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COURSE

Self-Love For Perfectionists

With Laurasia Mattingly

If you’re a perfectionist this course is for you. As a recovering perfectionist, what I’ve learned is that we are so hard on ourselves. We have a story about the need to be “perfect.” In this course we will discover what our perfectionist story is, re-write that story, and learn to find the beauty in our very human imperfections. After this course, you will learrn to love yourself unconditionally, and learn to let go of the need to be “perfect” which ultimately holds us back from peace, ease, and unconditional love. Each day will include a lecture, journal prompts, and end with a meditation practice.

Discover what your perfectionist story is and re-write that story in order to learn to love yourself and your human imperfections unconditionally.

6 Days

2.1k students

4.5 stars

11 min / day

English

About this course

Inner Critic Reframing Practice

Acceptance Meditation

Affirmation Meditation

Meet your Teacher

Laurasia Mattingly

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Los Angeles, CA, USA

Laurasia Mattingly is a certified meditation and mindfulness (400hr) instructor, author and speaker. After experiencing debilitating anxiety as a teen and depression after the loss of her mother, she found mindfulness and meditation it helped her transform her life. Laurasia is the founder of her own virtual meditation platform The Sit Society. She shares her practice internationally on retreats, with companies and corporations like Nike, Soho House, Lululemon, and Moët and Chandon to name a few. She is the author of two meditation books and featured as a meditation expert in publications such as Good Housekeeping, Well + Good, The Today Show, Health Magazine, and Self Magazine.

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6 Days

2.1k students

4.5 stars

11 min / day

English

Lesson 1

Identifying Our “Perfectionist” Narrative

We all have a story about why we need to be “perfect.” For some of us, it may have been pressure from a family member, or perhaps it was a pressure we put on ourselves. In this session, we will identify what our story is, and how it's affected our lives, more specifically how it's taken awareness from our happiness and how this story has held us back. We will also try to become more aware of our tendencies. Once we become aware, we have the power to overcome our perfectionist tendencies. We will conclude with a meditation on loosening our grip around the need to be perfect.

Lesson 2

Meeting Our Story With Kindness & Rewriting Our Narrative

As we have discovered we all have a story as to why we have the need to be perfect. We will learn how meeting our story with kindness is the pathway to freedom. We will learn that our perfectionist stories, more often than not, were never our fault. Now that we’ve identified our perfectionist story and where it comes from, the next step is to infuse kindness (There is a mindfulness equation that says pain + resistance = suffering while pain + love = transformation). Now that we’ve met our stories with kindness, it’s time to let go of the perfectionist story that’s been holding you back. We will re-write our stories and realize that we have the power to see life and ourselves with a fresh perspective and new eyes if that's what we choose to do. We can be the way we are because of the past and have the power to change how we look at ourselves by being more compassionate and kind to ourselves in the present and future. Typically, our perfectionist tendencies stem from the mind's need to fixate on the negative. We can begin to re-write that story by focusing on the positive. We will discuss, journal, and finally end with a practice seeing our story with fresh eyes and re-writing it by noticing the positive.

Lesson 3

Accepting What It Is To Be Human

We will begin to see ourselves for our true human nature - beautiful and imperfect beings. We will learn to adopt a new outlook on achieving our goals - progress, not perfection. We will discuss, journal, and meditate on the fact that we are changing beings and that life is constantly changing, so taking a more kind, fluid, and compassionate approach is more realistic than our previous perfectionist approach. We will then begin to understand that mistakes are a very natural part of this human experience, and to not be so hard on ourselves when we do make a mistake.

Lesson 4

Setting More Reasonable Goals, Receiving Criticism, & Increasing Compassion

As perfectionists, we tend to set unrealistic goals for ourselves - we tend to expect ourselves to show up perfectly on the first try. A way to work with this is to start setting more realistic goals. Progress, not perfection! Setting realistic and reasonable goals will leave us feeling more confident and able to achieve our goals. As humans, we tend to take things personally, and that includes criticism. When we take things personally, we are unable to separate the feedback from our own personal worth. We must cultivate and understand that criticism isn’t personal, and actually allow for room for growth. Let us learn to reframe criticism first by evaluating if what is being said is in fact true, and then if it is, how can we use this information. As perfectionists, we typically are the ones putting the most pressure on ourselves, no one else. What’s needed is to practice kindness towards ourselves, to practice self-compassion, and to practice self-acceptance. We can lower our unrealistic standards and still stay motivated and do our best. Realizing there is no “perfect” but can applaud ourselves for doing our best.

Lesson 5

Focus On Meaning Rather Than Perfection & Incorporate Gratitude

Rather than focusing on trying to do something perfectly, shift your attention to the intention behind what you are doing and its meaning. If it brings us joy, and it’s for the greater good, it doesn’t matter if it’s perfect. If there is intention and meaning, then we can find fulfillment along the way. The mind can easily get conditioned to look for flaws. One way to shift this is by resting in gratitude for what we already have, what we’ve already achieved, and how much we’ve learned along the way. We train the mind to actively look for what’s going well in our lives, rather than things that have gone poorly. Research backs that gratitude can help undo negative thought patterns ( common amongst perfectionists), lower levels of depression, and increase positivity and happiness.

Lesson 6

Seeing The Beauty In Our Imperfections

On our final day, we will look at all beauties in our imperfections, how they’ve shaped us, and made us who we are today. We are each a special, unique, human being with our own unique journeys, let us celebrate this. Just as there are no two same snowflakes or two same fingerprints, there is no one like us. That is what is so beautiful about this being human. Rather than striving for a "perfect" version of ourselves, we learn to soften into our imperfections. We realize it's what makes us US! Perhaps, we might have viewed some of our personality traits as flaws or bumps and setbacks on our journey as failures, but they are just parts of life that have shaped us into who we are in this exact moment. We close the course by celebrating our humanness, our flaws, the beauty of making mistakes, and all we’ve learned about ourselves along the way. We will discuss, journal, and closeout on a practice tapping into the gratitude for who we’ve become due to our imperfections.

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Events

Retreats

Self-Love For Perfectionists

About this course

Meet your Teacher

Laurasia Mattingly

Lesson 1

Identifying Our “Perfectionist” Narrative

Lesson 2

Meeting Our Story With Kindness & Rewriting Our Narrative

Lesson 3

Accepting What It Is To Be Human

Lesson 4

Setting More Reasonable Goals, Receiving Criticism, & Increasing Compassion

Lesson 5

Focus On Meaning Rather Than Perfection & Incorporate Gratitude

Lesson 6

Seeing The Beauty In Our Imperfections

Lesson 1

Identifying Our “Perfectionist” Narrative

Lesson 2

Meeting Our Story With Kindness & Rewriting Our Narrative

Lesson 3

Accepting What It Is To Be Human

Lesson 4

Setting More Reasonable Goals, Receiving Criticism, & Increasing Compassion

Lesson 5

Focus On Meaning Rather Than Perfection & Incorporate Gratitude

Lesson 6

Seeing The Beauty In Our Imperfections