I'm Tim Fortescue,
A life coach,
Coming alongside of folks in their personal and spiritual development.
And today I'm going to lead you through a guided meditation exercise to help you connect with some of your parts that may get triggered by sadness,
Or particularly the sadness of others,
Those codependent parts.
And as I always do,
I'll be using the Internal Family Systems framework.
And if IFS is new to you,
You can check out my recorded talk and meditation on the basics of IFS.
As we begin,
I invite you to get settled.
It's best to have both feet on the floor if you can,
And know that if you need more time,
You can pause this recording at any time to give yourself the space that it needs.
So I encourage you to do that.
But as you settle in,
Notice your feet on the floor and where your body comes into contact with the ground where you are.
You can close your eyes if you'd like to,
But if you prefer,
You can just let your gaze rest softly in front of you.
And take a couple of deep cleansing breaths.
Let your attention go inward.
Begin to get oriented to your internal world.
And as you do that,
I want you to try to think of a person who you've been with when they were very upset,
Extremely sad and hurt,
For example.
Maybe they're even unconsolable and crying.
Just take a second to think of this person.
And if you can,
Try to imagine them going into a contained room.
Make sure it's a comfortable room and that you can see them through a window.
And take some time watching and observing them demonstrating how hurt or sad they are.
And as you watch them,
Just notice what comes up in your body and your mind.
Notice the thoughts you have about them,
Even if you're not proud of those thoughts.
And notice all the parts that react to this person.
Feel how these parts affect your body.
What are they doing to your heart or your breathing,
Your muscles,
Your impulses.
You might notice parts who are making it hard to observe the person in the room.
Maybe these parts feel powerless,
Want to withdraw,
Run away.
Maybe they want to keep your heart closed.
Or maybe they're active in some other way,
Trying to protect you.
And if you can,
Pick one of those parts and get to know it better.
See if you can notice the part that's most prevalent,
That needs your attention or wants your attention most right now.
And let the part know that right now,
You don't have to do anything for this person that's in the room and that they're going to stay in the room.
See if it can relax a little bit,
Give you some space and separate if it can.
If it does,
Notice the palpable shift and look again at the person in the room through these new lenses and get a vision of how you might want to be with this person,
If your parts would allow it.
Now shift your focus back to the protective part that you notice the most and ask what it's afraid would happen if it didn't work so hard to try to protect you.
Maybe ask why it doesn't trust you to stay with and to interact with this sad person that's in the room.
What do you want to share with the part?
When it feels complete,
You can thank this protector for its work,
For its courage.
Then thank any other parts that might be present.
See how they're reacting as they witness this conversation that you've had with this part you notice the most today.
And thank all your parts for anything they let happen.
Thank all your parts for their courage.
Let them know that this isn't your last visit.
You'd like to spend more time with them if they'd like that.
Maybe later today or in the next few days.
As we close,
You can bring your attention back to the present moment.
Notice where you are.
Take a couple final deep cleansing breaths.
You can open your eyes if they were closed.
Begin to move around a little bit and continue with what you're doing.
But thanks so much for joining me for this exercise and meditation today.
