Hello and welcome to the Calmcast,
A time to feel calm and think clearly.
I'm Claire Downham,
The Queen of Calm,
A Transformational Life Coach.
I was a burnt out headteacher who finally made the journey to calm after years of trying and I want to prevent you from having to do the same.
The Calmcast is a series of short explorations gently guiding you back to your natural state,
Which is calm and clarity.
Just listen like you would listen to music with an open mind and curiosity.
There's nothing else to do.
Now let's relax into today's episode.
So today we're exploring purpose because no matter what you're doing in life,
You've probably heard that you're supposed to know your purpose and that that can be transformational in terms of how you live your life.
That once you know your purpose,
You'll bounce out of bed every day full of the joys of spring and create this amazing life.
But maybe you're waiting for that to happen.
And maybe you're spending a lot of time in therapy or maybe in a coaching conversation even exploring what your purpose might be.
Maybe you wake up each day feeling a lack of purpose,
Feeling like there's something missing from your life because you don't have purpose.
Maybe you compare yourself to those people who seem to have a purpose,
Who seem to be doing the thing that they're meant to do in life.
I think we can end up in a place where searching for our purpose becomes our purpose because it becomes that thing that we're doing every single day,
The seeking.
And it's no different to any other seeking because really what we're seeking in this quest for knowing our purpose is feeling better,
Feeling better about ourselves,
Feeling some better sense of self-worth probably,
Feeling like we've finally cracked it,
Feeling happier,
Feeling more content,
Feeling like we've got it at last.
And so this searching for our purpose can become just like another piece of self-development.
It can become another thing to do every day,
To look for our purpose.
But really that's such a lot of thinking about the future,
Isn't it?
First of all,
It's the idea that at some point in the future you are going to come upon a thing and that thing is going to smack you in the face literally and that you will know that that is your purpose and that will be it and you'll just live a happy life.
It's in the future though.
And I have spoken to people and I have seen posts and things out there in the world that are pointing to the feeling of lack that comes from not having this thing called a purpose.
And if we can't talk about our purpose,
We're doomed in some way,
Particularly I think,
I think it probably comes up in the working world,
But I think if you're a business owner,
It's huge.
But what is the future?
And it's nothing.
It's nothing.
It doesn't exist.
We could be waiting our whole lives to find this thing called our purpose.
And in the meantime,
The joy of what could be unfolding in this present moment isn't there.
It's not there.
We're missing it.
It is there.
It's there all the time,
But we're missing it.
We're missing it because we're so engaged in the future,
Looking for this thing so that we can feel okay in the future that we're missing the present moment.
Human beings purpose is not as complicated as that.
It's the words coming out of my mouth right now.
That's my purpose to share these words with you right now,
Standing at my desk.
My purpose is very clear.
It's to talk about purpose,
Which is,
Which is mildly ironic,
I think,
Isn't it?
That's my purpose right now.
That's my job right now.
Now when I finish recording this,
When I finish this session,
There'll be another purpose.
My purpose might be to pick my water bottle up and have a drink because I've been talking a lot this morning and my mouth's quite dry.
That might be my purpose next.
Who knows?
I might go make a cup of tea instead.
In each moment,
A little more gets unfolded,
Doesn't it?
I feel like there is this human life that we're living is unfolding gradually,
Bit by bit,
Moment by moment.
And in every moment there is a possibility to feel purposeful no matter what you're doing.
Imagine that.
Imagine if you just felt everything you were doing was purposeful.
Everything that you were doing was useful,
Part of your purpose.
Maybe fundamentally your purpose is to live in the present moment.
When I think about how my life has unfolded over the last few years,
Because they're the few years I can remember,
Don't ask me to go much further back than that.
The things that have come into my life that have brought me that feeling of being purposeful,
I suppose.
I couldn't have,
I couldn't have found them.
I couldn't have made them happen.
My purpose didn't get found by me.
Moment by moment it has unfolded.
Now I get a sense now of what I enjoy doing and that is having these conversations,
Usually with another person,
Not just talking to myself like I am today.
And that feels like something that brings joy into my life.
It feels like something that,
Where I can help people.
But my purpose is unfolding in every moment and that might change.
It might change.
But today I have a few things to do and they'll be my purpose.
Maybe we're looking for this thing called the purpose in the future and it's not going to come like that.
I think if you look back like I'm considering now is,
You can see that it didn't,
It was not a straight line,
It was not,
Life wasn't like that.
Sometimes our purpose is just to sleep or go for a walk or look after ourselves.
I think anything that we make into a huge,
Massive deal,
Like finding our purpose,
Becomes a shackle around our necks rather than something that enhances our life.
And especially when it's something that we think we're going to get in the future.
That's not helpful.
So enjoy this moment.
Your purpose is to do this moment.
Your purpose right now is probably to just listen to this session.
Listen like you would listen to music and let it wash over you and see what comes up and then see what comes to mind to be your purpose in the next moment.
Don't wait to be happy.
Don't wait to feel purposeful.
Don't look for it happening sometime down the line.
It's not there.
It's here and it's now.
Thank you so much for listening.
There's nothing to do now but bring some awareness to how this is working out in your life.
Listen regularly to experience longer and longer periods of calm.
This has been The Calm Cast with Clare Downer,
Queen of Calm.
Take care and keep listening.
