So here we are eight months in to the global pandemic and I don't know about you but in my country we're currently experiencing a second wave of coronavirus cases.
And it's interesting because six to eight months ago I'll admit I welcomed the additional time to rest,
To focus on my PhD dissertation,
To just be at home.
I didn't imagine eight months later that I'd find myself deeply struggling with feelings of grief and loss,
Fear of the unknown,
The uncertainty of it all.
And I thought,
Well I can't be the only one.
So I'm sharing this talk today as a way to reach out,
As a way to unite,
As a way to validate whatever it is you might be experiencing right now.
And so I started to think and reflect over the last several days,
What is it?
What is making this time so difficult?
And ironically at the same time I'm in the final stages of writing my PhD dissertation,
Currently examining and understanding the Polyvagal theory developed by Dr.
Stephen Porges in 1994.
And something clicked.
And so today's talk is about the role of the Polyvagal theory in navigating COVID-19.
For those of you that may not be familiar with the Polyvagal theory,
I'll provide a very brief background.
We have an incredible survival mechanism within our body and this lives in our primitive brain.
This is our autonomic nervous system.
And the autonomic nervous system is responsible for the involuntary function of the organs in our body.
It keeps our heart beating,
Our lungs breathing,
Our digestion moving.
Could you imagine actually having to ask your heart to beat or your lungs to breathe?
So the autonomic nervous system is incredible.
It keeps us alive.
Within the autonomic nervous system are two different branches.
We have the sympathetic nervous system,
Commonly known as our fight or flight system.
And we have the parasympathetic nervous system,
Known as our rest and digest system.
And these two systems work antagonistically,
They work synergistically,
And they work independently depending on where the nerve fibers are in the body.
But largely there's this reciprocal relationship between our sympathetic and parasympathetic systems to keep our body in a balanced equilibrium.
Our fight or flight system is what we typically focus on the most.
This is our response to danger or threat.
An alarm or stimulus may occur and our body mobilizes,
Becomes activated to fight off or flee the danger.
That means our heart rate quickens,
Our breath increases,
Our pupils dilate.
Fresh oxygen gets poured into our skeletal muscles so we can have the energy to fight or flee.
On the flip side,
When the danger is no longer present,
Our parasympathetic nervous system kicks in to put the brakes on the sympathetic fight or flight system.
And that means we return our heart and our breathing rate to normal values.
Digestion begins again and we feel more regulated and calm.
The interesting thing,
However,
Is that when we experience chronic stressors,
Long-time stress or multiple exposures to shocking or intense traumatic experiences,
The system essentially becomes impeded,
Making it difficult to mobilize us to fight or flee.
And that's where the Polyvago theory comes in.
Dr.
Porges identified that we actually have a second defense strategy over and above our fight or flight response.
And this lives in the structures of our vagus nerve.
Our vagus nerve is one of our cranial nerves and one of the longest nerves in the body.
Over 75% of our parasympathetic nervous system is made up of the vagus nerve,
So it plays such an important role.
And this vagus nerve also consists of two different branches.
We have the dorsal vagal branch and the ventral vagal branch.
And briefly,
You can think of the dorsal vagal branch of the nerve as the nerve fibers that innervate organs below the diaphragm and the ventral vagal branch as the parts of the nerve fibers that innervate organs above the diaphragm.
Our dorsal vagal branch is the most primitive and our ventral vagal complex is a more evolved part of mammals that raise and rear their young.
So if we're experiencing chronic,
Intense stress without the opportunity to move into a regulated,
Calm,
Balanced state,
And our body experiences the stress as being beyond our capacity to cope,
Our dorsal vagal branch will kick in and move us into a state called immobilization or shutdown mode.
What happens is the body senses that the stress exposure is beyond our capacity to fight or flee.
And so the parasympathetic nervous system spikes through lots of chemical hormonal neurotransmitter reactions.
And the result of that is that our heart rate rapidly reduces,
Known as bradycardia,
And our breath rate essentially ceases and we collapse.
We go limp,
We go numb,
We dissociate,
We go into shutdown mode.
The immobilization response is very adaptive because in a way it makes us less viable to a potential perpetrator.
And we can classically view immobilization when we think of a mouse caught in the jaws of a cat.
Typically the mouse looks limp and is flopping around,
Feigning death as if it's not alive.
But in reality this isn't entirely true.
The mouse might currently be in dorsal vagal shutdown.
