How To Balance Doing And Being

This is a recording of live event. Our culture is obsessed with "doing" (i.e. external experience) and puts little emphasis on "being" (i.e. internal experience). In this session we discuss how to maintain a healthy balance between the two. Discussion + Meditation

Transcript

Hello and welcome to another live session. My name is Tomek and I'm so happy to be here. Welcome. Good morning, Good afternoon, Good evening, Wherever you are. So good to see you all here. Hello Sharon. Hello Caroline. Hello V. Hello Basia, Lindsay. So good to see you here. As always, I will give you a moment or two to log in, To settle in and before we start the session. So please make yourself feel comfortable and tell me how you are and where are you tuning from. And for those of you who are here for the first time, Please raise your hand and introduce yourself. We have a wonderful group of regulars who are ready to welcome you here and make you feel at home. So I haven't been here in this space for a while and I'm so happy to be back to record another live with you and to talk today about what is the balance between doing and being and what it actually means to be and do. I just have my notes here. In preparation for this evening, For this session, I was thinking to myself, How can I represent to you doing and being and something that came to my mind are those two massive figures in the well-being and consciousness movement, Which I will show you right here, Right now on the screen. So we have Eckhart Tolle, One of my favorite teachers and inspiration to teach you as well. We have Tony Robbins, Who is, As you, I'm sure you know, He's a massive figure in transformational movement, Inspirational movement, And thousands and thousands, In case of both Eckhart Tolle and Tony Robbins, Thousands upon thousands of people experienced the teaching and found them very transformational. However, If you look at even those pictures of Eckhart and Tony, You can see that they have very different quality. And it came to my mind that Eckhart Tolle is very much focused on being. And Tony Robbins is, As you can see even on the picture, It's all about doing and action and performing. And when I was searching for photos of Tony and Eckhart Tolle, I couldn't even find a picture of Eckhart that was the kind of action when he was in movement. It's always still and always settled. On the contrary, I couldn't find a picture of Tony Robbins when he sits still and kind of with closed eyes and meditative state. So what I try to say is not that either Eckhart Tolle or Tony Robbins, You know, You should follow one or the other, You should take on one way of presenting yourself of the other. I will try to tell you and persuade you, So to speak, That both ways actually of Eckhart Tolle and Tony Robbins have its merit. They are valid in their very own way because both doing and being, As we know, Are important. However, At the very start of this session, I also want to mention and tell me if you disagree with me, But I personally think that today most of the people are obsessed with doing and doing dominates our daily life. We have to-do lists, We set ourselves goals, We have deadlines and milestones and everything from meditation to business has to be quantified. I even on Inside Time I check how many minutes I meditated for and I tell the truth, Sometimes my mind looks at it like what does it really mean? How does it make me feel that I meditated for so many hours and so many days throughout the past, I don't know, 15 years? Nevertheless, This is something that it is important to mention that neither doing or being cannot exist without one another. And it is up to you how to incorporate this in your daily life. And I want to share with you a story that was very humorous, Spoken by that happened during one of the events of Eckhart Tolle. So Eckhart Tolle, If you know his story, He had a massive breakdown at some point of his life, Out of which came this awakening. And on the wake of this awakening, He moved to US and spent, As he describes, Pretty much two years just in the state of awe and state of being, Where he sat on the park benches, On benches in the parks and was just there, Just allow himself to be. So as you may imagine, Many people seeing Eckhart Tolle being so at peace and so happy thought maybe this is my way of doing it. So one of the participants of the event got up and said, Listen, Eckhart, I was very much inspired by your story and I decided to quit my job and just do nothing for two years. And listen, Very shortly after I quit my job and start sitting in the parks and just focusing on the present moment, I find myself miserable. And I felt miserably on something with something that worked for you so well. And I think this is a very good story that we cannot be either Eckhart Tolle. No, We can become Tony Robbins. There is a funny saying that I say, I repeat a lot of times, We have to be ourselves because everybody else is already taken. And there is validity to it. But that doesn't change the fact that we still can feel inspired by figures like Eckhart Tolle and Tony Robbins. There is a time and place where we should be and there's a time and place where we should act. And something that occurs to me more and more as I meditate and as I immerse myself in doing as well is that there's no doing without being and being without doing. And what I mean by that is that depends on my state of mind. My actions depend heavily on how I feel. So to give you an example, If I feel