Class 3 | Peace Is Not Chasing

In the 3rd class of this series, we explore one of the most common mind movements that pulls us out of the present moment: chasing - the feeling that peace, happiness, or “being okay” is always in the next moment and never here.

We look at how the brain’s wanting system (the motivation–reward pathway) keeps us reaching for the next thing - the next purchase, the next moment, the next message, the next bit of relief, the next spiritual teaching - and how this system is designed for us to want not to be happy and content.

In this class, we also introduce the first of five mantras for our meditation practice: Peace is not chasing. Using the mantra in our meditation helps us remember when we're going about our day - so we're more likely to notice the chasing mind and in noticing we return again and again to the peace that is always here. Because peace isn’t something we get to - it's something we keep leaving when we chase the next moment.

Transcript

Okay, So we are at the classes now where we're going to start bringing in the mantras. And the mantras are all based on the ways in which we think in the default mode network, The mind-wandering part of our brain. And as we said last week, Mind-wandering is not a bad thing. We need to be able to mind-wander. We need to be able to think. So really, The mantras are helping to point us when we've gone too far, When we've moved in to the default mode network instead of visiting it. So we're going to be using the mantras in our meditation. And by using them in our meditation, It's going to help us to be more mindful, To help us see more easily the ways in which we keep taking ourselves out of the present moment, The ways in which we keep getting lost in this habitual type of thinking and distracting ourselves, And really distracting ourselves away from the peace that is here and now, The peace that we say that we want, The peace that we say that is so important. And yet we just have these habits of getting a little bit too far, Of taking our attention away from what it is that we most want, The peace that is here. So there's two main mind movements that we are particularly concerned with. And the one mind movement is this chasing, This desiring, This craving, This wanting mind movement, The my happiness is over there mind movement. And then on the other side, The other side of the same coin is this resisting mind movement, This aversion, This not wanting, The pushing back on what's happening and how this is making me so unhappy. And so these are the two main mind movements that we're concerned about. And then all the other ways in which we habitually think that takes us out of the present moment fall under these two categories. So it's the wanting and the not wanting. And we use the example in the first class, It's like one foot on the accelerator, One foot on the brake. And we're just, We're constantly pumping the brakes and we're constantly, You know, Flattening out the accelerator. And this is not healthy for us. So for today's class, We're going to be looking at the mind movement of wanting, Of desiring, Of chasing. And just to reiterate, Or again, Just to give a little balance, Wanting something in the future in and of itself is not a problem. Like wanting to come on a Dharma talk, Wanting to meet your friends later at the cafe, Go for a walk, Wanting to have a partner in your life, Like nothing wrong with kind of, Huh, Yeah, That sounds nice. I think I would like that. The problem is that we believe that these things are going to fundamentally transform who we are. They're going to take away all of our insecurities, Going to take away all of our fears, All of our problems. That when we think, Well, When I finally get that promotion, Right, Then I'm going to feel like once I get that recognition of the promotion, Then I'm going to feel like I truly belong. I'm finally going to feel whole. I'm finally going to feel okay. Or if it's the partner, Once I find my soulmate, Once I find that perfect person, Then I'm going to be complete. I'll never want for anything again, Right? Then I'll be complete. This other person is going to complete me. Or even if it's just, I just got to get to the next moment. I just got to get over there. And just this sense that somehow I'm going to feel more okay in the next moment than I do in this moment. And so it's not that we don't, Of course, Get something out of these things, But it's very fleeting. And what we're not getting is the lasting contentment and satisfaction and feeling that we belong and feeling that we're okay and the peace. We're not getting that. And yet this is where we spend so much of our energy, So much of our focus, Trying to chase things that can give us a fleeting happiness at best, Only to then have it fall through our fingers and then continue the chase. And so this wanting mind movement, In fact, Yes, Harmony, Like you're saying, Once I lose that 20 pounds, Then I'll finally have success. Then I'll finally be happy. It's just once I have X, Fill in the blank, And then I'll be eternally happy. But these things cannot give us eternal happiness. Because what's happening when we're focusing on the external world, When we're focusing on our external conditions and wanting something, We're activating the motivation reward pathway in our brain. And every time we activate that pathway, It is not a happiness pathway. It is not a pleasurable pathway. It is a wanting pathway. It is endless wanting. The objective of that pathway is to get us to want. And so if we go back to our ancestors, And like really go back, Like think of caveman times, When one of the members of the tribe, Maybe mind wandering, Thinking about the day, And thinking about, Oh, That watering hole is looking like it's starting to dry up, Or for whatever reason, It's probably not going to be a good watering hole anymore. We need to go find a new watering hole. So the next day, They go off and they're trekking through the jungle or forest, And they're looking for a new watering hole. And it's the motivation reward pathway that is giving them the energy, The focus, The drive, The persistence to go and get the watering hole. Stay focused on this. This is something that you need. So it gives us that kind of stimulated feeling, That high arousal feeling like, Yeah, I got to go get this. We want it. And then once we get, We find the watering hole, We find the good watering hole. Once we get it, And we feel good because we found something that we need, We're probably thirsty at that moment, So we've got some water. The reward is the watering hole. The motivation reward pathway tapers off once we have found the reward, The watering hole, That was the reward. But then a little while later, It just starts back up again. Oh, Now, What else do we want? We should go and find other food sources. We should go and find other materials, Other tools, Or things that we can make tools out of, Or make things that