Micro Talk: 'Stepping Back' From Unhelpful Thinking

This is a micro talk. This is a tool that's used to help people unhook, or 'step back' from unhelpful thinking. It happens to us all, everyday. So use this if it resonates with you, and maybe even share this with others, to help them be part of the change that's going on in the world right now.

Transcript

Stepping back.

This is another little tool to help us get a little distance from our unhelpful thinking patterns.

Simply place any unhelpful thought at the end of this sentence.

For example,

I'm noticing the thought that I can't do this.

Sentences like I'm noticing the thought that are well known in acceptance and commitment therapy.

Helping us to step back from being absorbed in an unhelpful thought.

So let's continue with this.

If the thought is,

Today is a bad day,

Then gently acknowledge to yourself,

I'm noticing the thought that today is a bad day.

If the thought is,

I'm not good enough,

Then gently acknowledge,

I'm noticing the thought that I'm not good enough.

You won't get some distance from your unhelpful thinking without practice.

That is definite.

Use this with any unhelpful thought you may have and have a play around with it.

Give it a go now in these next few seconds of silence.

I'm noticing the thought that.

.

.

Okay so,

What did you notice?

You probably found that inserting this simple phrase gave you a little distance from the thought you were having.

And as I said,

We can refer to this as stepping back.

Coming to recognise that other people's minds give them these type of thoughts as well,

Can sometimes help us to not take them so seriously.

So,

Here's a two step process for you.

Step number one,

When you find yourself caught up in an unnecessary thought,

Use the sentence,

I'm noticing the thought that.

.

.

Number two,

Come back to focusing upon a chosen point of connection as the thought loses its power and floats around in the background until it's disappeared.

Remember,

As with all exercises,

Some of these approaches may not be the magic wand that we look for.

So,

Play around with some of these and only use the exercises if they are actually helpful for you.

Reviews

Very help tip that can be implemented immediately 🙏

Step 2 not so clear to me, very fast comment. Please, would you explain it here a little more? Very useful tool, thank you!

Sometimes when asked what we’re feeling, we get confused between thoughts and feelings. We talk about what we’re thinking instead of what we’re feeling. I have Kiki Fehling PhD to thank for that little nugget of realisation. She says that if you’re describing a feeling in more than a few words, you’re actually describing a thought instead and getting caught up in it. It’s so important in trauma work to understand the difference between feelings crying out for attention and thoughts which are often a complete waste of time and energy paying any attention to at all.

Thank you so much Reuben. Just what I needed today.

I love this… a quick and easy way to move in from negative thinking. This makes me think of a thought 💭cloud passing by… it’s going to be new daily mantra!

My therapist has introduced me to saying this, your talk has been helpful to remind myself to do it so thank you.

So simple a technique can help me distance myself from unhealthy thoughts and improve my self regard. Thanks

Helped me step back a little from thoughts that were somewhat consuming.

P.S When I saw you talking to the blue cards during your workshop it was so funny & endearing. I imagined your quirky responses to the blue cards is the same way I would address some unhelful thinking on the spot. Thank You for holding such a healing compassionate space.🙏🏿💖🌸🦋🍃

So short and easily digestible! The idea of observation is not new to me but the phrase "I'm noticing the thought that..." is, and I predict it is going to be extremely helpful. Thank you!

Simple recommendations for dealing with negative thoughts. I'm going to try this today!

Helpful 2-step process worth frequent practicing. I love the re-phrasing of thought patterns. Thank you. 💝

Really helpful. On many occasions I try to ‘control’ in particular my negative thoughts by pushing them away or avoiding them, which can actually make it worse. A thought can grow the more I try to push it away. This technique has helped me to realise that simply being aware that I am engaging in unhelpful thinking patterns can help me switch to more helpful ways of thinking. Definitely gave a little distance and allowed me to step back. Thank you 💫

I'm noticing the thought that... this was a Great little piece of advice!

I will definitely be trying your helpful suggestion out in the days to come & saving it.
Thank you for this 🙏🏻

This is a great tool for creating space and taking some of the power out of thoughts. Thank you.

Great short advice! I will try this. Thank you 💙

What a great tool for my toolbox! Thank you Ruben✨🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻✨

A down to earth approach—easy to access tool to being self supportive and nicer to ourselves

That was quite insightful. 🙏Thank you so much! I’m gonna start turning my negative Self-Talk into this more wise talk instead 🙏❤️🙏