How To Let Go Of Self-Judgement And Express Yourself Fully

This was a hilarious session, my wifi was choppy and cut out. The attendees waited 20 minutes for me to come back. I was judging myself, I was tense, and I told the group! I expressed myself fully and I used these fresh insights to form the basis for the session. I talked about letting go of judgement and keeping it real and expressing oneself. Messy is what life is, life cannot be perfect. Perfection creates judgement.

If you got something from this session, I invite you to write to me

Transcript

So yeah, Destiny versus free will. We want to plan things right? We want to make sure we're prepared. And here's the thing, Let me use this example to frame what I'm about to say. I can say hey my computer is doing some stuff and it's nothing to do with me. Yeah, It's not my phone, It's just my computer and the internet or whatever, Right? And it probably is that. But I can also take the lesson from it and say, Hold on, I did slightly rush into this session. I rushed. I didn't come in a few minutes early like I usually do or five minutes early. I could have restarted my computer before. And that's not like to judge myself, It's to take the lessons. Because I'm smiling. You know why? Because when I had to restart my computer, I had all of these tabs open that had been open for days and days and weeks. You know when you don't actually shut down your computer and you just press the sleep button or whatever, Right? And then it loads up again and then all your tabs from the other day and weeks from before are still there, Right? I had to clear them all just now. I don't even know which ones they were now. They might have been something I wanted to look at, Right? But they're gone now. They're cleared. I've cleared the load. So you see, I think we have a part to play sometimes in how things turn out. Yeah, Things unexpected happen but there is also this involvement we have even if it's subconscious. And this is the part of karma yoga. You know karma, What goes around comes around. What are your thoughts actually? Let me pause there again because it's a great way for me to check if you can still hear me as well. To keep on pausing and checking in. Put in the comments what karma means to you. Thinking about like how do your actions affect your life. So what does karma mean to you? Put it in the chat and I'll tell you what it means to me after that. So what's everyone's thoughts? You know we often think like karma is don't do bad things to other people because it will come around, Come back around to us. But it's also like what are we doing to ourselves? How are we leading our lives? Can you guys still hear me? Put a thumbs up or something to just let me know. Let's check in. Yeah okay great thanks. You know there's certain things that we can do in life and we'll try our best to make whatever we want happen. But often what I found in my past was I was doing the things that I thought would give me peace and happiness and joy and love. Things like okay I've got to do this thing to impress this person or I better go on with vacation because yeah I feel like there's something missing. And those things are fine. That's what we are as humans right? We're just living our experience. But the path of karma yoga is to be on purpose. Is doing actions purposely, Purposefully let's say. Is knowing the ripple that actions can create. Like for example I can be in this session right now and I can you know you might have been on Insight Timer for the first time today and let's say session the first time. Well firstly you took the action to come here and then you were listening and then I might say one thing I might take the action to say one thing here that might change how you look at the world and then you might do something based off that. And you might bring that to another person and now their life start changing. So that's how I'm starting to see the world as this kind of ripple effect. And I'm not saying hey I'm the only stone that's doing all these ripples. I'm getting ripples come to me as well right? When I'm getting interaction from you guys or when I'm doing other stuff things are coming into me and then I take action based off that. So this part of like karma, Karma yoga is when you're taking conscious actions. Whereas living in your karma, Your default karma is when you're just you're a result of your memories and your mind of your default mode. For example I've had tons of challenges with anxiety. If that anxiety was ruling me still you know it's still in here by the way. Like the pattern, The thinking, The like process that occurs is still in here. I still feel it. I still know it very well. I don't know if this is going to happen. I don't know if this will happen. It's still there. But I'm not letting it determine my life anymore. I just see it as there. It's like if you went into the elevator and you had a bad smell. You just had this you just sense this bad smell. Yeah maybe the bad smell doesn't feel nice. But you get to decide what you do with that bad smell. Whereas if I was still living in default mode I would let all of this thinking that I'm still experiencing all of this stuff stop me. I would let it stop me. I would never have come and become a coach. I would never have had the audacity to say hey I can help people. Past me didn't have any confidence in that. I was like I couldn't help myself. I thought I was inadequate