Lesson 1
What Is Emotional Addiction?
Welcome to Day 1! Today we are focused on understanding emotional addiction, how it forms and the ways it can play out in our lives.
What is emotional addiction?
Emotional addiction is often formed at an early age and developed by emotional experiences to the world, and often resonate with lower feeling states such as pain, fear or insecurities instead of productive or healthy feelings. While these emotions are not positively self-serving, we become attached to them as coping mechanisms that bypass logic or reason and then we become dependent on them as part of our worldview. It’s important to note that while various emotions can ultimately become addictive, this course is focused on recovering from difficult emotional patterns that keep us from coping in healthy ways. This course is not focused on other types of addictions such as love addiction or sexual addiction, but the addiction to feeling states that we use that can create personal self-sabotage or low feelings of worth.
This 10-minute practice will help you connect to the patterns that are lingering in your life. Take your time with this, and perhaps even sit in silence or meditation before starting. Sometimes there’s not an obvious or immediate link to past emotions, and other times it is clear in our day-to-day relationships and behaviors. Be gentle with yourself and provide the space necessary to recall. Authenticity is highly encouraged, remember this is a safe place for you.
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Lesson 2
Releasing Emotional Addiction
Welcome back! Today is day 2 of the course. Yesterday’s assignment may have been challenging, but I hope it was also rewarding. You should be proud of your willingness to show up and do the work.
Today we are talking about the first steps to release addiction to emotion. Remember, this process typically doesn’t happen all at once, or overnight. Let’s stay the course and let our minds, bodies, and emotional centers begin to rewire and attune to new possibilities.
The more we practice making space to experience both the acceptance of our attachments to past experiences the more we can begin releasing the addiction and mindfully raise our awareness to manage emotions in a healthier way. This may only be possible for a few moments to start, and that is the perfect way to begin.
In the coming days we’ll be going deeper into the healing process. For today, let’s practice holding space for what has been our reality as well as the possibility of feeling something new in this moment.
Homework: This 5-10 minute meditation is to help you begin holding space for two different sensations within your body and mind. Please read the text and then move into the quiet practice of reflection.
Close your eyes and take 2-3 deep, long and slow breaths. Bring your focus to your body, in particular to how you are feeling in this moment. Check in to see if your adult conscious self is present. This is the part of you who wants to make change and has become aware of addictive beliefs or behaviors to your lower feeling state. Feel into this part and validate your presence.
Next, allow yourself to become aware of the emotions or beliefs that are attached to feelings that may feel lower, heavier, or unpleasant but are familiar.
Once you have awareness of both your adult conscious self and the repetitive negative feelings you’ve identified, allow yourself to simply breathe and be present in the moment. You may recognize the vacillating thoughts or feelings going through your body or mind. That is normal, just stay present to both.
Can you sit with the parts of you that are attached to the negative feelings that want to hold you captive while also allowing your self to feel good in this moment? What does a good feeling mean to you?
We are only seeking awareness and practicing holding space at this time. You are not trying to fix or change anything. As you make space and practice recognizing the different parts of you, you’ll begin to alert your mind and body that a different sensation is possible. If you can bring more of your heart to this moment, even better. Offer yourself compassion, gratitude, and the space to feel as much love as you can.
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Lesson 3
Raising Your Vibrations
Welcome to day three of the course! I know that the past couple of days has included some deeper emotional work, and every day we want to take a moment to acknowledge how brave and strong we are for wanting to free ourselves. Remember, we are not at fault for adopting these behaviors and addictions, but now that we are aware of how and why they developed, it is our responsibility to make the changes, and that takes a lot of courage and love. I’m really proud of you for that. I hope that as you are feeling more aware that you are also feeling encouraged that change and healing is actually possible!
Today we are going shift our focus on something a bit lighter - how to raise our vibrations to help support our overall sense of wellness. I hope you enjoy the process and have some fun with it!
The practice is to acknowledge the repetitive things we do and feelings we have that are attached to lower feelings, and recognize that in this moment we have a choice to feel something different. Then we act on those choices to support our overall wellness and thereby sending a strong message to our inner selves that we are WORTH the time and energy to make a new choice. When we do that, the most important parts of us feel validated and cared for.
Remember, this isn’t just a one-time event, or a once-a-day habit. Raising your vibrations is a practice that takes consistency in acknowledging how you feel in the moment, having compassion for that feeling, and making a conscious effort to support yourself with a new choice.
Below are some examples of what pulls us into lower and higher vibrational states. Take a moment to read through the list to identify what resonates with you on a regular basis.
Lower Vibration:
Chemically laden foods
Unhealthy relationships
Chronic negative mentality
Being judgmental of self or others
Blaming others
Exposure to electromagnetic frequency
Dishonesty
Self-criticism
Processed Foods
Resentment, jealousy, revenge, shame, guilt
Toxic Household cleaning products
Taking things that aren’t ours
Chemical drugs
Excessive natural intoxicants (wine, tobacco, caffeine)
Higher Vibration:
Connection to nature
Compassion
Sunlight
Laughter
Meditation and breath work
Giving back to others
Healthy natural foods, herbs, juices
Prayer
High-vibe music
Gratitude
Surrounding yourself with beauty
Connection to spirit
Self-love
Exercise
You might notice that just reading these lists can prompt feelings into lower or higher vibrations states. This is a great start! The homework assignment below will help you get even clearer on how to raise your vibration. Have fun with it and I’ll see you tomorrow!
Homework: Today we’re going to acknowledge our lower vibrational habits and then create ideas that are actionable to lead us to higher vibrational ways of living. Make this a practical and doable exercise, meaning, don’t list things that you think would be “better,” but ones that you feel you can actually incorporate into your life.
