Nonviolence & Compassion - A Meditation On Ahimsa

A dharma talk given on June 13, 2016, the day after the Orlando Pulse massacre, on Ahimsa, the yogic practice of nonviolence and compassion. It focuses on the impossibility of nonviolence in a violent world and emphasizes the importance of practicing healing and forgiveness towards our own personal violence as we seek to become more peaceful and tolerant of others and in the world.

Transcript

Hello and welcome. The following is a guided meditation by Renee Seals, A somatic movement educator, Energy worker, And astrologer. This meditation is intended to help support your embodied meditation practice. If in the recording you are prompted to do something that doesn't feel good for your body, Please adapt and modify to make it work for you. Please also note that the content of this meditation sometimes explores deep and subtle states and memories, And sometimes guided visualizations. You are encouraged to work with discernment as you practice with them. If any of the guidance Renee offers feels too activating or uncomfortable, Please listen to your body's knowing and pause the recording until a later time if you wish to return to it. These guided meditations range anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes and do not require any supplementary equipment to participate. We hope you enjoy. This circular form is a communal form, And when you're in a circle, One thing to check first of all is that you can see everyone and everyone can see you. So there's always a justify and a shifting as we settle and arrive, And that's just part of our practice together, More than coming in the morning to sit, But just in general in our minds, Right? Are we going long on our own life? And then someone else shows up and it's this kind of settling and adjusting and shifting to accommodate what that relationship is. And it can be joyful sometimes and other times it can be a lot of other things. And part of what we're doing here is just noticing. So I was listening to the news on my breath over the evening. I was wondering about the news yesterday with Orlin and Shari. And I was thinking about, You know, This week, The entire training, But especially this week, We're looking at the precept of Ahimsa, Which translates to non-violence and non-honey. And then you can also talk about it as compassion. So Shari and I have worked a lot with these precepts, With the young and the young and we'll talk later in the training about their origin, More of where they're coming from. But whenever there's an adopting of a practice that comes from another culture, There's this simplification of what that practice is and the reduction of it as well. So we tend to take the parts that we like and leave the parts that we don't like and don't understand, Which can be a lot. And non-violence is a really interesting one to think about in that way, That what does it mean to be living in a world that is inherently non- mental? And not just humans, You know, But when we look at nature, There's so much violence. And it is an instinct that arises within life, Right? Like it's not the point for us to get to a place where we're like somehow free of that instinct. It's not going to happen as long as we're in these bodies. But what we can do is listen when it arises. And there's an instinct that comes up which you can call whatever you want, Defensiveness or reactivity, But when something happens and then immediately we're like, No, Or that means this, Or we're going to strike back. You know, When I was listening to the political candidates, Like blathering about what they thought about this and it was so reactive. And it was, Of course, You know, Of course they're trying to quell this upset that has arisen and is arising in such extreme ways right now. But they're, You know, They're talking about like, Well, We're going to take these actions and we're going to do this and we're going to put in place these rules, We're going to make these enforcements and somehow this is going to keep us from violence. Now we have this example of extreme behavior that has resulted in a lot of pain and really unnecessary destruction. What would happen if we didn't respond by way? What would happen if we didn't respond by way? Oh yeah, Right away. What would happen in that moment of tension and discomfort where we just have to be with grief and with our own outrage or with our own agreement depending on who you are? You know, There are a lot of people in this century that feel very wrong for these days. What would happen if we put aside our personal beliefs about what is right and what is wrong and just felt the feelings that came up? I don't know what would happen because we haven't really had a comfortable example of that but in a lot of ways I think that the practice of our human stuff has to do a lot with listening. Listening to the instincts that come up that feel like they feel innate, Right? It's not like a voice that's like, Go do this thing, You know, Kill that person. It's a biological instinct that comes up. This thought of seeing right, You know, Do you guys ever just felt enraged about something? And that took us, The heat of sitting with something