Three steps to sorry.
We all screw up.
We all make mistakes.
Sometimes it's unintentional.
Sometimes we are so caught up in ourselves that it might even be intentional.
Saying sorry is important because it acknowledges responsibility,
Fosters healing,
And restores trust in relationships.
However,
It isn't always easy.
Humans are hardwired to avoid discomfort,
Which can make it challenging to fully accept responsibility for our actions.
When we hurt someone,
Our intentions may be good,
But our actions may not be truly validating,
Which is often the case with many apologies.
This is really important.
Too often,
We're conditioned to explain our actions rather than fully own them.
Saying I didn't mean to hurt you,
Or I thought it was for the best at the time,
Shifts focus from responsibility to justification,
And that's not a real apology.
The essence of a sincere apology,
A true apology should come from the heart.
It's as simple and genuine as saying I'm so sorry.
Without adding I was just trying to help,
Or I was going through something and this is why.
Humans make mistakes,
No one is perfect.
Owning our actions requires humility and a willingness to be vulnerable,
Which is a challenge for our minds.
When people mask their actions with good intentions,
They deflect,
Hiding the real impact of their behaviour.
This can deepen the hurt,
Create confusion and erode trust.
An apology wrapped in denial isn't an apology at all.
While it may be comforting to know someone didn't intend to harm,
This should never overshadow the genuine need for a heartfelt apology.
This first step is a clear acknowledgement of the hurt caused.
This may or may not open space for a conversation about our intentions.
If the person we've hurt isn't ready to listen,
We must let go and allow them the space to process what we've said.
A true apology.
A true apology shows that we take responsibility for our actions.
It can heal and strengthen relationships by showing empathy and valuing the experience of the person we've hurt.
Through a genuine apology,
We can say,
I see the harm I've caused,
I regret it and I'm committed to making things right.
This fosters healing,
Understanding and a commitment to do better.
Apologies are not merely words but acts of true accountability and compassion.
We are only ready to truly make amends when we can sincerely apologise for the hurt we've caused,
Fully acknowledging it.
Period.
Sometimes if both people are open and receptive,
There is a second step that can foster healing and restore trust.
This step is a mutual sharing of feelings and context at that time.
Statements like,
I was so worried about losing my job that I became mindless,
Or when I'm stressed I get self-absorbed,
Can deepen mutual understanding.
Asking how your actions made the other person feel can also open a space for compassion for both of you.
But not before the first step.
A true,
Heartfelt,
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I hurt you.
Three steps to sorry.
1.
A clear acknowledgement of the hurt caused,
Expressed sincerely,
Without focusing on your reasons.
I'm sorry that I hurt you.
Then let go.
2.
Only if both people are guided to this further exploration.
This is an exploration of the feelings you both had at that time,
Which may lead to a deeper understanding of why you acted the way you did.
3.
Let go,
Allow and trust in the process as things unfold.
If you find yourself revisiting the situation in your mind,
Try setting an intention or saying a prayer each time you feel hooked.
This will help you stay grounded in daily interactions and each instance becomes a small micro-practice for your well-being.
You deserve that validation.
Life is tough after all.
I created this audio because I was stuck in my own feelings about my actions.
The realisation of the damage I caused came far too late.
Once I was able to fully own my actions in step 1 without justifying them,
I began to move forward,
And it felt freeing.
In my case,
It wasn't the right time to move to step 2 to explore the feelings and the reasons behind what happened.
And it may never be the right time for step 2.
Sometimes people may just not want to go there.
And this is something we need to rest in acceptance with.
Therefore,
We sometimes need to go from step 1,
The sincere apology,
To step 3,
Which is allowing.
Stepping back.
I can rest in step 3,
Choosing to set an intention for the relationship to heal,
And sometimes even offering a small prayer for this.
Now consider your situation.
Let's say it only involved steps 1 and 3.
Without exploring feelings or justifying your actions,
Which is step 2.
Over time,
Positive moments may arise,
Gradually building on each other.
Sometimes these moments can lead to a restoration of trust,
Or occasionally to a reconciliation where the relationship grows stronger than it was before.
This could take time,
Though.
If it happens at all,
It may not.
But at least you've acted in alignment with your values.
Three steps to sorry.
Step 1.
A clear acknowledgement of the hurt caused,
Expressed sincerely,
Without focusing on your reasons.
I'm sorry that I hurt you.
Then let go.
Step 2.
Only if both people are guided to this further exploration.
This is an exploration of the feelings you both had at that time,
Which may lead to a deeper understanding of why you acted the way you did.
Step 3.
Let go.
Step 4.
Allow and trust in the process as things unfold.
We are only ready to truly make amends when we can sincerely apologise for the hurt we've caused,
Fully acknowledging it,
Period.