And this is an adaptive response for two reasons.
One,
If the cat senses that the mouse is in fact dead,
It may loosen its grip or it may even set the mouse down to go search out more food,
Giving the mouse an opportunity to get out of the dangerous situation.
Or two,
If death is imminent for the mouse and the cat will eat the mouse,
This dorsal vagal shutdown state helps the mouse actually dissociate from the sensory and psychological harm of going through death.
And we have this exact same system in our body.
If we find ourselves caught in a dangerous situation that we can't get out of,
Whether we're restrained or it's chronic over a long period of time,
The body has this incredible ability to dissociate,
To separate from the body as an adaptive response so that we don't expose ourselves to the sensory overload or psychological harm of the experience.
Now for anyone that is listening that has gone through immobilization,
This can be extremely confusing,
Challenging,
Uncomfortable,
Because sometimes we often blame ourselves for not being able to be quote unquote strong enough to flee the danger.
And we add all of this cognition to our experience,
The meaning,
The judgment,
The criticism.
But our immobilization response is not something that you consciously choose.
It's your body's way of working for you.
And it's interpreted that the situation you're in is beyond your capacity to fight or flee off.
It works for you automatically.
Now just like the fight or flight response and the rest and digest response,
Our immobilization response does have a safety mechanism as well.
And this is known as our social engagement system.
Dr.
Porges identified that we have the ventral vagal complex that innervates the organs and tissues above the diaphragm,
Such as our larynx and vocal cords,
Our eyes,
Our inner ear,
Striated muscles in the face.
And our social engagement system is an evolved system that also contributes to our sense of safety.
And this sense of safety is really in the presence of other people.
We look to other people for cues of safety in their face,
In their tone of voice.
And so some of the examples of our social engagement system include a mother who sings a soft lullaby to her crying baby.
The tone of the mother's voice will signal cues to the baby that they're safe.
As adults,
We learn to assess whether an individual is safe to approach or not through various nonverbal cues,
Such as their eye contact,
The facial expression on their face,
And their tone of voice.
When somebody is in the immobilization response,
They are not in the social engagement response.
So this might look like a sense of lifelessness behind the eyes.
This might look like a lack of facial expression or a flat affect.
If you're in shutdown mode,
You're unable to hear the voice of somebody who's safe to you and all of the noise in your surroundings might get confusing.
And as human beings,
We are built and hardwired for connection,
Safety,
And belonging with one another.
And so if you've experienced this dorsal vagal shutdown experience,
Particularly multiple times or across childhood,
The strength of your social engagement system might be compromised.
But the good news is,
Is that there are ways to reestablish and strengthen our ventral vagal social engagement system.
And so linking this polyvagal theory to COVID-19,
I can't help but feel that our cues of safety in the presence of one another are being completely blunted right now.
For example,
When you go to the grocery store and everyone's in a face covering or a mask,
It's very difficult to actually see and interpret the facial expression and sense of safety with somebody else.
And it's a double-edged sword because on the one hand,
Protecting ourselves and wearing PPE equipment is necessary right now.
But on the other hand,
Really thinking about how does this impact our sense of safety is a question that I've been wondering.
In addition with our digital space,
We are now more than ever connecting with family and work colleagues over virtual platforms.
And the interesting thing is that we're not actually looking into each other's eyes.
We might be looking at the person's eyes on the screen,
But there isn't the reciprocal feedback that you are connected through eye contact,
Yet another important component of our sense of safety.
With the face coverings and PPE,
The voice of an individual might be muffled.
We can't see the mouth move.
We can't see the articulation.
And we can't see the subtle cues of,
I'm with you right now.
I hear you.
And so I personally believe that collectively across the globe,
Our social engagement system is slowly bit by bit being completely eradicated.
And I believe this is what is leading to the spike in stress,
The spike in the shutdown mode,
The spike in aggressive outbursts,
Impulsive reactive behaviors.
And so the question remains,
How do we in the face of the pandemic continue to maintain,
Sustain or build our social engagement system?
Now more than ever,
We need to be paying attention to our nonverbal cues.
If you find yourself out and about having to wear a mask,
It's essential that you use what you can to communicate,
I'm a safe person.
I'm approachable.
That could mean raising the eyebrows.
That could mean over emphasizing your smile through the eyes.
That could mean a conscious effort to look people in the eye.
It could mean increasing the volume of your voice,
Not the intensity of your tone to express clearly through your tone of voice that it's safe to talk to you.
