Some days,
Meditation can seem like a chore.
It can feel like you are totally out of focus for the entire session.
That your mind is wandering out of control,
And that it is all you can do to stop yourself from getting up from the mat and ending the session early.
Perhaps you are plagued by embarrassing memories,
Finding yourself bombarded by strong emotions,
Or are simply falling asleep.
For whatever the reason,
That meditation session just sucked.
Please do not stress,
This happens to everyone.
It is not a sign of regression,
Or that you are meditating incorrectly.
The truth is,
Is that you can only have the meditation that you are having.
Whatever happens,
Happens.
And that is okay.
Of course,
Some sessions will feel amazing.
Euphoria,
Joy and insight often flow from our practice,
And these can be quite enticing.
The problem comes when we start to hunt for,
Or crave,
Those good feelings.
Or when we use those feelings as a marker of success.
The fact is,
Your meditations will not always be so rosy,
And it is likely that striving for certain feelings will actually cause some of you to rest.
At the very least,
Doing so is not an act of mindfulness.
Remember,
Mindfulness is the awareness that arises from purposely paying non-judgmental attention to the present moment.
Some moments are unpleasant.
Running away,
Avoiding or blocking off negative mental states rarely works,
Particularly as a long-term solution for mental stability.
They always come back,
Often with a vengeance.
A better approach is to turn and face your inner world,
For what it is,
As it is,
In that moment.
It may be unpleasant,
Confronting or boring,
But it is what is happening,
And you are being impacted by it.
The good news is that the skills acquired for mindfulness meditation are in fact the perfect antidote to a troubled mind.
With practice and proper application,
They will stop you from being at the mercy of your thoughts,
Allowing you to better manage the mental storm fronts that risk ruining your meditation sessions,
And even more importantly,
Ruining your day.
The next time you find yourself struggling through a bad session,
Try the following.
Start by reminding yourself that you can only have the meditation that you are having,
And that your goal is not to force yourself to feel good,
But rather to simply observe what is happening.
From there,
You could choose to turn and face the challenging mental state.
The first step is to simply accept what is happening without judgment.
You do not need to understand why those thoughts are arising,
Or find any hidden meanings,
Nor do you need to drive them out or block them off.
Then you could choose to change your meditation object to those thoughts themselves.
Really look at them.
Where are they coming from?
Where do they go?
How strong are they?
Do they come with emotions,
Memories,
Or other feelings?
What is your default response to them?
What do they make you want to do?
Take some time and really feel it out.
You can do so with the knowledge that what you are currently feeling will not last.
None of your previous bad mental states were permanent,
And neither will this one be.
With those assurances,
You can confidently turn and face the reality of your mind.
And the good news is,
Is that often the simple act of acceptance and observation will result in those bad mental states passing quite quickly.
The practice of turning and facing negative mental states can be quite therapeutic and informative.
Firstly,
It provides you with an outlet to process challenging mental states.
Perhaps for whatever reason,
Your brain decided that it was time to address some kind of repressed issue.
Congratulations!
By accepting and observing it,
You've given yourself the space to heal and grow.
It is almost like acting as your own therapist.
So be the loving witness you deserve.
Secondly,
It will confirm to you the fact that mental states are short-lived.
The more you meditate and investigate your emotions,
Particularly the negative ones,
The more you will realise that those states never last long,
Particularly if you are not actively holding on to them.
It is important here to highlight a potential pitfall of the turn and face technique.
There is a risk that you will find yourself inadvertently perpetuating your negative mental state,
Rather than just observing it.
If you've ever found yourself arguing in your head with someone for hours after the event,
Reliving the past and hoping to change it,
Or actively ruminating on a potential problem coming on the horizon,
You will know what this feels like.
There is a kind of self-righteousness or perverse joy that comes with perpetuating the gossip and drama within our minds.
It causes us to hold on to the feelings of anger,
Resentment and other heightened emotionality,
Convincing us that doing so is both desirable and necessary.
When you are meditating,
Make sure that you are simply observing your thoughts,
Not perpetuating them.
This is an advanced skill,
One that requires a finely tuned awareness to be successful.
It may seem,
At first glance,
That you are just observing the thoughts and emotions of your mind,
But the reality is that you may be engaging with them in a less than constructive manner.
With time and practice,
You will be better equipped to realise when this is occurring and then act.
When you notice yourself perpetuating a negative state,
Use it as a cue to boost your efforts in your mindful observation of the breath.
You could also use the labelling technique from the real practice section.
Let's give it a try.
Glimpse Turn and Face Take a moment to remember a moderately stressful event or something that made you a little bit angry.
Close your eyes and start a timer for two minutes.
Your thoughts will be your meditation object.
Just watch them come and go.
If you notice yourself ruminating,
Engaging or perpetuating them,
Label it as thinking and return back to your observation.
Give it a try now.
The more you practice that mindful glimpse,
The better you will be at emotional regulation in everyday life.
You will find yourself more able to see what you are about to say or do something you may later regret,
Giving you a small window where you can apply the brakes and change course.
To be clear,
The goal of that glimpse,
And indeed mindfulness meditation as a whole,
Is to not change your thoughts or stop you from ever experiencing bad emotions.
Doing so is impossible.
Rather,
You will find that you will become more aware of your mental state and thus less surprised by sudden bursts of anger,
Sadness or anxiety.
These negative mental states may occur less frequently,
And when they do,
They will not last as long nor will they be as intense.
By meditating,
You are developing the skills necessary to manage your mind.
This talk was taken from the book,
Mindfulness,
A guidebook to the present moment.