anxious and angry, My actions will certainly reflect that state of mind or that state of being. If I feel at peace, Likewise, My actions will be reflected on that state of being. So in my process of discovery and how I see it on a daily basis, This is very important part of it. This is not some philosophical teaching, But this is a discovery that I invite you to do on your own that will impact your everyday well-being. Every single action is influence how you are. It depends on your state of being. So anxious mind, Anxious actions, Peaceful mind, Peaceful actions. It is very simple, Isn't it? But certainly is not easy. And I can say it for myself that there's so much time I spent in my head unaware of what is going on. But every time I give myself chance to just focus on what is happening, Focus on the present moment or my emotional state of my state of being, There is a transformation that happened. And out of this transformation, There come peace and contentment. And this has, You know me, I'm a scientist and I love using science and scientific knowledge to support what is happening with me and within me. And if you remember, Not so long ago, I did entire session on 478 breathing technique and I spoke a lot about our autonomic nervous system. That obviously it's the instrument in your body that connects all the organs and cells and connects your brain with your heart. And when you feel anxious, What happens in your nervous system is that parasympathetic branch of your autonomous nervous system takes over or it's upregulated. And as a result of that, We are deprived, Physically deprived, Or our access to our prefrontal cortex where all the processing of the higher emotions happens, It's cut off or it's limited. So consider this, When you're anxious, When your state of being is angry, Anxious, Sad, Deprived, The sense of not enoughness, You as a response to that, Your nervous system cuts you off almost literally from ability to process high emotions like love, Compassion, Having sense of belonging. And perhaps that is the reason when we feel this way, We feel isolated, We feel alone. We only can sense the self and everything else outside of us is bad, Trying to get us. On the contrary, When you feel at peace, The parasympathetic and sympathetic branches of your nervous systems are in balance, Which means that you have much broader access like a broadband, Like an internet to the processing capabilities of your brain to process all these high emotions. Your cognition is all there at your disposal. And again, As I taught you in the course, If you want to return it, I've got it all on my YouTube channel. Through practicing 478 and understanding how 478 works, You can get there, You literally can reprogram your nervous system and understand better the state of beings that you are in. And then you can observe what is the action or what are the actions that flow out of this state of being. So this is not just once again, This is not just some impractical teaching, This teaching about doing, Being and how to balance it and how to recognize those states, How one flows out of the other, A fundamental teaching to help you live life of fulfillment and joy. Because from peaceful mind, You can expect a joyful action that is being followed by the outcome from the anxious mind, The action that is taken, Usually it's unaware, We on autopilot, We succumb to our instinct. So the response or the actions instinctual, And we very often find ourselves, Particularly in the state of again, Anxiety and stress, Not being aware that something happened, Only in retrospect, You realize, Oh my goodness, Why have I acted this way? Because once again, You didn't have access to that cognitive capabilities that are so important for every human being that makes us different from any other creature. Our capacity to process information and use those higher emotions to put them in the center of our action. So once again, When you're anxious, When you're angry, You might find yourself only later, What have I done? I should have done it differently. But you cannot blame yourself because you went not yourself. Right? You still, Unfortunately, Usually, Most of the time, You will have to accept the consequences of that behavior. But it is as if you are not yourself. So being aware of how you feel and how you are, It's a fundamental thing to understand your behavior and the actions that flow out of it. So what does it mean that we take appropriate actions? What does it mean that out of peaceful state of being flow appropriate, Peaceful action? Peaceful action and appropriate action is an action that benefits yourself and your well-being as much as the well-being of those around you. It is not just about you. It is not just about your well-being. It's also about well-being of others around you. And it goes without saying that when you feel well, Usually, Usually others around you benefit from it as well. So it is not that counterintuitive. It kind of goes hand in hand. So the ability for the appropriate action flows out of state of being. But again, What to do, How to balance that being and doing when we actually are in trouble, When we feel overwhelmed by those difficult emotions. And I found that, Again, As Eckhart Tolle says, The power of now is the way to transform this state, This undesirable state of being. So if you already were triggered and something happened in your life that makes you feel a certain way that it's undesirable, The one way of transforming this moment is to be deeply aware of what