and not responding right away but really just letting it settle, Really taking it in, Is such a heart. And so with listening we have compassion and I know for a long time when I thought about compassion I thought about like really fluffy things where I was like, Oh compassion is like your mom, You know, Like this ideal like mother and like, You know, Fine, You know, This kind of soothing feeling and then I would think that and then I would immediately feel bad about myself because I was like, Well I'm definitely not bad, You know, I'm definitely not compassionate. Or I would try and be that to someone, You know, They can have a hard time, Fine, You know, Like, Oh, It's like, Cat, Cat, You know, And it would really help and it usually made things worse and it usually made me like feel just hopeless about my own ability to help anyone. And so Sarah and I have been talking about these precepts and we're like, What do they mean? You know, Like what does it mean to be non-violent? What is that practice? And so we've been working on redefining them, Like redefining these words like compassion has become very ubiquitous and no one really knows what it means because it's used all the time and you as well and I probably have this whole like, You know, Storage container full of assumptions that we load onto that word, We don't usually know what's in there. So we've been working with a definition of compassion and willingness to be uncomfortable together. Which for me, Like, It's a very different feeling than the word compassion. And the root of the word as you probably know is to suffer with, Okay, Compassion, To be in a suffering together. And so what it means, It's not about taking it on for someone else, Fixing it and making it go away. But really to be in that place where there's an acknowledgement of discomfort. Discomfort is. And there's no two ways around it. And how do we sit with our own discomfort when we're face to face with someone else's discomfort? Because most of us, And I'm going to venture so hard to say all of us, Want to do something about what we feel is uncomfortable for other people. And that might result in extremist behavior. And how can we, Can we even imagine that this man was acting from a place that he felt was compassionate, That he felt was doing the right thing? I don't know, You know, Can we be in that place of not immediately rushing to judge someone else, Immediately putting in place all of these ideas about what it means? And as a person who identified these things, Well, This is so intense. This is just this huge lapse in the progress that we made and to feel that there's this kind of extremism and this kind of danger that's possible. But then also to think like, You know what, When I heard about that news, I felt so fucking angry. And I wanted to feel something about it. And that instinct that arises in me is really different. So when we're practicing our meditation here, It's kind of the same thing. You know, We're practicing in a place that's safe, Which is something to be incredibly grateful for, Right? That we have the luxury to be here together, Beautiful safe, It's amazing community. And practice these tools that actually can make a difference in our lives and in the world, Because what we're doing is we're building the internal strength to sit with the comfort. So when you're sitting there and you're like, Oh my god, My body is so uncomfortable, Or when your mind is racing and you're beating yourself up for having that same thought again, You know, A way to lose track of your breath and then realize that you've spaced out for the last 15 minutes and you want to like get on your own pace because you're not going to be able to. Those are all the times when you get to be like, Oh, Reactivity. Something came to my attention and then I rushed to draw from the agenda, Or I needed to change it right away. And it's not to say that you can't act, You know, If your me is telling you and it would be relieved by straightening your life, Do it. But notice the moment that you decide to do it. So it's in these moments of transition that we often get hurt a lot when we end up hurting each other. And they look at us later in our Asana practice where we kind of start to explore what the nasa is, What movement with practice is, And what it means to transition from one space to another. And often we think about the spaces where we start or move towards as being the thing, You know, I'm going to go from sitting to standing. And we're concentrated on sitting and standing, But the space between sitting and standing, The journey that we take to get there, Is really important because how we sit is directly related to how we stand, Which means that it's related to how we get there. So if we're habitually leaning over to one side to get up, Eventually we're going to have some kind of movement patterns that we're bothering around. And if we habitually decide that the emotional response to a person or to an idea means that we need to tune them out or that we need to doubt them or that we need to, You know, Be reluctant and go away or something. We have these habitual responses and they're not wrong, But it's in noticing when they come up that