as a person. But that's the build up of karma that we have memories. Karmic memories, Weight that we carry. Whereas you get to break out of it. The day I said hey I'm going to become a coach. I was completely terrified. I called up one of my friends to have her soothe me into feeling good about it. Like it's going to be okay Raj. You're going to be great Raj. I wanted to have all this validation. You're going to be a good coach. Oh really you think? Do you think? Oh do you believe in me? I feel a bit better now. The truth is that stuff doesn't help as much as really going inward and doing it for yourself. We're chasing all of this stuff. But it doesn't have any significance really right? Because yeah well I became a coach and I continued to be terrified. I had my first session with someone and I was sitting there with these sticky notes all next to my screen so I can try and remember how to, What is a good coach and how do I do this well. Learning all the techniques. And those techniques are awesome by the way. They help me, All of them. And I still continue to develop myself right? But I was still scared. Still nervous about it. But I just did not let it stop me from creating what I want. Even now when I'm putting out new things like a group program. So I've got a group program. If anyone is interested let me know. It's going to be coming out in March. It's going to be 3 days intensive. But it scares the hell out of me. It scares the hell out of me to do new things. Like oh my god I'm going to find people. What if no one wants to come? What if no one shows up? I'm thinking it's going to be successful. But what if it's not? Freaking out. It occurs. So it's not like it's disappeared. That's what I want to make very clear. And I didn't know what I was going to talk about today. I usually freestyle stuff based on the current things that are going on. And this session I think I called it something about potential inside us. It's that whole thing that happened with the wifi that sparked something in me right now. It hit me. I was like oh my god. I noticed myself getting annoyed. I was like and then blaming myself for it. And then I called it out and I said oh wow wait. Wait right here. Wisdom speaks. Wisdom speaks right now. I connected with the wisdom. And I said okay slow down. Oh this is a lesson. That's why this is happening. Thank you wisdom. Thank you whatever internet things. And you know it's so funny. Now it's so smooth right. Now it's like smooth like water. Because it was there for me to receive that lesson in that moment. That's how quickly you can turn things around. You can turn everything into potential. Everything transmutes into like juice. I love to like drink this juice now. Eat up these like things that occur that are that my mind is telling me there's something wrong. I lived most of my life like that. Every moment was danger. I was thinking something's wrong. Every moment was like this terror adventure. Especially because I had social anxiety. Has anyone ever experienced social anxiety? Put in the chat something. Put yes or a wave I don't know. Or general like fear based on something that's about to start or come up. Social anxiety is anxiety about upcoming social things right. Seeing people. But then there's also anxiety in general. Just thinking a lot before stuff is going to happen right. Getting uncomfortable and unprepared and wanting to prepare. You guys can relate. When this used to occur I used to just think oh my god this again. When am I ever going to be free from this? It started from like 3 years old. It wasn't like something I started experiencing in like high school. It started from 3 years old. Just feeling uncomfortable and like I was left out of things. So what that did was it created this persona of things are wrong. There was just this like feeling of doom blooming around me. And it's crazy when I think about it now. Because whenever I'm doing things I have to remind myself all of the challenges I've been through. I don't want to think about ok what's happening for me now and where am I. I want to think about like what are people experiencing that I've experienced. And every time I come back to these memories. I remember waking up just terrified to go to work and then constantly checking how my hair looks and looking in the mirror just checking out my body and having like this oh well hmm I was really skinny as well. Really skinny so I was very un, What's the word? What's the word? Uncomfortable with my appearance let's just say. No insecure that's the word. And then I went to meetings and I'd be insecure about saying anything out loud because they might be wrong. I was the potential guy you know. And I see this a lot when I'm speaking to people now what I can very quickly see is a sign of them dimming their own light. Just by sometimes a little like change in the tone of voice I see that. Just by a little like the way their eye looks this way or down I see it. By the words they use sometimes you know the presuppositions to things or the like thinking and analysis or justification of oh but yeah you know. Because that's all been me all of it. And you know what hurt the most was knowing there was more right I don't know can anyone relate just knowing that this isn't really like my fullest potential. It's just this like quiet knowing inside of yeah I'm shutting myself down. Do you guys catch yourselves like noticing that within yourself