I'm going to begin by sharing the inspiration for this practice.
I do work in bringing mindfulness into schools,
Both with teachers and classes for students.
And I had a presentation to a group of 30 counselors the other day.
That was my longest presentation that I've ever given.
It was a two and a half hour professional development workshop.
And I was feeling pretty confident leading up to it.
I was feeling I was prepared and had my rehearsal down.
And Thursday,
Which was the day before,
I started to rehearse and kind of go over things.
And I just really was feeling off.
And then I started getting really,
Really scared.
And I started to doubt myself.
And I started to feel like,
Oh my gosh,
Maybe I don't have this as good as I think.
And like I said,
It was the longest presentation that I've ever done.
So I was a bit out of my own comfort zone.
And that day was really difficult for me.
All of the things came up.
Am I good enough?
Am I worthy to do this work?
Is it going to go well?
And it was a really,
Really tough day to go through.
But it really made me get present and really focus on getting my work straight.
And I woke up that Friday morning and I continued to rehearse and to rehearse and really give myself that validation.
At that point,
I could use the tools that I know and yes,
Give myself and say that I can do this.
And then at some point during that morning,
I had to just trust the work.
I put over 40 hours into preparing for this presentation.
And at some point,
I had to just let go and trust the work.
I'll come back to that in a second.
But as I got into my car and I started driving towards my destination of giving the presentation,
It was the most intense fear that I have ever felt.
But it wasn't like a fear like I'm scared of something that's going to happen to me.
It was that fear that you feel when you are moving towards what makes you uncomfortable.
When you are moving towards things that are going to grow you and what you're capable of.
And it was this really beautiful moment that I smiled.
I actually smiled in that car,
Even with that fear,
Because I knew that this is what it means to be alive.
That moving through this fear is how we grow.
It's how we do the things that we desire to do and how we really live our life purpose is facing that fear.
So there's two teaching points in this short story.
The first is that trust the work that our practice that you showing up here and giving yourself this time to meditate and to practice each day,
Whether you do it every day,
Whether you do it a couple times a week,
Doesn't matter.
But know that it is not a one off situation that the accumulation of your practice that is what we need to trust.
And even if we have a practice where we feel like we don't connect with it or doesn't go that well,
We have difficulty paying attention,
That we have to trust the work that over time that it's going to pay off in our lives when we don't see it.
And the next part of this story is that what we desire,
What we want in our life is often hidden behind a veil of our fears.
And I really believe that if you're looking to do the work that you love in this world,
The fastest way to find that is to ask yourself what makes you both nervous and excited,
Because it's that fear that we must go towards,
Because that's what's going to grow us into doing things that we never thought that we would be capable of.
And I know from my own personal experience,
And each one of you that are listening to this,
That you are capable of so much more than you think.
So now we're going to get into our practice to help us to trust the work and connect and do more with what we're capable of.
So go ahead and start to bring yourself down.
Start to connect with your body.
Start to lengthen in the places where you need to lengthen.
And relax and soften in the places where you need to soften.
Relax the muscles of the face,
The jaw,
And let's just take a moment to settle in.
If your eyes aren't closed,
That would bring them to close or you can look down.
We're actually going to start today's practice in what I call grounding in gratitude.
So using a little gratitude practice to get us here,
Get us in our space.
Because often it's the appreciation for things that really does a powerful job of opening us up.
So I'd like you first to find gratitude for something very simple,
Something that has worked so far in your day.
So maybe you woke up and the heat was on to keep you warm.
The heat worked.
Maybe this morning your coffee maker worked.
Your car turned on.
Something just super basic that we can just find some thanks for something that we don't normally recognize.
And moving now to some gratitude for your meditation practice.
So maybe you can even look back at when you started to meditate.
Whether it's been a year,
Ten years,
A couple months,
Maybe you're brand new to this practice.
See if you can look back and show appreciation for finding it,
For what it's done for you.
Maybe you can look back at who that person was who started and who that person is now.
And see if there's been any sort of shift.
Just finding thanks for what it's allowed into your life.
I'll just take a couple more moments here.
And finally,
Let's just bring gratitude for one person in our life.
Someone special,
Someone that we love,
Someone that loves us.
Just thank them for their presence in your life.
Often it's recommended by different teachers,
Especially within the Buddhist tradition of giving the fruits of our practice up to something greater than ourselves.
So giving the fruits of our practice up to other people or up to all beings in the world.
Now at first when I heard that I thought it was a very,
It seems like it didn't really connect with me.
But then I realized that it's not about not doing our own work,
But it's rather that by doing the work on ourselves,
We have an impact on all the people that we come across.
And that is the intention to give it up.
And it reminds me of the Christian prayer of St.
Francis of,
Make me an instrument of your peace.
Make my practice be for the benefit of all.
It's the same thing.
So maybe in whatever way feels good for you,
Whether it's on giving your practice up to all beings or saying make me be an instrument of your peace.
You're just taking a moment to set that intention.
And let's take a good breath in and let that go.
Let's just use a few minutes just to work with the attention and just to work with our breath.
Let's find the area in your body that the breath feels right for you.
So maybe notice it in through the nose.
Maybe notice the rise and fall of the chest or the rise and the fall of the abdomen.
And pick one of those and see if you can rest your attention on there.
And see if you can notice if and when the mind wanders.
And practice bringing it back to the core foundation of our practice.
And sometimes when this basic practice becomes difficult we can be frustrated,
We can be restless.
And this is where we can use that mantra of trusting the work.
And each time we notice that we wandered,
We notice the visitor of our thoughts.
And trust in our work of bringing it back into the area of our focus,
Just noticing and feeling the breath.
Let's just take a minute here.
And since many of you are.