we can actually start to affect some people. So, Do you have something you want to say? Sure. Yeah. What do you do with your anger? That's a great question. I do a lot of things with it. Sometimes I indulge it, You know, Sometimes I scream really loud and punch it below, You know, I engage in physical, Physical violence with other people. Sometimes I put it to the side of my mind and then end up taking the fight with my partner. That's a really great technique. I am working with and not having to do something with it. So physical activity has been very helpful for me. I have a very active personality. So one thing that I've done a lot is use things. So I smoke cigarettes for a long time, Or there was a lot of time where I, You know, Every night when I would have a glass of wine, These little things where I've held the sharpness in my own being because I have a lot of anger and a lot of things, As I'm sure you all do too. I don't know what to do with anger. I think that it's a really valuable emotion. It's an important part of the process of having discernment that when anger arises, It's not something to get scared of, You know, And as women, First and foremost, We're taught not to be angry. And so what do you do with that? You know, In a meditation practice where we're like, No, No, What does it mean to be part of a group of people that have been oppressed for a really long time and have been robbed of our anger? And do we want to become the thing that is oppressive? You know, Do we want to be that in ourselves? And so when anger arises, How we hold it is really important. And I think that asking questions is good, You know, And it's kind of what we were talking about yesterday with the cues with the asana, Where it's like, What would happen if you, You know, Lifted the bathroom anymore or felt this space? And when anger comes up, It's like, Hmm, What would happen if you couldn't fight with someone about this? What would happen if you wrote an angry letter? What would happen if you went for a run? What would happen if you sat and breathed and just felt this thing? Why is the anger there? Because a lot of times anger is really important and it's really useful. It's waking us up to something. And I don't know about you guys, But I often get angry after, You know, Like something will happen. And I just, I mean, I invested in being peaceful with people and I don't like arguing. Like something will happen if somebody behaves in a way that actually is no pain and then like 12 hours later, Like 12 days later, Something's 12 months later, I'll be like, Hey, That sucks. And then I'll have this like long fantasy of how I like, You know, Tell them what it is. But really that moment can never come back. So I think that as we wake up to our own anger, It's a process, You know, And that starting to be in a place where we're willing to be uncomfortable with ourselves and with each other is part of what you do with it. That there's no answer. You know, Sometimes you get angry about something and, You know, You eventually I can speak to this like with a kid where if they just do something and you're like, Oh my god, You just say this, You're shy, You know, But expressing anger to that being isn't going to be helpful. And so you just have to take your anger and kind of hold it and be like, Okay, I'm being really reactive. And I'm just gonna take a deep breath and let it up or whatever you do. You know, And sometimes we, It's like anger comes up and what really needs to happen is a combination. And I think that each of us can answer that ourselves in those moments, But this process of being able to discern is an important one. And we're not going to get there if we're in our familiar house, If we're in the places of, You know, The reactive spaces where that transition moment is invisible. Does that make sense? So we're practicing being with the transition. Oh god, My knee really hurts. Maybe if I internally soften somewhere, It's going to make a difference. What difference? Should I move it? How would I want to move it? Okay, Now I'm going to move it. Did it do the thing I wanted it to do? That that process is a really good process to have, You know, Of noticing what is this? What's that little pebble in your shoe? And it's not the assumption of like, Oh my god, There's a spider on your shoe! Whatever it is. But like, Oh, Okay, There's a feeling. This is my, Here's my reactivity. Am I going to do it? And I believe that ultimately this process leads us to being able to act quickly and clearly and to trust ourselves. Because there are times when we need to respond right away. You know, If you or someone that you love is in danger, It's not, It may be the end of the time to be like, Okay, Am I being really reactive? You know, It might be the time to to defend yourself. But then it also might be the time to notice your reactivity because a lot of times you feel like you're in danger. And I think that when we practice, You know, When we practice being with discomfort and you practice kind of seeing what's going on here, We get to a place where there's more self-trust. And we think like, Okay, I can respond. Like, I am the agent in my actions right now. I'm familiar with the