This meditation is one for working through situations where you struggle to set boundaries and just hoping to really integrate or assimilate the fact of how not having boundaries is impacting you.
Because when we feel the impact of things on a physical level it makes change much easier than just doing if we intellectually understand oh I need to set boundaries but if you're not really feeling how it's impacting you it's it's harder to to take action.
So this will hopefully inspire you to take action with time.
So finding finding that comfortable position that magistrate posture whether it's sitting or lying down but just so long as so as you can stay awake stay alert stay present but also soft and comfortable as relaxed as possible.
So closing your eyes if you're comfortable and if you're not comfortable with the eyes closed just gazing softly at a candle or somewhere in the distance.
And inviting the body to soften to let go of unnecessary holding unnecessary tension.
Finding finding stillness within perhaps connecting with the body parts of your body are in contact with the floor or the chair or whatever it is you're sitting or lying on.
Connecting with how it feels to have clothing on your skin and how it feels to be alive.
Breathing so that rhythmic presence of the breath noticing that.
Body breathing where can you feel your breath?
Belly,
Chest,
Sides of the body,
Back of the body,
Throat,
Nose,
Where can you feel your breath?
And maybe even noticing how every every breath is a little bit different.
No two breaths are the same.
I'm just really using the breath to anchor you in the present moment so that as we go through this practice if you find yourself this practice if you find yourself getting caught up in thoughts distracted overthinking just whenever you notice letting go that thought going back to the body coming back to the breath.
As you now bring to mind a situation where you struggle to set boundaries.
So some situation where you struggle to speak up to express yourself where you or where you go into people pleasing and doing things for others.
So just choosing one one situation there's likely to be a few the more recent but better because it's easier easier to work with as it's still fresh in your memory.
Just finding one scenario in your recent past where you struggle to set a boundary to express yourself or just to or you fell into people pleasing patterns and picturing picturing the scenario in your mind.
So where where were you?
Who was there?
What was happening?
What was being said?
Just all all the details remembering it and noticing how how how do you feel physically in your body as you as you remember this you know maybe some maybe it's this particular area where there are strong sensations or maybe there's numbness or maybe it's a general feeling feeling in the body.
So just noticing what do you feel in your body and labeling labeling the sensation so it could be a color it could be a texture it could be a tingling squeezing tightness knots numbness hot cold just noticing where where can you feel this experience in your body how does your body feel as you go through this experience and what what are those sensations so labeling the sensations or the colors or the textures acknowledging them noticing how they feel and if it helps you complete place a place a hand on that part of your body so that feels good and supportive you know recognizing that that you're here that these hands are here to support you that you're trying your best and that you're acknowledging how this feels physically and now checking in emotionally what emotions do you feel as you still replaying this scenario in your mind not not getting caught up in in stories or justifications just really sticking with the bare the bare facts of replaying the scenario in your mind and now noticing what what emotions do you feel as as you go through this and labeling them there might be sadness anger frustration feeling unloved shame guilt whatever emotions are there just acknowledging them and allowing them to be there you are allowed to feel feel whatever it is you're feeling giving yourself permission to feel these things it is safe to feel these things these emotions are communicating things to you so acknowledging and labeling those emotions connecting with how they feel physically in your body and asking what what are these emotions and feelings communicating to me what needs are they they asking to be met what are they communicating and seeing if an answer comes there's no pressure for an answer to come sometimes it takes time to process these things and an answer will come maybe later today another day or the next time you do this practice there's no no pressure if nothing comes but but posing the question what are these these feelings and emotions communicating what needs are they asking to be met and then asking the question what can i do to take care of this part of myself what can i do what what do i have control over that would allow me to provide for these needs to take care of myself more often than not the primary reason we we self-abandon or people please or struggle with boundaries is because we want to be loved and we're afraid if we express our truth that we won't be loved or we'll be rejected or we'll hurt others and in turn um move away from love away from love so if that is there acknowledging that and finding some some some way of expressing some loving loving kindness towards yourself so it could be placing a hand on your heart it could be wrapping your arms around you and giving yourself a hug it could be affirming internally i love you i see you i know you're trying your best it could be giving yourself a kiss on the shoulder the hand could be visualizing yourself filling with warm light so just seeing what can you do right now to show yourself a little love little compassion and noticing how you feel in your body as you as you express this this loving kindness this compassion perhaps there's resistance perhaps it feels uncomfortable that's okay too recognizing that that's there if it is and acknowledging it or maybe you find the body softening opening up maybe you find sadness bubbling up as you realize all the ways you don't love yourself just tuning in how does it feel to show yourself a little love a little compassion how does it feel emotionally labeling emotions if they come up allowing them to be there and how it feels physically does it has your do you feel different how you felt at the beginning of the practice and if so what where do you feel it what does it feel like and connecting back in with the breath noticing the body breathing that gentle rhythmic presence of the breath and if your hands are in contact with your heart recognizing that that these hands are here to support you you're trying your best and that is not enough not coming back to the questions of of what are these emotions communicating and how can you better take care of this part of you and if answers came really acknowledging those answers and setting the intention to do what you can to better take care of you and then just taking three deep breaths to finish off slowing down the breath as much as is comfortable breathing in deeply and breathing out slowly the internal space increasing and decreasing as you breathe in and out and then allowing the breath to settle to return to its natural rhythm and whenever you're ready opening the eyes and going back to your surroundings