knowing that there's a bit more potential but feeling blocked from it? Put something in the chat. I don't think I've met anyone who hasn't actually had this so I just want to tell you it's normal. It's not like I'm trying to bring everyone down into this story of misery let's call it. It's normal everyone has much more in them everyone. So we put on this role we play the role you know. But there's something inside you in your stomach. And I want to see if you can experience it now. So just start feeling your stomach area. Feeling all of your awareness there. And even down to your hips as well. You know we're our creative forces. It never clicked for me that we can make humans we can make other humans right. We have this ability to create things into existence and that power resides in your parts where you create humans let's just say for a nice way to say it. So feel into that area as well. Just be aware of it. Feel the energy moving around your hips. This stored cluster of potential. And now think of fire. Think of fire. Fire all around you. That life. In your stomach area. Spinning like a wheel. Spinning spinning. Feel your body getting tenser with life. With life. The fire in your stomach wants to expand. It wants to grow. Feel it. Breathe into it. Give it life. Keep your attention there for a few more moments. Now come back and tell me what comes up for you in the chat. Did you notice anything around that area? I'd love to hear. You know there's this phrase of, I don't know how it goes exactly but it says something about we're not scared of what we're doing or what we can't have. We're scared of our own potential. We're scared of how powerful you really are. And I replace scared with we suppress how powerful we really are. And I learnt, You know I went on this deep deep spiritual journey. I basically found out like what's really happening inside me. I thought anxiety, I thought self-esteem things, I thought it was being born this way, I blamed genetics. I said all of this stuff right? I went into the psychology of it. There's tons of that stuff all over the place. But you know what I realized? Digging into all of that keeps you stuck in the belief of the digging mode. If you put your attention and energy there then of course it feels like there is some huge problem. And this is not to dismiss anything. It's not dismissal. Yeah we have a mind which was created from memories and trauma and all of that stuff you can call it right? Yes it occurred. But the more we dig into it and focus on it and then go and look at the Jungian analysis and do all of this stuff like oh I've got this and that and that. I've got this bad side of me and this shadow and it's just creating more and more separation. More and more parts of ourself. For me what has helped and what I think helps the people I'm around is focusing on the light, The spirit, The heart, Whatever you want to call that and using this body as well. This amazing body we have. This body which has a chakra system, Energetic system. And again it's focusing on the development of it. It's not focusing and saying hey there's a problem here, There's a problem here. There was never actually a problem. It was our beliefs that got put into place. There was always potential. There's always that other mode we can go into where our mind doesn't matter. You know for example let's say I was thinking about writing a book which actually I started last year. I could say oh well what's a good writer and how do you become a good writer or how do you structure a book or yeah what do I have to say. I could go into all of that stuff. Who would want to listen to me? I've got all of these problems. Who am I? Or I can just go and sit down and write and be in the actual experience, The real experience. And everyone has been in nature at some point right? If you're walking into nature and you're just smiling and you're happy even if it's for a few moments all of your problems that you think are problems all of the thinking has dropped and you're in another elevated mode of thinking consciously. Consciousness increases and everything disappears. I was speaking to a client the other day and she said Raj you know what I don't want to talk about any limitations anymore. I was like whoa she said it doesn't make sense to talk about anymore because I'm moving forward. She said I just want to talk about moving forward and that's it because her consciousness had increased at that point. So with this whole thing of potential that I was experiencing I was thinking yeah you know all my life I was like I got potential and I was looking at other people comparing thinking I'm not good enough. It turns out that it doesn't really matter what other people are doing because that's again an analysis piece of work of that that person versus me. Again using the thinking the psychology. When I really started feeling into what is actually wanting to be expressed inside me what wants to come out so much so that it hurts not to let it out. I started looking at that instead. And you know what it is here's the punchline here's the underscore of everything I'm saying because I notice I might be rambling now and I've caught myself. My awareness has just been like hey Raj let's get let's just cement all of this right now. Here's the punchline. Before I say that actually let me ask you a question. What comes to mind when you think about life force or Kundalini energy? What comes to mind I