Hello and welcome to today's daily insight.
I'm Andrea Wachter.
And I'm Steve Legolais.
And in today's meditation,
We will be focusing on self-parenting,
How to treat yourself and speak to yourself in the ways that you wish you would have been treated and spoken to as a child.
We hope this practice will enhance your ability to practice self-care and self-compassion in many ways.
So what exactly do we mean by self-parenting?
Self-parenting relates to our internal dialogue and the many ways that dialogue influences the manner in which we view,
Treat,
And care for ourselves.
Not only does our style of self-parenting affect our behavior,
But it also greatly influences our identity and our sense of worthiness and competence.
The ways in which we self-parent are often unconscious,
Deeply programmed,
And tends to resemble the style and values of the caregiving that we received growing up.
Now,
Some people were fortunate enough to have had excellent parenting.
And if they can treat themselves the way that they were treated,
They have all the makings of a healthy foundation for self-parenting.
Others were not so fortunate,
And the best that their caregivers were able to give them was quite lacking.
If the way that you were raised left you frequently being self-critical and feeling insecure and worthless,
It is not too late to change.
We can change the legacy of unconscious parenting by consciously and compassionately parenting ourselves.
You may be familiar with the bumper sticker that says,
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
Well,
Of course,
We can't literally go back in time,
But we can learn to tend to our own feelings and needs in all the ways we wish we had been tended to,
In all the ways we wish our caregivers had been tended to so that they could have passed along a legacy of conscious parenting.
No matter what kind of upbringing you experienced or what kind of self-parenting style you may have adopted up until now,
It's never too late to treat yourself like a conscious,
Compassionate parent would treat you.
In a moment,
We are going to be listing some of the behaviors and attitudes of a conscious,
Compassionate parent.
We will be doing this in an affirmation format,
So you can hopefully repeat each one and imagine giving yourself these parenting gifts on a regular basis.
So please repeat after us.
I listen to myself with empathy and understanding.
I validate all my feelings.
I strive to be accepting and non-shaming.
I challenge my unkind thoughts.
I comfort myself with kindness and compassion.
I am patient with myself.
I make sure that my physical needs are met.
I set loving limits with myself and others when needed.
I can also be flexible at times.
I take important things seriously,
But I can also be playful.
I forgive myself when I fall short of my values.
I reach out for help when needed.
Good.
So how would you rate yourself on the conscious self-parenting front?
Many people find it challenging to lovingly parent themselves,
And yet when they imagine how they would treat a child or even a pet that they adore,
Their clarity becomes crystal clear.
So how do you tend to your feelings and needs?
You speak to yourself in the way that you would speak to a child you love?
You treat your body the way that you would treat a child that you adore?
Are you questioning and challenging any unkind thoughts the same way that you would if an innocent child had told you that they were thinking the same way?
See if you can practice treating and speaking to yourself in all the loving ways that you wish your caregivers would have spoken to you.
So let's practice now.
In a few moments,
We'll be reciting some loving parenting messages.
You can simply listen and try to absorb the messages,
Or you can repeat them back to yourself silently or out loud.
If any emotions come up while you're listening,
We hope you'll try to welcome them with deep compassion and kindness.
So make sure you're in a comfortable position.
You can close your eyes if they're not already closed.
Take a few nice,
Deep breaths.
See if you can allow your body to relax into the surface beneath you.
Give your body complete permission to relax and unwind.
Relax your facial muscles,
Your neck and shoulders.
Allow your arms and hands to soften and release any tightness or tension.
Allow all the muscles in your back to relax.
Let your entire body relax into the surface beneath you.
Now bring your awareness inside your body to any sensations that may be occurring right now.
See if you can notice and welcome any emotions or sensations and witness them with compassion and non-judgment.
See if you can take in these loving parenting messages for your current self,
Your younger self,
Or whatever emotion or experience you may be having right now.
You are loved.
You are lovable.
You belong here.
You matter.
You matter.
I really see you.
I really see you.
You are special.
You are special.
I care about you deeply.
I care about you deeply.
You have permission to be exactly who you are.
You have permission to be exactly who you are.
You are lovable no matter what you are feeling.
You are lovable no matter what you are feeling.
Your feelings and needs matter.
Your feelings and needs matter.
You can trust your inner voice.
You can trust your inner voice.
I see your strength.
I see your strength.
I see your courage.
I see your courage.
You are completely safe right now.
You are completely safe right now.
I have confidence in you.
I have confidence in you.
It's okay to feel weak or vulnerable at times.
It's okay to feel weak or vulnerable at times.
You don't have to be perfect.
You don't have to be perfect.
You can trust your heart.
You can trust your heart.
You are worthwhile.
You are worthwhile.
You are enough.
You are enough.
You get to be just how you are.
You get to be just how you are.
Good.
Now returning your attention back to your surroundings.
Notice any sounds around you.
Notice your body breathing.
See if you can follow a few breaths all the way in and out.
If you'd like,
You can give your body a little stretch.
We hope you will absorb and consciously practice these compassionate self-parenting messages on a regular basis.
Thank you so much for joining us today.
