Welcome,
This is a series of practical strategies to use in life through the lens of reality for changing obstacles into opportunities.
From Life Unedited,
The Power of Radical Acceptance,
28 Theories of Living in Reality,
Theory 2,
Radical Acceptance.
The practice of radical acceptance is the foundation beneath every practice,
Belief,
And perspective in this book.
It means choosing to radically accept life at face value,
Without judgment or conditions,
To the best of our ability.
Radical acceptance sets us free,
But freedom doesn't necessarily mean ease.
It doesn't mean that we always get to understand or agree with what happens.
Acceptance means trusting that we do not need to know the reason to move forward with openness and peace.
It means we stop fighting the truth of what is.
However much we deny the truth,
The truth goes on existing.
When we stop needing a reason in order to accept,
We release ourselves from the grip of negativity,
Resistance,
And control.
Here's the key.
Radical acceptance is a practice,
Not a perfection.
And in this human experience,
Each day brings us many new opportunities to practice.
Practice accepting people exactly as they are,
Unconditionally.
Practice letting go of the urge to fix,
Correct,
Or control others.
Practice meeting differences in perspective,
Without defensiveness.
And practice releasing judgment,
Both inward and outward.
It sounds simple,
And yet this practice is deeply radical because it invites us to surrender what ego clings to.
Being right,
Being comfortable,
And being in control.
Radical acceptance invites us to drop negativity and pick up positivity and patience for the world around us.
And when we accept situations and others without condition,
We lower our stress.
We soften our proverbial edges.
We decrease conflict and increase peace,
Both within ourselves and around us.
This is not just a spiritual theory,
It is observable everywhere.
I have seen it in my clients,
In my relationships,
And in my own body.
Acceptance settles the nervous system,
Decreasing negative thoughts and increasing space for compassion.
It can shift the entire energy of a room and continue to ripple outward.
We might notice that ripple in moments that carry great emotional potential.
When we don't explode with rage when someone cuts us off in traffic,
When we do not take it personally when a cashier is abrupt,
And when we meet our child's tantrum with curiosity instead of anger,
Calm grows,
Judgment fades,
And our presence begins to radiate peace.
Not just for ourselves,
But for everyone and everything around us.
In relationships,
Radical acceptance is transformative.
It reduces the need to argue.
We don't have to agree with our partner's point of view when we learn to accept that it is just their view and that they are allowed to have it.
Couples can have differing points of view and still coexist harmoniously.
What about instances such as parenting together?
If people accept one another unconditionally,
Then parenting can be easier by accepting differences rather than arguing about them.
I am the first to admit that this is not easy.
That's why it's a practice and the universe gives us ample opportunity to cultivate that practice.
I remember clearly my own resistance to reality when learning from the emergency room doctor that the love of my life had an orange-sized mass in his brain that was most likely cancerous.
My reaction was to armor myself in denial with dark humor,
Making a joke about the x-ray,
Proving that he actually had a brain.
But once the armor fell,
I had to sit with it.
The reality was cancer,
And radical acceptance meant not running from that truth.
Only then was I able to radically wrap my head and my heart around that devastating reality and begin exploring how we were going to move forward.
It is a continuous practice to face reality head-on and radically accept life at face value.
First,
Because we are human,
We must allow ourselves our initial reaction.
Then we can take a breath and admit,
Yeah,
That happened.
With that unconditional acceptance,
We stop trying to wrestle with reality and create space within us to explore more rational thoughts and decisions.
With it comes the understanding that we don't have to agree with what's happened,
Nor do we need to bypass it with blind positivity.
Mere acceptance gives us the opportunity to learn,
To let it be,
And to choose peace anyway.
