Sometimes I feel awfully alone.
I feel like I'm lacking the resources to make my life better.
I don't have the income I want and should have at this point.
I don't have love and connection.
All this hope and then disappointment and feelings of rejection and the decision that having hope is futile.
I feel like an alien on the wrong planet who doesn't belong here.
Life isn't going how I want it.
I don't like how I'm feeling.
I want to feel better.
But if things don't change,
I won't.
I can't fake a feeling of self-love,
Self-worth,
Or happiness because I just don't have it.
If I go out and am around people,
Maybe that'll change my vibe.
But I'm not feeling good about anything,
So I just stay stagnant in this pool of nothing.
I want a victory.
Why won't life give me just one?
And in a form of surrender,
I stop.
Still myself.
Sit cross-legged,
Close my eyes,
And go within for some guidance.
Everything gets still.
I accept all that is.
I accept even the way I'm feeling.
Even the boring same old room I'm in.
And I listen.
At first to the silence,
To the stillness,
To the cars passing,
The alarms going off,
The kids screaming down the street,
The thoughts trying to re-enter,
Saying,
This will never work.
I even let them come and go,
Without judgment.
And I listen.
At first to nothing at all.
And then a huge moment of clarity comes.
It speaks.
It says this through the silence.
There is no lack.
Lack is a lie.
Guess what?
You're not lacking love,
Wealth,
Abundance,
Etc.
It comes from you.
Like,
You are the fountain of it.
Revolutionary,
Eh?
So when a guy or girl who wasn't for you anyway,
But you held false hope that they were,
Walks away without a care,
Cuts you off,
Presses eject,
And you think,
What is unlovable about me that they cut me off?
What did I do?
What is not wantable about me?
You think that your source of love and happiness has been ripped away from you.
That is a lie.
Baby,
You are it.
You are the party.
You are the fountain of love and fanciful goodness that is to be wanted big time.
But that little lie that you ingested as a little human being back then who didn't know any better,
Believed that.
And with its beautiful,
Precious,
Little,
Magnificent self,
Started a search for faults and defects and assumed an identity,
I mean like an original self-image identity,
Of being an imperfect,
Not-good-enough,
Less-than-being,
Who doesn't get love,
Who doesn't get the good stuff because they are faulty.
It was the only way to explain it to your little,
Limited mind.
I mean,
It couldn't be the adults who had problems,
Issues,
And limitations,
Right?
Because they were gods to your little eyes.
So it had to be you.
So you go through life with this assumption,
This identity of being deficient and unlovable.
Then people and experiences show up to confirm that,
And the cycle continues.
But that's a lie.
Let's go back to who you really are,
The being that came into this world.
Who are you really?
What is the truth of you?
If there is no lack,
Then who am I and what do I have?
Close your eyes.
Be willing to throw away the appearance of all the lack of money and love that are simply beliefs going by your mind like sushi plates on a conveyor belt,
Simply suggesting to you to take or not take,
Consume it or leave it on the belt to go by.
Let all the thoughts of your lacking go,
If even for the right-now experience.
Let it go.
Imagine a beautiful blue line that starts from the top of your head like a laser beam shooting directly down through your spine to the bottom.
As if coming from the heavens and shooting in a straight line down your spine to the center of the earth.
You are held in place like God itself holding you in a seat belt of love.
Only this exists.
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
Love has got you in its embrace and it knows only the truth about you.
Ready for it?
In a second,
But not now,
I'm going to ask you to quickly open your eyes looking upward and then shut them.
But now they are closed.
You are grounded to the earth and the heavens simultaneously.
The fragrance of love like an exotic flower garden,
Roses and honeysuckle wrapping you in its embrace.
It loves to love you.
Ready?
Now quickly open your eyes upward and shut them again.
Relax.
And let yourself fall deeply into relaxation.
The quiet stillness of this heavenly place and fragrant wealth of love engulfing you.
And again,
Open your eyes upward and quickly and shut them.
Keep them closed.
Relax.
Relax.
Relax.
Into the peace of being.
Your gentle being.
There is no lack.
You are a fountain of unlimited love.
Abundant,
Overflowing love.
It comes from you.
It is you.
From this wealth,
You create.
You create things only you can create.
Only your voice can say.
You love in ways that only you can love.
If someone is not in agreement with this beautiful love you are offering,
Let them be.
Let them fall away on their path.
You are too busy enjoying experiencing this thrilling love emanating from you,
Like the most wondrous thing ever.
You can't stop marveling at this love coming from you,
Like otherworldly fireworks on the Fourth of July,
But better.
It feels so good.
It makes you want to write.
To sing.
To move.
And dance.
And create music.
Because it is overflowing and feels so good.
It makes you want to just be with it.
Sit still with it.
Because it's amazing.
This is coming from you.
This is who you are.
Who you really are.
It doesn't come from anyone else.
Or a paycheck.
Or your bank account or your ducks in a row.
It couldn't even if you wanted it to.
No amount of outer demonstration could even quantify this unrecognizably unlimited fountain of love and well-being coming from you.
It has nothing to do with anyone else.
With anyone else loving you or not.
With anyone else hiring you or not.
With the world recognizing you and your talents or not.
No one can touch,
Harm,
Or infringe upon your unlimited prosperous fountain of joyous love.
This is your wealth.
That's never been depleted.
Ever.
You are it,
Baby.
You are the party.
You are the place to be.
You are welcome here.
You belong here.
You have a place here.
You are so wanted.
By you.
Your self-love is so great.
Touching and inspiring hundreds of others without even realizing it.
All because you shine with how good you feel about yourself.
You shine just by letting it flow.
You deserve this.
It is yours.
It is who you are.
No one can take that away.
Don't believe the thoughts that try to.
They are lies.
And you're too busy enjoying this worthy,
Gorgeous,
Scrumptious self of yours anyway.
This is your truth to come back to again and again.
It is all okay.
You are okay.
You always were.
It's okay to be okay.
It's okay to be happy.
Even though there are quote-unquote problems or challenges to be dealt with out there.
It's okay to be so divinely thrilled by your own existence,
By the wealth that you are.
You are the one.
Take a breath.
And so it is.
And so it shall be.
I let it be.
Take comfort letting it be.
Gently open your eyes.
And just because your eyes are open doesn't mean this inner world doesn't exist.
This is your chance to go forward from this truth.
You are awesome.
Life is awesome.
