Hello and welcome to five minutes in nature with me Liz Scott walking on Dartmoor watching the sun rise.
It's just risen behind a bank of clouds and I can see now it's peaking its way out of the top of that bank of clouds as it makes its way into the sky and I've been walking in darkness through to dawn.
And now into daylight.
Beside me are beech trees and they are still clinging on to their leaves.
Some of them have fallen but they're still clinging on and the easterly wind on the back of my neck feels super cool on this fresh November day.
And today's reflection came about when I was practicing with a friend of mine.
She is a sound bath meditation practitioner and we're teaming up.
I'm going to be reading my book The Call of Ancient Lands.
Which is all about my journey,
My pilgrimage across England.
And we're collaborating.
So she's going to provide the sounds and I'm going to read.
The book and we're going to have this wonderful hour of sound and gongs and flutes and cymbals and also we're going to have me reading my book.
So we were practicing yesterday.
Very wise woman.
I got a lot of time for her.
And we were talking more generally about how sometimes we feel so intuitively in tuned to what's right and wrong.
And she came up with a phrase and I want to share it with you today.
Or two phrases in fact.
One is she said,
If it hasn't got flow,
Say no.
If it hasn't got flow,
Say no.
And we were talking about collaborations with different people or being invited to go and be on different courses and take part in different things.
And what she was referring to when she said,
If it hasn't got flow,
Say no,
Was that if you don't intuitively feel it,
Then It's a no.
You don't have to force yourself to do something if it doesn't feel right.
And it's a great reminder that we've all got this intuitive system,
I call it my inner compass,
That really helps me understand what is the right way to go in life and when to say yes and when to say no.
It's super helpful.
And the other thing she said,
Which I thought was really useful,
Is that she said,
And of course she said,
No is a full sentence.
No is a full sentence.
And again,
I love that.
Because I don't know about you,
But sometimes what happens is somebody asks me to do something and I feel within me,
I feel that it hasn't got flow,
So it's a no.
But rather than just say,
No,
Thank you,
That's not for me,
I come up with elaborate excuses.
Maybe it's,
Oh,
I'm very busy at the moment,
Or I haven't got time,
Or,
You know,
I'd love to go,
But.
.
.
And I come up with excuses and I say things that aren't entirely true.
In an effort to not hurt somebody's feelings.
But what I've realized over the years is that it's much cleaner and it doesn't hurt someone's feelings if from a place of love I just say,
No,
That's not right for me at the moment.
So there are two things there which I think would be helpful.
One is if it hasn't got flow,
Say no.
And no is a full sentence.
There is,
Of course,
Another thing that might pop up,
Which is this fear of missing out.
Have you heard of that?
Where if you say no to something that you don't really want to go to,
You're like,
But yeah,
But what might I miss out on?
And I guess the thing I would say about that is that there will inevitably be things that you say no to,
That maybe with hindsight you think,
Oh,
I wish I'd been there,
Or that sounded like it was a lot better fun than I thought it was going to be.
You know there will always be things like that in life where you say no,
Intuitively you say no and then you think maybe I should have gone and that's fine too.
I often look at it a little bit like when I do a little declutter in my house and there are many things I hang on to just in case.
And what I've realised is that.
.
.
I might hold on to a hundred things just in case,
And one day I need one of those things.
So there will always be a time when I might just think,
I wish I hadn't thrown that away.
But I know that it's more important to have a decluttered house than it is to hold onto things just in case.
And it's the same with saying no.
You say no,
It's a full sentence,
No thank you,
That's not for me,
And you don't need to over-explain.
So tell me your reflections on today.
If it hasn't got flow,
Say no.
No is a full sentence.
How does that resonate for you?
Let me know your reflections and of course don't forget to join me again tomorrow for another five minutes in nature.
