Crystal Ball

A crystal ball is place in which to gaze to see the future with the wise old woman sitting on the other side. You know the scene. If you haven't seen it in real life, you have seen it in films. We might be intrigued by the contents of the crystal ball but I think we would mostly take it with a pinch of salt. In that situation, we know the future cannot really be told. But we don't always see that truth, do we? When we engage with the contents of our internal crystal ball, it can look so real.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the Calmcast,

A time to feel calm and think clearly.

I'm Claire Downham,

The Queen of Calm,

A transformational life coach.

I was a burnt out head teacher who finally made the journey to calm after years of trying and I want to prevent you from having to do the same.

The Calmcast is a series of short explorations gently guiding you back to your natural state which is calm and clarity.

Just listen like you would listen to music with an open mind and curiosity.

There's nothing else to do.

Now let's relax into today's episode.

So today the crystal ball is my title,

My subject that I'm going to talk about and I don't know when this came to mind fairly recently.

There's something about how we see the future and how we relate to it differently depending on the source of that information about the future.

I know that lots of people are caught up in a story about the future,

Most of the time but particularly now at the end of 2021.

So when we go to the fairground and I don't know if you've ever,

I've actually really seen one of these ladies at the fairground in the old gypsy Roma,

You know,

Curved shaped caravans with the proper horse and everything.

So much mystery and mystique around that isn't there?

And if you haven't seen it in real life you've probably seen it in some kind of film or on television or something.

And so there's usually a jangly curtain that hangs over the door.

So when you open it,

It kind of jingles a little bit.

And when you go inside,

When you see somebody going inside this place on a movie or perhaps you've experienced it yourself,

There's an elderly wise woman sat behind a table with this mystical looking ball on a stand in front of her.

And there's a crossing of a palm with silver.

That's what they usually say.

That's giving her some money to pay for this fortune telling.

And it's called fortune telling.

Isn't that interesting?

It's not called future telling because it's about telling you what good things are coming to you mostly.

That's what they tend to focus on.

And there's something there perhaps in that it is fortune telling.

So I think generally the mystical lady,

She focuses on telling you the wonderful things,

How you're going to come into money or a new car or a new partner perhaps.

She tends to focus on those positive things.

And maybe that's part of this.

I'm just seeing that now.

Maybe that's part of why if we get involved in that,

Generally we're having a giggle with a friend or we're going along for fun.

We're not going because we really think that this lady with a glass ball in front of her can tell us the future.

We're taking it all with a pinch of salt and we may come out giggling and laughing.

And we may remember some of the things she said and laugh when they perhaps pop up in the future sometime seven years later or something.

Oh yeah,

You remember that lady in the caravan?

She told us that was going to happen because some parts of life are,

If you've got a young woman sat in front of you who hasn't got a partner,

Then you say,

Oh,

You're going to meet somebody.

These days that's probably pretty likely anyway.

So they tend to give broad interpretations to ensure that the person goes away with something that does eventually come true in order to keep it going,

I suppose,

As an idea.

But we can take all that,

Like all that we can have a laugh about it.

We can take it with a pinch of salt.

We don't take it that seriously.

We don't then start to behave in the present moment in a way to try and make those things that she's predicted to come true.

We scale with our lives,

Don't we?

And then what unfolds unfolds.

And I guess what I'm just seeing right now is that that's maybe why there's a difference between that where we just think this is just funny.

It's a bit of fun.

And when we start to tell the story of the future,

Because most of our stories of the future don't come from that kind of light jovial place,

Do they?

They come from perhaps a more fear-based story,

Something about the future that's not going to go how we might want it to.

You know,

That kind of thing.

And then in the present moment,

With our belief of this stuff we've made up about the future,

We then start to behave in order to stop it happening or in order to make something happen that's going to be a better outcome.

So that might be to do with making money.

Perhaps if we think we're not going to have enough money or something's going to go wrong with our business,

Then we will be doing something to try and make that happen,

Make something better happen.

And I've seen this so many times in my clients is there's such a believed story about the future that there's no head space to really do the present moment with presence because there's so much of a doing to do to make sure that that horrible,

Horrible future that we've predicted isn't going to come true.

The preventative measures we're taking to prevent something that was never going to happen anyway from happening.

And maybe that's why the crystal ball,

The lady in the fairground with the crystal ball,

We don't take that too seriously because we can see that it's fun and it's light.

But when we start to make up a personal story about the future,

Perhaps because it's fear-based,

It looks like it's warning us about something.

And when we feel that feeling of fear,

That it's such an unpleasant feeling,

When we feel that feeling of fear,

It's really easy to misunderstand it,

That it's a warning because it's the same chemicals kicking off in your body as if an actual saber-toothed tiger is chasing you.

So it confuses our system.

Our system thinks,

Oh,

There's something really,

Right,

What's the thing that's dangerous?

Oh,

It's this thing that we've made up about the future.

So let's do something about that.

It's just a confusion.

It's just a misunderstanding.

And there's a misunderstanding from us about what that feeling means.

And then there is confusion of our body,

Which is kind of going,

Right,

What do we need to do?

What do we,

What's the emergency?

And then in the seeking of the emergency,

We look to this thing we've made about the future.

So it's a really tricky,

Vicious cycle,

Really.

But it's not as tricky as it might seem because it's actually really simple,

Really,

Really simple.

And it's in the moment,

It's remembering that that feeling that you've got that horrible,

Uncomfortable,

Fearful,

Anxious feeling is only giving you ever,

Ever one piece of information.

Your feelings only ever have one piece of information for you.

And that is to tell you about your thinking.

If you have a happy feeling,

You have happy thinking.

I mean,

Try it.

Try to have a happy thought whilst creating an anxious feeling.

You can't do that.

Just doesn't.

It's a direct,

Two sides of the same energetic coin are our thoughts and feelings.

So if you've got,

If you're making up a story about the future,

Which looks really real in the moment,

It's innocently created.

Maybe just remember that it's just a crystal ball.

And the thing that's telling you that it's just a crystal ball is the feeling.

If the feeling is off,

The thinking is off.

Our system has been so beautifully designed to guide us around this.

What an amazing system.

So that in any moment,

You know the state of your mind because you will be feeling that.

It is like those rumble strips on the motorway when you're driving along and you go off and you get the da da da da da da da.

It's just this beautiful guidance system,

Right?

Just get back into lane.

That da da da da da is just telling you you're off a little bit.

Every time you feel an off feeling,

Knowing that that is telling you you have off thinking is just unbelievably powerful and helpful.

And that's actually the only thing you really need to know about your feelings.

You don't need to know anything else.

Wow,

That's just a load off,

Isn't it?

Because I spent years trying to find the source of my feelings and goodness gracious,

What a lot of time I spent.

Well,

A lot of wasted time.

A lot of tiring time looking for the source of my feelings.

Just thought in the moment,

That's all.

Thank you so much for listening.

There's nothing to do now,

But bring some awareness to how this is working out in your life.

Learn regularly to experience longer and longer periods of calm.

This has been the Calmcast with Clare Downham,

Queen of Calm.

Take care and keep listening.