is happening. And I can give you an example from just a couple of days ago. I went surfing and I sat on the waves and there were many people around me. And I'm quite competitive, So I wanted to catch every wave. And I find myself without realizing it, Again, Unconsciously, Without realizing it, I notice I'm very tense. And I tried to get, Paddle very, Very hard and catch every wave and just didn't work. And then what I realized is that I feel very tense. So for a moment, I change my focus and look around me. Look at this beautiful nature that is around me, The ocean and the rolling hill that is usually on my right hand side. And I decided to focus of how I feel. And in this very moment, A sort of transformation happened instead of being the thoughts and emotions that drive in conscious actions. I was able to be aware of those thoughts. And within short period of time, I was able to observe those emotions and thoughts coming and going with no longer being so closely attached to them. And that was a very transformative moment. And all of the sudden, I become much more peaceful and much more at ease. And surprise, Surprise, Next time I want to catch a wave, It felt much more effortless. It's as if the flow of energy was restored both mental and physical. The paddling become easier. My perception of the waves coming towards me, Which much, Much more easier to assess and to see. And as a result of it, My overall experience was very joyful. I may have caught a wave or two before, But I could not even enjoy that process. So the outcome in one state, An anxious state and a peaceful state was the same. I caught and rode a wave. However, The experience of it was very different. One was of unconscious, Being completely focused on my emotional, On my anxiety, On my tension. And other was peaceful. There was much more joy in it. So the present moment, As it occurred to me, Has the power of transforming those emotions and release the energy that otherwise is captured somehow and encapsulated in an angry emotion. And when we release it, We restore it as if we release and restore the flow of this energy. And when the flow is being restored, The balance, The balancing of the action and doing happens. And that's where the joy comes from. That's where the fulfillment come from. I cannot say that we very often we say that we want to be happy all the time. Right. And therefore we do everything to be happy. I started actually considering being at peace much more important than being happy. Science clearly shows that when you happy, When you in that very, Very excited, Your nervous system is also imbalanced. Instead of being in the parasympathetic mode, You in the sympathetic mode, You are in the parasympathetic mode. So as an example, Eckhart Tolle and Tony Robbins not about to be either or it's about to choose in every moment appropriate being and followed action. It is important to maintain balance between one and the other. And as a result, For me, The fruits of that is that joyful fulfillment of whatever I do. So when you think about it, At the end, We bring in both Eckhart Tolle and Tony Robbins together. We cannot stay sitting on the in the park for the rest of our life. Neither we can completely focus and encompass ourselves with doing and deadlines and to do list. Neither of this is possible at the same time. But appropriate action is the one that flows from the right state of doing and that's right state of being. And that's where everything starts in the very present moment, Assessing and checking in with how we feel. And that's what I invite you to through all my meditations. For those of you who listen to to my recordings, You know that mindful pause is an essential practice. You haven't heard this one, Please go to my library and listen to it. I recently actually had the live on that very topic. Mindful pause and essential practice. You can access it here on inside timer. That constant checking in and learning how to be present to the moment and see what kind of action flows out of that state of being. It is an essential practice. It's essential discovery for you. There's not important what I say. It is important how you apply it to your daily life and see for yourself how it works and learn it like a skill to do it more and more, More and more and more and more and see how your life improves as a result of it. So it is important to me to rather than focus on the occasional happiness. It is important to create in your life a sustainable piece. This is way more important. Life is not a sprint. It's a marathon. Slowly, Consistently moving forward, Creating sustainable piece rather than occasional pleasure. We talk about the gratification, Instant gratification monkey, Something, A creature that is so dominant in our daily life. That's where all this doing come from. You know, We want to achieve. We want to tick the box. We want to have the dopamine injection every time something good happens to us. But somewhere along the way, We losing the fulfillment. We losing the joy of life because instant pleasures are never at least in my experience, Are never a long term solution. And as I'm growing and aging, I'm rather than looking for instant gratification, I'm looking for sustainable piece for long term solutions, Even though I have to sacrifice sometimes those instant gratifications. I sacrifice them in the name of sustainable piece. And this is something that I work with myself, But I also work with my clients as a transformation coach. I try to teach you how to achieve sustainable