Healthy Boundaries & Stable Attachment Meditation

This guided meditation supports cultivating healthy boundaries and stable attachment through easily-accessible somatic practices and visualization. Somatic meditation is a style of meditation that works through an embodied awareness, felt sense and imagination.

Transcript

Hello and welcome.

The following is a guided meditation by René Sills,

A somatic movement educator,

Energy worker and astrologer.

This meditation is intended to help support your embodied meditation practice.

If in the recording you are prompt to do something that doesn't feel good for your body,

Please adapt and modify to make it work for you.

Please also note that the content of these meditations sometimes explores deep and subtle states and memories,

And sometimes guided visualizations.

You are encouraged to work with discernment as you practice with them.

If any of the guidance René offers feels too activating or uncomfortable,

Please listen to your body's knowing and pause the recording until a later time if you wish to return to it.

These guided meditations range anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes and do not require any supplementary equipment to participate.

We hope you enjoy.

Hello and welcome.

Thanks so much for listening.

This is René and this is a somatic meditation.

Somatic meditation is a style of meditation that works through an embodied awareness,

Felt sense and imagination or visualization that you place in your actual body.

And the style of meditation is creative and it's constantly evolving.

For today's meditation we'll focus on healthy boundaries and stable attachments.

And this is something that I think most of us can use some support with.

And I think that there's a very good chance that anybody alive right now,

Anybody listening,

Experiences some kind of attachment suffering or wounding.

We live in a time when we are extremely disconnected from the earth,

From our planet and from one another.

So in this meditation there's an invitation to connect with sense of a greater self and to allow that connection to facilitate more easeful and healthy relationships in general.

So here we go.

So begin just by making yourself comfortable.

And for this meditation you can be in any kind of position that feels good to you.

You can lie down,

You can sit,

You can move around.

We'll be working with our felt sense and physical awareness using some breathing and guided imagery.

And I have absolutely no attachment to what shape you are in while you're doing this or what other activities you're doing with it.

I think it'll be fine if you were doing this meditation and gardening or driving somewhere or something like that.

So make yourself comfortable as best you can and start off just by taking some deep breaths,

Some centering breaths.

And for these kinds of breaths you can inhale through your nose and notice the sensation of breath as it arrives in your body.

And then let your exhale come out your mouth and let yourself just sigh out.

If it's easy and appropriate for you to make a sound,

You might want to sound out.

So as you inhale,

Follow the sensation of inhale as it comes into your body.

Invite it in,

Track it.

And as you exhale,

Relax your jaw,

Relax your face and tongue and just sigh out and feel free to let out any sounds.

And let's take a couple more breaths like that.

And as you explore this kind of breathing,

There's just a process of arriving in the present moment.

And you can let the present moment arrive more fully into your body by relaxing any forward moving intention or outward moving intention.

And where we move forward and where we move outward is in the places where we receive information,

So our sensory organs.

And you can let your eyes relax and your ears relax and your nose and again your mouth and your jaw relax.

And as you breathe,

Feel that even your skin can soften.

And remember that your skin is also breathing.

It's also a porous and permeable membrane that can receive the external environment and that can also allow passage of anything that's needing to eliminate from your body through sweat mostly,

But also just through gases.

So inhaling,

Exhaling,

Imagining the passage of breath as it comes into your body,

Sensing the inhale as it travels through your nose,

Through your mouth,

Into your skull,

Down into your lungs.

As you exhale,

Letting yourself just let go and letting go of any forward moving future thinking,

Any ruminating or circling around ideas from the past,

Feeling yourself arrive in a soft kind of presence.

So there is attentiveness without grasping or need to focus in in any kind of hard way.

All right,

So the area of focus that we'll have for our work today are in the places where we kind of do a lot of emotional labor and where we hold attachments and specifically kind of primal or foundational attachments.

And where we'll actually begin is kind of in the navel area and belly.

So if you can bring your attention and this might include touch,

Laying one or both of your hands over your belly button and then allowing the front wall of your abdomen to relax.

So letting go of any muscular holding in your abs and inviting the movement of your breath to move down into your belly.

And as you exhale,

Again inviting any relaxation that's possible in your belly muscles.

And if you're moving around standing on your legs,

Walking or doing some other kind of movement,

It might not be totally comfortable or possible to fully let go of this part of your body.

So if you're in a movement practice,

You might want to be able to move your body a little bit more.

So if you're in a movement practice and it's possible to lower your center of gravity for a couple of breaths and really let your belly soften,

Do that.

If you're sitting,

Then find a way to sit so that you're over your sitz bones and your spine is elongated or fully rest back into some kind of support so that you can really just relax your tummy.

So I find that in my own body,

When I have a question about boundaries or attachment,

When I'm feeling like I'm overextending or when I'm feeling defensive or when I don't know if I have support or I get worried about whether or not I have support,

That this is one of the first places that I register that feeling.

