Hello everybody and welcome.
Today we are going to talk about repressed emotions and our approach towards emotion in general.
What are emotions?
Emotions are energy in motion.
They are energy that flows.
Rises.
Through us.
Wants to be felt,
Wants to be expressed,
And then they go,
And then they get released.
Emotion are not our identity.
We cannot identify with emotions.
We feel emotions.
They are way better.
That come through us and find its expression through us,
But then they leave.
So emotions.
Does not defined us.
We are not anger,
But we feel anger.
We are not sadness,
But we feel sad.
In our life,
I see.
.
.
In my career and in my professional experience,
But also in my personal experience.
I realized that a lot of people struggle with emotions.
And this is because.
.
.
We haven't really been taught.
How to have a functional relationship with emotions.
Many of us grow up with the idea that emotions are something difficult to manage.
Even dangerous.
And in adult life I see people and also it happened in my personal life.
People that feel completely overwhelmed by emotions and they would do anything possible not to feel them and when they feel emotion they get so overwhelmed that emotion kind of possess them.
And the emotion puts them completely out of center,
Out of balance,
It feels like.
They cannot stay anchored,
They just get stuck.
Possess them.
By emotions.
Other people just doesn't want to feel.
Negative emotions they want only to feel good emotions and they come to and they come to me or to other specialists asking just fix me i don't want to feel this anymore i don't want to feel bad anymore i don't want to feel this side of the spectrum anymore and there are other people that just try everything not to feel They want to disconnect completely by feeling.
They just want to run away from feeling.
All together.
And the do that by keep distracting themselves with social media,
With buying,
With work,
With substances with anything that they can find to distract themselves from feeling.
As we were saying before,
Emotional waves are energy in motions,
And what happens if we repress an emotion?
Think about a volcano that is about to erupt and then we put a stone on top of it.
It's not that the lava is going to disappear,
But it simply will come out in another side with another look maybe.
And this is what happened with emotion.
When we don't allow emotion to complete the cycle,
They stay trapped in our body and they manifest with autoimmune disease,
Anxiety.
Um.
.
.
Panic attacks and many other symptoms of other diseases.
So everything that we repressed persists.
But why do we repress the emotion so much?
And why do we have so many struggles with emotion?
Why we struggle so much with them?
We can find this answer in childhood.
When we were little,
You know,
We didn't just start to learn about the world and we didn't just,
You know,
Start to create all those relationships with the external world,
But we also started to learn the relationship with our inner world.
And that's why I feel there is this huge link between spirituality.
And emotions,
Because.
.
.
Everything is about relationships.
Real spirituality,
It's about relationships.
When we come out of the womb of our mother,
We are immediately forced into this ecosystem and we have to develop healthy and functional relationship with everything,
With oxygen,
With food,
With mother figure,
With father figure,
With the external world,
With internal world,
With abundance,
With creativity,
With others,
With self.
And so.
.
.
The quality of our relationships with all those things will determine the outcome.
Quality of our life.
What happened in.
.
.
Childhood,
When we start to experience emotion,
Is not easy.
Imagine a baby when he starts to have The first encounter with big emotion is not easy and we need guidance.
We need a parent and people who help us to deal with emotion,
That want to have the patience to teach us how to regulate,
How to manage and deal with emotions,
But this is not often the case.
We often are completely left alone.
The child creates associations.
So when the child starts to feel those emotions,
The child starts to,
For the first time,
To experience anger,
Sadness,
And all the emotions.
He sees what happens in the environment when he has those big emotions.
And so when a child is for the first time experiencing anger or frustration or sadness um he has no choice if not feeling completely uh you know like invested almost like from the body.
And,
You know,
The mother helped the child to.
.
.
Of feeling it's safe.
But when a child instead starts to feel emotions and the environment.
Around him make him feel that he is too much or he is dismissed.
Are punished.
The child start to feel like that feeling emotion is actually dangerous.
Because for a child,
The most important thing is being accepted,
Is being loved.
It's been nurtured.
And when he sees that his own emotions have a bad reaction,
People around him has a bad reaction towards his emotions.
He feels threatened and he will repress what he feels in order to be loved and accepted.
And so his body starts to create this association,
Like feeling and expressing my feelings,
It's safe,
Or feeling and expressing my feelings and my emotions are actually unsafe.
And when we learn that feeling,
Or those emotions were ignored,
Dismissed,
Diminished,
Or created.
Trouble in the environment.
We become also very distant from our emotions.
We create a disconnection from our body.
We create this association that feelings being in the body.
It's actually very dangerous and we create a huge distance from our body and its needs and its messages.