part of me that's pretty wretched. I'm familiar with the part of me that just wants to fuck and shit up. And I'm not pushing it away. It's right here. I can feel it. And when we push things away, They have a way of coming from behind and yeah, Fucking your shit up. Anybody else have responses to your questions? I think along with that, How do you navigate non-judgment but also like making things as wrong? Right, Like, You know, Like that analysis of like being like that's wrong, Which is judgment. You know, Like social justice, How do you balance that with your surroundings? Yeah, Yeah. And I think that's a great question. And I think that's a great question. And you know, I do think it was wrong. Do I think that a bunch of laws and rules are necessarily going to make that much happen again? No. You know, The instincts to tighten up and become rigid in response to tragedy. 9-11 happens, You know, And it's like, Just put it aside. And the historian was like, We need to get some more. And I was like, Really? Like right now? We're kind of being a moment of truth? You know, Because I think that the choices that we make when we've allowed ourselves to feel are going to be different than the choices that we make when we're in the moment of a secret and of outrage and not being in response. And whether or not, You know, The responses is different, I don't know. But the inner okayness of what we've done, It's like when you make a choice and it's reactive, You know that feeling later where you're like, I really didn't think that over. But when you've given yourself time to be with something and you come to a choice and it can be a really hard process. It can be a lot harder to give yourself that time than to be reactive. Because you really have to lay it. And it's like yesterday where we were like, Well, What's describing what's interpreting? When we're really with our own discomfort, We look at our own preference. We're like, Well, Why did I think that was bad? And we might have to get to a place where we understand like, Okay, This person committed this extreme act of violence. It's wrong. But does that mean that everything about that person is wrong or everything about Islam is wrong? No. No. And does that mean that that person would be completely wrong? And then how does that affect the choices that we make to Islam? It's not easy. You know, In the forward to Michael Stone's book, Which I'll get a chance to read that book of started. In the forward to it, Richard Freeman is talking about how most people avoid yoga. And that really what this practice is, Is coming to greet the places that we do for. And so with an awesome practice, Chances are good that something will come up in your body that will hurt. And chances are good that the reason that it's coming up is because you've been practicing in a certain way. You've been practicing symmetry and an asymmetry that arises or a tendency to go too far arises to push into something. Or, You know, It's like we've been confronted with our own physical habits, In the awesome. And in meditation, It's the same. We're just like confronted with the noise of our minds. And it's definitely not. I've had moments where I've been like, This is really blissful. But for the most part, You know, It's boring and hard. And then it's also it's tough. It's that constant practice of like, OK, I'm just going to come back. I'm going to come back again and I'm going to come back again. And so it's just that discipline. So should we sit together? Sarah talked a little bit yesterday about the technique for Shambhata. And this place of just abiding sometimes is helpful to have an object to begin with. So it can be a little confusing or unknown as to how to just be there with your thoughts. Or what happens when you go off on a walk. So we have a really great tool at our immediate disposal, Which is reading. And this suggestion is to just be mindful of your breath. So I just sit and in this practice, In the practice, I'm sure you sit with eyes open and eyes open is acknowledgement that there's distraction. Right. There's going to be people that walk by sounds that happen, You know, Of color that catches your eye. And there will be a lot of thoughts and physical sensations. And those distractions are something to shut out. There's something to welcome in because they become part of the fuel that is where we find our own center. So every time we go off or if there are distractions, We're spinning around, We're doing that with the mind of like, Oh, Did you hear that? I'm walking by. I don't know what they're talking about. Oh, I'm going to go that place for lunch today. I'm jumping around. So we have the tool of our breath as something to just keep coming back to. It's constant. It's not something that you need to think about doing. This also isn't the kind that we practice running on. So just let your breath exist. There's no thing that you need to be free. The eyes can be soft and start to practice pratahara, Which is a softening of all the stem organs, Allowing them to be receptive, But not needing to go forward. Any questions? So this is today for the next and we're done with it. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You.