Practicing here on Inside Timer,
You may be familiar with the symbolization and the meaning of the lotus flower.
What that is is that it is a seed that grows at the bottom of a lake and in the dirt and in the grime.
And in order for it to grow it has to work,
Become and to work persist through the muck,
Through the grime and the dirt.
Until finally when the conditions are right,
It blossoms at the top of the lake and we see this beautiful flower.
But what we don't see is the work that it took to get there.
It's really a beautiful reminder of our practice and the work that we are doing.
Because we are that seed.
We are that flower.
And each time that we bring our focus back onto our breath,
And each time that we allow ourselves to be with the uncomfortable feelings,
To be with the muck and the situations that present themselves in our life.
That is us doing our work.
And that is how we must trust that that work is going to pay off.
Trust that the work that you are doing,
Through the muck,
Through the grime,
That is flowering so many beautiful blossoms.
You might see them flower and then you might have to go through some more muck and see another one flower.
So it may not just be one.
There is another moment here of really connecting to that internal seed in your heart.
Maybe feeling a little bit of the openness as with each breath that your work continues to open.
The muck that we must move through as our own flower,
As we start to come more into a deeper sense of self-expression and realization.
And that is the work of our growth.
And being with those stressful areas of our life is how we grow,
And we have such power.
So let's first just see if we can find any part of your body that might feel a little bit uncomfortable,
A little bit unpleasant.
So seeing if we can be with first the discomfort in our physical body.
So it is a good place for us to start.
Maybe there is a tightness in your hips,
Your sitting,
Your neck,
Your shoulders,
Your head,
Maybe not there.
So you can just focus that tension back on your anchoring breath point.
And if you did find a part that is a little discomfort,
Just notice what it feels like to just be with it.
Without reacting,
Without wanting to change it,
Just taking a breath and letting it be okay that it is there.
Just trust the work of the breath.
And this practice really gives us incredible power to be with discomfort.
So we are going to use this same intention with a real situation in your life.
So I would like you to think of a situation that brings up fear for you.
Maybe it is similar to mine of you having to give some sort of presentation or some sort of public speaking.
Maybe there is a project at work that you need to finish by a certain deadline.
Maybe there is a conversation in your life that you are afraid to have.
Anything that you might have going on that can bring up,
That is bringing up fear when you think about it.
In this very safe container of your practice,
Let's see if you can go there in your mind.
Let's see if you can create that same situation.
And without going into the narrative and the dialogue of maybe where you want to go,
The thoughts that might come.
And see if you can practice noticing the felt experience in your body when you put yourself into this situation.
Where can you feel the fear?
And if there is nothing in your life where you feel fearful of,
Maybe something else that makes you feel discomfort you can imagine.
Whatever that is,
See if you can first just feel it in your body.
Is there a tightening in the chest?
Clenching in the jaw?
Butterflies in the stomach?
See if you can hone in on that part of the body and just breathe and be with it.
Trust the work.
And if this is a fear that is growing you,
That if by doing this it will maybe give you some sort of relief or give you some sort of feeling of accomplishment.
And there also might be a failure that could come from it.
And I've done many presentations that didn't go how I wanted it to.
Regardless,
It is all part of us moving through the muck and growing.
And we have the power to give ourselves what we need in these moments.
So see if you can allow this fear to be exactly where it is.
And if you're capable,
Maybe notice what it feels like if you smile with the fear there.
Can you find a smile even in the midst of this discomfort?
I'd like you to repeat either out loud or silently or you're welcome to just listen to these words.
This is growing me.
I can do this.
I am capable.
I am strong.
I am worthy.
This is good.
This is growing me.
I can do this.
I am capable.
I am strong.
I am so freaking worthy.
Let's take a breath in.
And let that go.
And still keeping this fear with us,
Knowing that it's part of our journey.
Let's do a little visualization to end our practice.
I'd like you to imagine yourself getting into a car with this fear and you're going to go on this long road trip.
You're not exactly sure where the destination is,
But you know it's beautiful.
You know it's peaceful.
You know it's everything that you've ever wanted.
Your dreams,
It might be your goals,
Whatever resonates for you.
Instead of having this fear be in your body,
I'd like you to imagine that with each breath,
You move the fear to the passenger seat.
Notice if there's any resistance in having this fear be by your side as you go on this journey.
After you get the fear out of you and have it sitting there,
Maybe seeing if you can see it not as someone to resist on your journey,
But as a friend.
We can say thanks for coming along.
Go ahead and you can start driving and maybe you imagine yourself driving on beautiful backcountry roads.
Maybe you can imagine yourself by the beach,
Whatever feels like a good drive for you.
Breathing and being with this fear right by your side and knowing that not only is the fear good that it's with you,
It's actually what is guiding you.
This fear is your North Star.
It is your GPS system.
It is showing you where you need to go if you truly want all that you've dreamed of.
So just see if you can breathe and smile as you drive along with this fear.
Knowing that everything that you want in your life is just on the other side of what you fear.
Let's take a breath in and let that go.
And then slowly begin to come back into your body and come back into this room.
Whenever you feel ready,
You can open your eyes.
I'll end by noting that the presentation that I gave went very,
Very well.
That was shown what happens when you face your fear.
It's something that I always teach to people and I really believe that what you want is on the other side of our fear.
Our job is to create a new relationship with our fears.
I do want to note that I'm so excited because I actually,
A day of the course that I have coming out,
I think it's going to come out in April on Insight Timer.
There's a whole day that's on creating a new relationship with our fears.
Actually,
I think I talked about it for a couple of days.
So look out for that if this is something that you'd like to go deeper into.
As always,
So much love and appreciation for you practicing with me.
I'll see you next time.
Namaste.