piece, How to become that agent of transformation and active ingredient in the center of everything that happens to you. Because I've noticed that through work on the present moment, The actions that are reflection of this present moment are always much more beneficial to me. And an extension to everybody around me because I have a sense connection, Have a sense of connection with me and those around me. And I feel more at peace, Fulfilled, More joyful. So the question I always ask in my mentoring classes is not how to do. This question is you can find someone who can tell you million different ways what to do and they will charge you a big buck for it. But there are very, There's no one but you who can tell you how to be. And my job as a teacher and as a mentor is to create a space in which you can discover how to be. Not learn, Not explore, But discover for yourself. What does it mean? How to be. And out of this moment, There will flow your talents, Your potentials. All that wonderful potential that is in you, All this cognitive capacity that you have, You will gain full access to. And there's no longer a struggle. It is no longer trying to force something through serious exercise or another gym membership or joining another course and trying and expecting that this is going to solve something for you. It is always up to you. Out of your state of being flows the doing, Not opposite. If you take even the most appropriate as an example with Eckhart Tolle, You cannot be Eckhart Tolle. You cannot spend, It's not for everyone to spend two years sitting in the parks on the bench and just be. It was appropriate for Eckhart Tolle. Is that appropriate for you? I'm not sure. Perhaps it is appropriate to be constantly energized and power through and have many different goals and every day for Tony Robbins. And he clearly fulfill himself in what he does. Is that valid to you? That's a good question. Maybe it is. Maybe it is not. But it is your discovery to make nobody else's, Not even mine as your mentor. Or your teacher. OK, So now you have any questions, This is the time. Otherwise, We are going to jump to the practical part and let's see how you go within meditation, When the space when you can experiment with the topic we discovered. How is that doing and being within each of my meditations? You will find three components. There's a relaxation that allows your physical body to settle in. There's activation. Is that part when you usually need to exert a bit of effort in order to be aware of your thoughts? But also the third, Perhaps arguably the most important part is integration. When you integrate that being into and doing together and they flow effortlessly out of everything, Out of the preparation that you made. OK. Also, I want to thank you so much for all your generous support and to all of you who donated to my cause to help me create more live events and workshops and courses. I appreciate your help and I very much appreciate your generosity. Thank you so much. Thank you, Caroline. For those of you before we start, For those of you who wish to continue the conversation, I have a circle called Tomek Circle. If you type it in the search bar and the new version of Insight Timer, You will be able to access it. I also have a YouTube channel where I publish recordings of those live sessions and hopefully very soon I'll be able to publish it also on Insight Timer, The audio version of this live event. So once again, Thank you for your presence. Thank you for your donations. Thank you for your comments. And now let's do all let's do. Let's be. Let us be the way we meant to be. Let's discover what it means to be amongst so many of us from across the world. So to begin this process of discovery, I want to invite you to make yourself at ease. Allow yourself to be comfortable and at ease. And when you already are peaceful and at ease, Check in with yourself. Allow your eyes to close and check in internally how you feel. What is happening? Recognize the presence of so many of us from around the world sitting in this very moment connecting, Supporting one another. And take a couple of deeper breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. That deep regular breathing will help you to balance your nervous system. To bring both branches of your autonomous nervous system, Parasympathetic and sympathetic into a balance. The secretion of hormones, Your transmitters will be balanced nominal supporting your current state of being. And as you go within, Recognize any sensations that come from within. If there is any tension and discomfort, Let it be for a moment as is. If there are any thoughts or emotions, Begin being aware of them the way they are. There is no a good or bad way of feeling or thinking. There is only awareness of that and a realization that you are not your thoughts nor your emotions. And your state of being will only depend on your thoughts and emotions if you identify with it. But what if in this meditation for this short period of time, You will allow those thoughts and emotions just to come and go. And you sitting back observing them as they pass by. Imagine sitting on the bench of a river. A beautiful day, Feeling gentle breeze on your face. Beautiful tall grass surrounding the bank of the river that you sit at. And there are boats coming from one side of the river to another, Being taken by the current slowly passing by. And each of those boats represents your thoughts or your emotion. Rather than trying to examine each of them, Trying to get on