Have Some Self-Compassion, Give Yourself A Break

Hi,

I'm Scott Schuett.

I lead our mindfulness and compassion programs here at LinkedIn.

Did you ever have one of those moments when things weren't going so well in your life and your inner talk track that inner critic was not helping you?

Well today we're going to talk about self-compassion.

Sometimes we're our own worst enemies.

We think that we need to be hard on ourselves,

As if a good scolding is what we need to snap back into shape.

We say things to ourselves that we would never say to a friend or a loved one,

And it doesn't make us feel very good.

What we really need is a bit of self-compassion.

And here are three proven elements we can put into place.

The first factor in self-compassion is mindfulness.

In other words,

Having a realistic and holistic view of ourselves and the situation we're facing,

We start by being honest with ourselves.

Sometimes that means facing a hard truth.

Sometimes that means acknowledging things are not quite as bleak as they seem.

Second,

Common humanity.

It's important we recognize we're not isolated in our experience.

We're human.

We're imperfect,

Each one of us.

Other people have setbacks and disappointments just like we do.

It's not personal or unique to us.

It's a common experience.

And the third factor is self-kindness.

Self-compassion means being warm and understanding towards ourselves when we fail or suffer,

Rather than beating ourselves up with self-judgment.

We recognize we're not perfect.

Failing and dealing with imperfection is just a part of life.

We don't always get what we want.

Realizing this and working towards what we can do next time instead of being disappointed with where we are helps support a growth mindset and allows us to put more realistic and helpful expectations on ourselves.

Remember,

These three phrases can give us some self-compassion.

First,

What's the whole story?

Second,

It's not just me.

And third,

What do I most need right now?

Sometimes life can be challenging,

So let's give ourselves a break and have some self-compassion.