just want to see in the chat and then I'll tell you what my experience has been. Life force, Chi. Tell me what your thoughts are about life force, Chi, Kundalini. And then I'll tell you the punchline that I was about to say. Anyone? Thank you Samantha I'm glad. Okay. AJ says balance. Anyone else? Energy yes. That's a good word. Oneness yeah also good. So we have this this force going through us right that keeps us alive and I used to think oh it's my breath it's my blood and my body. Well there's something keeping everything alive right something keeps everything alive the planets are alive as well right. There's something keeping stars alive the water all of it something is keeping it alive like it's literally it's literally alive right. It's the vital life force that goes through everything and what I learnt was that I was suppressing this because you know what it is it moves through our body and it wants to move it wants to be flowing it wants to flow freely it's like this graceful thing that moves through us it wants to flow freely like water does right and we're made of so much water as well but the energy behind it the animating force is moving through us. If there is thinking that suppresses it and it says this is not good this life force is doing something bad this life force is trying to express something wrong so I'm going to stop it. It's like putting a cap on a volcano it's going to get vicious. So I realized it hit me so hard when this happened and I realized I was like oh my god every challenge I've ever had has been because I've been suppressing something that's been wanting to flow through me. It hasn't been because I have this condition called anxiety disorder. Yeah that's the thing that's occurring in my psychology that's what ended up happening I ended up believing that and playing in the role of that but that all happened because I suppressed expressing myself when I was like four years old. I wanted to say something I wasn't comfortable in certain situations and then somebody put judgment on me you know not their fault I'm not like saying it's a bad person but someone I just felt suppressed I felt like I couldn't be myself when I was that young so then that suppression was locked it was like a lock was in place for the rest of my life it was a lock the flow was blocked the flow of energy was blocked. So I realized well okay so if I just put all of my attention on expressing myself on allowing this life force to move then everything started changing I didn't need to analyze like what caused it to move it's like if you were in a if you were next to a river and you saw this like tree blocking the river flow yeah you might think oh what's caused this to like you might think for a moment okay what's caused this this branch to be there what's caused this this tree to fall over and block it but ultimately ultimately moving the tree moving the tree is all that matters moving the thing that's blocking and the tree is our own thinking the tree is our own thinking about it it's our thinking about oh my god there's a tree there it's all my fault I put that tree there I did this all the shame I had a ton of shame as well but when you drop all of that and you just focus on expressing yourself it's like the highest high it's no longer a problem it's more of a personal development thing now it's more of like giving yourself life then your body's energy flows better then you feel more joyful then you feel like doing other stuff then you you stray away diseases because imagine you're vibrating at a higher level and your body's just passing you're smiling more all those things cause like change the system the hormones everything changes in the body genuine I genuinely believe that this this changes everything it creates success in careers it allows you to think more creatively creating solutions it allows your health to improve your relationships imagine you're more loving with people now because you're more expressive so that's what I realized after all this time that if I focus on the life force letting it move through me then I can tap into my potential it's like we have this inner GPS inside us this compass which is pointing in places and our mind is like no no compass it's not a good idea to go north don't don't do that stay safe you know it's like the whispers of our ancestors so no don't no don't that's dangerous that's dangerous that's dangerous don't do that it's the whispers it's saying the compass is wrong don't listen to the compass it's dangerous make sure you wear your coat it's cold outside make sure you don't get a fever you're gonna get sick you're gonna fall over don't do that it's the whispers of our ancestors but remember the compass is always right the compass will keep on redirecting you it will keep on saying come on listen listen the spirit inside the energy inside but if you ignore it of course there's depression because it's like ignoring it's like ignoring life every facet of life it's like if I was gonna ignore my organs and my hunger when it says eat it's like if I was ignoring like my body which is telling me to sleep yeah you can keep ignoring it but eventually it's gonna go against you and it will build up years after year and it turns into resentment that's what I ended up having resentment for life and people and everyone and things and myself festers it rots away until you actually come back and you say I'm gonna give myself life no wonder