we need around the cave, Right? Because it's not a satiation system. It's not a satisfaction system. It's a wanting system. It's meant to make us want things that are going to help us survive, Right? We don't say, Oh, My God, This was my dream watering hole. I'd always fantasized about this watering hole. Now I don't need to want for anything anymore, Right? It's not satisfaction. It is a wanting system, Wanting things that will keep us alive. So working very well for an environment when really what we were focused on were things to survive. But now, Where we live in a world where we have endless things, Endless options, Endless variety, Endless choices, I mean, We're activating the system over and over and over. And we think we have convinced ourselves that this is a happiness system, That once I get that, I will finally be satisfied. And we can see how when we go onto online shopping, The very first time that we went to an online shopping website, It was exciting. Look at all of these things that we can get with just a few little clicks of our fingers, Right? And the dopamine motivation reward pathway would have really been activated. We would have had a sharp rise in dopamine. It would have been saying, Pay attention to this. Wow, Look at everything that you can get right here. But then because of the novelty, Because of the newness of this, We also would have had an increase in pleasurable systems. So in fact, Because this is such a new and novel and amazing things, All these things for us to survive, We would have also been recruiting other systems in the brain that give us a pleasurable feeling. Because everything in our brain is saying this is amazing, This is fantastic. But then after just a few times of doing the online shopping, The pleasure part starts to habituate because it's no longer a novelty. It's no longer something new. And all we are left with is the wanting. And all of the online shopping vendors know this. So when we go to do online shopping, And we're trying to legitimately, You need to buy something. You find it and you put it in your shopping cart. And then your eye just happens to fall in a place that they know your eye is going to fall. And it says, Oh, Other people who bought this item also bought this item. Oh, Oh, Yes. Well, Let me take a look at this item too then, Right? And then we keep going because it's showing us all these other items as well. And they know we have activated the wanting system. And so we get in this little frenzy of, Oh, Yes, And that too. And oh, Look, And this is on sale, And there's only two left. And all of these ways in which they manipulate us to keep just very easily just adding into the cart, Adding into the cart, Adding into the cart. By the time we get to the cart, We've forgotten half of the things we ordered, Or we've forgotten the original thing that we even came for. And if at any point that we would pause in this frenzy of wanting and really came into our bodies and felt what was here, We would notice it doesn't feel good. We're so locked into the story of, Oh, You know, Look, I'm going to get this homemade pasta maker, And now I'm going to be the person that makes pasta, And my life's going to be so amazing, Or so locked into, I'm going to get this new ab machine, And I'm going to have the six-pack abs, And my life is going to be so amazing. We're so locked into the story of what we think we're going to get, The happiness we think we're going to get from these things. We do not even notice how miserable it makes us feel. The sense of this frenzy, Of this energy, Of just constant, Of more wanting, Of more wanting, It doesn't feel good. And then, Of course, Once the items arrive that we've forgotten about again, Half of them, And several of them, Okay, Let me put it in this shelf, Let me put this away, Or maybe I'll put this in the garage, Half of them never to be seen again, Because we didn't really need them, And we're already moved on to the next thing. And so, The Tibetans have this great saying, This amazing saying, Emily, I'm headed right there, Where they say, Desire puts feathers on things, It makes things look prettier than they really are. And it is how we can walk into our closets with absolutely packed, Full of clothing, Some, Like you say, Emily, We've never even worn. And with all honesty and sincerity, We can say to ourselves, I have nothing to wear, Nothing looks appealing anymore. And if we were to look on the floor of our closet, We would see all the feathers, Because every item that we purchased, We put feathers on it at the time that was the, Oh, The flowy outfit that's going to make me feel more peaceful and more spiritual, Or it's the, Oh, This is the suit that's going to make me feel more, More, You know, Powerful and strong, Or, Oh, This is the shirt that's going to make me feel more attractive, Right? We put feathers on every single one of those items. And then the feathers always fall off, Eventually. And we just, We have closets full of clothes, We don't want to wear. Garage is stuffed with things to the point where then we've got to do a garage sale just to get it all out, Only to refill it again, Because what we are activating is a wanting system, Not a satisfaction system. And so, Of course, If we look also at our phones, Our phones more aptly, Should be more aptly called wanting devices, Because this is all they are. I mean, Sorry, I shouldn't say that. They can be helpful. There's balance here. But there is so much built in wanting in our phones, Just like the first time we went on the online shopping websites. It's on the first time that we go on on our phones, And this is amazing, And I can check the weather, And I can check stock quotes, And I can check the news, And send photos and messages, And this is amazing. And the dopamine systems activated, And the pleasure systems are going, Wow, Novelty, This is amazing, This is fantastic, And it feels so great. And then after a few times of using the phone, The novelty wears off. And all we're left with is the wanting. And so often throughout the day, We are reaching for our phones, And we tell ourselves like, No, I just need to check the news. I just need to check and see what's going on right now, Because there's a lot going on. It's important. I want to stay informed. And I'm not saying that some of that isn't true, But way more of it than you realize is just this compulsion, This feeling of being compelled to reach for it again. The wanting, It just keeps getting activated, And we keep looking, And we just need to check my email. I just need to check my text. I just need to check social media, Right? I want to stay connected, And see if anyone's reaching out to me. And we give this very valid reason, But so much of it is really, We're just, We're compelled to reach for the phone. And we keep putting these reasons over the top of it, And not even realizing that most of our actions are really just programmed. And even in spirituality, Where