So I find that in my own body,

When I have a question I register that feeling way before it's conscious in my mind.

I'll feel a tightness and a gripping in my belly.

And coming into a place of self-soothing and feeling that there is support for ourselves internally is also a reminder that you have what you need in a lot of ways.

You are capable of being your own good friend and capable of giving yourself emotional validation and affirmation,

Capable of meeting yourself where you need to be met.

And so you might visualize here your higher self and when I say your higher self I mean a sense of yourself as a spiritual being.

This could be your soul,

Your spirit.

Sometimes I imagine my higher self as like 50 feet tall and 20 feet wide and just a really big version of me that has my own best intent really at its core.

And best intent is not an ego manifestation.

It's not like oh and then I'm gonna make a lot of money or get to do all these things with my life.

It is more of an evolutionary perspective.

It's the best intent in terms of the soul layer and the true desire and presence with the intent of my spirit and the desire and presence for whatever it is that myself as the small human being will experience and grow through so that I can really live into that potential.

And you might also imagine your higher self as some kind of guardian and maybe it looks very different than you look in this life.

Maybe it's some kind of animal totem or a nature spirit or something like this but you imagine your higher self and imagine that being really holding space for you sitting or standing behind you and providing some kind of comfort that your human body can just rest into.

And as you sense into that presence let your belly soften and feel that there is this relationship,

This spiritual relationship,

A sacred relationship,

Between your human self and your higher self and it's available for you at all times.

And this is an anchor to your own best intent to your evolutionary purpose.

And then let's let our attention travel now up into a little bit higher in your body so around your solar plexus and your stomach and the actual organ of your stomach is below and kind of just behind your left rib and the right side of your left rib is below your left rib and the right side of your left rib is just below your left rib.

And if you use your hands to gently press underneath your left rib basket you might actually be able to feel the organ of your stomach.

And you might feel this through some kind of like nausea or you know if you just ate lunch you could probably feel that but there is a little bit of a denser tissue quality that's kind of squishy that's the organ of your stomach.

And our stomachs of course are the place where we receive nourishment,

Any nourishment that we eat and the navel center was the original place where we received nourishment.

So we're going from this more kind of primary foundational sense of connection up into the part of our bodies now that receive nourishment and have connection to the outer world as a place of support and sustenance.

As you sense this part of your body let your awareness expand to include your lungs and there's no need to breathe in any particular way here but feel that your lungs do expand and you might feel the rhythm of your breath as a gentle rocking.

And so you know probably that these guided meditations are made for the moon,

They come out with the new moon or the full moon and this particular meditation comes with the Cancer New Moon and Solar Eclipse July 12th 2018 and Cancer as a diacal energy rules the stomach and the fluid lining of the lungs this is called the pleura and it is the substance that keeps the tissue of your lungs attached to your ribs.

And so as you breathe now can you breathe into this space in your body from the lower ribs to the middle and to the upper ribs and just as we did with the navel center can you encourage kind of a relaxation and an acceptance of your breath and again allow yourself to receive whatever support you need so that you can really explore and discover this relaxation and softening.

And here I'm going to encourage sound so if you're somewhere where you can make strange sounds then I'd like you to let the sound initiate actually from your stomach and so if you put your hand just underneath your left ribs and take a deep breath in and then as you exhale just let out like a moan or a sigh or a huuuh and feel that the origin of the sound comes from here,

Comes from the place where your hand is and if you're nowhere where you can make a sound at this exact moment then see if you can let your out breath,

Your exhale initiate from this point and there's a feeling here of just being present for yourself,

Being present for whatever feelings are there and in the presence there's also the expression and this is delivered in the sounding or delivered in the exhale.

And then as you exhale,

You can feel the presence of your breath.

Okay and then again let's call to mind this image of the higher self,

However you see yourself there,

Whether it's the feeling of you as a bigger,

Vaster,

Sacred being,

Whether it's the knowing of your spirit as some other kind of being or resonating with a different kind of energy,

Just imagine what that is and if no images are readily coming to mind then I invite you to think of it as pure light,

As pure radiance and it could be any color,

So any kind of radiance that just feels good to you and imagine it encompassing the space around you and being a presence behind you that you can just rest into.

And here let's see if you can cultivate a sense of your best intent and the best intent as I was saying before is not about achievement,

So it's not like the intention to do or to be anything that you are not already.

The best intent is for your highest and greatest purpose to be filled and served,

For your wholeness,

For your happiness and for a sense of abiding peace within you no matter what the circumstances of your life are,

That you can find refuge,

You can find sanctuary in your own best intent and this is the idea that your best intent is a place to take solace in and to know that no matter what suffering arises in your life and it surely will,

That you are able and willing to experience the ups and downs of your life,

That you desire to transform and evolve through them and to come into the other side or through your experiences as a person that is even more whole,

That is even more healthy and that is participating in the wholeness and health of the world and communities around you.

