Day 12: Soul Retrieval - Finding the Self Who Was Waiting

Hello,

Welcome back to 30 days of soul curriculum through the lens of my soul art journey because it all mirrors what everybody's going through in their own transformations.

So welcome,

Welcome.

Today I'm going to be talking a little bit about soul retrieval because when you're on a soul art journey,

As I was,

You are in that journey until the final spirit action or inspired action that comes from the insights throughout the journey.

It starts with an intention.

Mine was I am showing up for myself and then it's creating the art.

There was a lot of space in the creation of art and then it comes into working with the art and everything that's happening around.

And then there's a space while you finish the spirit action and all through that space you are really being given information.

I'm being given information.

I am seeing signs.

I'm in awareness.

I'm in consciousness.

And by the way,

I'm still in the soul art journey.

My spirit action hasn't finished yet.

One of the things that happens because I was on this,

I'm still on the solar journey,

But it's been weeks is I've had a few soul shamanism classes and I've been practicing soul shamanism with my teacher for four years.

And one of those journeys was a soul retrieval for me.

And I bring it up relationship to this journey because it happened during this journey.

It happens during my time in this journey.

And which means it has information for me.

It has my awareness and my consciousness is with it,

Right?

And remember my intention is I am showing up for myself.

So we'll be talking about that today,

But let's just get a little bit grounded wherever you are.

Just close your eyes and feel the weight of your body.

Feel the bones,

The muscles,

The weight of your body.

Feel how you're sitting on the support beneath you.

Feel this human body that your soul is living within and take a breath.

You might want to sigh it out.

Feel the air,

The energy,

The breath,

All going out through your body.

You might even bring some awareness to where your body moves when you're breathing.

Feel the constant presence of breath.

Breath brings us into the present,

Right?

Feel how the breath moves within the body,

Bringing you into the present moment.

Inhaling through your nose and sighing it out with sound or you don't have to use sound.

And one more time.

Inhaling through your nose.

Exhaling with a sigh through your mouth.

And just for a minute,

Allow your awareness to scan for parts of yourself,

Versions of yourself from different times.

Maybe when you were a teenager or maybe when you were younger than that.

Maybe when you were in your early 20s and just see if there's any forgotten pieces of yourself that are asking to be called back.

And you don't have to think about it.

When we're working in things like soul retrieval,

You're trusting your instincts.

You're trusting your intuition.

You're trusting what comes up.

You're knowing.

So just allowing yourself to scan through your life.

Are there pieces and versions of yourself that you've left on the side of the road?

Maybe not purposely.

Maybe life just took over.

And then just keep that version of yourself in the back of your mind,

In your heart,

In your knowing,

In your belly as I talk about my experience.

So I was in the middle of this soul art journey and I was in the phase where I didn't actually make a spirit action yet.

Yesterday we talked about the timelessness.

Time was just,

I was with my family,

With my home,

With my hearth taking care of my kids and it was my soul time,

Right?

And I had my soul shamanism class.

I found myself in a part of my book.

My book is The Midnight Carnival and I saw myself in an environment in my book called The Carousel.

Now for those of you who know,

My parents died seven days apart in 2021 and I'm still navigating that grief,

Right?

I'm still making friends with it.

I'm still being held in that grief.

And The Carousel in the book is where you meet the people who have passed to say the things that you didn't get to say,

To have that time with them.

And in my book,

In that carousel,

I meet my parents.

But in my journey,

When I went on that carousel,

My parents were there.

I didn't actually go to them.

I saw a version of myself,

A 15-year-old self,

And she was very,

Very frantic.

And she was like going around and she couldn't see anything.

She's just running around in this circle,

Running around,

Running around in this circle and really like unsettled,

Right?

And I sat,

I stood outside the carousel and I watched her running around the carousel and I realized it was my 15-year-old self.

And I went onto the carousel and I grabbed her hands and I looked her in the eye and I brought her back home.

This was part of my soul retrieval.

I realized that my intention for my solar journey is I am showing up for myself,

But I had left my 15-year-old self on the carousel waiting to be found,

Waiting to be taken back,

Right?

I ended up doing a lot of work around this 15-year-old self.

And when I was 15,

No one showed up for me.

I mean,

I had great parents,

But they were in their own stuff.

They didn't understand what I was going through.

It was a time of my life when I was in,

And it was domestic violence relationship with someone who was 21.

There was so much going on in my life that no one showed up for me.

I tried my hardest to show up for myself,

But I couldn't.

And it was this journey,

This,

I am showing up for myself that brought that back.

So I was on the carousel.

I looked myself in the eye and I brought myself back to my life to be part of me again,

Because showing up for myself is showing up for all the parts of me.

Even those parts that I forgot about,

Those parts that took off,

I was left lonely in a lot of ways.

And since then I created an altar for my 15-year-old self to feel like she could come home,

Right?

I was listening to music that I listened to around that time.

I was holding her in my heart.

