Let's close our eyes.
Let's close our eyes.
Let's close our eyes.
Let's close our eyes.
Let's close our eyes.
Let's close our eyes.
Let's close our eyes.
Let's close our eyes.
Let's close our eyes.
Let's close our eyes.
Let's close our eyes.
Let's close our eyes.
There's always the easy option of not going,
Not meeting,
Not hosting,
And which is a very valid option.
But if your heart is not at rest,
Making that kind of a choice,
That is,
Wanting to go is more powerful than not wanting to go.
Then we have a dilemma at hand,
Confusion,
A source of stress.
And it builds up as we get closer to the holidays.
Many times we look forward to being done for that relief.
I'm sure there is a better way than that.
We don't want to go through such a beautiful time of the year,
Just waiting for it to be over.
And this way could be different for each one of us.
Thank you.
Anytime you have more than one human being,
There is bound to be some sort of drama.
I mean,
We can attest to it,
Even at work.
When we involve more people in the meetings,
There's always discussions about something that is probably not relevant to the meeting at hand.
It's just the nature.
But what can we do about it?
Or rather,
What can we bring to the table?
If we zoom in and try to understand why this drama happens,
We will learn a few things.
Firstly,
We or someone bring an agenda,
Opinion,
To the gathering.
Every gathering is different.
Even gathering with the same people is different at different times of the year.
As if it has its own life.
So more often than not,
Drama is created when we bring any kind of a specific agenda,
Consciously or unconsciously,
And most of the time unconsciously.
It could be about showing off where we are in life.
It could be hiding where we are in life.
And everything in between.
Lack of interest brought forcefully there.
And every agenda has a different behavior.
Lack of interest implies one is completely checked out.
They're in their own zone,
Completely oblivious to the gathering.
People who want to show off.
They just want to talk about themselves.
People who want to hide.
They're just uncomfortable.
Sometimes we have people with agenda only to complain.
Only to find what's wrong.
A knee-jerk reaction that we might have now that we are hearing this.
Now that we are hearing this.
We should try to fix things.
Try to strategize.
That might lead to our own agenda.
Think of these gatherings as an event which is alive,
Which has its own life.
Throughout the planning process.
Actually meeting.
And everyone going back home.
Like a wave arising in the ocean and then subsiding back into the ocean.
The whole thing is a process.
It's good to have intentionality.
But we can't have intentionality at specific behaviors of others.
We can't wish behavioral change for other people.
Or any kind of change for other people for that matter.
Then what can we bring to the table?
If we realize the crux of gathering.
It's to celebrate.
Celebration is a very sacred act.
That humans involve in.
But it is still very sacred.
And if we understand this.
The responsibility is ours.
Because we are the one exploring these topics.
Celebration is sprinkled or infused with love.
With sharing.
Around food and fire.
No celebration happens with good food.
Or no celebration happens without good food.
But that's the tangible part of the gathering.
Of the celebration.
Laughter is a subtler aspect of it.
It doesn't have to be stress all the time.
So what we bring to the table is this presence that we have.
This understanding that there is bound to be drama.
But it doesn't have to ruin anything.
We can be present.
We can be sensitive to what is happening around us.
Sometimes it might require us to say something.
To stand up for someone.
At other times it might require us to diffuse it with some joke.
Or a side story.
But the agenda is not to do something.
The agenda is to be present.
The agenda is to give.
In whatever way we can.
Appreciate.
Be grateful.
Think of the time during COVID where we were longing for human contact.
We don't want to be in a situation where we are complaining about human contact.
Intention is a very strong thing.
Being present fuels that intention.
The clothes,
The gifts,
All those things are peripheral.
What people leave with after at these gatherings is memories.
They remember how they felt.
You remember how you felt.
Others remember how they felt in your presence.
Was there warmth?
Was there kindness?
Was there humor?
Not the insensitive make fun of someone else humor.
This hesitation that we have.
Or this avoidance of even thinking about it that we have.
It's better to go for a walk or write it down in a journal.
And then meet it with this understanding.
That we just explored.
The romantic idea of everything,
Everyone will behave just perfectly is a very romantic idea.
How everyone should behave is an idea that involves someone else doing something.
But our hearts understand that a simple act of just being present,
Being sensitive,
Being grateful.
Even if there is one person in these gatherings who is bringing that,
The texture of the celebration will be much different.
I would encourage you to experiment with this.
Do not to trust my words,
But to actually verify for yourself.
Verify how you feel.
Celebrations and gatherings are not about what happens there,
It's about how everyone feels.
Feeling can be felt.
And your feeling can be felt by someone else as well.
So what will you bring to the table?
Thank you.