Because emotions are actually messages.
So this is not a conscious choice,
It's biological and relational programming.
We did not choose to shut down,
It's just our body was programmed.
For survival.
And you learn that feelings could cost connections.
For a child,
Losing connection means losing everything.
And in this way we create this huge disconnection from the body and we And we,
And weem.
Find safety in the mind because here is when we over mentalize is when we want to control everything that we want to skip feeling by thinking.
And we create.
This.
Dissonance because.
.
.
Living and being alive,
It's feeling,
It's not thinking.
When I say I am Alice,
I don't say I am Alice,
Because I am not my thought and my existence,
My essence,
My body,
My vitality is not here,
Is here.
This is my essence.
Here is where I am,
Is where I feel,
Is what I feel and what I radiate.
This is might person.
This is where I exist.
I don't exist here.
I exist here.
The mind is a problem-solving machine.
The mind has to be at the service of the body.
The body has a need.
The body is communicating something.
I'm thirsty,
The mind is like,
Okay,
Let me go and find a glass of water.
The body is feeling unsafe,
The mind finds a way to feel safe.
The body,
The heart is telling you,
Oh,
I would like this,
I would like that,
And the mind goes and find a way to get it.
Instead we live in a society because we are so disconnected from the body and its need and what it's feeling.
That we have a mind that actually works against us,
Not us.
For us.
Instead.
To be vital and to be real,
Healthy and we need to be in the body,
We need to feel and we need to have a mind that is at service of the body.
So this programming that happens in childhood does not disappear and in adulthood we unconsciously keep repeating the same thing.
Because the body prefers what is familiar.
The body prefers a familiar place.
Hell compared to an unfamiliar paradise.
So the way we were imprinted,
The way we were programmed towards our emotions,
That pattern,
That dynamic towards our emotion keep repeating in adulthood.
So we might seek control through the mind or we seek distraction not to feel.
We feel totally disconnected from the body.
And we keep recreating this emotional dysfunctional pattern.
So maybe we shut down where we're supposed to open,
We hold back instead of expressing.
Um.
.
.
We distract ourselves inside of feeling,
We seek love.
But we end up always seeking the same dysfunctional love that was given to us in childhood.
So what you call a block today,
It was actually intelligence.
The body was trying to save you.
So we have to be thankful and not angry to our body because our body was just trying to keep us safe at all costs.
And so in order to keep us safe,
If it was better to ignore or repress the emotions,
This is what we do.
But the body is just trying to keep us safe.
So we need to take care and become aware of when it's happening.
And instead of being angry at it,
Being like,
I see you,
I see what you're doing,
You are trying to keep me safe,
You are trying to repeat the same pattern because you are seeking safety.
So you are not broken,
You are just organized around emotional survival.
Another thing that connects.
Repress emotion with spirituality.
Is that.
Every time.
During our childhood,
We were repressed by emotions because we were in danger otherwise.
That emotion can come out as a disease,
As an autoimmune disease,
As anxiety,
Panic attack,
Etc.
,
But also it can stay seated and stagnant along the chakras.
This is what I help clients with.
It could be that a lot of emotion that doesn't complete the cycle and each one of us have plenty,
Plenty of moment in which we haven't expressed an emotion and we repressed it and this emotion decided to sit in one of our chakras.
Chakras are like portal of energy and so if half of the chakra is occupied by this stagnant energy we understand that the chakra have half of capacity so half of the chakra is full of alive and life force energy moving and the other side is blocked by this stagnant emotional energy energy that is sitting there.
And so.
.
.
Through some techniques.
I help people to release them.
And when we do this,
We make our body much lighter and we create space for the energy to come back.
Flow more freely without all those blockages.
So.
.
.
We didn't feel these emotions because it wasn't safe.
And this is what I help clients with as well.
When we finally help the body to understand that feeling safe.
It's possible.
Feeling and experiencing emotion it's safe we might have 30,
50,
60 years of repressed emotion,
The calm knocking at the door and they're like,
Oh,
Okay,
It's my turn now.
Now you feel safe enough.
To feel me.
In your energy field waiting to be felt.
So when finally the body become safe and independent.
We create the protocol to reach that,
We might have a lot of repressed emotions that come knocking at the door.
And,
You know,
In the beginning it can look like we're getting worse because we are being hit by these waves of all sorts of different emotions.
In reality is a good sign because it means that finally the body feels safe enough to allow all the emotion that were suspended to come on and get.
.
.
Process them released.
So it's actually a very good sign.
Um and issues.
Where I bring people to because Imaginary,
Okay?
