Soothe With 'The Soften' (Nervous System) Full Version

Reuben guides us into this practice to help reduce anxiety by soothing the nervous system. There is a specific technique here called 'The Soften' which gives the nervous system an extra sense of being soothed. This is the full practice. Ideally, it should help you feel more centered, grounded, calm, and expanded once again.

Transcript

Welcome to this practice,

Soothing with the Soften.

My name's Reuben and first off,

Just appreciating the fact that you have chosen this moment.

You have chosen to nurture yourself and that in nurturing yourself,

There's an amazing capacity for healing.

So sending some thoughts of appreciation to yourself for taking part in this and by the end of this,

It's my hope that having gone through this structure and choosing something from this that you can connect to,

It will bring you into a state of being more present,

Grounded,

Connected,

Rational with a nervous system that is down regulated.

When the nervous system is down regulated,

Our bodies go into rest,

Restoration and healing.

So just noticing how you are resting in this moment,

Allowing your awareness to go below the level of thought and opening up to sensations of how you are resting,

How you are gently holding your body in this moment.

Noticing how different sensations open up to you and the more you get a sense of these sensations,

The more grounded you're becoming.

And we're going to start with a little check-in here because our bodies carry unnecessary tension and resistance.

It's quite often that our bodies do this.

So taking attention now to your forehead and allowing your forehead to be soft and also taking attention to the shoulders,

Allowing your shoulders to be relaxed.

Relax the muscles down your back,

The area of your stomach,

Your legs,

Particularly the thighs,

Allowing your body to relax fully.

Tuning into parts of your body that may well have a little tension or resistance that you might not have noticed if you hadn't have done this.

Relax.

And as you rest in this moment,

The normal natural flow of your breathing has been continuing its cycle.

Your breath that's been with you since the day you were born.

Your breath that is your ally,

Your companion for whenever you choose it.

Appreciating the gentleness of your breath.

And if you're overly distracted in this moment,

You can use numbers and count in any way that you wish.

Seeing these numbers or hearing them in your mind and just getting them in time with the waves of your breath.

If you're not overly distracted,

Then you can just settle with the direct experience of your breath.

Noticing the texture,

The feeling of your breath as an in-breath takes place.

Noticing the texture and the feeling of your breath as an out-breath takes place.

Whilst you are connected to your breath,

Thoughts come and go,

Just like cars going by in the street.

It's only when we get hooked by a thought that we're distracted.

So allowing thoughts to do their thing whilst you connect to the gentleness of your breath.

And as I like to say,

Whilst you connect in this way,

See how gentle you can be.

See how gentle you can be.

The breath is a bridge from an up-regulated nervous system to a down-regulated nervous system.

When we're up-regulated,

We feel guarded,

Maybe apprehensive.

And if the levels go up,

We feel much more anxious and in a state of fear.

With a down-regulated nervous system,

We feel grounded,

Content,

And our bodies go into a place of healing and restoration.

So whilst you're connecting to the breath and seeing how gentle you can be,

Your body is actually gently down-regulating the softness of your breath,

Giving yourself that dose of soothing with each breath that you notice.

Thoughts about the past,

Thoughts about the future,

Maybe even thoughts about this practice,

Whatever they are,

However they present themselves,

Gently notice when you've become distracted,

Because every time you notice,

It's a win and an opportunity to just gently come back again.

And so there's a choice here.

As you notice the softness of your breath,

You can continue like this,

Appreciating how your body breathes at its own rate and rhythm.

Or if you like,

We can go a little further.

If you feel that you're in a place where you feel quite calm,

What you might like to do is to focus just on the out-breath.

And as you focus on this out-breath,

Where it starts,

How it speeds up,

Slows down and comes to a pause,

What you might like to do is just to soften your out-breath by a touch.

So by 10 or 20 percent.

No need to get caught up in the numbers,

But just very gently softening the out-breath.

So it's effortless,

It's easy to do your softening your softening this out-breath.

When we soften our out-breath like this,

It's quite incredible,

Because it's like stroking a cat that really enjoys getting stroked,

Getting soothed.

When you soften your out-breath in this way,

Your nervous system is getting an extra soothing stroke from you by doing this soften.

If softening the out-breath becomes more challenging than just focusing on the gentleness of your breath as your body breathes at its own rate and rhythm,

Then go with the simplicity of noticing your body breathing at its own rate and rhythm.

And if you still find that you're overly distracted,

You can use numbers and count in any way that you wish.

Just like at the start,

As I said,

You can visualize these numbers or hear them in your mind,

But if you're finding that this softening is becoming more and more natural,

This is your own your own indicator that your nervous system is being soothed.

Beautiful down regulation.

And as a result of this,

Your body is in a state of rest,

Which means restoration and healing are taking place.

It all happens as you gently rest your awareness in this moment.

So any of these breathing techniques soothe the nervous system,

But if you are wanting to just practice that soften,

And if this extra softness that you're applying to the out-breath is easy to do,

Then you can choose this for the remaining part of this practice.

And now you might like to gently form a little half smile,

Just like the Mona Lisa,

And sending a thought of appreciation to yourself,

For yourself,

In taking part in this little practice.

This has been a gift to you and from you.

Thank you for taking part in this practice.

Reviews

This meditation has helped me so much. I play it and do these exercises in the middle of stressful days, or as a way to start days I think may be overwhelming. It helps tremendously. Thank you!

That was very soothing. Loved the chimes! Thank you 🙏🏻😌

This made me feel calm after the long day I just had. Thank you so much🙏

I enjoyed this, but the background music changing was distracting.

A really lovely calming, soothing focus to bring your attention back to the breathe. Your voice was relaxing, whist with enough energy to keep me engaged. 🙏 Thank you. I will return…

So soothing. I feel so much less anxious about a few things weighing on me right now

Has been a while since I found this sense of real inner quietnesss and deepened breath, namaste.

Lovely! Just what I needed to calm my nerves. Thank you!

This was terrific! I felt very calm at the end, despite having some panic early in the meditation. This is definitely going on my favorites list. Thank you so much, Reuben. 🙏🏻💚

Incredibly relaxing! Saved and will listen again and again…thank you!

Your guiding and voice are so calming 🩵 Thank you so much!

Really soothing mediation and a wonderful voice guiding.

This has been so helpful in relaxing and soothing my nervous system, body and mind. I will continue to gift myself with this practice whenever I need to. Thank you Ruben 🙏

This wonderful meditation left me feeling like I just woke up from a nice nap. I feel calm, centered, peaceful, and well rested. Thank you!

Simple and soothing for the mind and body. Thank you. I don’t usually like practices with music but here there are only subtle wind-chimes which are also quite soothing.
Edit: Unfortunately, there have been times this week when I’ve felt too disregulated to put up with the cowbells/windchimes, so I’ve not been able to get the benefits of this otherwise lovely practice. This may be due to my suspected ASD. I’d be grateful if more teachers would acknowledge that for some neuro-divergent people extraneous noise on recordings does exclude them from listening to some recordings.

Another excellent one. Really effective downregulation. Very grateful for these resources.

Perfect! I felt the anxiety and stress melt away. Thank you 🙏🏻

Simple, gentle & soothing way to become present with the breath. I enjoyed it.

Lovely thank you! I’d love a version without the background music, or with binaural beats instead if you’d consider that 🩷

Wonderful practice. Really love the music. Thank you.