so much of spirituality is technology-based, Right? This is how we're communicating right now over the Insight Timer app. And it's wonderful, And it's amazing that we have so much at our fingertips. But we're using this wanting system as we go from teacher to teacher, From teaching to teaching, And never giving time. For the teachings to land. That all peace is just, It's in the next teaching, It's in the next teacher, It's in the next moment. Awakening, Enlightenment's always in the next moment. It's always out there. It's never here. And of course, Even food. Think about food. Not whole foods, Not real food, But processed food. It is engineered to activate the wanting system. This is what they openly say, That it's not about satiation, It's not about nutrition. It's about wanting that the moment that potato chip hits your tongue, You're not savoring the flavor, The saltiness, The crispiness, That it's good, Right? You're not savoring it. You're already reaching for the next chip. Because it's a wanting system. This is what we keep activating, Is a wanting system. And the more that we activate this, The more that we train our brain to be in this wanting mode, The more that it seeps into every part of our lives. Where we're always thinking that my happiness is just in the next moment, It's in the next bit of praise, It's in the next bit of recognition, It's in the next promotion, It's in the next comfortable experience, It's in the next holiday, It's in the next party, It's in the next event. It's never now. It's always in the future. Because this is what we've been training our brains for. Because the way we do anything is the way we do everything. And so, So much of our lives, We are activating this wanting system, Whether it's even just lightly being activated, But constantly being activated. And then we're constantly looking outwards. Oh, I want that, I want that, I want that. And we think it's legitimate, But so much of the time, We're just being compelled. We're just being pulled forward. We've been programmed to think that our happiness is out there, And we keep following it, We keep doing it, Chasing this elusive happiness, And always ending up disappointed. Because it never lasts. It never lasts. The moment, The happiness, I would say really the happiness from getting what we want, Is that the chasing of the happiness went away for a moment. The object itself might be kind of fun, There might be a little novelty with it. But it's that chasing mind, We got there, It falls away for a few moments. But it starts right back up again, Because this is what we have been activating, Wanting, Not satisfaction. This is not bringing us a sense of ease, It's not bringing us a sense of belonging, Of comfort. It's bringing us everything that we don't want. It creates, It is the, The wanting mind creates this feeling of lack inside of us. There's this, There's this, All of a sudden, Everything can be fine, And then this wanting mind just, Because we've been doing it so much, Oh, I want that now, I want that. And we're thinking about, Yeah, I would feel so much better if I had that. And so we create this sense of lack inside of us. It's like we create this hole inside of us. And then the mind promises us, But when you get it, That sense of lack will be finally fulfilled, That hole will finally be filled up. But it never delivers. We just keep wanting, We just keep wanting, We just keep wanting. This is not happiness. This is not peace. And so we can see how this is a bit problematic for us in a world where we have so much abundance, So many choices, So many options, So many experiences to have. And it doesn't mean that we want to throw away all of the good conditions in our world, Like, Hey, These are all good things. For many of us, We have survived, These are all good things. We should be able to enjoy the good conditions. And so we do that by bringing in mindfulness into our experience, So that we're starting to see what's happening in our experience. Instead of being lost in all the wanting and the chasing, We pull back and we see like, Oh, There's the chip. I'm 10 chips in. I haven't tasted really one chip. I haven't been present with one chip. I'm just shoveling them in. And we notice and we go, Oh, Yeah, Let me taste the chip before I'm reaching for the next one. Let me swallow the chip before I'm reaching for the next one so that we can enjoy the chip or enjoy the moment of connection with someone or just whatever fun moment it is that we're having, That we should be able to enjoy these things. But to understand their limitations, They can bring us a fleeting amount of happiness. Yeah, And there's nothing wrong with enjoying the nice latte, The chocolate cake, The praise, The recognition, Nothing wrong with any of those things. As long as we understand they come and go. They come and go. They're impermanent. They cannot bring us the lasting happiness that we're seeking. Even when we seek to think, But no, If I just always had it, Whatever is pleasurable will always turn to pain. Eventually, The best chocolate cake in the world. The first piece, Delicious. Second piece, Starting to get a little full. The third, The fourth, The fifth piece, We don't want to see another piece of chocolate cake for a month. Whatever is pleasurable will turn to pain. The first hour on the massage table, Amazing. The second hour, It's still pretty good. The third hour, The fourth hour, The fifth hour, We cannot wait to get off of the table. Whatever is pleasurable will eventually turn to pain. And it is totally fine for us to enjoy the pleasurable conditions when they arise. They come and they go. They are fleeting. They have their place. We should enjoy them. We should appreciate them. We should savor them, But not chase them. Because chasing these things, Chasing that which is impermanent and cannot give us lasting happiness is giving us a lot of frustration and disappointment and irritation and stress and anxiety. It is not bringing us what we want. So our mantras, As we bring in our mantras, And this week's mantra is peace is not chasing. This is the mantra that we're going to be using in our meditation. Peace is not chasing. Now, All of the mantras we are using in the form of negation. Negation is not negative. It is negation. In the absence of chasing, There is peace. In the absence of chasing, Peace is here. And so we put these all in the negation because what we want to see is why do we keep leaving the peace that is always here? Peace is here in the present moment, Here and now. It's always here. It's our attention that leaves the peace that goes into the chasing or the resisting and all the other ways that we're going to talk about in the next few classes in this series. So what I want to do by using the mantras in this way is to help leave an imprint in your mind of one of the most habitual ways in which you keep leaving the present moment. So that when we say the mantra, And we'll say