A tree that has very little roots,
That tree is not really safe because a little bit of wind,
A little storm and the tree will fall down.
Okay,
So at three.
In order to support growth,
In order to support.
Flowers and fruit and leaves and abundance,
He needs to be able to hold that.
And so If a tree have little roots it will only be able to support a few leaves.
Here and there,
You know,
Because.
.
.
He can actually hold more.
And every time the weather change.
With good weather or bad weather,
You know,
He knows that bad weather will be a threat every time.
A little bit of wind,
A little storm and the tree will fall.
And this is the same for us.
What we are here to do is not to rush at the end result,
Like I want the fruit,
I want abundance,
I want a happy life,
I want leaves and fruit and flowers,
But we need to start with the foundation.
We need to grow enough roots.
We need to feel safe and grounded.
First.
In this way.
We will be able to handle a storm or a sunny day.
Without.
Feeling.
Threatened.
Without going into desperation or hopelessness immediately at every change of wind.
So when we become that very strong tree,
That has really big roots.
The three understand that negative emotions and positive emotions are temporary and they are not who we are.
The trees understand that to grow and be strong,
He needs the storm,
He needs heavy rain,
But he also needs sun.
And so the tree becomes so centered and so grounded that he can play with these two sides of life.
And this is what we have to do too.
We have to become that tree.
That tree is so safe,
Is so secure,
That he's not afraid of bad emotion and good emotion.
And we understand that we are not bad emotions or good emotions.
They are just temporary and they come to us to serve us.
Emotions,
Positive and negative,
Have a message for us.
And that's why they're really important for us.
When we get angry,
It means our boundaries go across.
If we are really sad.
Somebody created an injustice.
There is always a message in all the spectrum.
And when we are not afraid of emotions anymore,
We understand that we are safe in feeling them both because they are not our identity.
Then we can create the right foundation.
It's through good and bad emotions that we create a strong and centered system.
That can juggle and play with emotion.
Emotion becomes our servant.
They are here for us.
They're not here against us and it's safe to feel.
We won't die.
When we feel.
So that's why with clients I work on creating this strong foundation.
We cannot jump ahead and go to the results.
First,
We need to build a foundation that can then hold the results.
And if you cannot handle your emotions.
Your life.
How can the universe give you more?
It won't,
Because first you need to be able to be fine and at peace.
With the basic,
Then the universe can give you more,
Maybe.
This is why it's so important to.
.
.
Release.
All the emotions,
But also creating a functional relationship with our inner world of emotions.
Because feeling is living.
Being alive doesn't mean thinking.
Being alive means feeling.
And so when we avoid feeling.
We are half alive.
How we re-educate our body to have a functional relationship towards emotions.
We start by gentle repetition.
Think about a little child that comes to you saying,
I don't know,
I'm angry,
I'm afraid,
I'm scared,
I'm sad.
How would you react?
You wouldn't just say,
Oh,
You know.
Forget about it,
Contain it please,
You wouldn't push it away,
You wouldn't tell it to stop,
But you would become softer.
You would become sweeter.
You would slow down.
You would say,
Oh,
I see you.
I validate what you're feeling.
Express it.
Tell me about it.
And then you would give it warmth.
And support and you will find a solution.
What do you need?
How can I help you?
You would offer a deeper level of presence.
You would offer a space you would be able to hold.
This space because the child is possessed right now by these emotions.
He's overwhelmed and so.
.
.
You would give the child a sense of being held and supported through this difficult and big emotion.
This is the same quality.
Presence that your emotions are needed from you.
We can start by when we Become aware.
Emotions.
Rising.
And instead of running away,
Distracting yourself or using your usual coping mechanism,
Just remain one minute longer.
This is a good start.
And the body through repetition,
You realize,
Oh,
Minute longer by minute longer.
The body realizes through repetition that actually feeling is not dangerous.
I can stay.
I can listen.
I can give to this emotion a different approach,
A motherly reaction.
So your capacity to handle emotions increases through repetition.
This capacity is not forced but it expands and it expands when the body can finally experience something,
Can experience an emotion rising and falling without destroying you.
The body starts to create a new association.
Like feeling,
It's safe.
But it's not easy.
The body will create a lot of resistance.
That's why people need support.
Super afraid that It's gonna be dangerous.
So it will resist.
With all it can.
Because again,
The body prefers the known hell,
Even if it's dysfunctional.
Because it kept us alive compared to an unknown paradise,
Because in the unknown,
It's risky.
And so the body perceives it dangerous.
Even if in the unknown paradise there are healthier dynamics.
Anyway,
Thank you so much for listening.
I hope that this was interesting and see you next time.
