we learn to suppress it, To push it down and to bury it. Sadly. Shouldn't be that way, But that's the way it is currently. So that's why when you feel rage, You go up into the mind or you feel like acting out in a certain way. Because you feel like something's gone wrong. And you never learnt a healthy strategy for how to regulate this emotion when it rises, But now you know. No emotion needs to be buried or repressed. They can be accepted, Allowed. And if we stay grounded, Present and conscious. Ultimately, It's a sense of love, Loving the emotion itself. Might sound hard to understand if this is fairly new to you, But it will make sense in time. And even the deepest of our repressed emotions when accepted, Allowed and loved in this way, They are allowed up into the light of conscious awareness. And dissipated. When emotions are free like that, They naturally return home to their healthy correct position in the inner emotional world. I hope you're feeling a little better with this already, Let me know how you get on. Hope some of that's useful. I've suffered with this a lot, Rage. Very internal. I go up into the mind, Get all these storms in the mind, Arguments. Imagining fights and scenarios and stuff. And it all came out of when I started doing deeper healing work and through therapy and just becoming more conscious of previous experiences. Feeling of injustice, It leads to a lot of rage. It's inevitable. Inevitable. It's a necessary, Inevitable part of the healing journey. It's going to happen. But it's also been one of the most liberating things to recognize, To acknowledge that it's there. To learn this way of feeling it. Integrating it into the body, Being present and conscious with it. And then finding that even that emotion It's not damaging. Not destructive. Not dysfunctional. It's our behaviour, Cognitive and physical, That can be damaging, Dysfunctional or destructive. The emotion itself is none of those things. It's fine. It's just a life energy, That's all it is. It's alright to feel this. That's just going to feel weird for a while because that's not what we've been taught. But we only got taught that because the adults didn't know how to regulate it within themselves. They don't know how to help you regulate it as a child. That's why this kind of begins in the first place. Now we're learning deep regulation. Let me know how you get on. Take care, Be well. Stay present.