Blessings.
I'm Tiffany.
And welcome to Life Unedited Sanctuary.
Where reality happens.
Life Unedited is the practice of radical acceptance through the lens of reality therapy.
This is less of a reality therapy theory today and more of a practical guide for developing routines.
To improve sleep.
I am a reality therapist and a couple of things I hear regularly from clients are that they aren't sleeping well and are tired when they wake up.
I cannot stress enough the importance of a good night's sleep.
And how our day can begin when we wake up feeling refreshed and invigorated.
The hands-down,
Most complained about problem is not being able to shut our brain off.
The racing thoughts,
Worry spirals,
Making of to-do lists,
Etc.
I'm not exactly sure why we think we can solve all the problems of our existence when we are supposed to be snuggling in for a blessed night's sleep.
I can attest to my own experience as a person who thought they were sleeping normally enough until I ran an experiment in 2022.
I found that the changes I made in my experiment radically changed my life.
My sleeping life,
My waking life.
Energy levels.
Mood,
Motivation,
Decision-making,
And overall mental health.
It all begins with our breathing.
It usually does.
I am on a one-person mission to demonstrate how important breathing is.
It seems rather obvious,
I know.
I mean,
If we stop breathing long enough,
Then we cease to live.
It is also totally taken for granted because we do it automatically,
All day,
Every day.
The problem is that we are not breathing mindfully,
Intentionally,
And deeply enough.
Client gave me the book Breathe by James Nestor back in 2022.
And it was revolutionary.
I learned about the structural changes to our skull,
Namely jawline,
That have evolved throughout the ages and interestingly,
Specifically related to the advent of processed food.
Those changes have had a significant effect on our ability to breathe deeply enough to move our diaphragms.
I believe Nestor called us a society of mouth breathers,
Which is shallow breathing.
Shallow mouth breathing affects our deep sleep state.
This is where my experiment moved into the testing phase.
I opted to employ the tape over the lips method.
Just a small one inch piece of first aid tape placed over my lips at bedtime.
Game-changing on night one.
I had the best sleep I think I've ever had in my life,
And I have put tape on my lips every night since then.
The tape simply keeps our mouths closed,
Forces us to breathe through our nose,
Which is deeper breathing that is lower into our bodies,
Moving the diaphragm as it is supposed to,
Like a fireplace bellows.
That movement keeps us out of the fight or flight state by stimulating our vagus nerve and essentially grounding our nervous system.
Without getting too technical,
All this is to say it reduces the flow of cortisol into our bodies,
Which induces a more homeostatic balance internally,
Allowing for deeper,
More restful sleep.
Other things contribute to better sleep as well.
One of those is evening food intake.
How much and how soon before bed?
It is important to stop eating two to three hours prior to going to bed.
This gives the body time to do the hard part of digesting,
So it doesn't have to be putting all that effort in while it is supposed to be resting.
Another contributing factor to poor sleep is alcohol consumption.
Many people enjoy an adult beverage in the evening to wind down and relax.
And many people believe it helps them to fall asleep.
It can help with relaxation,
Which feels like it helps us to fall asleep.
It's what happens during sleep that our bodies have to do to process that alcohol out of our system that disrupts the actual quality of sleep.
As with most things in life,
Moderation is key here.
Have that cocktail if that's your preference.
And just like with food,
Stop two to three hours before bed.
Or better yet,
Switch to water.
Now we get to talk about screen time.
Yep,
It's all about the blue pixels.
They activate our brain just when its natural state is to be winding down.
We know this and I won't belabor the point.
Lots of people think the only way they fall asleep is by watching TV,
Or at the least,
Having the background noise of the TV.
There are other productive options to background noise that let the brain relax and follow its natural circadian rhythms.
My choice is reading and listening to sleep stories.
I like to read a couple of chapters of a book,
Actual physical book in my hands to decompress.
Reading on the screen is another pixel situation.
If you aren't a physical book reader,
Listen to a couple of chapters on audiobook.
And for those of you who get too into the story and haven't been able to put it down until you know how it ends,
Practice personal boundaries.
It'll be there in the morning and it's something to look forward to.
Little sidebar,
I also have a nightly gratitude practice.
It's my form of prayer,
I suppose.
It's a beautiful way to say thank you to the universe for all the blessings of the day,
As well as manifesting future blessings.
That's where I say I'm grateful for something I would like to bring into my life,
As if I already have it.
After having read and finished my gratitude practice,
I choose a sleep story for the night.
My personal favorite app is Insight Timer.
I was introduced to the app 1435 days ago.
You heard that right.
The very day I met Insight Timer,
I chose a sleep story and have done so for 1435 days in a row.
I am very proud of that streak.
I have to mention the lengths I go to to keep my streak when traveling,
Especially global travel.
All that aside,
I have found that sleep stories lull me peacefully into sleep and I never hear the end of them.
The screens,
Tried reading or listening to a couple of chapters,
Maybe put a piece of tape over your lips,
Explored sleep stories,
And you are still plagued with a barrage of thoughts racing through your brain.
Here are a couple of additional hacks.
The first hack is to snuggle in,
Get comfy,
Close your eyes,
And take a deep breath through your nose all the way into your belly.
A counting method can be helpful.
Breathing in for the count of three,
Hold for the count of four,
And breathe out for the count of five.
There's science behind the longer exhale that calms the nervous system.
Do this for at least four rounds.
I am a number obsessive kind of gal,
And my number is seven.
So seven rounds a night for me.
It's a peaceful practice to incorporate into your every night.
Another hack is to count backwards from 300.
There is something specific about 300.
I'm not sure what it is.
Just go with it.
Here's the kicker.
Don't just go with it.
300-299-298.
Choose a number and subtract that number from 300.
And yes,
For me,
That number is 7.
And force yourself to do the math.
300.
293.
286,
And so on.
If you forget where you are,
Start over.
I've never made it to zero.
My final hack is also my favorite.
It's the liminal space practice.
This can be utilized anywhere,
Anytime of day,
And it's super effective at bedtime.
Close your eyes.
Take that deep breath.
And ask yourself the question.
I wonder what my next thought will be.
Wait.
If a thought pops in.
Notice it,
And don't attach to it.
Just rethink the question.
I wonder what my next thought will be.
Observe the pause at the end of the question.
That pause is the liminal.
The space in between.
It is a moment of blank mind.
Blank mind is pure peace.
I can promise.
You will fall asleep in that space of pure peace.
As you may be able to tell,
All of these things can be done alone,
Or they can be done in any combination,
Forming your very own nightly bedtime routine.
Routines can be healthy and help us find balance.
Our bodies crave homeostasis.
In fact,
They spend all their energy working towards maintaining balance,
And sleep is a vital component in achieving that.
I recommend exploring all the areas discussed to determine which works best for you.
And committing to a bedtime routine for your own self-care practice.
When you awake refreshed and ready to take on the day,
Thank yourself for choosing to prioritize you,
After all.
You're worth it.