we like vacations it's freedom we're doing what we actually want to do no wonder people are into weird stuff sometimes you know to liberate themselves and why people have these like periods of like what do they call it yeah I don't know like massive self-expression experimentation because they're just letting it out it's beautiful musicians they're letting it out it's beautiful it's flowing artists and ever since this has started for me I've had this newfound love for sound and art and just humans in general just everything to do with like this this alive energy and I guarantee if you focus on that you're gonna see everything change your health your relationships your career everything and that's what I represent it's like I've been I've been recruited by this force now to be a worker of it let's say so I want to leave it as that let me see what are your thoughts guys what comes up and ultimately that's how you tap into the potential because the potential is this is the creative nature is that that's inside you that wants to be released so what are your thoughts questions thoughts comments any insights where you just heard something I said and you're like oh well maybe you even had an insight where you're like no I don't agree with Raj yeah Raj is you know his long hair has turned him into whatever right maybe that's how you feel that's okay even that is creating some insight for you even if you don't agree with me that's great because it will create more insight for you so put some questions comments chat in the chat and let me know what your thoughts are before we wrap up someone said this is game changer information yeah the fears of our relatives have been transmitted to us and I think it's okay right there's nothing wrong with that it's not like saying oh my god they did this to me I went down that route actually and it wasn't very nice because then again it's like holding resentment I had to do a lot of forgiveness work I had to do a lot of stuff like that right just like seeing the reality no one did anything wrong no one it just is what it is so Mel says I had this feeling this life force energy when I returned from traveling yeah I love that same for me when I when I was traveling and when I returned I was just like full of life I was walking around with the spring in my step because there's this freedom right we know that we're living our lives there's nothing more beautiful than knowing that you're living your life right it's just magical living inside the world rather than in our heads in our heads there's a whole different party going on kiran says it made me want to reach out and book time to have a mirror on when I'm dimmed my light scary but needed yeah check yourself before you wreck yourself right yeah just be honest with yourself I have to do that a lot and I get coached I get coached as well right just to see like what are my blind spots when am I not seeing that I'm dimming myself and when I do see it I'm like oh my god whoa and then I get that liberation again the life force flows it flows it flows it flows I don't need to be anywhere I just need if I'm just here sitting here feeling free and alive I don't need to go anywhere it's great David says realizing big fear around being me if I'm not who I'm supposed to be who am I are interesting yeah who are you supposed to be who decided who you're supposed to be right there's all of these supposed to be that we have I have them too who decided and you know what it is scary to know that there are no guidelines that's scary too so this whole thing about like spirituality people find it challenging and don't go deep enough because it starts to get scary it starts to freak you out like wait life isn't what I thought it was what then what is life who am I all these questions right come up who am I what do I do with my life the rules start crumbling and it's scary I've freaked out many times but if you can get through that you realize there's light with nothing with no rules apart from the ones you decide for yourself consciously yeah it's beautiful alright any questions before we finish I think we're gonna finish in a moment I'm so glad that the internet wasn't working you know I'm feeling this like I'm feeling this like joy for this for that 30 minutes of everything just being a mess you could just catch yourself like that right you can be like oh my god life is so funny isn't it life is so funny how it how it works out and my lesson from that is because I like to get my own lessons all day long right my lesson is Raj why rush today I don't usually rush but in these past hours I've been rushing I've been writing things and trying to do too much so great lesson for me when there's chaos is yeah there's no need to rush everything's all good everything's all good so if you have any questions guys hit me up on Instagram Raj Garcia I would love to connect with you I'd love to hear your your stories and your adventures when things go wrong it is really fun hearing like people's what's happening with them and not to laugh at anyone it's just to find the insight in them like whatever is happening you can kind of insight and you can take the weight off it no matter what there's always a way to take weight off things whatever it is even if it's challenging so let's connect drop me a message on Instagram or on insight timer directly just say hey you know maybe I'm someone you relate to maybe there's something we have I