For my physical health, I recognize that I have a lower vibrational habit of:
(Note: Examples of this can be certain unhealthy foods, or eating late, not attending to bodily care, not exercising, etc.)
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Lesson 4
Re-Parenting The Parts That Hurt
Welcome back! I hope yesterday’s lesson and assignment brought more clarity and some moments of joy, or possibly a few “aha!” moments regarding vibrational frequencies. Today we are going to dive into the very important process of re-parenting the parts that hurt.
Re-parenting is about attending to the inner child, or younger self, that may need validation, encouragement, love, and attention. Otherwise, these hurt parts may be acting out, hiding, or calling the shots in your life now. Through the process of recovery, learning how to acknowledge the wounded inner self that is still afraid, alone, insecure and attached to the old story is vitally important. Then we can realize when our feelings may be attached to something beyond what is happening in this moment right now, and we can mitigate the cycle of sabotage and/or blame and conflict that is connected to memories.
Homework: This inner child practice will help you connect to the emotional parts of self that feel addicted and reactionary to certain emotions. Before you begin, become present as if you are in a meditative state. Take some deep breaths, relax your body, and allow your heart to open as much as possible. If you’d like, imagine that a young person is sitting next to you, sharing with you their feelings and experiences.
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Lesson 5
Self-Discipline As Self-Love
Welcome back! Can you believe it’s already day five and we are right in the middle of the beautiful healing process of recovery? I hope yesterday’s exercise in communicating with the younger self was meaningful to you. Learning to re-parent the parts of us that still hurt is a critical step toward our healing. You’re doing a great job!
Within the scope of re-parenting, we also need to learn how to apply healthy self-discipline in order to establish self-trust, boundaries, and raise self-confidence to add to the overall higher vibrations that will support the release of emotional addictions.
Homework: We’re going to establish a practice of self-healing by creating a morning routine, an evening routine, and achievable goals throughout the day to support discipline as self-love. This requires commitment, and again, to make sure our goals are achievable and doable every day!
Begin to craft a routine for first thing in the morning and right before bed. These routines can be anywhere from 10 minutes to 30 minutes (or longer if you have the time and commitment) and should focus on you. This isn’t the time to do the laundry or some other obligation. Make sure to share with your family or others that this time is just for you and to respect that space.
Examples may include meditation, hydrating with warm lemon water, prayer, journaling, yoga, breath work, a gentle walk, tai chi, reading sacred text, or listening to spiritual music. Be specific in the routine, with a time structure and amount of time devoted to each practice.
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Lesson 6
Joy as Your Innate Nature
Welcome to day 6! I hope you’re excited about the new morning and evening routines you are putting into place. It may take a few days to get into the flow, but commit to yourself and show up with the self-discipline and love that is in you. Soon you will see a great reward, both mentally and emotionally, in staying committed to the process.
Today we are moving into one of the most wonderful states of being, which is joy. It may have been awhile since you’ve been able to consistently feel joy, or perhaps you’re not sure you’ve had much of it beyond the superficial. Whether we feel a sense of joy or not, it truly is part of our innate nature. You are born with it, which means we don’t have to wait for it!
Today’s homework may be a bit challenging, because so many of us have become so identified with our past and/or difficult experiences. We become identified with the labels that have been put on us, or ashamed by our learned behaviors. Whenever we make statements about our learned behavior such as, “That’s just who I am,” we know we are in a defensive position. We are not the limitation of our anxieties and hurts. We are so much more, and I hope the exercises below remind you of that.
Homework: The first exercise is going to help us identify the learned behaviors that have served us as coping mechanisms. This would include listing the ways we’ve learned to respond to others who have hurt us, or to those we are afraid will hurt us. You may also note where you learned these behaviors, or from whom. Take a minute to reflect on the ways you generally react to potential threats, or what your knee-jerk reaction is when you feel triggered or quickly upset. Write down the earliest time you remember reacting this way, what it reminds you of (an experience that was hurtful), and, if you can, who you potentially learned this behavior from. Perhaps one of your parents screamed when enraged. Maybe they gave the silent treatment, overate, gossiped to the neighbors, kept themself small in some way. This is a time to honor why and how you’ve come to learn these coping mechanisms, and with awareness, we can provide compassion.
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Lesson 7
Sustaining The Frequency Of Freedom
We’re already on the last day of the course, and I’m so grateful that you are here. I hope you recognize the courage and self-love it takes to stay committed to growth, especially when it’s not always comfortable.
Yesterday’s homework may have brought up more sensitive memories for you, and if so please remind yourself that those parts of you attached to the difficult memories needs a lot of compassion and gentleness. I also hope that the exercise reminded you that there is, indeed, joy within, and what a gift it is to be able to access that state of our being.
Today we are putting another supportive tool into practice for you to call upon in your daily life, or whenever you are being challenged. The awareness of our joy and our higher self is helpful in order to discern the addictive qualities attached to pain vs. the conscious part of us that wants to heal. That voice of addiction is fear-based, not wanting us be free.
Homework: For our final homework assignment we are going to create a mantra that you can use in your day-to-day life, with the intention to remind you who you are and the connections to something beyond you. Use my suggestions or make your own, just make sure that the mantra is specific, supportive of your authentic desire for freedom, and honors the truth of how you feel in the current moment as well as your commitment to loving self-care. I am so very proud of you. You are well on your way to freeing the chains that have bound you for a long time. With awareness, desire, commitment to loving all parts of you, and employing non-judgmental discipline, you can live with an open heart and brave spirit to embrace the essence of your being: love.
I wish you peace and joy.
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