board and talk to the captain, Simply allow them to be and allow them to pass by. One after another. And at first they may be frequent. But sooner or later the traffic decreases. As you learn to simply pay attention and disengage. Simply allow the boats thoughts pass. Some of them smaller, Some of the bigger. But all of them approach from the perspective of you sitting on the bank, Enjoying yourself peacefully. Being a visitor to this part of the world. The first time perhaps having time to sit back, To relax. Considering the boats thoughts for they are just a temporary concept coming and going. They are not you. And you don't have to engage with them. Allowing them come and go. And then as you get used to this flow, You notice that there is a more to this picture. There is a blue sky, There are clouds. There are other things on the horizon. There is a nature that supports you. There is a coolness of the breeze. And everything seems in balance. Nothing is out of place. You have a sense of belonging. Sense of stillness. As if nothing needs to be changed. And you are part of this picture. And you can stay there for as long as you wish. Simply breathing in and breathing out. In a peaceful enjoyment of the present moment. And now to conclude this wonderful image. Once again recognize that you can move back into your body. Moving your awareness from the visualization back to your physical senses. Recognizing that it is still you in your physical body. Connecting with your physical senses, With the sense of touch, The sense of smell. With your hearing, With your sight. Feeling your feet on the floor and your hands in your lap. Feeling here and now at peace. Express your gratitude that this is possible. Express your gratitude for being yourself in all this. And express gratitude to all of us here who meditate. Although thousands of miles away in some cases. And yet together. Be grateful for that too. And now introduce a gentle movement. Move and wiggle your toes. Stretch your fingers. Slowly and gently tilt your head to the left. Feeling muscles in your neck. Tilt your head to the right. Back to the center. And take one deep cleansing breath in through your nose. And out through your mouth. And when you're ready open your eyes. And welcome back. How wonderful. So there we are back from the inner landscape to the physical reality. And how you feel right now? I'll be curious to know. Maybe you could describe each of you in one word and type it in. How do you feel right now after this visualization? Caroline says it was peaceful. Beautiful. Leslie peaceful. Stacy relaxed. Karen calm. V calm as well. And Amiak relaxed. Michelle says I'm so excited to be in a life with you. I've been following and listening to your meditations for years. I'm glad Michelle. Thank you for being here. For those of you like Michelle have been following me for for quite some time. I have a patron program. The patron program is designed for all of you who support my work and wish to meet once a week in our Zoom chat and meditation. We have a wonderful group of friends who gather there every week. We have one session for the US and one session for quote unquote Europe because I cannot fit all of you guys in one time zone. And we meet weekly and we discuss things and we meditate together and we embrace our struggles and our challenges and try to face them together. Something similar to what we have here, But we can see each other and the interaction. It's a much smaller intimate group and we can interact with each other. Thank you, Sharon, For your kind donation. Jay says encouraging. I love that. And for those of you who wish to practice the boat visualization to help you to deal with your state of being with all the thoughts if you feel overwhelmed. I have a couple of meditations here for free on Insight Timer to help you on this journey and to meditations that include this visualization. Oh, Hello, Alvaro. I didn't see you there. I feel great. I like so much the boats. Simulating my emotions. Wonderful. That's the idea. We can use the power of our imagination to support our well-being. But right now we're coming to almost an hour of the session and I want to thank you for your presence. Follow your comments. I can see I can see here if I missed any of your questions, I apologize for that. Sometimes it's difficult to combine both, You know, Talk to you and look at the screen and reply to all the questions. But if you have, Please feel free to send me a private message or come to my circle and ask those questions there for not only for your benefit, But benefit of the others. I'm sure that others will be also curious to know how you feel. And I'm sure that so many will feel the same way you do. So then more people can benefit from the answer. OK, For now, I wish you a pleasant evening, A wonderful day wherever you are. And once again, Thank you for being here, For your presence, For your generous support. Leona Alvaro Lorraine, Thank you so much. It's very kind of you to to support my cause. And I very much look forward to. Being present with you next time and to explore the the doing and the being together. And for now, Have a wonderful day. Have a pleasant evening until next time. Bye bye.

Reviews

Love listening to your voice - really relaxing

BRILLIANT MEDITATION PRACTICE

Loved the invitation to be with whatever in the moment and mostly I could feel your heart and it made me feel safe. Thank you

Thank you

I love this so much, ahhhhhh the boats are so incredible
Thank you, Tomek
Namaste 🙏🏼