Well,

The parts of ourselves that we have forgotten along the way,

And maybe this is your call,

Your perfect timing to bring back those parts of yourself.

So let's just go on a little bit of a search.

Closing your eyes.

I just want you to bring into your mind a time when maybe you felt abandoned.

Maybe no one showed up for you.

Maybe you were left behind.

Maybe you were forgotten.

And just breathe into that time of your life,

Inhaling and exhaling.

Every inhale expands that time.

Every exhale brings it back to its center.

Maybe it's a younger version of yourself.

Maybe it's just from two or three years ago.

Maybe you got lost in difficult circumstances or a lot of energy and emotion.

And just breathe with this version of yourself.

And while you're breathing with it,

Open up your senses.

Open up all of your senses.

What are the sensations across your skin,

Within your heart?

Breathe into that time.

Inhaling and exhaling.

Notice if you get any visuals.

Do you see any symbols,

Any colors,

Any faces,

Any words?

Do you hear anything?

Do you hear a melody,

A song,

A voice,

A whisper?

Do you hear the sound of the ocean?

Do you smell anything?

Are there any aromas present in this time?

Do you taste anything?

And just for a moment,

See yourself clearly at this time.

How old are you?

You don't have to make sense of it.

You don't have to know the details.

Can you see how old you are?

What are you doing?

What do you need?

Breathe into it.

Inhaling,

Expanding,

And exhaling.

Getting to that core.

Keeping your senses open.

And might you imagine yourself right now,

Right here,

Approaching that version that might have been lost or abandoned or forgotten or left behind.

And approaching this version of yourself with love,

With an open heart.

Looking this version of yourself in the eye.

Remember to breathe.

Each inhale,

Expansion,

And each exhale,

Getting to the core of that thread.

Let that version of yourself know they are not forgotten.

Is there something you want to say?

Is there a gesture you want to make?

Maybe you just want to be in silence with this part of yourself.

Maybe you want to tell them what you've been doing.

Maybe you want to tell them that you miss them,

That you're here.

Inhaling,

Exhaling,

Contracting to the core.

You might feel like you want to reach out and hug them,

Hold their hand,

Put your hand on their heart.

And might you imagine you taking them into your safe space,

Your own place.

It might be for you a lake.

It might be your home.

It might be a sanctuary.

You might walk into the forest.

Feel their energy returning to you.

Feel that version of yourself,

That energy returning to you in a safe way,

In a place of safety,

Your sanctuary,

Your refuge.

Inhaling,

Expanding that safety around them.

Exhaling,

Pulling them further into your heart.

Inhaling,

Expanding the safety,

The security,

The love.

Exhaling back to the heart.

Might you just for a minute feel the knowing that they belong with you now.

Perfect timing.

You can remember them into the present.

You are bringing that version of yourself home.

So just breathing,

I'm going to ask a few questions and you can let them float around.

You can grab onto one,

Whatever you need.

What forgotten parts of yourself are waiting for you to remember them?

When in your life did you feel most abandoned and what does that part of you need now?

How can you show up for the younger versions of yourself that still need your love?

You have everything they need.

So take a nice breath in through your nose.

Sigh it out.

Maybe you move your hands,

Your shoulders,

Your head around your shoulders.

Maybe you put a hand on your heart.

Thank you.

Gratitude.

You're so strong.

You are ready to bring these pieces back that have been abandoned.

And you are ready to show up for yourself fully,

To show up fully for yourself.

And that includes all versions of yourself.

And when you bring them in,

Into that safety that you hold now,

You can begin to bring it all together.

You have the power to retrieve these parts of yourself,

These versions of yourself,

The ones that were left,

The ones that need your love,

Right?

And you might want to create an altar.

You might want to go and walk and speak out loud with that part of yourself.

Have a conversation while you walk around the which is what I often do.

You might want to write,

Automatically write with that version of yourself for a little while.

Now that it's here,

It's present,

Right?

What do you need?

Whatever you want to say.

You might just want to be in the quiet,

In the dark,

And feel that energy coming back,

Beginning to thread and weave into your energy through that safe,

Secure place of who you are now.

You got to trust what comes home to you.

Surrender to this beautiful life.

We are amazing as human beings.

All of the forgotten parts of us,

They carry gifts that we need now,

Right?

They carry pieces that are so beautiful for our present journey.

So don't forget about those.

Thank you so much for coming along with me today.

I hope that throughout the day,

Maybe you remember,

Maybe a pieces of versions of yourself come back to settle in.

Or maybe it's a song that you hear that you haven't heard since that time.

Or maybe it's a story or part of your imagination that you had forgotten with that version of yourself.

Just be aware,

Just remain conscious.

You don't have to put your thoughts on it at all.

Just be open to having opened this door today.

Open to what comes through.

Open to what thoughts come,

Right?

What sensations come.

Be conscious and aware.

That's all.

That's all.

We are conscious and aware because we are the most brilliant human beings.

We really are.

Spend a little time with the magic,

My friends.

Namaste.