Breathe into your goodness.

There is an idea in Buddhism around this notion of reincarnation that we've all been each other's mothers and if you're seeking compassion for someone or for yourself even,

You can look at that person,

That being and remember them as an infant and find the place in you that can connect to the desire to nourish and to nurture and to remember the goodness of and we think about kind of the archetypal mother energy and the nourishing and the nurturing of the goodness of the beings that one cares for and so in this visualization you can imagine this for yourself that there's a remembering of your own goodness and this is your best intent,

It is just remembering that goodness within you and any other things that arise,

All the voices in your head that might argue against that you go okay okay I hear you,

You're there but this goodness is there as well and in many ways this goodness is the common thread and it's the ground of your being.

And so can you imagine some kind of external force that remembers that for you and then just allow yourself to rest into it.

And in these places in your body around your navel center and then up around your solar plexus and your stomach and in your lungs can you breathe that in,

Can you breathe in your own goodness and can you breathe out your best intent.

Just remembering your goodness as you inhale and feeling it spread and move around you as you exhale.

Imagining yourself held and contained and supported by this higher being,

This higher spiritual self.

So when it comes to boundaries and attachments and relationships with other people,

This is the place to inquire towards,

This is the place to rest into and remember.

From this place,

This place is where you can find your inner peace,

Your inner peace that you can acquire towards,

This is the place to rest into and remember.

From this place,

Consider that boundaries are a gesture and an act of love,

That your highest self,

Your best intent,

Your goodness to support itself and wants to support the best intent and the goodness to exude and permeate the world around you.

And in order to do that,

You can't say yes to everything,

You can't allow everything in,

You need to know your own limits,

The limits of your abilities and the limits of your attention.

There needs to be a recognition that when there's an overextension or unboundariedness that sometimes this can result in a lot of injury both for you and for anybody else that you're relating with in that way.

There is also the recognition that really rigid boundaries that don't allow in also keep you imprisoned and keep you from feeling the love and the support that is around you that is available to you.

So as you rest back into this imagination of your higher self,

As you breathe in the support and the good intent and the goodness that this higher self remembers for you,

Call to mind anyone or anything in your life where you're struggling with boundaries or where you have questions about boundaries.

And imagine them,

Those people or those things,

In some kind of relationship to you,

Some kind of spatial relationship.

And as you breathe in the remembering of your own goodness,

Feel into the right distance,

The right relationship in terms of this spatial awareness between yourself and these other people or these other activities or things.

And the right relationship and the right distance is not what you think it should be or what any obligatory sense is.

It is where you can really rest in the knowing of your own goodness,

Where you can feel your best intent and where you can extend and exude and believe that mutual best intent with this other.

And for some people in some situations,

This might have a lot of distance.

There might need to be a lot of distance in order to feel that the good intent can be the space between.

And for other people or other situations,

There might need to be a relaxing and an opening up or a forgiveness and a letting in.

So where is the distance that you can feel your own best intent and their goodness,

That you can remember goodness in yourself and in them?

And consistently come back to your higher self,

To the resting in that being,

To the softness of your breath,

To the allowing in of your breath.

Tell yourself that boundaries and distance are not what you think they are.

Tell yourself that boundaries and distance evolve,

That what feels like the right distance now doesn't have to be this way forever,

But that whatever feels like the right distance for you right now is something to honor and to respect.

So we'll take another few minutes,

Few moments with that.

Calling into your mind any people or situations that you're holding a question around boundaries.

How close,

How far do you need to be?

How much can you give?

How much can you give to your loved ones?

How much can you give to your loved ones?

How close,

How far do you need to be?

How much can you give?

How much do you need to protect yourself or hold your own stability,

Your own structure?

And the answer can be a flexible answer.

It can be an evolving answer.

And it's the place where you can trust and sense into your own intent and where you can trust and sense into and remember the goodness of yourself and these others,

Other beings,

Other situations.

Right.

So it's a similar kind of process or exploration with attachments.

And attachments,

Of course,

Are bonds and the ways that we feel close and in relationship to other people in our lives.

As I said in the introduction,

I think that there are probably very deep attachment wounds for anybody who's alive right now.

And the extreme state of disconnect that we live in with our Earth and for most people that we experience in a social sense and familial sense,

This is extremely painful.

And as spiritual beings and as animals of the Earth,

We're communal.

And it is necessary for us to be in community.

We need other people and we need to know who our people are and that there's safety and acceptance.

And unfortunately,

Most of us have had many experiences that threaten our safety and that feel like they don't accept us.

