Welcome to Life Unedited,
The Power of Radical Acceptance,
28 Theories of Living in Reality.
This is a series of practical strategies to use in life through the lens of reality for changing obstacles into opportunities.
I'm Tiffany and this is Theory 8,
Control is an Illusion.
The sooner we are able to grasp this theory,
The more peaceful our lives will be.
There is no such thing as control.
If we think about it,
Just when we think we have a situation under control,
Something comes along to disrupt what we have perceived as control.
For example,
We wake up feeling great,
We're getting ready for work,
It's a good hair day,
Our outfit fits nicely,
And we're all set to slay the day,
Which is filled with all kinds of meetings,
We're feeling in control.
We grab our coffee and head out to the car,
Then trip over the cat and spill the coffee everywhere.
Not so much control.
The reality therapy interpretation of this unfolding is that was the universe's way of slowing us down to be present in each moment and reminding us that we are not in control.
This is not to say that we do not have responsibility for ourselves or our choices and that life just happens to us.
I'm saying that ultimately,
It is not up to us.
Our free will allows us the ability to make choices,
To exert energy into the universe by way of those choices,
And that energy could have some effect on the outcomes.
People believe we control our emotions when we hold them in or attempt to get them out.
This is a matter of verbiage.
If we hold in an emotion,
Then we choose not to outwardly express it.
Is choosing not to express or react to an emotion control?
We still feel it,
We just choose not to react to it.
And where do you think anxiety comes from?
Anxiety is what happens when our mind tries to create an illusion of control over a future event that has not yet even happened.
The anxious mind can go wild what-if-ing possible negative scenarios and coming up with possible responses.
Though the mind thinks that we are protecting ourselves and solving the future to make ourselves feel better,
We only create more anxiety.
Actually,
Several things are happening all at once here.
We are sending negative energy out into the universe in a kind of pay-it-forward manner.
We are not present in our here and now,
Where we are actually fine.
And we are chasing an illusion we will not catch.
Buddha said attachment is suffering.
Our unhealthy attachment to the illusion of control causes us deep suffering.
Control never worked the way we thought it would.
It has only ever exhausted us,
Misled us,
And delayed our peace.
So what is our alternative?
Choosing to keep our mind in the present moment.
Choosing to find gratitude for the here and now.
Choosing to trust what is,
And then to detach from the outcome.
Just breathe into this moment,
Because this moment is all that's ever really ours.