it several times in our meditation, And we're going to count the mantra on our fingers, And I'll explain that in a moment how we're going to do that. Because by counting on our fingers, The mantras as well, We bring in a tactile sensation. And so we're starting to recruit other parts of the motor cortex in our brain. So now we're bringing on other systems that are really helping leave an imprint on our mind that peace is not chasing. We're not saying that chasing is negative. We're not judging ourselves for chasing. We're simply saying, Wow, Peace, What we say we want more than anything in the world, Right, With some variation of this word, Is the absence of chasing. So by saying it in our meditation, It really leaves an imprint. And so much of mindfulness is remembering, In fact, The word sati, S-A-T-I, The Pali word for the word mindfulness is often translated as remember. That's one of the translations for it. And this is one of the things we just, We forget, We just forget. And so we know peace is here and now, Right? We know that, But we can't force ourselves into the present moment. We can't, We don't want to be grasping at presence. You can't grasp at presence. You can't hold on to presence, But you can see how your attention keeps leaving the present moment. And in seeing that, The moment that we notice it, And because we've said the mantra, Because we were counting it on our fingers and really leaving that imprint, We're more likely to catch it as we're going about our day when we're all of a sudden, Just that momentum, Because this has been the momentum for quite a while, That momentum where we're rushing out the door, Even though there's no hurry, But we're just in that kind of, Oh, I got to get over there, Right? And you said the mantra in your morning meditation, Then all of a sudden the words go, Peace is not chasing. And now you're no longer lost in the chasing. There's that awareness of your experience, Like this is it, This is it. It might be just taking that mindful breath. Oh, Just getting a little pulled away there. Wow. And you notice in that moment, You're like, Man, This does not feel good. We're so lost in the story of what we think we're going to get on the other side of this moment. Again, And it's just to get to the card, To get to the next thing, To get your mind always 10 steps ahead of our body. We're always trying to play catch up and convince ourselves that no, Once I get there, I'll feel okay. Once I get there, I'll be happy. And we don't even notice how unpleasant it feels. The contraction, The tension, The anxiety, The stress that we are creating simply by setting up our happiness over there and activating this wanting system again and again and again. And so we notice it. And sometimes it's just a mindful breath, Like we talked about last week when we were talking about mindfulness and mind wandering. We just, Oh, I was just racing through the dishes. I was brushing my teeth, Racing to get done. We have this habit of racing through everything as though we're going to get to the next thing, Chasing this elusive happiness that's always out there in the carrot in the future, But we never get it. Or if we do, It's only for a few moments, And then we're back to chasing again. So we're starting to have more awareness of our experience and really seeing, Wow, Wow, That is quite the contraction. That is quite the tension, Quite the unpleasant feeling. And in the mindful breathing, The releasing of it, And it's like, Ah, Yeah, Yeah, This is peace. The absence of chasing. Peace is the absence of chasing, The absence of resisting, Which we're going to talk about next week. It is the absence of these mind movements. Peace isn't somewhere to get to. It's not something we can get a hold of. It is always here. Our attention is what leaves the peace. That's why we're pointing our attention, Bringing pointers like the mantras to help point our attention more clearly to the ways in which we keep taking ourselves out of the present moment. So we use our mindful breath. We use the RAIN acronym that we talked about last week. It's very popular. You would be all over Insight Timer. You would hear lots of people using this. We recognize sometimes when the chasing is a little more intense, It's, You know, We're chasing the promotion, We're chasing the partner. Oh, If I could just find my soulmate, If I could just find my dream person, Then I'd finally be complete. And then we realize like, I can breathe mindfully, But I'm really believing, I really still believe that if I were to find my dream partner, My soulmate, Then I would be complete. And so it's hard to pull our attention out of that, Hard to bring our attention back. And so in that, In recognizing, Oh, Here's the chasing for the person that's going to complete me. And then we come in and we feel it, Right? Allow, Accept the A part of RAIN. Wow, Let me feel this because it doesn't feel good. Nothing wrong with wanting a partner, Chasing a partner, Thinking that they're going to complete you does not make you feel good. That is what's making you feel incomplete right now. That's what's giving you that sense of lack, The setup, The belief that if I were to find the new partner, Then somehow I would feel complete. But look at what it's doing to you right now. Or if it's the job or the new car or the new house, Right? Look at what this is doing to us right now. The only place we can know peace and happiness in the present moment, Look at what this is doing to us right now. And so we breathe and we feel what's here, Not to push it away, But to open to it and to be aware like, Wow, This is what it's doing. This is what it's doing. Yes, Ginger, I would say Jerry Maguire was very wrong. That phrase, You complete me, Is the setup for so many disastrous relationships. No one should complete you. They can compliment you, But they should not complete you. That's a lot of pressure to put on someone, A lot of pressure. And so we're going through and we're seeing, Okay, Accepting, We're allowing the feelings to be here, Right? Ooh, Wow, Wow, A lot of tension. Yeah, It's okay. Let's be with it. And then we get to the inquiry part. And like we talked about last week when we said you're never upset for the reason you think, Right? We're usually not chasing, Whatever it is that we're chasing is not for the reason that we think. Like we think, They're going to complete me. I need to be completed. This person's going to do it for me. And so when we ask ourselves, What's really behind this sense of someone else needing to complete me? What else is really here? And what we might find is, Yeah, There's a fear of being alone. There's a sadness of a past breakup. And I still haven't dealt with that. I was looking for someone else to complete me, To kind of take all that away, Right? There's some disappointment about that past relationship or some disappointment that I haven't found the right person. And now we're getting to what's really