So in this place of your body and your belly and around your navel center,

Around your stomach and into your lungs and chest,

Again,

Bring your awareness and what I'd like you to do is sense into any parts of your being that are resonating with aloneness right now.

And when I say aloneness,

I don't mean the kind of really satisfying alone time where you get to hear your own thoughts and just be in your own field.

I mean aloneness in a way that would feel like loneliness,

That would feel like isolation,

Or that might feel like a kind of rigidity or defensiveness,

Like I don't need anyone,

I don't want anyone.

So sense into the parts of your being that might hold traces of those feelings.

And regardless of any other feelings that might be there or circumstances in your relationships,

Aloneness might be present and you could have very wonderful close relationships and still time to time slip into loneliness,

Isolation,

Insecurity,

It's normal,

I think for everybody.

And then you can recall those experiences in yourself and feel them and feel their vibration in your body.

And notice what the sensation is in your belly and in your body.

And then once again imagine this higher spiritual self,

This eminence or greater being,

Spiritual friend,

Higher self that you can rest into,

That you feel all around you.

And then you can recall that feeling of aloneness in your body.

And then you can recall that feeling of aloneness in your body.

And then imagine a link between your human body and that spiritual body.

And I'm imagining this as a cord and I'm imagining my higher self kind of behind me and around me,

It's like I'm just resting into its embrace.

And I feel from my center,

From my navel and through my back body that there's a cord and attachment to this greater sense of self.

And that higher being is always stable,

It knows its place in the universe,

It sees beyond temporary relationships,

It remembers all of your past lives and knows all of your future lives.

It remembers before you were born,

Before you were conceived,

And it knows that someday your body will cease to exist but as a higher being it will continue and it will move on.

So whatever that sense is,

Your sense of a higher self,

Connect to that through your body.

And it may be that with all those words that I just said,

Your sense of a higher self is the earth itself,

Whatever continues and goes on after your body does not.

So you don't need to have any belief in reincarnation or spiritual beings or anything like that,

You might just imagine that the earth as a body is holding you and that your body is connected to it energetically.

And as you sense your own aloneness,

Your body is connected to it energetically.

And as you sense your own aloneness,

Remember this attachment,

Remember the attachment to this greater body that's behind and around you.

And allow yourself to receive that relationship.

And human relationships of course they come and go and they change over time and we create a lot of suffering for ourselves trying to hold on to people and situations being the same.

And in this remembering of a greater body that you're connected to,

There is the simple allowing of everyone to be connected to the greater body.

The simple allowing of everyone to be and letting go of the need to control or clasp or clutch.

There is also the softening and the allowing in,

The remembering that all relationships at least in their human form are temporary.

And what a gift it is to see and be seen,

To love and to be loved.

There is nothing to fear,

There is nothing to grasp at or hold on to,

Just relationships to experience as they arise.

And keep coming back to your sense of a greater self holding you,

Resting into that space,

Trusting it,

Knowing that it's there.

So if your eyes have been closed then go ahead and open them and if your eyes are already open then keep them open and use your eyes now to look around your environment and see whatever you see and as you see it you might name it and you might remember that it is a passing state of being.

It's a coming into being and it has a name right now and it formed from something and it will unform and become something else.

And feel in yourself this connection and relationship to a greater sense of being,

A higher spiritual self.

And as you sense that relationship just knowing everything changes and there's the best intent,

There is the desire for remembering goodness in whatever it is that you see.

And part of remembering that goodness is remembering its temporariness.

Things form and unform and in your own best intent you feel the desire to form and participate in forming bonds and relationships of care and mutuality,

Honesty and good boundaries,

Right ways of relating and you feel the desire to unform any bonds or ways of being that keep you isolated or that keep you in unhealthy spaces where your energy can't really be put towards your best intent.

So feel free to stay with this meditation for longer or when you're ready and whatever gesture makes sense to you this might be hands together,

It could be hands somewhere on your body,

Just bow to yourself,

Thank yourself for arriving and honor all the growth that you've been through and thank your higher self for guiding you even when you don't know what you're being guided towards.

Thank you so much for listening and practicing with me in this meditation.

If you find support and help for your life with these guided meditations please do share them and if it's possible for you consider donating a little bit to Embodied Astrology and helping support these ongoing free guided meditations and podcasts.

Thanks so much for listening and bye for now.

Reviews

This is a helpful and nourishing practice. Thank you. Namaste.

Thank you for this meditation

Thank you!

so amazing thank you Renee💚

Thank you so much. When you said to breathe into your goodness… I just cried uncontrollably. In this world we tend to forget that the life we is good.. I’m honored and truly blessed to have listened to this tonight. Thank you for the reminder. I needed this so much. Much love ♥️ & Thank you 🙏🏽

Thank you, Renee 💚