It could mean sitting with your posture and moving towards a more open,
Approachable posture,
Which means the chin is lifted,
The shoulders are back,
The arms might be expanded.
When we're in that dorsal vagal state,
Our posture is usually collapsed,
Our shoulders shrug inwards,
The chin is tucked.
We usually look downwards wanting to be invisible and small.
And so it's really important that you model this behavior for your family,
For your students,
For your community.
Another suggestion that is very simple is the random act of kindness of simply asking,
How are you doing,
Acknowledging the difficulty of the current times we find ourselves in and reaching out in any way you can to say,
Hey,
I know this is hard right now.
I'm thinking of you.
I hope you're all right.
How are you?
Another option to return yourself to a sense of safety is remembering that the only relationship that you have for your entire life is the one with yourself.
And so spending time with yourself,
Connecting,
Whether it's through mindfulness,
Whether it's through your favorite activity,
Whether it's through play or creativity.
We can learn so much from our younger generation about becoming immersed in play and self-expression.
And,
You know,
With my own clients,
I always ask the question,
What are you doing that makes you feel most alive?
Or what was it that you did as a child because you loved it so much?
And lots of beautiful answers have come from this,
From singing to dancing to woodworking to working on cars to hikes in the forest,
Baking,
Playing a sport,
Spending time with pets.
So many beautiful answers.
And when I follow up and say,
When was the last time you did that?
Often the response is,
Oh,
I don't do that anymore.
Or I don't have time for that.
And so if we're going to get through this next phase of the pandemic,
I think it is really important that we reestablish a sense of creativity and self-expression with ourselves.
And I know this doesn't happen overnight and lots of obligations and changes might get in the way of this.
But it starts with one more moment than the day before.
And so this idea of building more moments of play,
Creativity and self-expression,
What does that look like for you?
I would love to hear in the comments what you came up with and perhaps grow a list so long.
So that people who come to this talk and might find themselves struggling with feeling connected right now have multiple suggestions and recommendations from this amazing community.
So I want to thank you for listening today.
Listening to me try to make sense of the disconnection and isolation that is very pervasive right now.
And I really think when we consider Dr.
Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory,
It starts to make sense.
So with that in mind,
I thought I would end with a very short connected practice where we can connect with ourselves just for a few moments.
Taking a couple of moments to find yourself in a comfortable seated or lying down position,
Whatever feels most comfortable for you.
Tuning into the physical tone of the body,
Perhaps noticing what it might feel like to drop the shoulders just a little bit more away from the ears.
Focusing the forehead and space between the eyebrows,
Unclenching the jaw,
Allowing the body to soften into the spaces that are connected to a solid surface.
See if it feels right for you,
Gently taking the eyes to a close.
And if you'd like,
See if you can place one or both hands directly over your heart.
And time here,
Breathing into your heart space.
Noticing without judgment,
Any sensations,
Any thoughts,
Any emotions that arise to the surface and returning your attention to your breath as we just continue to hold space for this moment of connection with ourselves.
As you draw your awareness to your breath,
Remember that there's no right or wrong way that you need to breathe right now.
And just tuning into this moment as it's unfolding.
Without judgment,
Without feeling the need to fix or change.
You may notice the mind begin to start its chatter and just simply acknowledge what may have took you out of this connected moment.
And gently,
Compassionately,
Return your attention back to your breath as we remain connected here,
Hands to heart.
If you find yourself in the midst of uncertainty,
Feeling disconnected,
Isolated or lonely,
Remember that it starts with connection with yourself.
We cannot seek connection solely through the extrinsic world.
We must learn moment by moment,
Bit by bit to strengthen the connection we have with ourselves.
To tell ourselves that we matter.
We are worthy of our own attention,
Our own love,
Our own connection.
And when that familiar gripping feeling of fear or anxiety or racing thoughts comes to the surface,
That's our cue to pause,
To hold ourselves in connection and tell ourselves you are safe here.
You are safe here.
Spend as much time as you'd like with this gentle heart connection,
Knowing that the ripple effect outwards is beyond what we can even imagine.
We are connected and grounded within ourselves.
We hold space for others to feel connected and grounded.
And so the world needs your connection today.
Thank you for tuning in today and considering the ways that you might reconnect with the truest part of who you are through mindfulness or through the activities in your life that make you come alive.
My hope for you today is to return to your sense of authentic presence.
Thank you for tuning in today.