driving all of this, The chasing in the first place. Oh, Okay, There's something here. Okay. That sense of maybe not being enough, Of not being worthy on our own. And so then the end part of RAIN, The nurture, Right? We really come in and we go, Oh, Sweetheart. Sweetheart, It's okay. You're enough, Right? We pet ourselves. It's okay. You're enough. And we'd be with it, Not in a way to say, You're enough, Get rid of that feeling. But it's like, Yeah, We can be with this feeling. Let's feel this. Let's embrace it. Let's open to it. Right? So now we're bringing compassion. Maybe it's the fear and going, Oh, Sweetheart. Yeah, Let's stay with that fear right now, That fear of being alone, Right? Especially as we're getting older, A lot of us, It's like, Oh my gosh, I'm getting older. Now I'm on my own. Let's stay with the fear. Let's stay with what's here in this moment. But when we inquire in this way, Not just assuming the surface thing, It wasn't just the chasing of the new partner. You know, Deep down, There were some fears, There was some sadness, There was some regret. And we rarely get to those things, Right? We just kind of go over the surface of it, Because we don't want to feel our feelings. We don't want to admit what's really there. But if we don't admit what's there, Then we can't bring our attention to it. We can't nurture it. And these things will continue to drive the chasing behavior. So there's something outside of me that I'm going to, That's going to complete me. No one can complete you. And thank goodness, Thank goodness no one can complete you. What we're trying to do is see how we set up this incompleteness in the first place, Through the wanting. In the I want something, I need something outside of me to be happy. That's what creates the sense of lack. That's what creates the hole inside of us. Right? And of course, It's feeding off of and triggering off of a lot of these unmet needs that we have, Because we're not very in touch with our feelings, We don't come in and feel very often, We don't want to admit to ourselves. Yeah, There's some insecurity there, There's some sadness there, There's some disappointment there. And when we're willing to be with what's here and acknowledge what's here and do it in a very skillful and kind and compassionate and wise way, We're really helping to break this cycle, To break this pattern. Because it's not a healthy pattern. It's not bringing us closer to peace, It is taking us further away. And it's all the ways in which we're doing it, Whether it's technology, Whether it's chasing in spirituality, Whether it's just chasing some attention, Chasing some praise, Chasing some recognition, Chasing a promotion, Tracing, You know, A bonus. And again, Not that there's anything wrong with thinking like, I'd like to have a bonus, You'd like to have a promotion would be nice. But if it's that you think that these things are going to fundamentally transform who you are, Then you're just continuously chasing, You're just always chasing. And we're chasing through our whole lives, Running so fast, We're missing all of the good conditions that we have. Sometimes we have pleasant moments, Sometimes we have unpleasant moments, Right? We all experience the ups and downs of life. This is everyone's experience. When we're experiencing the pleasurable conditions, Enjoy them, Savor them, Be present, Don't grasp at them, Don't try and make them stay. They can't stay, They're fleeting, But enjoy them when they're here. And when the unpleasant conditions are here, And we're going to talk more about that next week, With the resisting mind, Peace is not resisting, Right? Learning how to be more with those who have greater equanimity in those moments, So that we don't make a difficult situation worse. Because we get it all, We get it all. But chasing is a big one for us. It's a big one in our culture. We associate success and happiness and worthiness with money and fame and attractiveness and just getting more and more and more. And it's just not the way it is. Doesn't matter. I mean, The wealthiest person in the world, And I remember there was a quote from Rockefeller, So this would have been over 100 years ago, At that time, The wealthiest person in the world. And he was asked, There was an interview in a newspaper publication, He was asked, Well, You know, How much more? How much more do you want? You're the wealthiest person in the world. He's like, Just a little bit more, Just a little bit more. It's never enough. It's never enough. And it does not bring us satisfaction. It does not bring us peace. If you have nothing, Yes, A certain amount of money can absolutely change your life if you have nothing. If you have enough, If you have food in the fridge, You have a little bit of money in the bank, If you have a closet with enough clothing to last for the next week, A warm bed, A house that you can, You know, Whether you're renting, But a roof over your head, Right, You've survived. Everything above that, It's the amount of money, The amount of experiences really doesn't play that big of a factor on our lives any longer. But the wanting for all of it does has a huge impact, A huge negative impact on our lives. And so this is what we're looking for. This is what we're doing this week in our meditation. We're going to be doing the mantra. So for our meditation, Which we're going to do in a couple of minutes, We're now increasing this week to 10 minutes. So we were at seven minutes last week. We started at five minutes, Then seven minutes, And now 10 minutes. One minute is still our minimum. We're more interested in consistency than anything else. But 10 minutes is our maximum. Unguided, Unguided. So we use our insight timer bell. You set the interval bell for one minute, And you seriously, You can get up after one minute if you want to. The hardest part of meditating is getting ourselves to the cushion. If we tell ourselves it's just one minute, It's much easier for us to get there. And once that first bell goes off, You are more likely to sit for either the entire 10 minutes, Or at least maybe you get to five minutes, At least maybe you get to six minutes, Right? Fantastic. So 10 minutes is our maximum, No more than that. And then, So we're going to start our meditation as we've been starting with a couple of deep breaths, Right? Some belly breaths just to really get a full breath in, To relax the body, Right? Relax the mind and turn, Just a little bit of ease coming in. And then we'll bring our attention to the breath at the tip of our nostrils. And we'll just feel the breath there for about 30 seconds or so. And then we're going to ask the first question that we introduced last week. What is it that you want more than anything else in the world for yourself? And remember, And immediately I point you, What is it that you would most intrinsically want to feel, To know? Anything that you are telling me that you want on the outside world, In the external