don't know I don't know you personally you can you can hear me you can hear what I'm saying but I can't hear you so yeah it's it's on you to connect and I invite you to do that you know we can become friends so this is my invitation let's let's talk I wanna and you know why I say that because what's happening more for me recently is just wanting to connect with my tribe my like-minded people I don't want to just be like this person who's who's talking and yeah helping people I want to I want to build a community I want to build people around me because I realize the people that I don't connect with I've had to leave some people behind and that's hard so I just want to bring more people that I do connect with closer to me you know whatever that is even if it's just like this one thing that is that connects us it's crazy I'll be speaking to someone on the other side of the world sometimes and that happens a lot because of things like this right and I'll be like we've never met but we're so connected and I can't connect like that with people I've known for 20 years sometimes it's just beautiful and I think that's what my year is going to be about my entire year is going to be about um yeah building community connecting with the people that are my people and we have good vibes and that's the same with the course that I'm doing on March so it's a month from now if you're interested in hearing more let me know I want to invite people that are genuinely genuinely interested in being more connected with themselves as well as like-minded people and the course is well it's a group coaching program let's say three days intensive so we're going to spend three whole days together it'll be like five and a half hours each day and it's going to be going into the areas of mind soul and embodiment it's what I call the Trimurti if anyone knows anything about Hinduism the Trimurti just represents our three modes of being there's this massive thing about the power of three that's been coming up for me a lot and it's connecting to your thinking mode in a more intelligent way connecting to your feeling your heart your soul the present in a more potent way and then connecting with the creator inside you the doer the action and that's more future focused right and the reason I'm doing this is because I've spent so long trying to figure out like what is what do I believe is the way that most humans thrive and I genuinely believe is these three I sat down with myself and I just said like how do I live my life best and it's always with that it's always with the mind the heart and the body being in one unit working together that's what yoga is right union so if you want to hear more about that I've got like this page that I can send you it has all the details and yeah if you're interested like I said I just want to attract people who are on my vibes and I'm not trying to like sell or have any tactics around this it's just if you're interested if something connects with you drop me a message and we can just have a casual conversation about it I'd love to hear from you otherwise I'm doing a session like this every week every Monday next Monday same time there is Instagram stories I just post all the time check my Instagram out for sure and there's a bunch of book recommendations there's 30 days of ego talks there's all sorts there's articles I've written it's like a resource monster in there so yeah if you're interested check me out on Instagram and yeah David says definitely interested can you send me the page yeah send me a message on Instagram insight timer Facebook or you can Google my name and then type link tree next to it Raja Garcia link tree and you should find my name you should find my page which has a way to contact me basically so yeah David hopefully that gives you what you need and I look forward to speaking to you and whoever else all right guys I think I'll leave it there yeah I think I'll leave it there for now yeah there is a powerful beings group as well I don't know if anyone's using that anymore because it's gone very quiet but yeah anyone wants to join you can join the powerful beings group all right guys I want to leave it there and I will speak to you soon have a wonderful evening look out for the lessons look out for all of your lessons in life even the like whatever's happening where it seems like there's madness going on like my internet connection earlier right look out for lessons live in the moment catch yourself what's my anxiety levels lately um that's a very interesting question I don't know let's just say energy levels are higher because I think that's what anxiety is it's an increase of energy it's increase of energy and then thinking around the energy so yeah I'm not sure how to answer your question but maybe there is a bit of an anxiety actually but I'm seeing it in a good way if that makes sense all right guys I'm going to leave it as that and have a wonderful day and we'll speak soon.

Reviews

Thank you for the clarity; and the encouragement to express our humanness ❤️

Very helpful and insightful way to reframe and clarify things I’ve known intuitively, but haven’t been able to really use effectively to help my continuing inner awareness and growth. I like the slow, casual pace - that helps me absorb and begin to process what I’m hearing. Thank you, Raj!

Loved it…Thanks Raj!

Raj, this was informative & courageously from the heart. Thank you for a wonderful talk.🙏🏻🌸