world, The promotion, The partner, The respect, The acknowledgement, The praise, The money, Anything that you can tell me you want on the external world, It is because you think it's going to give you a feeling. What is that feeling that we really want? And as I pointed you last week, Most commonly that answer is peace, Or some variation of that word. And that's why all of the mantras, When I came up with the mantras, I started them with peace is not chasing. Remember, It's not negative. We're not beating ourselves up for chasing. We're not judging ourselves for chasing. But peace is the absence of chasing. It's the negation. So we're saying what it is that we most want. And then we're saying, What is it that's taking us away? So that's why we're asking the question in our meditation. And I've been asking this, And those of you, Sandy and Michelle and Alice, Who've been with me for a few years here, We ask this question a lot in our meditation. We so easily get distracted chasing things outside of us. And we want to be really clear, What is it that we most want? So it might be peace, You might say satisfaction, It might be a sense of belonging, It might be a sense of connection, It might be freedom, It might be awakening, Right? Whatever word most helps point you here and now, Right? To really that sense of openness and spaciousness. And the word will change from week to week, From day to day, It will change. So when I ask the question, Let it sit in the silence for a moment and then see what arises, Right? And now we're going to introduce the second question. And the second question is, What could you do more of, Or less of, That could move you closer to what it is you most want? And so when we ask this question, Do not think about whether you want to do more of something or whether you're ready to do less of something. We are not concerned about actually doing it at this point. All I want you to do is be honest with yourself. And now that we've like brought in this class, You can be thinking and just being honest with yourself. You don't have to announce it to everyone, But you can think to yourself like, Maybe I could turn the notifications off on my phone. Maybe I could spend a little less time on social media or a little less time checking the news or a little less time on YouTube. Maybe I could go for a walk without listening to a podcast, Or I could read a book instead of watching a podcast. You know, Maybe I could spend a little bit more time meditating, You know, On a little bit less time, You know, On the phone or on our computers, Ways that we really do just kind of, You know, Get our attention and we can just spend hours lost there. So when you're answering this question, Don't worry about it. You can keep doing it for months and you will keep doing it. We're not trying to make changes using willpower. Most people's willpower is just not that strong to be able to make change. We're making change through wisdom. So by answering the question, What you most want, Peace, And then identifying the things, Just being honest with yourself, Things that you could be doing. I could go to bed earlier. I could read in bed instead of watching TV. Like just kind of, Yep, These would be things that would move me closer to what it is I most want. And then you're just planting that seed. And what you will find is that there will be a day when you reach for your phone and you've said the mantra so many times, Your meditation practice is pretty solid and you're being more mindful. And all of a sudden, All of a sudden, You go, You know what? I don't think I'm going to reach for that. I think I'm going to set it down and just sit here and listen to the birds and listen to the, You know, Look at the birds, Look at the clouds, Look at the sky. Maybe I'll just spend a few minutes doing this because that feels more peaceful. And so Aviva, Goals are okay in our lives. This, I would say, And again, Take everything that I say here, See what works for you, Throw out what doesn't work for you. But the way that I live my life and the way that I teach, Our most important thing is really a sense of peace of mind. Because in that peace of mind, We feel whole, We feel that sense of belonging, We feel okay. And so to me, That is the most important thing, The most important thing. And everything else is secondary. When you focus on what's most important, Your peace of mind, Or again, Any kind of variation of that word, Anything else you're doing, Like do it for the fun of it, For the experience of it, But not because you think it's going to give you something, Because it can only give you something temporary. So, You know, Health, Eat healthy, Exercise, Yeah, Do these things. I wouldn't put health as something here because we're not always healthy. We're not always healthy. I mean, We get sick. I was sick the other week. I'm still even feeling a little bit of a drag on it, Like it's kind of just a few hours each day, Just not feeling great. And so, You know, Because peace, Inner peace is what's most important, Right? It's not a problem. You know, I don't feel that great. Okay, I'll teach my classes, And then I'll take a little nap. You know, I'll take a little rest. Okay, No problem. Just don't feel my best. Be a little bit easy with myself. Be a little gentle, Right? And I find that the clarity comes from the peace, The absence of the chasing and the resisting. Again, We want to, It's okay to explore the world and, You know, You want to do something, You want to go on a holiday, Or you want a promotion at work, And you want to learn something, Like, Yeah, These are all good things, No problem with it. But they cannot fundamentally transform who you are. And that's the way we approach most of these things, Is that they're going to change me. You know, And of course, Maybe you'll learn a little bit more. But what I'm talking about is that sense of being okay inside, Which is what I think most of us want. Thank you for bringing that up, Aviva. That was a great point there. So we'll ask the two questions. Then we'll let the, Just we're planting the seeds. We're just planting the seeds now, Right? Just letting them, Letting them do their thing, Right? All the meditation, All the mindfulness moments, They're all nurturing these seeds inside, And they will sprout at the right moment for you, When it won't be a struggle. When all of a sudden you're presented, You're kind of going down that habitual path, And all of a sudden, You kind of see what's happening, The other path appears, And you just effortlessly, Yeah, Effortlessly, I'll just go down there, Go down this other path of peace of being here. So we'll ask the questions, And then we're going to start counting the mantras on our hand. So we're going to do one full inhale and exhale for each mantra for each count. And so first, You're going to bring your, So each finger, So we're going to use our thumb as the counter. And some of you may just be listening to this. So the thumb is going to go to the top of our pinky, Right? That's going to be the first count. And then we go to the middle of the pinky, And then the crease. And then we just start at the top of the ring finger, The middle, The crease, Middle finger, The top, The middle, The crease, Index finger, The top, The middle, The crease. So each finger just has three points, The top, The middle, The bottom. And then we start again at the pinky, Right? So it's 12 counts. So again, One full inhale and exhale for each mantra for each count. And you will notice even as you're saying the mantras, There will be this little moment where you're kind of, Peace is not chasing, Peace is not chasing, Peace is not chasing. We start racing a little bit just because that's kind of the momentum of our mind. And then you go, Oh, I'm doing it right now. Oh my God, Here it is. And you slow down a little bit, And you go, Oh yeah, Peace is not chasing. Peace is not chasing. Peace is not chasing. Yeah, Okay. Yeah, This feels much nicer. So you're really getting this direct evidence for yourself, Which is what we need, Direct evidence for ourselves to see, Is peace the absence of chasing? I've said to you guys many times, The peace is here. The peace never leaves. Our attention leaves the peace. And we don't, So our job, Our task in meditation and mindfulness with the wisdom teachings is not to try and get our attention to stay in the present moment, Because that's just more grasping, More clinging. It's simply to see where our attention keeps wandering off and having enough direct evidence to go, Wow, That does not feel good. We see it, We're released, We're here. We're here. We're using our senses, We're looking around, We're hearing, We're tasting, If we're eating something, Right? We're feeling, We're smelling, We're breathing mindfully, We're here. And we're like, Huh, Man, I really thought my peace was in the next moment, But in fact, It was right here. It was always right here. Yeah. And just harmony to your saying, Like time by yourself, Like there's a lot of peace, Not strange at all, Not strange at all. There's a lot of peace, Just being on our own, Quiet. Solitude, But being able to balance that out with connection as well. Like when we feel we're ready to go and engage in the world as well, But I find we can spend, We don't want to go to an extreme. We don't want to feel like we're having to hide from the world because that's not what our practice is for as well. Do what you need to do, Of course, To find the peace. But this is prepping, This is helping us so that when we're, I mean, Even just we're out and we're having a conversation with someone and there's just that little chasing mind or even wanting mind there of wanting to, Oh, I want to tell them about my experience. I want to tell them how much I know, Right? Someone will say, I always think it's funny when someone will be talking about, They're going to talk about their trip to Hawaii and someone jumps, Oh, I've been to Hawaii. And then they just take over the whole conversation. It's like, Let the person talk about going to Hawaii. And again, No judgment, Because we might have this, Oh, I want to tell them I went to Hawaii too. Like no judgment, Right? That's just kind of the momentum. And we, Oh, There it is, There's chasing. There was something I was wanting out of that, Like some kind of recognition. Actually, No, No, I can just be here. I can let them talk. And then when it's my time, Then I can tell them, Yeah, Me too, I was there too. Yeah, It's in a great place, Right? So even just in those, There's very subtle ways in which we're desiring, Wanting to be seen in a certain way, Wanting to be seen as smart or well-traveled or, Oh, I've got to tell someone. There's the big joke that, How do you know if someone went to Harvard? They'll tell you, Right? They'll always let you know, Right? And of course, There's that kind of chasing of wanting the recognition, Oh, How can I weave this in? I didn't go to Harvard, But how could I weave this into a conversation, Right? So it's these little things like we're chasing recognition, We're chasing wanting to be seen, Chasing that kind of elusive feeling. It will be a moment of, Oh, They saw me as someone. They saw me as someone. And then it fades. This isn't filling us in the way that we think. It just comes and it goes. And again, Nothing wrong, Then it comes up. Someone says, Hey, Did you go to Harvard? I heard you went to Harvard. And if you did, If you didn't, You say, Yeah, I did. Yeah. Oh, Wow. Cool. Right. And it's like, Okay, To feel that for a moment, Like, Yeah, It's okay to feel that for a moment. That was nice. But not to feel this sense of, Oh my God, Look at me now. Oh my God, They saw me. They saw me because it's this fleeting high. And then it goes. And then we're back to, Oh, I don't feel whole again. Who else can I tell? Who else can I get to convince me that I'm worthy? We don't need to convince anyone or we don't need to find someone to convince us that we're worthy. We are worthy. Each of us belongs. We're all a part of this. It's the wanting mind that sets up the sense of lack and this belief that we're going to get it out there. What someone says to me, The recognition or the inclusion or just something, The approval, Right? And we set this up as though once I get that, Then I'll finally feel whole. But it is so fleeting. It is so fleeting. Enjoy it when the praise or the, You know, Enjoy it when it comes. Let it move through you. Let it move through you. Right? Because of course, If we're also chasing the validation and the praise and the acknowledgement, What happens when we get the blame and the criticism and the exclusion, Right? Then we're devastated. We're devastated. So, You know, There's two sides to this coin, And we'll talk about that as well next week. So thank you, Lori. Thank you for the donation. Thank you. And I'm going to come back to some of these other comments and questions after we do our 10-minute meditation. So we can do our 10-minute meditation, And then I'll go through all the questions and comments and address anything else that you guys have. And then, Of course, Any questions regarding the meditation itself. So we'll do a little deep breathing. We'll let our attention rest on the breath. I'll ask you the questions, The two questions. And then we're going to do the counting of the mantras on our hands. And as we're counting, I'll put my hand up here. So if anyone needs to open their eye and take a little peek to see the counting again. Just remembering, You start with the thumb, Top of the thumb, Top of the pinky. And it's always three points on each finger. And then we just start again. And we'll do about three rounds, Three rounds of 12 counts of saying peace is not chasing, One full inhale and exhale for each mantra for each count. And then we'll let the mantra go, And we'll just rest our attention on the breath. And I think you will find, Because so much of the thoughts in our meditation are chasing, The other half would be resisting, That it also helps to settle the mind that once we let the mantra go, It's just, And the counting will go at that point. So you just relax your hands. And then you will most likely find that the mind settles a little bit easier as well. Okay. So let's just do a 10 minute meditation. So let's close our eyes. And take three deep breaths on your own, Breathing in and out through your nose, Breathing deeply on each inhale, Exhaling slowly. And at the end of your third exhale, Let your breath be natural. And just feel the breath as it enters and exits through your nose. And ask yourself, What is it that you want more than anything else in the world for yourself? What is it that you most intrinsically want to feel, To know? And now ask yourself, What could you do more of or less of that would move you closer to what it is you most want, Without any concern for whether you want to do it or whether you're ready to stop doing something, Just identifying what you could do. And now let that fade away. And we'll bring in the mantras. So bringing the top of your thumb and the top of your pinky together for the first count. Peace is not chasing. One full inhale and exhale for each mantra, For each count. Peace is not chasing. Peace is not chasing. And now let the mantra go. Let the counting go. And just keep your attention on the breath as it enters and exits through your nose. Any time you notice your attention wandering, And then noticing that you've wandered, Feel that gentle release back to the breath, That effortless release back to the breath. And as we begin to come out of the meditation, With a big inhale, Take your arms up over your head, The big stretch at the top. And as you exhale, Gently lower your arms and slowly open your eyes. Okay. So this is going to be our mantra for the week. Peace is not chasing. 10-minute meditation. Ask the two questions. And I'll put the two questions in our group page. In fact, I'll even just put the flow of the meditation in our group page on my teacher's page on Insight Timer. And when you're saying the words, Peace is not chasing, Some thoughts or images might be coming about times that you were chasing things in the past and you realize like, Wow, That didn't bring me what I wanted, What I thought. It was something good that came of it, But it didn't bring me that lasting peace and happiness, That lasting, Like I feel okay about myself, Feeling complete. And that's good evidence as well. But then just back to the mantra. And if, Of course, Our attention wanders to anything outside the mantra, We're just noticing and having our attention fall back into the mantra. And just to also, I just want to say this one more time. It's not that wanting something is bad, Right? Wanting to have a nice cup of coffee or wanting to be promoted at work or you want a new car, You want a partner. None of these things are problems. It's that if we think this is where your ultimate happiness is going to come from, Then you're setting up the wanting mind. And the wanting mind is never ending and doesn't bring us happiness. It brings us a lot of dissatisfaction, A lot of restlessness, A lot of agitation, A lot of stress, A lot of anxiety. It is not bringing us what we think. And also just to say, It's okay to say, Like, Hey, Looking forward to seeing you later today or I'm looking forward to some event. Like, We don't want to get so literal about this. Like, There's a nice intention in saying someone like, Hey, I can't wait to see you, Right? Because there's a nice intention behind it. So just using wisdom here, Using wisdom, Because there's always a little bit of nuance, Right? What it is is the contraction. The contraction is telling us we're going too far, Right? Like, Yeah, There might be an event later today or you're going to go get a massage later. Yeah, That's going to be very pleasant, Right? But the peace that you're seeking is here and now. And if you can't enjoy the peace now, You're thinking about the massage. When you get on the massage table, All you're going to be thinking about is, How can I extend the massage? How much longer can the massage be? How can I do this every week? You're going to be grasping at it. You're not going to even be present for it. If we cannot be present now, Then whatever future event, Whenever it arrives, And it will arrive in the present moment, Then we're not present. Because we're always used to believing it's something in front of us. So we're not judging ourselves for the chasing mind. We're not trying to berate ourselves, To beat ourselves up about it. It's happening. It's happening. And it's part of our conditioning. It's part of the conditioning of the world that we've been brought up in. This has been happening for thousands of years. It's been amplified by technology and just the sheer abundance of the things that we have today. And we don't want to throw all that stuff out. We're not going to put the genie back in the bottle. And nor should we want to. But we want to find this balance, To enjoy the world that we're living in, To enjoy the good conditions. My gosh, We should enjoy these things. But we shouldn't be ruled by them. Because that's a very different experience. That is not a pleasant experience at all. And so this is for each of you to see this for yourself. It is not enough for me to say it. It is not enough for me to say it. It is for you to see this in your own experience. And if it helps, Great. Fantastic. So this week, Just remembering that peace is not chasing. This is our mantra. Using it in our meditation. And I will later today, I'll go on the group page, On the Sangha group page, On my Insight Timers page. And I'll just kind of put out the three deep breaths, 30 seconds or so on the nose. I'll put both questions. And then the peace is not chasing. And maybe I'll even just write out again, Kind of how to do the counting. If you have mala beads and you want to use mala beads, That's fine too. It's just about getting that tactile sensation in. So again, We're starting to recruit other parts of the brain to really leave this imprint of reminding us that peace is not chasing. This isn't negative. We're not beating ourselves up about it. It's a negation. Negation is saying, Look, The absence of this is peace. This is how we keep taking ourselves out of the present moment. This is one of the ways that we keep taking ourselves out of the present moment. And so noticing that mind movement, Using your mindfulness practice when you're going about your day, And here it is, There's the chasing. See for yourself if this is true or not. See for yourself. This is the only way it works is if you see for yourself. Okay. So thank you all so, So much. Thank you everyone for the donations. I so appreciate them all. Thank you. And we will see you all next Sunday. So we will do the next mantra next Sunday. Okay. So thank you guys.